56 days til crimbo!!!!!! 2 stone down?

[wannabslim]

Good evening angels!!

Well, I'm back from my weekend with my mum (dad was away) and had a lovely time. She made me 810 meals and made sure I was good - kept me busy and I had no time to think about food or feel hungry... apart from when they had (FOOD ALERT) a roast today and I couldnt have the tatties, parsnips,carrots or gravy it was hard but I tried to stay positive.

I dont know if you've ever seen my diary or anything about my mum, but she has always been very blunt about my weight and seems to think that I was a chubby child (which I wasnt), and it gave me a complex as I was growing up. Through my teens and into my twenties she still would make remarks that hurt, even though she would hate to upset me and would be mortified if she knew.

So, with all this in mind, the fact that she looked me up and down (literally) yesterday, knowing I was on CD and said after about 3 mins of just standing there staring at me....

"Gosh Nick, you look SO much better.... SO much better.... I can't believe the difference.... gosh."

Now that, from my mum, is like THE BIGGEST compliment ever. Might sound strange to you guys but it meant the world to me and made me realise that now I really MUST look OK (even though I dont feel it inside, I know that I have some kind of body dismorphia so I will never probably truly feel it, unless I seek some sort of help... dismorphia caused by my childhood). But, as I was saying, if my MUM can say that about me, it MUST mean I'm nearly there. She would never flatter or compliment me, and I'm pretty sure there was a massive compliment hidden in what she said.

Sorry to ramble but I feel something inside me has changed this weekend. At last, I feel proud to be my mums daughter, and she is happy to be seen with me. At last, I feel 'normal', even though my BMI isn't quite there, who cares???

Its sad but true, but this is the first time I've ever felt like my mum really accepts me inside AND out (I know inside she would always love me for being me, but she didn't like the way I looked).

I've gone on long enough, sorry but I needed to get this out and here seemed the best place.

Thanks Angels xxx

 

[Gloria19]

Hi Traice,
I think it runs for 3 weeks.
Just think, when it finishes, it will only be 2 weeks till crimbo, roast turk turk here I come!!!!!! Can't bloody wait!!
I liked it last year aswell with Janice dickinson and that lynn woman, they were always arguing, so funny. David guest was funny in it too.
I can't wait till xmas, food, drink, choclates, the lot im having, i dont care, its christmas!!!
Are you going the whole hog, or restraining yourself from the pleasures that xmas brings?? hah a ha

Hi Moti,

I am deffo not sticking to it over Christmas! The only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that I'm going to have food Christmas Eve. We're having a family do at my mothers on Christmas day, but on Christmas eve I'm doing a buffet here for my mam and dad, me and oh. I have been fancying volu vonts since starting this diet (even though I have hardly eaten them in my life) but, oh my word... i'm craving them something chronic. Going to have them, sarnies and all the pickings I can get my hands on for Christmas eve... then dinner on Christmas day and back on the diet..however, me saying back on the diet for boxing day is not a cert. If something comes up then i am going to enjoy myself. And...... i'm counting the days! lol It's so hard, so i'm focusing on Christmas eve.

I liked Janice Dickinson too 'ohhhh Maaan' Always someone fab in it.

Enjoy

 

[Gloria19]

Lostris - It makes it so much easier when people are supportive of this diet, glad it's that way for you hun. Can't beat a good chick flick either!! Men just pretend they don't like them, but I think they do really.
Sounds like you're going to have a great laugh over Christmas hun... and if you're sticking to 810, well done i'm soo excited!

Wannabslim - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyy word, i'm sooo pleased for you that you feel positive about what your mum has said. It's sad that she probably meant nothing much by it before, but it's hurt you and that is soo sad but i'm really pleased for you that she's complimented you and the affect it's had. None of us can change the past, and none of us can change whats been said to us in the past that has had a long lasting effect, but looking forward... it's great that what she says has meant the world to you. Good hunni, you deserve the compliments too!

Hope you've all had a good day x

 

[Sarah_V]

Good evening angels!!

Well, I'm back from my weekend with my mum (dad was away) and had a lovely time. She made me 810 meals and made sure I was good - kept me busy and I had no time to think about food or feel hungry... apart from when they had (FOOD ALERT) a roast today and I couldnt have the tatties, parsnips,carrots or gravy it was hard but I tried to stay positive.

I dont know if you've ever seen my diary or anything about my mum, but she has always been very blunt about my weight and seems to think that I was a chubby child (which I wasnt), and it gave me a complex as I was growing up. Through my teens and into my twenties she still would make remarks that hurt, even though she would hate to upset me and would be mortified if she knew.

So, with all this in mind, the fact that she looked me up and down (literally) yesterday, knowing I was on CD and said after about 3 mins of just standing there staring at me....

"Gosh Nick, you look SO much better.... SO much better.... I can't believe the difference.... gosh."

Now that, from my mum, is like THE BIGGEST compliment ever. Might sound strange to you guys but it meant the world to me and made me realise that now I really MUST look OK (even though I dont feel it inside, I know that I have some kind of body dismorphia so I will never probably truly feel it, unless I seek some sort of help... dismorphia caused by my childhood). But, as I was saying, if my MUM can say that about me, it MUST mean I'm nearly there. She would never flatter or compliment me, and I'm pretty sure there was a massive compliment hidden in what she said.

Sorry to ramble but I feel something inside me has changed this weekend. At last, I feel proud to be my mums daughter, and she is happy to be seen with me. At last, I feel 'normal', even though my BMI isn't quite there, who cares???

Its sad but true, but this is the first time I've ever felt like my mum really accepts me inside AND out (I know inside she would always love me for being me, but she didn't like the way I looked).

I've gone on long enough, sorry but I needed to get this out and here seemed the best place.

Thanks Angels xxx

Hi Wannabslim,

Sorry to get all emotional but something about your post made my heart ache a little... I too grew up with a kind of 'non acceptance' of what i looked like, for my parents, especially my mum, i think it was a fear i would be fat like she had been so she dragged me along to WW when i was 13...I WAS NOT FAT... and that's when my secret/binge eating began..

I am glad you loved the compliment, you are an incredibly attractive woman (maybe there is something there that also a little scary for our mums) and deserve to feel good about yourself and extremely proud of your acheivement.. I would be proud to be seen with you fat or thin (that isn't a come on lol) just wanted to re-iterate that sometimes our self esteems are on the floor when we are fat but we are bright, intelligent, sexy, incredible women whatever size we are

 

[Gloria19]

Very nicely put Sarah!! HERE HERE!

 

[wannabslim]

Thanks Sarah, I'm feeling a bit emotional too, and the thought of you being at WW at 13 is just scary no wonder you had a complex.

My brothers used to call me fatty all the time and I felt I had to eat secretly for fear of being criticised, even though my mum would give me the crisps, I couldnt eat them in front of anyone.

I have been reading up on body dysmorphia, and I think its definitely something I suffered from and do still now to some degree. I think that it has improved since losing weight and since I made the connection with why I became obese and my childhood.

In a way, by diagnosing myself I have been able to accept that I have not been rational about my appearance and although I did become obese (I felt I was anyway so gave up taking care of myself, due to the dysmorphia), if I had not had this weird psychological problem, I may never have actually put on the weight.

But now I see that I will NEVER see myself as I really am... which in a way has led to me thinking that maybe now I have reached this point, it's the time to stop 'dieting' and instead take control of my life, my mind AND my body, by trying to be 'normal' and stay healthy as everyone else does, instead of being constantly on a diet or a 'plan'.

I dont know if that would be the route to disaster though.

Its safe to say I'm quite confused right now... any advice is VERY welcome!!

xxx

 

[Sarah_V]

Hi wannabslim, I know I have gone on about this before on other threads, but if you were saying your arm hurt and you thought you'd broken it I'd advise you to go to the doctor so he could x-ray it and 'fix' it - so... in my opinion, for what it is worth, I would advise therapy, someone specialising in body dismorphia and or eating disorders, I have had some therapy and it has been life saving, as soon as my husband finds work I am going to get some more to help me come to terms with my weight loss..

I hope this helps, I know therapy isn't for everyone and there are many different kinds, but when we become so damaged from our past sometimes we need help to unravel it all... or we unravel oursleves....

If it is any consolation whenever I visit my mum or dad (they are divorced) I come away feeling confused, fed up, guilty and angry.. and I used to eat all of that confusion, I'm trying not to now and that means we have to deal with the pain..

Don't get me wrong, my parents were/are OK I didn't come from a particularly abusive home, dysfuncional though, yes! But they were scared of me becoming a woman and were rubbish at making me feel good about myself.. so like you I tried to become invisible by just not bothering..

Wow that all sounds very 'heavy' it's been very cathartic though

 

[wannabslim]

Thanks for responding hun glad it's been helpful for you too. I do think I will mention it next time I go to see my GP but I dont have the cash to go private and dont get time off work for appts so unless I can get free support outside of work hours it'll have to wait.

As far as the diet goes, I'm not sure where to go from here. This is the most confusing thing for me at the moment!

xx

 

[Sarah_V]

BACP Seeking a therapist - Welcome!

The GP is a good idea but the waiting lists are v long

Above is a link for BCAP therapist's, some do reduced rates and most do evenings or weekends. I hope that helps.

As far as being confused, just continue to do what you have been doing, it has worked for you and you have had amazing results. So just for today, do what you've been doing

Plus we're all here to let all that frustration out... writing/typing it all out is great therapy

 

[Lostris]

Hiiii wannabeslim,

My dad has always been telling me what your mum told you (judging from your post) and he was negative about my weight when I was on a very good weight with BMI 23. I totally understand how you feel, I swear, because when I was into CD for 2 weeks my dad complimented me and I had to cry!!!! He said he was proud of me and proud I was sticking to the diet etc etc... I was so happy with his compliments! I think those are the best kind ;-) I'm really glad your mum was sweet to you and cooked 810foods for you! Very considerate of her and I'm sure it made you appreciate her a lot more (if that's possible???).

Also, if I can be so blunt, I think it might be worth looking into some form of therapy / help or whatever you need to make you feel better. I'm in therapy for something completely different, it sucks a lot of the time but it does help. Again, sorry to be blunt!

@ Tracy: Yes!! Guys always are like; ewwwww chick movie.. but when they're on and they're funny they still laugh )) They're fuuuuuunny!! Guys are totally weird!

(Btw is it okay I'm posting here coz ... well I'm not really in the thread as much though I do hope to lose 1,5-2 stone for Christmas I really suck at keeping track:$$$ Sorry to ask!! Just don't want to intrude on you guys!!!)

xxx
Lostris

 

[wannabslim]

Thanks Lostris, it's so good to know I'm not alone in this and there are other people such as you and Sarah who understand how I feel. I think I will def. look into some therapy when I can.

As for the diet, I just worry that the longer I do this now, the more messed up I'm getting. I don't FEEL normal doing this, it doesnt feel right, yet I continue because deep down I'm not happy with the way I look. But the question is, will I ever be happy with the way I look? AND, by doing this diet when I am a healthy, fit size 12-14 woman, am I making my problems worse?? Should I go back to WW? Should I stop dieting altogether and get back to my healthy gym and eating habits of earlier in the year (I lost weight, felt great, but got impatient)??

I just don't know but what I do know is that what Im currently doing doesnt feel right or good...

 

[buffydog]

Hi guys, just wanted to say congrats wannab on the mum front, my mother was exactly the same, even commenting on the highest weight she has ever been was 10& half stone, this was when she was pregnant with me????? so she believes somehow that was me making her fat?????????
but recently i was with her & her mum, my nana & i noticed that my nana was the same with her, i think it my even have gone back further in the generations, my sister is the same too.
i dont think i was even overweight before they started on me

 

[Lostris]

Hi hon,

Maybe it helps if you make a 'pro's' and 'cons' list about this diet / losing weight / WW - diet?

I know it sounds silly but sometimes lists like this can really put things in perspective! In the end the only thing that's important is that you are happy with yourself. How you get happy.. well, it's up to you basically

I can understand what you're saying though. I doubt I'll be happy when I'm at my goal. People always find new bad things about themselves when they ''fix'' one thing.

You can always build up the steps a bit faster and work out more, or ... well you can do a lot of things ;-). It's all up to you really. The problem is, how do you make a choice when you don't know which path to choose to get to the right ending....

xxx

 

[wannabslim]

lol bless ya, like it was YOUR fault she put on weight?! How ridiculous!!!

yeah my gran is like it too, its weird isn't it how it passes through the generations. I just hope I dont end up doing it to my offspring if/when they appear!! my mum isnt chubby and was always a slim teen but she too is always worrying about looking fat and goes on diets periodically to shift the odd few lbs she may feel are making her look fat (the woman is 9.7 and the same height as me.... she COULD NOT look fat if she tried!!)

Lostris- lol my lists all have the same pros except the losses on CD are bigger, and the same cons except I can't eat on CD! So the CD extra con and pro put the 2 on the same level!!

Youre right about the path thingy. I just wish I knew xx

 

[Sarah_V]

Hiiii wannabeslim,

My dad has always been telling me what your mum told you (judging from your post) and he was negative about my weight when I was on a very good weight with BMI 23. I totally understand how you feel, I swear, because when I was into CD for 2 weeks my dad complimented me and I had to cry!!!! He said he was proud of me and proud I was sticking to the diet etc etc... I was so happy with his compliments! I think those are the best kind ;-) I'm really glad your mum was sweet to you and cooked 810foods for you! Very considerate of her and I'm sure it made you appreciate her a lot more (if that's possible???).

Also, if I can be so blunt, I think it might be worth looking into some form of therapy / help or whatever you need to make you feel better. I'm in therapy for something completely different, it sucks a lot of the time but it does help. Again, sorry to be blunt!

@ Tracy: Yes!! Guys always are like; ewwwww chick movie.. but when they're on and they're funny they still laugh )) They're fuuuuuunny!! Guys are totally weird!

(Btw is it okay I'm posting here coz ... well I'm not really in the thread as much though I do hope to lose 1,5-2 stone for Christmas I really suck at keeping track:$$$ Sorry to ask!! Just don't want to intrude on you guys!!!)

xxx
Lostris

Of course you can post on here Lostris - more the merrier I reckon

Wannabslim, it sounds like you've had an emotionally heavy weekend, so I wouldn't make any decisions now about the future right now.. Be like Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow xxxx

 

[Lostris]

Of course you can post on here Lostris - more the merrier I reckon

Hihi, okay! Thanks :$ Was just a tad worried there!!!

xxx

 

[buffydog]

i`m the same with cd at the moment, doesn`t feel normal situation.
why not just spend like 3-4 days doing each plan and get yourself back up to eating normally, as i`ve been told the steps upwards are just as important as losing weight.
i guess like me your not in a rush anymore as it`s so little that is left, but this is the important bit, where it could all go wrong

 

[buffydog]

all my family are the same, stick thin and always complaining about being fat????????
i try and hide diet stuff from kids, dont mention too much about weight etc, really dont want this attitude carrying on.

 

[wannabslim]

you're right hun, thats why I've done 810 (with a small addition of cheese- oops) this week, as I knew deep down I couldt continue with SS. I guess if I switch to WW from 810 I would only be consuming an extra 200-300 calories so should be ok to move from one to the other as long as i'm careful with carbs. But if I do 1000 for a few days to be on the safe side.... should be ok? x

 

[Lostris]

Lostris- lol my lists all have the same pros except the losses on CD are bigger, and the same cons except I can't eat on CD! So the CD extra con and pro put the 2 on the same level!!

Youre right about the path thingy. I just wish I knew xx

Ohhh haha. Bye to the pro-cons list then ahah. Ummmmm. I'll think up something really amazing... (*cough*)

Wouldn't we all like to know where our current paths and other potential paths lead us ;-) Would make choosing SO much easier haha,

xx

all my family are the same, stick thin and always complaining about being fat????????
i try and hide diet stuff from kids, dont mention too much about weight etc, really dont want this attitude carrying on.

Well, same here.. sorta. My mum wasn't but is now but my sisters are all at BMI 21/22 or something and they look AMAZING... and say they're fat all the time :$

It used to frustrate me a lot but then I understood... when I was at a good weight I whined about being fat too, all the time. You always find something ''wrong'' with you and most women/girls are very critical of theirselves while they're a lot less critical of others..

Tough!

xxx