Bit of a crap weekend - not diet related...

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by lucy4loop, 30 August 2010 Social URL.

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  1. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    ... my partner of 9 years and I separated this weekend. My decision, and a very very hard one. So I'm feeling fairly s**t at the moment :(
     
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  3. Karamac

    Karamac Full Member

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    Oh, honey. I've been there - I guess an awful lot of us have and nothing I can say will make you feel any better I guess. Please look after yourself. Stay strong, remember the good times (I don't think bitterness is good for our health!) and post on here for strength and support. It's so strange, isn't it? We've never met, it's likely that we never will meet and yet I feel a bond with you and others on here. We're here for you.
     
  4. tracyd

    tracyd "I WILL DO THIS"

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    oh lucy im so sorry to hear that.....hope your ok.
    this will be a difficult time for you, try and stay strong. thinking of you xx
     
  5. tracyd

    tracyd "I WILL DO THIS"

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    and we are all here for you! xx
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    <<<<<hugs for Lucy>>>>>

    Sorry to hear your news Lucy. Even though it was your decision I imagine it was a very difficult one to make....we are all here for you, for whatever you need.

    XXX
     
  7. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    Thanks Karen. I know it was the right thing to do for all of us (we have two children) in the long run, but it's heartbreaking at the moment. It's funny, but LL has given me the strength to make the decision and follow it through. I saw my counsellor tonight, just went in to weigh and pick up packs and broke down as I went in. She was fantastic, told me if I was unhappy then it was the right thing to do, whatever anyone thinks or expects. She also said I can take my kids to meetings any time, they can play with her kids in another room. So good and bad today really. Now I can concentrate on being the best mum to our kids.
     
  8. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    Thanks so much Tracy and BL, that message of support means a great deal to me. Apart from the odd cry I do feel strangely strong :\
     
  9. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Hello Lucy
    Isn't it strange - when we start LL we think it's "just a diet" and we're doing it just to lose weight- like WW or SW.
    Then as we realise we are hoing to succeeed and our confidence improves we all seem to get an overwhelming urge to de-clutter and sort out other aspects of life.
    I suspect you have known your relationship needed to come to an end for some time. Brave you though, making the decision.
    Good luck Lucy, stay strong for you and your little ones. I hope you've got good friends to help you through this difficult time. Sounds like you've got a great LL counsellor.
     
  10. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    Thanks SB. My LLC was great yesterday, instead of making me question it and making me feel bad "for the children/ other half" she just said I have to be true to myself. And you're right, I have known for some time, I just needed the courage to do what I know is right but seems so wrong to everyone else. Only myself and OH know the true situation. I do have good friends I can turn to, when I feel ready to talk xx
     
  11. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    It' hard Lucy, leaving someone. It isbound to stir up difficult emotions - you are a kind person, and its not easy causing someone to hurt - but your LLC is riht - you do need to do what feels right in your heart, otherwise you are only half a person for those you love. If that makes sense.

    I left my husband after 13 years - and even though I was so angry at him, I did once love him too, and knew I was going to hurt him - but in all fairness, I had fallen out of love with him so really was hurting him by staying too. We have remained friendly, and we are both far happier now with our current partners, so in the end, it all works out for the best. Its just difficult initially.

    We were lucky in there were no children involvd, I miagine that makes it very difficult for all of you. :(

    Good on you though for being tru to yourself. That is a brave thing to do and often times we overlook that.

    xxx
     
  12. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    I think the hardest thing for me at the moment is that my OH, or ex-OH, is a lovely person, a loving partner and fantastic dad - he's done nothing wrong. I think I just "fell out of love", and believe me I tried everything to get it back, counselling included, but I knew in my heart that it was gone. I've carried a lot of guilt for a long time about not being able to return his feelings, I couldn't go on shouldering it. I believe we can be better parents apart, and we hadn't got the the stage of screaming matches and fights so hopefully we can remain friends. We definitely agree on doing the best for the children.
     
  13. Karamac

    Karamac Full Member

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    I think you've definitely got it right, Lucy. I was married to my previous husband for 17 years. I knew after 10 years that I no longer wanted to be with him but at that time we had a 10 year old ( we got married because of the baby) and a 6 year old so I thought I'd be able to stay until my youngest was 16. I was wrong, I managed to stay until he was 13 but by that time I literally hated the sight of my ex. Everything he did or said made my skin crawl. I actually had to have a breakdown before I had the courage to leave him and I only managed to do that because my dad paid 12 months rent on a little house for me. It's far better to leave before it gets to that and before the children are able to see the anger and the bitterness between two people who feel that they are wasting their lives by being together. I'm happy to say that I met someone new and it's our 7th wedding anniversary next week and my ex is also remarried and seemingly happy.

    It takes real courage to leave. You're a much braver person than I was and your children are lucky to have the two of you for their parents.
     
  14. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Lucy you seem to have your head in the right place hun. You knew things werent right and you got out. I applaud you on that. The further into your LL journey you go the stronger you will become. The main thing is you are not on your own - you have the support from everyone here but most importantly you have the love of your two beautiful children. Keep your head up huni. You will get through this and come out the other side x x x
     
  15. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    Thanks Karen & IWGT. We've got through week one, I think we'll be ok. I'm checking in on here every so often, still following the plan 100% - in fact I think that's what is keeping my head together, being in complete control of something! Food of any sort hasn't even crossed my mind, so that's one good thing. Weigh in tomorrow night, I'll be taking the children with me, my LLC said they can play with her kids. Thanks for the messages :) x
     
  16. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    You will be grand huni. Us women are stronger than we give ourselves credit for
     
  17. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Women are like teabags. The hotter the water, the stronger we get.. ;) :)

    xx
     
  18. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Well said BL. Couldnt have put it better myself :D
     
  19. lucy4loop

    lucy4loop Silver Member

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    IWGT - you look FABULOUS!!! I looked at your gallery, you look like a different person! And well done at the party :) :) xx
     
  20. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Thanks Lucy. The party was slightly harder than I thought. Worst thing was that when the party finished there was another party starting up in the forest. Any other time i wouldve been first there and last to leave the next day - but me and my OH just came home - which has to be a first for me lol. Felt fantastic tho yesterday morning getting up as fresh as a daisy without the hangover.
     
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