Why am I so hungry?

[Cerulean]

Do you get hungry in an attempt at self-sabotage the closer you get to goal, do you think? Because - AGH! My chatterbox is okay - but I really do feel ravenous. I keep eating all my packs before 1pm this week.

It doesn't help that I have no fruit flavourings to play with. I suppose I could have a cup of delicious savoury drink.

I feel really distracted and scatty. I could go out tonight - it's the first night of my friend's new club night so I should go along and have a dance - but I went to the pub last night and was bored so I'm not sure it's sociability that I'm craving.

Agggggggh - diversionary tactics needed RIGHT NOW!

 

[Sez]

Right, these are my diversions, as I have been battling the self same demons lately!

1) Luxury hot bath, bubble machine going, Lush bath bomb (my absolute fave is Butterball), music and/or a good book. Oh, and a Yankee candle glowing on the window sill!

2) Early bed, candles, book as above, fizzy water to sip, soft music.

3) Lateral thigh trainer to VERY VERY loud music to drown out the "voices".

4) Painting. (Bought a cheap canvas and some acrylics - tried to emulate Kandinsky's circles!!)

5) If you have a partner....well use your imagination!!


Seriously though, I know it can be so tough, but I really regret those occasions where I allowed the hunger(that wasnt really there) to get the better of me. You will feel so much more proud of yourself if you beat this stage! You are doing so well, and you WANT to see this through as quickly as possible... you know you do!!!

 

[In search of me]

Some days worse than others but I did find pre milk week (well 4 days!) that I felt worse but feel a bit better now. Dont know if its just that you get a bit run down & more vulnerable as time goes on? Not sure if you have eaten at al but that may be it? If not would it be worth consdering a milk week or few days? Also started taking a multivitamin and iron....Distraction helps too! Have you got any hobbies? Early night may help if youre feeling cakky...WOuld try spacing packs out a bit though!! Also how is your BP? big hugs and hang in there!

 

[Cerulean]

Thanks Sarah and ISOM

Alas I'm single, I don't have an LTT and I've run out of Lush stuff - so that's a couple of things off the list!

Funnily enough I went out shopping today with the intention of restocking my favourite bath melts etc and getting some watercolour paper (great minds!) and I only got the watercolour paper! D'oh!

I'm a bit down because my flat is quite untidy - and I never feel like doing anything creative when the flat's in a mess. So I tidied up for an hour or so and now I've come back upstairs with my laptop, a big glass of fizzy water and a cup of green tea.

I haven't eaten at all ISOM - and I'm not about to eat - but grrrr this feels like I did in month one! Also - don't tell anyone but I'm on week 22 and my counsellor has not even mentioned milk week. The only reason I even know about it is through Minimins - and to be honest the programme ran for almost 20 years without milk week so I'm not sure...I have noticed in my group that the closer people have got to goal, the more hungry they seem to have got. Ah well - just 8 more weeks!

Thank you both!

 

[Mrs Lard]

I SO wish I had seen this post earlier. I have had my first really, really bad day and I think it's precisely because I am getting closer to goal (not there yet but closer than 3 months ago). My inner saboteur/crooked thinking/rebellious child has got out and gone mad.

Sez and ISOM, what great tactics. Some I swear by - the bath, particularly - and going to bed.

But how do you cope when these things are not possible? Unlike Ceurlean (Sarah), I have not been 100% abstinent but I am determined to get back on track. Interestingly, our LLC didn't mention milk week either.

One question that keeps coming up for me is how do we take care of ourselves (when we haven't in the past)? How do we get to learn that eating when physical hunger isn't present is nothing other than self-destructive? I may know this rationally but I don't feel it emotionally. How can you make that connection? I realise I don't know how to put myself first (in a healthy way, not a selfish way).

Any thoughts?

Thanks.

Mrs L xx

 

[Cerulean]

Thank you!

Good stuff there Mrs. Lard! (Although having seen your rear view I am tempted to call you Mrs. Flora Light) what you just mentioned is a lightbulb moment I had back in about week 5 or 6 (when it all started getting easier) that it's all to do with finding something other than food to take care of oneself with.

Last night I was feeling low because my sort of ex (very long saga - were good friends and have been for years) has not been around for a while and it's usually him I vent and talk to at such moments. My best friend has moved away from London - my female best friend doesn't really talk about stuff like this and my other close friends were all out. So just before I wnt t bed - I heaved myself up my spiral staircase and thought about what was wrong (the act of dragging myself upstairs is a good metaphor for getting through a problem) and it was lack of intimacy - I haven't got the right sort of support around me at the moment. But then I don't exactly get involved with supporting other epople so I'd feel selfish asking for it - also it's a bit late in the journey to find a new friend and train them up in time! (and also that sounds really selfish!)

I'm worried about work and money even though the past should have trained me not to worry about either as I seem to lead a charmed life in both cases! But I think it might be time for a change of job. I don't know - but the anxiety I've felt over the past couple of days certainly ties in to a work incident. So I need to work through that. Alas, I have no one to talk to at work about what went wrong there as it is review time and it is not a good time to blot my copybook by whinging about colleagues and my failings. But yes. Excellent self care is required so I contracted with myself last night to do Julia Cameron's The Artists Way so I can stop whinging at myself over my neglected creativity - and the programme also encourages you to do a lot of work on your negative thoughts and freezing.

 

[In search of me]

I think the taking care of yourself takes time and practice! We didnt get here by doing that and we're not going to chnge overnight. Plus there are times when life is busy and that we have to give a little here so take a little of ourslves in the process! I guess its just about trying to balance the different elements of our lives isnt it eh! I find when my flats untidy I feel quite down too so have a good bash at it & usuallu feel much better! Also sometimes need to take complete time out and immerse myself in good dvd (or crappy depending on your take!!) and remove myself from the world! Sleep also makes a huge difference although as time goes on I find I dont need as much as I did!! Hope you feel better today. Re milk week I did feel better for it even though I only did 4 days and the chai latte was heaven....(cant have it off milk week as its revolting without milk!)...also gives you a bit of a physical boost and MAY (they say!) actually kick start you! Also goo practice for beng out of ketosis (I felt quite panicy after 3 months in it!)...just a thought! She may not have mentioned it because you started before me...I think we were the first cohort! Let me know if you want more info as I still have the leaflet!

 

[Tiger Girl]

Hey Sarah

Well I think you've hit the nail on the head with your last post as to why you're feeling so hungry. Sounds like you've got a lot going on right now and don't feel like you've got the right support around you.

On my bad days, it can often be everything else that's going on building up before I realise that's why I feel hungry. My chatterbox often goes into 'what's the point?' mode which just increases the general anxiety levels and frustration - not sure if it's the same for you?
Like you, I've stayed 100% abstinent but I can't lie, it's definitely getting tougher, ie more frequent bursts of rebellious child chatterbox gone mental behaviour, the closer I get to goal.

I'm single too just now and definitely having to do a lot of work mentally on how can I look this fabulous and be single?!?! It's not really the most helpful thought for me!
The thing which is helping me just now is the fact that the frequency of these moments are definitely increasing, so in a way I don't feel so scared by them anymore and have accepted that this is how it is just now...when they hit, I can now ride it out in a much less panicked way than I did the first time it happened.

Re the support issue: I do think it's so important to get the external stuff, but always always know that the person getting you through all of this is YOU! And I think personally, you are doing unbelievably brilliantly. Your posts always give me so much to think about and I really enjoy them all.
Also, whilst all of my very thin friends have been incredibly supportive - I couldn't have asked for more really, they're not on this journey and there really is so much to be said for the support that everyone here can give. Even though we are all total virtual strangers!

Let us know how you're getting on
TG x