What is wrong with me?


Full Member
S: 14st5.5lb C: 12st5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.1 Loss: 2st0.5lb(14.14%)
I'm boring myself now with the cheating. Had nibbles and take away and vodka yesterday, was that enough? No, in anticipation to last ights social scoffing I ate a bloody loaf, crisps, more bread and more crisps, oh and pop too. Did I start back on this morning, uh no 'cos I woke starving.

Why do I do it?. The hell of getting back into ketosis is awful, so why do I put myself in this situation? This is the 4th time I'll have cheated and had to go through the horrid getting back into ketosis hell.

I did start my period yesterday evening, so kind of assuming that my pigginess was somewhat due to that, but oh dear me!

I seem to be sabotaging my loss as I am within a stone of target and am kind of scared of reaching goal, cos I have issues with being slim (vulnerability, unwanted attention).

Also starting to experience jealousy from some people who I thought were friends, the more I lose. I think that I'm avoiding making people dislike me (messed up aren't I!).

Sorry for ramble and thanks if you've got this far:eek:
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S: 15st5lb C: 11st6lb G: 10st10lb Loss: 3st13lb(25.58%)
I feel for you..........
you just need to find your mojo........
just do it.........
it can be hard with friends and family.
people don't like change.
look how well you have done.


Full Member
I cam sympathise Hun. I've had horrible week. Dreading my wi tomorrow. But I've decided that so long as I've not put on I'll be happy. And tomorrow is a new day and a new week and this has been a blip. Sounds like your going through a blip too. You'll get back to it (if I can then anybody can!) x


Gold Member
S: 20st0lb C: 16st7lb G: 12st12lb BMI: 36.2 Loss: 3st7lb(17.5%)
Hi hon

You really have to start digging down and trying to figure out what exactly you are feeling when you are eating/tempted to eat. It takes time and persistence but the more you try and do it the easier it gets... and usually pen and paper works. In general the advice is that you have to consider 4 different areas under the acronym HALTS... it's been tried and tested as a way to help you become aware of and stay in touch with your feelings and needs and stands for "never let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Scared"

Hungry - Although food comes immediately to mind (when doesn't it?), there are many other things for which we can "hunger." We all need a sense of worth, connection to others and to something bigger than ourselves, appreciation, and many others. Miss out on some of these basic emotional needs for very long and we can end up sad or depressed.

Angry - We all get angry. No problem there. The problem comes when anger is our most common emotion and our first response to most situations or there is a level of anger/resentment simmering on a regular basis. Anger is how feeling hurt, frustrated and/or afraid manifests ..i.e the expression of the emotion... so it may be that you into dig a bit into those relationships you talked about. In other words pay attention to and deal with the emotions that anger typically grows out of ( fear, frustration, hurt) don't just "swallow" it down.

Lonely - In spite of all the modern ways we have to communicate with each other, we still live in a culture where it is incredibly easy to become isolated. If you are finding this is one of your things (you are not being the real you in relationships so are "disconnected" emotionally etc) then you need to start finding ways to address this too. It may be that at times you are eating to fill the loneliness.... I know this was and is one of my big triggers.

Tired - It's not that most people don't have the time to rest, it's that most people have actually forgotten how. When it comes to the ultimate form of rest, sleeping, when was the last time you got the recommended 8 - 10 hours? We can push ourselves just so far before the body takes over and forces us to rest. But other forms of rest are just as important... i.e. making sure you take time for yourself and value yourself enough to allow yourself too (rather than constantly dancing to the drum of other people's needs and neglecting your own).

Scared - Fear can do the same thing - paralyze us into inaction. Fear of failure, of rejection, of success, of the future, you name it, we get too scared and we freeze up. Facing your fears and taking action is spite of them can reduce or eliminate your fears. Remember that fear stands for forget everything and run and false evidence appearing real. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is being afraid of something and doing it anyway.

Having one or more of these things present on a day to day basis can make us vulnerable to temptation. You've already mentioned some stuff that could fit in with some of above. I know that through this journey I have started to learn to value and care for myself more; this has resulted in my developing boundaries in my friendships for the the first time.... some "friends" haven't appreciated this as it no longer suits their needs/I no longer fit into the box they had me in so that makes them feel threatened.... these people have been dropped from my "friends" list and I can see they were never really friends in the first place... they used me as a shoulder to cry on, an ego boost etc.

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