Kob
Member
Today's the day. 1st February 2021. Time to hit the reset button on my relationship with eating.
I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I'm constantly out of breath, I've a ruptured meniscus in my left knee, plantar fasciitis in my right foot and despite trying my damndest to own being a big girl, the reality is my health is really suffering now. I know I'm quickly becoming less mobile because everything hurts and it's just too much effort to haul this body round.
I love food. I love cooking. I love eating. Increasingly though I'm just eating for the sake of eating. Anything so long as it's no hassle to cook. I can't even be bothered to think about what to cook. I'm so tired of it all and yet I can't stop eating. I've been here before. At this point where I feel I'm spiraling. Cambridge was my go to then. Take food and all the associated (for me) drama out of the equation. Learn to love food again for the right reasons. Repair my relationship with eating. So here I am again.
I feel driven and ready but also nervous and a little fearful. I'm hoping that keeping a diary here will help me by sharing my thoughts, and maybe help others too. I'll try and check in every night but may pop back during the days too, especially during the first few days which I expect may be a little bit rough. I've weighed myself, taken my measurements and will take photos later today when I'm looking a little less "just rolled out of bed".
1:1 Cambridge Step 1...here I come!
I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I'm constantly out of breath, I've a ruptured meniscus in my left knee, plantar fasciitis in my right foot and despite trying my damndest to own being a big girl, the reality is my health is really suffering now. I know I'm quickly becoming less mobile because everything hurts and it's just too much effort to haul this body round.
I love food. I love cooking. I love eating. Increasingly though I'm just eating for the sake of eating. Anything so long as it's no hassle to cook. I can't even be bothered to think about what to cook. I'm so tired of it all and yet I can't stop eating. I've been here before. At this point where I feel I'm spiraling. Cambridge was my go to then. Take food and all the associated (for me) drama out of the equation. Learn to love food again for the right reasons. Repair my relationship with eating. So here I am again.
I feel driven and ready but also nervous and a little fearful. I'm hoping that keeping a diary here will help me by sharing my thoughts, and maybe help others too. I'll try and check in every night but may pop back during the days too, especially during the first few days which I expect may be a little bit rough. I've weighed myself, taken my measurements and will take photos later today when I'm looking a little less "just rolled out of bed".
1:1 Cambridge Step 1...here I come!