Without knowing the exact details of it all, it's hard for me to say. And it is never about being right or wrong. It is about how best to give and receive friendship. And sometimes even the best friendships will cause hurt. Friends offer different things- from someone to go out partying wiht, to someone who's hsoulder you cna lean on anytime, someone who supports career choices or someone who helps you up your game at the gym, sometimes it someone who needs you as they are going through too much themsleves to eb tehre for you. It's time to step away when the friendship is not nourishing either of you
What was the other friend's reason for defending them? Would you have liked to have been involved in the birhtday celebrations? (I'd hate it, I share a birthday with my best friend for 10 years now and i do feel its better to do our thing seperately). Do you communicate with them as you would like tehm to communicate with you. And I am going to ask a question that may sound hurtful (please remember I think the world of you and you are a fabulous person) - are the others perhaps a closer circle? Groups of friends come with different dynamics and can be harder than the one on ones. Perhaps the friends were thoughtless, perhaps they were cruel, or perhaps they felt you wouldn't want to be part of it? I have absolutley no idea, but i really do feel for you. Remember that you are special and you are loved
Thanks Kellie, this is how it goes...
Me, A & V been friends since we were 4, Im a day older than A, and every year on birthdays, I end up doing what A wants for ease. We have always been close, and used to tell each other everything but officially me and V were always closest and have much more in common, During School we had AW join our friendship, and without sounding awful, it was AW who was put more to the side, as she is very different from Me, A & V. And still if the 3 of us meet, they spend alot of time just moaning about AW, as she can be quite selfish.
This May, its Mine, A's and V's 30th, and we all said we wanted to do something together, I was abit wary of a party as I have different friends outside of 'us' but had decided and told them that in order for us to all be together to celebrate then yes, I want to do the party. So it was all agreed.
I got friendly with a girl, who I shall call 'L' about 6 yrs ago, noone ever made effort with her, and we got quite close, we used to do loads together and it was great cos she was like my other close friend not in the group - L and AW always used to argue, never get on, and very often not even say Hello!!
L met a new guy and fell pregnant really quick, and suddenly didnt contact me as much, I still called, texted and would nip round etc, but L kept texting V talking babies, later, L asked V to be a godparent, which did upset me as for all these yrs, none of them even went to see her, meet up with her, infact do anything until L fell pregnant, I told L that I felt abit pushed out and couldnt understand why she isnt bothering with me as much and why she would want V as a Godparent, L's response was 'V has security and is well off with money, which is why I chose her for godparent' I was utterly shocked and decided that I cant keep this up and neither me and L spoke. When I came back from Bournemouth I saw L and felt really upset, she would Zoom in on V and hand her a pic of her daughter and V would be exstatic and it just hurts me to see it.
One it embarrasses me and 2, She chose another friendship over me and 3, V accepted and 4, L was my friend
So anyway...once the party was agreed I then get a call telling me L wants in on the party, I got upset andsaid how can I celebrate with her, she has really hurt me, so they got abit funny saying 'that I should argue with L so she knows how I feel, for me to tell her I dont want her in the party etc' but either way they wont!!
I dont want L to know how its made me feel, I just dont want that extra stress, Im dealing with it my way, so as a result they opted to continue the party with L in and me out.
In some ways it all sounds childish, even jealous I suppose, but its hard to convey how it really is.
But to me, Im hurt, upset and feel like our loyaltys to each other for 26 yrs count for nothing, when L who has been in there for 2 yrs perhaps does.
