ayembee's diary

[ayembee]

Day 80 fri 01/12

The funeral of our friends 18 year old son was today, I can't even describe how sad that was, so emotional, I don't want to even write about it here.

I had two vodkas one with lime and soda and one with soda, two chicken drumsticks without skin, one peanut bar and just had a warm vanilla shake, not much water today though.

I popped into see my sis afterwards and she said I looked nice, but I need to stop wearing clothes that are far too big for me and my trousers were far too big now, I laughed and said I bought these yesterday and they are a size 14!! she said take them back, way too big on the hips and bum and legs, the only place they fit is on the waist.

I bloody hate clothes shopping, I thought it would be great to shop for clothes in a smaller size but I am no good at it, No idea what suits or fits,
so I said to my sis I will be wearing these trousers until they fall down without undoing them.

 

[ayembee]

day 82 sunday 03/12

I've had quite a lazy weekend, not done very much at all, the diet's going well and I am resisting all temptations,

not eating the bars every day really seems to be making a difference but I'm not going to jinx it by saying how much I've lost so far this week cos still got 4 days to do before next weigh in.
I put some clothes on ebay yesterday, if they go well I might put some more up but it took me ages to sort out, I will put a link here incase anyone wants a look!

eBay Seller: bluecoffee cup: Women's Clothing, Sim Cards items on eBay.co.uk

I have been using my slendertone belt everyday, once my son figured out how to get it going and showed me what to do.
I have had today:
one warm choc shake with philly husks
one strawb mousse
fizzy water only about 2 litres
will have a vegetable soup this evening
oh well I better go do the ironing xx

 

[ayembee]

day 83 monday 04/12

I ordered a swimsuit for my hols and it arrived today, I expected to look awful in it but not as awful as it did in reality. I don't want to go on holiday anymore. I'm never going to be slim in time.. boo hoo!

I went xmas shopping today and came home with one pressie, I have done most of it online so it's not too bad.

I wanted to get myself a coat or jacket but couldn't find anything I liked, but I did buy some black lacy thermal underwear from M&S, a vest and long johns to wear under my work uniform cos it's been SO cold there.

I'm going out with the girls from work for our xmas 'do' on sat night and have no idea what to wear yet, I am looking forward to it even though I will break my diet, I'm having a meal I won't eat the potatoes though and I will be drinking (not too much ) but we will have a laugh and a bit of a dance. I think I will have a look and see if asda has anything nice to wear in.

 

[ayembee]

start 15st 8lbs
week one - 2.5lbs 15st 5.5lbs
week two + 1 lb 15st 6.5lbs
week three - 3 lbs 15st 3.5lbs
week 3.5 -3lbs 15st 0.5lbs cut out carbs

started cd ss thurs 14th sept weigh in day will now be thursdays not mondays

week 1 -8lbs 14st 6.5lbs
week 2 -5.5lbs 14st 1lb
week 3 -2lbs 13st 13lbs
week 4 -4lbs 13st 9lbs
week 5 -5lbs 13st 4lbs AAM WEEK
week 6 -2.5lbs 13st 1.5lbs
week 7 -2lbs 12st 13.5lbs
week 8 -3lbs 12st 10.5lbs
week 9 -1.5lbs 12st 9lbs
week 10 -2.5lbs 12st 6.5lbs AAM WEEK
week 11 -2lbs 12st 4.5lbs
week 12 -3lbs 12st 1.5lbs

29.5lbs to go..
__________________
http://www.extrapounds.com/
Day 84 thursday 07/12

I'm still in the 12's, I am hoping I'll get to the 11's next week, but am out on sat night (eating & drinking) for xmas 'do' so not sure how much damage that will do, but it's a good incentive to not go mad.

I was trying not to eat the bars and see if I lost more weight, I think I would have done but I had used up all my packs and just left myself with only bars for a day and a half, I'm so stoopid!
But have seen my cdc and stocked up now and i didn't buy any bars this time,

I bought a new coat today from Hennes, long brown padded one, nice and warm, but my hubby's reaction was' why did you get a padded one? it's a nice coat but makes you look big' !!!***!! why can't men learn to keep their gobs shut,
I bundled the coat back into the bag and he's put me off it now and put me in a mood too, I don't know why cos I don't care what he thinks anyway.
Also have not heard a thing from blockbusters about the job which has done my ego no end of good to know I couldn't even get a job in blockbusters!! would have been nice to even recieve an acknowledgement that I had taken the time and trouble to attend an interview, so glad I didn't tell the whole world I was going there for an interview, only you lot!!

 

[ayembee]

Its sunday 10/12 day 87

I have the hangover from hell, I can't remember ever feeling so bad, lesson learned don't drink on a vlcd.
I want to go back to bed but hubby has no sympathy and wants me to get showered and dressed so we can go out, he's so cruel.
one consolation is although I ate some food and drank the pub dry, the scales are being ever so nice to me they say I've lost weight and am now in the 11's! if they still say that tomorrow morning I'll believe them.

 

[ayembee]

day 88 monday 11/12

Feeling slightly more alive today. my stomach is still very fragile though, but I wasn't the only one to suffer so I'm not such a light weight, well at drinking anyway.

I might have a glass of wine on xmas day but thats it for the time being.

The scales are still saying i'm 11st something which is brill.

I wore skinny jeans yesterday! my daughter bought them for me, size 14, it must sound so pathetic but a couple of months ago I was feeling huge and depressed in my comfy size 20 jeans, so it is a major achievement to be able to wear skinny jeans,
I still felt that people would look at me and be thinking 'what does she think she looks like' cos I know I've still got a long way to go,
but no one seemed to take any notice of me and no one fell about laughing at the sight of me so I can't have looked that bad!
But I don't intend staying in a size 14 for long, I'm just passing through on my way to a 12!! It would be a lot easier if christmas was cancelled though.

 

[ayembee]

in the 11's at last!!

day 91 thursday 14/12

Not only have I unexpectedly got 2 days off work as they had to shut the place (building probs) yippee, but I am in the 11's finally!! and I have hit the 50lb mark too (51.5lb)!!!!

I feel like having a celebration bacon sarnie breakfast but I will stick to nettle tea and fizzy water lol.

I am going to give the house a bit of a blitz and put the tree up today if my son will oblige and get the xmas stuff out of the loft, then tonight I will wrap all the presents.

I have the avon stuff arriving today as well so I can get that sorted out too, it might be the last avon delivery, I've decided not to do it any more, it's been such a hassle.

 

[ayembee]

day 93 sat 16/12

Its hard to believe that in 7 more days I will have done 100 days on cd!
It's so hard to imagine getting to day 100 when you first start out but the time has whizzed by very quickly.

I have had the inlaws here today and had lots of compliments about my weight loss, which was nice, but strangely enough felt very stressed today and very hungry,

I ate a cold sausage from the fridge and felt full or remorse but still went back for the half a sausage left in the fridge, I have no idea why I did it and I'm not going to stress over it

But I know that even after 93 days of cd, my old eating habits are still there, waiting in the wings, I'm just denying them power by not eating food, the only thing thats changed is I've lost weight, but food still has a huge grip on me and it's scary,
Even watching something on tv, if they're sitting at the breakfast table acting away, my eyes are on the toast and jam!

Food has been such a huge part of my life, not just eating it but I cook for a living all day, draw up menus, ordering supplies etc, trying out recipes,and cooking for my family has always been a big deal to me, even entertaining has always centred around food one way or another, days/nights out always involve eating out, by not eating I feel that I'm not taking part and am left on the edge of things on my own.

How do you make food not such a big deal?

I am determined that this is the last time I have to lose weight, I will see this diet through to the end ( god willing and I can afford it) and learn the maintenance, then I will follow a healthy GI programme forever if I have to.

Saying that I have not decided what to do about christmas yet, I don't think I can bear to ss all over xmas, I will probably AAM on xmas week, but haven't decided what I will eat on xmas day yet, I know if I was living alone I could just ss and be done with it all, no temptation then, but I'm not deciding yet because thats just putting pressure on.

I'm waffling on and on and boring myself now so I'm off to watch x factor again.

 

[ayembee]

day 95 monday 18/12

I am doing really crap this week, I am dreading weigh in day cos i'm sure to put on weight, I feel really fat and bloated too.
I keep nibbling ham/ cold chicken and I have been invited to a dinner on weds night and have accepted cos she knows what diet i'm on, but I don't know what she's cooking and I don't want to make a huge fuss about it either, I shouldn't have accepted the invite really but at the time I thought I would be further along than i am right now.
I'll probably have all my packs before i go then just pick a little at the food when I get there, I've offered to drive the others so I won't be drinking.
There is just so much food around right now and chocolates everywhere you look at work.
I haven't had enough water I am struggling to get it down right now too.
I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have any spare weeks to mess about, I should stick to the plan and lose 3lb a week to get where I want to be by feb 17th.

 

[ayembee]

start 15st 8lbs
week one - 2.5lbs 15st 5.5lbs
week two + 1 lb 15st 6.5lbs
week three - 3 lbs 15st 3.5lbs
week 3.5 -3lbs 15st 0.5lbs cut out carbs

started cd ss thurs 14th sept weigh in day will now be thursdays not mondays

week 1 -8lbs 14st 6.5lbs
week 2 -5.5lbs 14st 1lb
week 3 -2lbs 13st 13lbs
week 4 -4lbs 13st 9lbs
week 5 -5lbs 13st 4lbs AAM WEEK
week 6 -2.5lbs 13st 1.5lbs
week 7 -2lbs 12st 13.5lbs
week 8 -3lbs 12st 10.5lbs
week 9 -1.5lbs 12st 9lbs
week 10 -2.5lbs 12st 6.5lbs AAM WEEK
week 11 -2lbs 12st 4.5lbs
week 12 -3lbs 12st 1.5lbs
week 13 -3lbs 11st 12.5lbs
week 14 -0lbs 11st 12.5lbs

26.5lbs to go..

total lost 51.5lbs (44lb on cd and 7.5lb before cd)

I stayed exactly the same this week, but I have been out to dinner and have nibbled at bits and pieces in between SSing so I'm lucky not to have put on weight, I am just trying to limit the damge now and get xmas out of the way.
__________________

Day 99 friday 22/12

The scales have moved down 1lb today which is good, hoping to stay on track now till xmas day at least,

I'm pretty sure I am not going to be able to afford to cd in january so I have to start thinking about what I'm going to do to lose the rest of my weight, I have been thinking about low gi diet but I find it complicated, I don't want to go back to eating carbs if I can help it, is low gi the same as low carb?
If I just ate mainly white meat or fish and the veg/salads that cd allow (bigger portions) would I stay in ketosis? I could probably eat low fat /sugar free yoghurt for breakfast.
Lots to think about anyway.
got lots of ironing to do today to get it out of the way for christmas and a bit of housework to keep me busy.

 

[ayembee]

day 100!!

DAY 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sat 23/12

Woohoo! finally got to day 100 and I've just sat down with a cup of soup and a quick browse on here,

I have baked cheesecakes this morning, a friend gave me the recipe and said she had this cheesecake at a dinner party a couple of weeks ago and it was the best she'd ever had so she got the recipe and I thought I'd do it for us for xmas day, well I bought too much of the ingredients and have made 2 big ones and four smaller ones to give away, I haven't tasted it so I hope they turn out ok. it's low fat at least.

 

[ayembee]

day 102 weds 27/12
(I haven't counted xmas day or boxing day as didn't ss)

I took it very easy on the food on xmas day went a bit sillier boxing day morning but was back on the food packs by last night, I put on 2lbs, which I hope disappears quickly.

I am back ssing until I run out of packs and then I will be either weightwatching or F2 plan or I don't know what exactly, but money will be tight in january so cambridge is out of the question.

I had a nice xmas, got a new phone and 3 dvd boxed sets from hubby that I wanted, clothes and smellies and photo frames and candles from my kids and lots of other bits and peices from everyone else.
But christmas is over and I have a week before going back to work and I'm soooo bored now! I can't think of anything to do other than go shopping for something I don't need with money I can't afford to spend, I really don't know what to do with myself.

 

[ayembee]

day 106 sun 31/12

Blew it yesterday, was good all day, went to ikea with dd walked around for hours and hours it seemed, the weather was bad driving home from there dark and raining,
I had a slight headache all day which developed in to a full blown migraine with flashing lights the lot, I had a sleep for half an hour or so and woke up feeling sick, shaky and craving chocolate which I couldn't shake off, so i had 3 strawberry jaffa cakes,
it wasn't enough, later I had a couple of squares of chocolate then still later I had 5 heroes and a slice of cheese and some crackers, what's that all about?

I'm sure too it's all the foods that gave me the migraine in the first place. and I've still got a headache and can't face a shake this morning.

Never mind, it's done, I am not weighing myself until thursday. just got to get on with now, got to get to a size 12 before feb 17th somehow or I will be going to Goa with clothes a size too small lol!

 

[kati]

if I fall asleep in the daytime I always wake up ravenous, every time without fail. I usually dream of chips too for some reason.

And I have to say... strawberry jaffa cakes are just wrong! I think I tried some blackcurrant ones too they were awful. You cant beat the jaffa orangey bit in the middle, it's not to be messed with

 

[ayembee]

Thanks Nikki, and yes you're right jaffa cakes should be orange!


I have decided to resurrect my diary to help me keep a record of what i'm eating each week etc.
I'm not ss ing anymore but do have the occasional pack, I'm trying to follow a low carb plan and am trying to re introduce some carbs without putting on loads of weight, might of helped if I just read the yellow book.

weds
breakfast - poached egg and rasher grilled bacon

lunch - 100g plain chicken with salad leaves,5 black olives, half a tomato.

snack - mug of homemade courgette soup ( made from a minimin member's recipe! delicous, thanks!)

dinner- turkey mince with pesto and no carb noodles and mushrooms, mullerlite yogurt

naughty nibble- 2 slices corned beef
3 litres water

thurs

75g bran flakes and 4fl oz skimmed milk
(i should have had 32.5g cereal, stupid menu was for two people!)

lunch - chilli mackeral with baby salad leaves, 5 black olives, little cucumber and half tomato.
small portion of watermelon cubes

snack - 2 slices ham

dinner - low carb recipe - glazed balsamic chicken with cauliflower and broccolli, few mushrooms

snack - sugar free jelly( i'm going to eat this later on)
2 litres water
-----------------------------------------------

I only lost 1lb this week and that was by last sunday morning and that 1lb went on and off all week, I'm not going to fit in to my size 12 holiday clothes at this rate, my stomach is feeling bloated and huge at the moment, i'll drink extra water tomorrow and I AM going to start walking every evening, 30 mins brisk walking.
hubby gave up smoking yesterday (hooray!) but he's very grumpy and not my friend at the moment, bless him, I'll give it a week and he'll be back on the fags, but I hope not.

 

[Mini]

Love your food diary

Good for you getting out walking and can you drag hubby out along with you as it will help him with giving up smoking!

Love Mini xxx

 

[ayembee]

friday 12/01

breakfast - 35g all bran with skim milk, coffee

lunch - glazed balsamic chicken ( leftover from dinner) with baby salad leaves, 5 olives half tomato, chunks of cucumber.
little portion of watermelon.

snack - 2 plums, 1 slice ham

dinner - chicken chunks cooked in no fat greek yog / spoon of curry paste with green leafy salad and a wholemeal pitta, mullerlite yogurt.

water - only 2 litres
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks Mini, I am going for a walk now before I have my dinner, hubby has said he will come too(!) he prob feels guilty for snapping my head off and generally being such a grumpy old geezer, I told him to have a cig cos he's doing my flaming head in, ah well day 2 nearly over for him.

 

[ayembee]

saturday 13/12

breakfast - bran flakes, skim milk, 1 slice nimble bread with laughing cow lite cheese spread.

lunch - ham salad, 2 plums

dinner - chicken, steak, 2 onion rings, big bowl of mixed salad

snacked on, - pickled onions, ham, mullerlite yogurt


sunday 14/12

breakfast - fruit & fibre flakes, skim milk

lunch - roast pork, swede, carrot, peas, cabbage, parsnip, gravy. 2 plums

snack, mullerlite yogurt

coffee with skim milk and just about 2 litres water,

didn't do any walking since friday unless you count walking round a few shops, but hubby and I have planned to walk every night next week and the route, just have to make the time to do it now,
It was such a lovely day today, I would have loved to go walking somewhere but we had a guest for the weekend who can't do a lot of walking.
i checked my bmi today and its under thirty, 29.7 or .6 can't remember which now but i am officially simply overweight now and not obese!!it was 40 so thats good news. I hope to one day be normal lol

 

[kazz]

Yay for being only overweight!!! You are doing soooo well hun...keep on draggin the hubby out wit ye!

 

[ayembee]

monday 15/01

breakfast - poached egg. 2 rashers bacon

lunch - mackerel and salad

dinner - turkey steak, roasted vegetables and salad, 1/2 grapefruit.

snack - (saving it for later) sugarfree jelly and mullerlite yog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks Kazz, well done to you too, it feels good to 'only' be overweight doesn't it
good idea with your dress, might try that with a swimsuit, it might make me exercise a bit more cos it's only 33 days till I go on holiday and have to reveal all my wobbly flesh to the world.
We're off for our walk in a min, can't actually be bothered now as this is the first time I have sat down all day, but got to do it.