ProPoints Azwethinkweiz (Sarah)s new food diary!

[Dubchick81]

Hi hunnie.. how you feeling today? x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Sarah, glad to hear your mums ok .... its normal to have been how you were, we would all be the exact same .. you shoulda seen me when my mum got ambulanced into hospital after collapsing, i was a complete mess til i knew she was ok ... stay strong honey xxxx

Thanks hon. I was in bits all morning worrying about her but thankfully she's 100% phew! Xxx

Hi hunnie.. how you feeling today? x

I'm ok thanks hon. Had a tough session with the psychologist, was bawling and everything. He was nice though, I feel better now.
Working at home for the rest of the day. Ended up taking a pill to go to sleep last night because I just needed to rest, iykwim? I don't like to take em though.

How's you love? Any plans this weekend? X

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins

 

[Dubchick81]

Thanks hon. I was in bits all morning worrying about her but thankfully she's 100% phew! Xxx



I'm ok thanks hon. Had a tough session with the psychologist, was bawling and everything. He was nice though, I feel better now.
Working at home for the rest of the day. Ended up taking a pill to go to sleep last night because I just needed to rest, iykwim? I don't like to take em though.

How's you love? Any plans this weekend? X

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins

Aww sorry to hear you got so upset.. Although maybe it was a good thing? Sometimes you need a good auld breakdown to feel better.. I learned the hard way just after losing my mam.. I'd be putting on such a fake front that I was OK that every now n then I'd have a meltdown.. But I'd feel great after.. I soon learned to just go with it.. If I'm having a sh1t day, tell those around me to back off n leave me be, and hav that bad day.. usually didn't last half as long, wasn't as dramatic and no arguments or fallouts where had.. Whereas when i was acting OK everyone was getting the back end of it... it is hard tho... Learning to allow yourself a bad day...

I have NO plans and i'm gona enjoy them..
Jonathan has a match Saturday so I'll just chill out with my puppy

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Aww sorry to hear you got so upset.. Although maybe it was a good thing? Sometimes you need a good auld breakdown to feel better.. I learned the hard way just after losing my mam.. I'd be putting on such a fake front that I was OK that every now n then I'd have a meltdown.. But I'd feel great after.. I soon learned to just go with it.. If I'm having a sh1t day, tell those around me to back off n leave me be, and hav that bad day.. usually didn't last half as long, wasn't as dramatic and no arguments or fallouts where had.. Whereas when i was acting OK everyone was getting the back end of it... it is hard tho... Learning to allow yourself a bad day...

I have NO plans and i'm gona enjoy them..
Jonathan has a match Saturday so I'll just chill out with my puppy

I'm so used to the fake front that it's very hard. He asks how I am and I still say "fine" every single time lol! I feel like I can't say I've had a bad week - that I should be saying I'm much better etc. Do you know what I mean?
Now I have to write out everything I eat right after I eat it - every time I weigh myself - all my feelings around the eating (whats happening before/during/after) because I binge, get upset, binge, get upset, binge and it's a vicious circle. He's tried to convince me there was nothing wrong with my weight as I'm a healthy BMI and all that. Said I need to try to ignore opinions and focus on facts. It's interesting stuff - it's a lot of work.

Did you ever see anyone about how bad you felt after losing your Mum? Sounds like you had such a hard time of it hon - trying to keep that brave face and everything. You're so brave and strong, honest to god! x

I have that 10km run in Fingal on Sunday - I havent been running since last Saturday because I'm just so fed up with it - the running club is upping and upping the mileage and I'm getting really worn down. Expects us to run 20 miles a week at the moment and it'll get more and more as the weeks go on. I'm doing this 10km and a 4 mile run thing here in the town and then I might leave it and go back to doing my own thing!!

 

[Dubchick81]

I'm so used to the fake front that it's very hard. He asks how I am and I still say "fine" every single time lol! I feel like I can't say I've had a bad week - that I should be saying I'm much better etc. Do you know what I mean?
Now I have to write out everything I eat right after I eat it - every time I weigh myself - all my feelings around the eating (whats happening before/during/after) because I binge, get upset, binge, get upset, binge and it's a vicious circle. He's tried to convince me there was nothing wrong with my weight as I'm a healthy BMI and all that. Said I need to try to ignore opinions and focus on facts. It's interesting stuff - it's a lot of work.

Did you ever see anyone about how bad you felt after losing your Mum? Sounds like you had such a hard time of it hon - trying to keep that brave face and everything. You're so brave and strong, honest to god! x

I have that 10km run in Fingal on Sunday - I havent been running since last Saturday because I'm just so fed up with it - the running club is upping and upping the mileage and I'm getting really worn down. Expects us to run 20 miles a week at the moment and it'll get more and more as the weeks go on. I'm doing this 10km and a 4 mile run thing here in the town and then I might leave it and go back to doing my own thing!!

I went to 1 councelling session not long after yea.. It wasn't for me but thankfully I have great friends around me so I was able talk to them.. The 1 session was great in that I learned people will listen.. I just have to talk... But I do understand its not that simple for everyone.. I'm not brave or strong hun.. I just see that she cud b still here... suffering.. or she can be at peace.. And I know which I prefer... (its taken a long time to see it that way mind...)

God that's allot they expect from you in the running club innit... I'd die

 

[*Claire-Bear*]

20 miles a week .............. jesus ... youll have no joints left after a yr of that

 

[x_sambam_x]

Sarah I just looked at ur first post about ur mums scan there and was frantically trying to find the post with the update, thank god she's ok. I'm like u, I always think the worst! Hope ur ok chick x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

I went to 1 councelling session not long after yea.. It wasn't for me but thankfully I have great friends around me so I was able talk to them.. The 1 session was great in that I learned people will listen.. I just have to talk... But I do understand its not that simple for everyone.. I'm not brave or strong hun.. I just see that she cud b still here... suffering.. or she can be at peace.. And I know which I prefer... (its taken a long time to see it that way mind...)

God that's allot they expect from you in the running club innit... I'd die

Yeah I don't really have anyone I can turn to. And with the way my mind works, I wouldn't feel right flinging all my issues at someone else.
Well I think you're really brave hon!

It is a lot... I haven't been able to stick to it cuz I'm so knackered. X

20 miles a week .............. jesus ... youll have no joints left after a yr of that

I know hon and it's supposed to go up from that again. It's too much for me, I prefer shorter runs during the week, maybe a long one at the weekend? I like to do my own thing really, then I don't feel annoyed with myself for not sticking to the schedule of a running club!! X

Sarah I just looked at ur first post about ur mums scan there and was frantically trying to find the post with the update, thank god she's ok. I'm like u, I always think the worst! Hope ur ok chick x

Thanks hon, least I'm not the only one who thinks the worst in these situations. Thank god it's all ok, I was freaking out. Thanks for checking in... Love your new avatar - you've such a gorgeous smile!! X

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[*Claire-Bear*]

Id deffo do me own thing! i was gettin too many joint injuries from running three times a week, maybe i was doing somethin wrong but i didnt like the effect it had on me ... deffo stick to your own regimen !! xxx

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Id deffo do me own thing! i was gettin too many joint injuries from running three times a week, maybe i was doing somethin wrong but i didnt like the effect it had on me ... deffo stick to your own regimen !! xxx

Yeah I hadn't even thought what it could be doing to my joints!! And I do suffer with some pains in my shins so I definitely don't want to overdo it and end up not able for any jogging. Think I'll stick to what I want to do rather than feeling forced to go out doing miles and miles ya know? How far do you do hon? Would 3 miles be enough a couple of times during the week? A longer one at weekends possibly

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[*Claire-Bear*]

Yeah I hadn't even thought what it could be doing to my joints!! And I do suffer with some pains in my shins so I definitely don't want to overdo it and end up not able for any jogging. Think I'll stick to what I want to do rather than feeling forced to go out doing miles and miles ya know? How far do you do hon? Would 3 miles be enough a couple of times during the week? A longer one at weekends possibly

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Personally i think 3 x 3mile runs is enough for 1 week or maybe a longer one at 5 miles n 1 short one .... i was doing 4 runs a week (sometimes 6 mile runs) and was suffering with pains in my ankles n knees so i gave it up and did 1 or 2 a week ... but bare in mind i was running on hard concrete, if your running on a softer ground the effects wont be as bad on your joints .....

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Personally i think 3 x 3mile runs is enough for 1 week or maybe a longer one at 5 miles n 1 short one .... i was doing 4 runs a week (sometimes 6 mile runs) and was suffering with pains in my ankles n knees so i gave it up and did 1 or 2 a week ... but bare in mind i was running on hard concrete, if your running on a softer ground the effects wont be as bad on your joints .....

No I'm running the roads around where I live mostly. I did 6 miles on saturday and I was tired enough after. My schedule now is saying I should be doing 3 miles, 4 miles, 4 miles, 3 miles and 8 miles. That's a lot of mileage for one week....

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[*Claire-Bear*]

Thats a silly amount !! maybe you need to invest in those reeeally expensive running shoes for your joints (ascics i think) ... i wonder how professional athletes cope???

 

[azwethinkweiz]

I know!! It's a lot and with me driving to and from work (an hour each way) sometimes I'm just not in the mood to go out. I have asics trainers at the mo but they were on sale for 50 quid so I don't think they're too fancy hehe.

I dunno how athletes do it... Must be in their genes hehe.

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[*Claire-Bear*]

Yeahh, atleast u have asics eh !! just go easy on the runs, maybe split your runs up with a swimmin sesh to help those joints n muscles ?

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Yeahh, atleast u have asics eh !! just go easy on the runs, maybe split your runs up with a swimmin sesh to help those joints n muscles ?

LOL I'll have to learn to swim first I'm a _little_ afraid of water... I like it up to my chest but if it goes up any further I start panicking.
Maybe just some stretches and weights would help my joints on days I'm not running? I don't want to get sick of running and stop completely (which is what I feel like doing at this stage of the running club hehe). Think I'll only stick it for the next month or so and then I'll be out on my own again *sings - Here I go Again on my Own!*

 

[x_sambam_x]

Aww thanks Sarah ur always givin me compliments, such a lovely person well done on all the running! I actually watched something quite interesting last night about runnin shoes apparently the best way to run is barefoot haha!! I feel most comfortable barefoot exercising. When me and oh play squash I take my shoes and socks off lol. Am sure u would get some funny looks runnin down the street tho! And some cuts on ur toes ha.

How u settling back into work Sarah? I was at an interview this morning :-s x

 

[x_sambam_x]

Oh and I can't swim either, excuse the pun, we're both on the same boat feirt to jump in hahah!! X

 

[*Claire-Bear*]

Ooh myyy .. You can't swim ... Bless ya .... How would you strengthen your ankles with weights tho ? Lol ... ( this is a serious q btw, id like to no) hehe xxx

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Aww thanks Sarah ur always givin me compliments, such a lovely person well done on all the running! I actually watched something quite interesting last night about runnin shoes apparently the best way to run is barefoot haha!! I feel most comfortable barefoot exercising. When me and oh play squash I take my shoes and socks off lol. Am sure u would get some funny looks runnin down the street tho! And some cuts on ur toes ha.

How u settling back into work Sarah? I was at an interview this morning :-s x

Ah I just think you're so pretty hon - I make sure to try to tell people (women in particular) what I think of them (in a good way) because I think people are hard on themselves all the time!!
I havent actually _done_ all that running hehe... I was supposed to but I've been too tired this week because I'm not sleeping well (by the way, if anyone has any tips about getting a good nights sleep I'd appreciate it lol - I'll try anything!).
I did hear that it's better barefoot alright! I've tried barefoot on the beach a couple of times, it was nice but it is tough running on sand (and felt strange without shoes!!).

Um... I tell everyone I'm "fine" about work but the truth is I am struggling a bit. I didn't go in today (working from home) because I feel on the brink of an anxiety attack and didn't want to have one at work. plus my ex won't piss off and leave me alone - he's taken to following me in his car at lunch and then going in for lunch where i go (I usually bring a packed lunch so I just go to the shop for water or fruit or some velvet crunch!). It's getting wearing now *sigh*

How did the interview go? I've applied for a job down the road but don't think I'll get it - haven't heard anything from it yet