Advice Needed!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Lana, 20 February 2007 Social URL.

  1. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    Sorry for long post but here goes:

    We get married in Italy on 25th May this year and I'd like to be at goal by then (another 2.5st), however, we are guests at a wedding (H2B's work colleague) and have been invited all day and we've already accepted the invite. I am I bad for eating the wedding meal then continuing the following day with LL. As all H2B's work colleagues will be there, I need to make a good impression as he's their boss! :sigh:

    As if thats not bad enough, we've already booked my hen weekend for 14th Apr in London, hotel rooms are paid for and non-refundable. I don't see my Mum, Sister etc who are coming from further North very much so it'll be nice to relax and enjoy a glass of wine. Am I bad for planning to enjoy my hen weekend whilst trying to maintain my current weight loss then continuing until my wedding with LL.

    Once we return from our 2 weeks in Italy I'd then like to start on Maintenance.

    What would you do in my situation??:confused:

    Thankyou
     
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  3. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Hi Lana

    Congrats on the wedding! LL does really interfere with your social life and some sacrifces have to made if you want to be at your goal weight. All the people who have been successful on this diet have remained 100% abstinence, although I have read posts from others who have not and still managed to get back on it straight away.

    I think it depends on you and whether you will be able to get straight back on it again afterwards, in the end it would only delay you reaching your goal.

    I don't think you are bad for planning a few days off the diet to enjoy the build up to your wedding, it is totally understandable, just perhaps try to stick to healthy choices rather than having a blow out so you could minimise the damage.

    How long have you been on LL?

    PS where in South Yorkshire are you from - I am from Doncaster!
     
  4. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    Im live in Doncaster too although Im originally from Whitehaven in Cumbria! :D

    I certainly woundn't have a blow out, couldn't ever imagine doing that again! My Mum recently lost 4 stone too and is now mega healthy so we'd choose healthier choices. I don't want to eat junk as I want to try and maintain the weight loss and continue the following day!

    I'll certainly find it easy to get back on track as I really want to be at goal for my wedding! :)
     
  5. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    If you want my honest opinion ... DON'T!!

    I'm one of these who came off the wagon and have struggled for a year - yes a year to get back on.

    You have the ultimate never (hopefully!!) to be repeated goal of your wedding day.

    Go to the wedding day and either do SS or eat only chicken/fish with veg or salad (I see you are LL - but CD 790plan meal would work by not taking you out of ketosis)

    Hope I've not upset you - but honestly with your wedding sooooo close I'd not do anything to make yourself lose the plot!

    Best wishes for your wedding day too!
     
  6. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    You've not upset me, I asked for advice from everyone and your just giving yours. Unfortunately, the chicken I cannot do as I cant request it at someones wedding, it will be a sit down meal for all. I wouldnt do pudding anyway as Im not a pudding person.

    I'll just have to up my water and go back to the gym and hope for a bigger weight loss each week to get me there.

    Thanks for your advice anyway. :D
     
  7. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Cumbria!!!! Gosh it's georgous there, however did you end up in donny!!!!! :D :D :D

    I really do empathise with your situation and as flirty said she has taken so long to get back on the wagon (so to speak). I am really struggling with it at the moment so I am possibly not the best person to give advice as I would give anything to eat right now.

    Only you can decide, but flirty's advice on going on veg/chicken & fish sounds good - keep yourself in ketosis - but that means no wine :(

    Let me know how you get on & what you decide to do.

    x
     
  8. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    I met my H2B and he's from Donny.

    Cumbria is a beautiful place but there wasnt a great deal work wise so I knew I would eventually move to Donny.

    I just wish I hadn't booked anything (I'd booked it all before starting even thinking of LL). I'd rather not go on my hen weekend but all the others would lose their money too and the other wedding......I just feel so helpless as its an important colleague of my H2B.

    I'll keep you updated!

    Ps Im only on day 8 and really struggled in the first few days, I still am to be honest. When I smell food or cook for H2B, I think 'what would me eating this achieve'. The answer is 'nothing but leave me feeling fat and ashamed.

    Stick with it skinny and it'll be worth it in the end! :D
     
  9. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    I met my H2B and he's from Donny.

    Cumbria is a beautiful place but there wasnt a great deal work wise so I knew I would eventually move to Donny.

    I just wish I hadn't booked anything (I'd booked it all before starting even thinking of LL). I'd rather not go on my hen weekend but all the others would lose their money too and the other wedding......I just feel so helpless as its an important colleague of my H2B.

    I'll keep you updated!

    Ps Im only on day 8 and really struggled in the first few days, I still am to be honest. When I smell food or cook for H2B, I think 'what would me eating this achieve'. The answer is 'nothing but leave me feeling fat and ashamed.

    Stick with it skinny and it'll be worth it in the end! :D
     
  10. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Hi

    I was doing really well, actually found it quite easy (on day 47) until this weekend and now I feel like I cannot carry on - I am so desperate to eat. :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

    With the wedding, just eat everything but the carbs, so if it is a traditional roast type meal eat the meat & veg but leave out the potatoes, try to stick to water instead of wine. It may work!

    I really do admire those people who can go on holiday and stick to the diet without lapsing - that does take alot of determination & willpower. If you are on day 8 then you will not have started the transactional anaylsis yet, this may give you some help in dealing with these types of issues.
     
  11. joh117

    joh117 Full Member

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    Hi

    I am reading through your post and all that sticks in my mind is you are going to the wedding as a guest but you are only planning on eating as a fear of upsetting someone. This comes into one of the child ego states (cant remember which one) that we covered in about week 3.

    Since that week I now try and make rational adult decisions and if I was you I would not eat at the wedding but stick to the water, soup (could you not ask the hotel staff to make it for you, tell the wedding party it is a special diet the doctor has put you on for whatever reason) at the end of the day you want to reach your goal for your own wedding day and this has to be more important than pleasing others.

    Put yourself first, as for drinking on your hen do maybe discuss this with your LLC there must be something you can have in small amounts that wont knock you out of Ketosis, you will only get one wedding day.

    You may find nearer the time to these events your mindset changes. I worried like hell about a month holiday to Sri Lanka booked to fall in the 100days. I go in 4 wks time and there is no way I am breaking this diet, I will get to go again once I am slim and can eat all the food in the world. I am likely to upset all my husbands family by not eating at their homes but I dont care that is their problem not mine. My health and well being is far more important to me than pleasing other people as far as food is concerned.

    God listen to me going on I should get back to work loads to do

    Whatever you decide will be right for you

    Jo

    PS A glass of sparkling water can look like a gin and tonic/vodka and lemonade!!!
     
  12. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    Wow day 47, you've gone so far. Whats your weight loss to date? Im sure it will get easier but I can't say I understand how you feel as Im only on day 8.

    I do hope, that the further on I go on LL the more I'll be able to cope with the issues heading my way. I do also admire the ones who can stick to it whilst away! I just don't go anywhere!

    Do you go to Vivienne's class in Warmsworth?
     
  13. pandora

    pandora finding my way again !

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    i would just re-iterate what the others have said
    1 - stick to meat n veg, stay clear of the carbs, you can do this dicreetly.
    2 - drink water, say you can't do alcohol cos on antibiotics if you have to justify your choice of drink.
    3 - if you HAVE to have alcohol, Vodka is the least harmful (carb, cal & fat) with a diet mixer
    most importantly HAVE FUN
    food & drink DO NOT make the occasion, the company you are in DOES
    xx:)
     
  14. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Hi (lol) I don't go anywhere either - I will be very surprised if I have any friends left after this, as I keep turning down invitations and avoiding everyone.

    I will be a skinny-no-mates (lolol)

    I have lost 32lbs so far (weigh in tomorrow) I go to Marie in Finningley - I live in westwoodside so it is down the road from where I live.

    I am really pleased with how well Ihave done so far and like I said was finding it ok, the worst part is other people and having to explain, I have just avoided people all together!!!! This weekend has been awful - it may be because I am nearing the half way mark -I really don't know, all I know is I could happily kill someone for food!!!!!

    Joh117 makes some really good points, but you may learn all that when you get to that stage in your meetings.

    Fingers crossed for you.
     
  15. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    Hi lana

    May I just add, day 8 is very early on in the programme and your attitude will vary so much as the weeks tick by. I would not even think about the upcoming events until you get nearer the time hun. You will see dramatic results over the next few weeks that it may inspire you to make the decision to continue with LL what ever the occasion. I know there were some events I was dreading and my chatterbox (you will earn all about this) at the begining was driving me mad as I was telling myself there was no way I could go to these events and not eat/drink!! I did go, didn't eat/drink, had a great time and felt so so pleased withmyself it was un true.

    I would, if you can, put the events to the back of your mind, the goals you want to achieve and your wedding at the front and deal with situations as they arise.

    Good luck with whaever you choose to do...hope i have helped a little:)

    Toots xxx

    PS Drinking any alcohol while in Ketosis is VERY dangerous xxx
     
  16. Pixie

    Pixie Silver Member

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    Hi Lana,

    Have you decided what to do yet?
     
  17. sukie sue

    sukie sue this is My time to shine!

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    no way !!!
    i live in whitehaven , didnt think anyone anywhere in the world knew where that was let alone come from here !!!!!
     
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  19. sukie sue

    sukie sue this is My time to shine!

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    hia lana,
    just reading your post ,
    like you i had allot of social functions coming up which fell in the ll 100 days and in the beginig i decided to take off time at xmas (lots of family here from sweden)also i had a trip to center parcs followed by an all inclusive holiday in egypt too which i planned to eat on, but you know what the closer those events came the less i wanted to break this fabulous feeling of loosing the weight so steadly and rapidly,so xmas came (many partys , buffets and diners ) and i told hubby i really wanted to abstain and he spoke to his family and explained what i was doing and why and asked them to not make me feel self consious with negative comments ,anyway , they were sooo great , understood and supported me , mainly asking questions of a very interested nature, so that was fine , and as for the partys i took my 2 litres of sparkling water with my flavouring pre mixed and my freinds just kept it in the fridge out of the way, i just circulated witha plate of crumbs and bits of food my little one was nibbling on,the important people who matter knew but who can be arsed explaning it all to a bunch of people that you dont know !!:eek: and who would probably give you grief.anyway i am really ramblin now , the long and short was that i did manage to abstain for my 100 days and have now just gone into developers for the last stone off before going to management and im trying to tell you (in a very roundabout way ) that it gets sooo easy , you get so confident with you and what you need right now , the rest just melts away allong with the chatterbox in your head that is convising you right now that you cant go and just not eat , you do what is right for you , and moving the food around your plate is especially missleading to others , ( i just sat in casa romanos last friday and played with a salad while my hubby ate pizza , some of my salad and chips and no one noiced that i didnt eat a thing( believe me i know the manager he would have commented):D , i had a great night as i have before and since with freinds while i drink my flavoured water and they eat nachos and get drunk!!!! i have learned that a social engagement is just that , qualty time with the people you love and care about the food and drink will not change that i promise you.xxxx
    love sue
     
  20. New-Me

    New-Me can do it this time!

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    hi all
    Lana - I had echoed your concerns at the start, but Sukie Sue your last thread is so helpful and really inspirational too - as are Amanda Jayne's diary and lots of other threads on this site.

    don't know how people survive LL without the support from this site at all!!!!
     
  21. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    Hi Pixie,

    I haven't decided yet but as the others have said, its very early on, Im only on day 9 and my attitude will probably change alot before these hurdles.

    Im going to speak to the bride of the wedding were going to and tell her I have dietary requirements and need to eat chicken n veg, no wine, starter or dessert. I don't think she'll mind as it will cost her less for my place! That way if I do decide to eat, I can hopefully keep myself into Ketosis!

    How are you getting on by the way? Im struggling with the soups now also, 1st few days were fine now they make me sick so Im just having shakes and a bar each day. :D
     
  22. Lana

    Lana Full Member

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    Wow Sukie Sue where abouts do you live? I lived on Wellington Row beside St James, Junior School although my family have now moved to Workington. I've met a lot of people here who have visited Whitehaven!

    I really do hope I feel the way you do now and get through these events! Im sure I will, Im just a born worrier!

    Even though Im only on day 9, I don't think I would have survived without this forum, everyone are so inspirational, its amazing so thanks everyone! :D
     
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