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Why eat in secret?

KD

Gone fishing
#2
Ashamed? Embarrassed?

IMO Eating in secret usually means we're eating something that we wouldn't want others to see. Probably too much of something.

Eating too much is wrongly associated with greed...something that is frowned on in this society when it comes to food. You can be greedy when it comes to possessions mind you:eek:

Not food though...and it's certainly frowned upon if you are overweight.

This would be a great question for the 'bring your head in' room.

Do you mind if I move it to there?
 

Cheb

Gold Member
S: 17st4lb C: 15st1lb BMI: 36.2 Loss: 2st3lb(12.81%)
#3
Ooh good question, hopefully I'll read some answers.
Think I do it cos I don't want others to see that I'm failing yet another diet; but I also feel it's a bit more deeprooted cos my mum used to nag me about food as a child then another day reward me with it......mmm, need to give it more thought and will post a deeeeep and thoughtful answer as to why I think I do it.
 

Piper

Regular Member
#4
a) because its something for me that no one can interfere with
b) because I dont want anyone to see how much I'm eating
c) because I dont want anyone to see what I'm eating
d) because I dont want to share whatever it is with the kids LOL
e) guilt/shame

Those are in no particular order by the way - just some of the issues taht spring to mind for me.

Lynne x
 
#6
Because food that has been eaten secretly has no calories??
Love that one!!!!!

Mine has always been because it's something luxurious like a fig or fresh raspberries and I haven't then had to deal with kids and dogs wanting a bit to try!

Hubby thinks it's hilarious that when the kids were younger I'd take some yummy fruit and a mag and go and have a long hot bath!

I think one of my kids is a secret choccy eater as I'm always finding wrappers stashed away :rolleyes: . Don't know why they feel they ahve to eat in secret as I've never chastised them over food but brought them up to eat healthily and with everything in moderation!
 

Diva

Cambridge Diet Counsellor
#7
Great discussion here...I'm moving it into the Bring Your Head Inside forum so that others on other programmes can participate as well....
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#8
a) because its something for me that no one can interfere with
b) because I dont want anyone to see how much I'm eating
c) because I dont want anyone to see what I'm eating
d) because I dont want to share whatever it is with the kids LOL
e) guilt/shame

Those are in no particular order by the way - just some of the issues taht spring to mind for me.

Lynne x
Yes. Each of those rang some major bells for me.
 
#9
Yes - I recognised myself in them too!

I think I would eat in secret as I didn't want people thinking "ooh look at that fat knacker!! Greedy lardy-ahrsed pig!!"

If I was on my own, I could kid myself that it was ok....
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st3.5lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 1st12.5lb(10.43%)
#10
Food and love seemed to be connected so much in our house growing up.

My mother was an excellent cook and it was the one thing that we were privy to that put a smile on our Dad's face.

He was the king and he ruled his little fiefdom with a stern look and silent direction most of the time; other times he was like mount Vesuvius and he spoke in tongues.

So when I look back and see him smile or laugh, he is either being fed by my mother, me, aunt, friend, or eating out in a restaurant. So food definitely is tied up with happy memories.

Cleaning your plate was a big deal and being grateful and thankful for our bounty. Everything was celebrated with food and drink, marriage, birth, and death...death being the big one as it went on and on drowning sorrows in food and drink.

All of the above was controlled by and dictated to us from adults and it was I believe how they showed love in those days, we just did what we were told.

My brother was a secret eater, he ate everything that was being kept for special occasions. Never occurred to him that if he ate it, the rest of us did without. One Christmas he managed to open all the boxes of biscuits with a blade, eat the bottom layers and reseal the boxes, of course we discovered when they were opened what he had done. We thought how daring and clever he was, my mother thought different.

His Easter trick one year was the best...we must of had about thirty Chocolate Easter Eggs on display that each of us had received as presents or bought ourselves and being the tradition we had to wait for Easter Sunday before we could touch them.

What a surprise when the day finally came and we discovered that our brother had secretly with a blade again got into the back of each Easter Egg and removed it's back along with the contents and resealed the boxes with the front turned outward so no one ever noticed until the day! Yep, that was a real master stroke!

Why eat in secret? why smoke, why drink, why do drug, why have sex....????

Is it not about entering the world of the adult and testing boundaries, experimenting, making mistake, risk-taking and taking conrol...becoming stuck and not moving on.

I have yet to meet a perfect human being.
 
#12
I find that when I know I am going to be at home in the evening I buys loads of unhealthy snack and a big takeaway dinner and just sit and pig out completely and then throw away all the wrappers before anyone gets home. I wonder why I do that!
 

chicken on a mission

Restarting to lose 4stone
#13
Why eat in secret?

Because my hubby struggles with his weight and diet and I don't want to lead him astray and I certainly don't want my daughter to follow my example :(
 
#14
For me it was definitely because if no-one sees me eat it - I haven't eaten it!!
My husband & kids couldn't understand why I kept putting weight on as they never saw me binging!!
Also - shame, disgust, & denial - not good resons.
One of my really gut-wrenching experiences since starting CD was when my 11 year old realised that all those 'missing treats' had gone into my tum!! - it was so upsetting when I explained it to me but these are the experiences that have made my resolve to succeed so strong - honesty being the best policy & all that.
As I near maintenance (10lbs to go), I'm trying to note the feelings of disgust without letting them overwelm me so that when I feel the urge to binge (& I know it's still lurking) they'll pop up like the most annoying 'pop-ups' & deleting the feeling will be impossible without losing the inclination to over-eat - that's part of my plan anyway.

Hope this helps & good luck
Lisa

PS: Does anyone know how to update the ticker??
 
#15
As ever Lisa you talk complete sense. I remember hiding food upstairs and binging on the lot when everyone was asleep! Something that now disgusts me no wonder I got so big! When we moved to our last house I moved the wardrobe and found 36 empty boxes of custard tarts! that I'd forgotten about! I'd eaten them when I was preg with my first child it was my craving! why had I hidden the boxes? Guilt? I used to drive down the road and buy 5 big macs and chips and stuff the lot on the way home and still eat dinner! also when I was preg! Hence I went from 9st 5lbs to 19st 10lbs in 9 months.
 
#16
I find that when I know I am going to be at home in the evening I buys loads of unhealthy snack and a big takeaway dinner and just sit and pig out completely and then throw away all the wrappers before anyone gets home. I wonder why I do that!
Yes, i do (did) this too, frequently. I genuinely LOVE having the house to myself when i'm not dieting because i use it as an excuse to stuff my face.

For me it's shame and embarressment. I wouldn't want anyone to know exactly how much rubbish i can consume when i'm alone. I even feel a little jumpy if i'm eating a chocolate bar, biscuit, packet of crisps, whatever and my husband walks in unexpected, i guess i think he's going to be thinking "no wonder you're so fat" :( which is madness because i know he loves me as i am and has never commented about my weight at all.

I wish i knew the answer.......
 

Ivy

Silver Member
#17
Oh this thread is excellent.

For me, i love binge eating alone...i literally could and have filled a plastic bags with goodies, locked the door, drew the curtains and ate myself stupid. DH would come in after work and say - you hungry? i'd say of course i was...havent eaten all day. i would HIDE the wrappers...burn them if need be...

No major insight into why i do it - but like everyone its easy to 'fool' myself into thinking that it wasnt 'that bad' without the glaring eyes of anyone.

In a way, its an extremely lonely and desperate thing to do.

I know i felt lonely on the times i did it. Food maybe was replacing a pal at the time

And after all, most people who have alot of weight to lose will refer to food being a 'friend' and a comfort...

Even now, and as clean as my house can be, i still find chocolate wrappers a-lurking...

Ivy
 
S: 17st3.0lb G: 10st0lb
#18
I'm terrible at eating in secret. The main reason i do it - because what i eat is junk and i know i'm not supposed to be eating it. If noone can see me then maybe I can kid myself that it doesnt matter!!
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#19
I couldn't agree more Helen.

And THIS IS an excellent thread topic...xxx
 

Cheb

Gold Member
S: 17st4lb C: 15st1lb BMI: 36.2 Loss: 2st3lb(12.81%)
#20
Have given this some thought.....

I eat in secret because....
  • I don't want others to know that I'm failing to stick to my latest diet -even though it will soon be obvious as I don't get slimmer!
  • I can prove to myself that I have control of what I eat and nobody can tell me what to do with this aspect of my life - even though I clearly am not in control, the food is in control. Think it stems from having a mum who was the Food Police.
  • I like the taste and if I eat in secret I can pretend even to myself that I didn't have it.
Sure there are plenty more reason in my addled mind, let you know when I've thought some more!
 


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