wannabslim
Gold Member
Good evening angels!!
Well, I'm back from my weekend with my mum (dad was away) and had a lovely time. She made me 810 meals and made sure I was good - kept me busy and I had no time to think about food or feel hungry... apart from when they had (FOOD ALERT) a roast today and I couldnt have the tatties, parsnips,carrots or gravy it was hard but I tried to stay positive.
I dont know if you've ever seen my diary or anything about my mum, but she has always been very blunt about my weight and seems to think that I was a chubby child (which I wasnt), and it gave me a complex as I was growing up. Through my teens and into my twenties she still would make remarks that hurt, even though she would hate to upset me and would be mortified if she knew.
So, with all this in mind, the fact that she looked me up and down (literally) yesterday, knowing I was on CD and said after about 3 mins of just standing there staring at me....
"Gosh Nick, you look SO much better.... SO much better.... I can't believe the difference.... gosh."
Now that, from my mum, is like THE BIGGEST compliment ever. Might sound strange to you guys but it meant the world to me and made me realise that now I really MUST look OK (even though I dont feel it inside, I know that I have some kind of body dismorphia so I will never probably truly feel it, unless I seek some sort of help... dismorphia caused by my childhood). But, as I was saying, if my MUM can say that about me, it MUST mean I'm nearly there. She would never flatter or compliment me, and I'm pretty sure there was a massive compliment hidden in what she said.
Sorry to ramble but I feel something inside me has changed this weekend. At last, I feel proud to be my mums daughter, and she is happy to be seen with me. At last, I feel 'normal', even though my BMI isn't quite there, who cares???
Its sad but true, but this is the first time I've ever felt like my mum really accepts me inside AND out (I know inside she would always love me for being me, but she didn't like the way I looked).
I've gone on long enough, sorry but I needed to get this out and here seemed the best place.
Thanks Angels xxx
Well, I'm back from my weekend with my mum (dad was away) and had a lovely time. She made me 810 meals and made sure I was good - kept me busy and I had no time to think about food or feel hungry... apart from when they had (FOOD ALERT) a roast today and I couldnt have the tatties, parsnips,carrots or gravy it was hard but I tried to stay positive.
I dont know if you've ever seen my diary or anything about my mum, but she has always been very blunt about my weight and seems to think that I was a chubby child (which I wasnt), and it gave me a complex as I was growing up. Through my teens and into my twenties she still would make remarks that hurt, even though she would hate to upset me and would be mortified if she knew.
So, with all this in mind, the fact that she looked me up and down (literally) yesterday, knowing I was on CD and said after about 3 mins of just standing there staring at me....
"Gosh Nick, you look SO much better.... SO much better.... I can't believe the difference.... gosh."
Now that, from my mum, is like THE BIGGEST compliment ever. Might sound strange to you guys but it meant the world to me and made me realise that now I really MUST look OK (even though I dont feel it inside, I know that I have some kind of body dismorphia so I will never probably truly feel it, unless I seek some sort of help... dismorphia caused by my childhood). But, as I was saying, if my MUM can say that about me, it MUST mean I'm nearly there. She would never flatter or compliment me, and I'm pretty sure there was a massive compliment hidden in what she said.
Sorry to ramble but I feel something inside me has changed this weekend. At last, I feel proud to be my mums daughter, and she is happy to be seen with me. At last, I feel 'normal', even though my BMI isn't quite there, who cares???
Its sad but true, but this is the first time I've ever felt like my mum really accepts me inside AND out (I know inside she would always love me for being me, but she didn't like the way I looked).
I've gone on long enough, sorry but I needed to get this out and here seemed the best place.
Thanks Angels xxx