Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Friday 17th... my lovely friend arrived

Friday 17th August

Another very busy day ahead but as I had slept fairly well, I had the energy needed… after a trip to the market for my weekly 3 chocolate treats (30p worth) it was off to work and a busy morning working and then visiting my mum at her friend’s house in Duston (Northampton) (their reaction was wonderful and I had a very quick e-bay lesson to help me put my clothes on sale) I nipped into Matalan and had a browse… tried on lots of clothes and fell in love with a t-shirt (bright pink ‘Little Miss Naughty’ in a frickin size 12!!) but put it back and the skirt too… however, the sale item size 12 black skirt somehow stayed in my basket and made it all the way home after only making me part with £4.00 On the way home my friend rang to say she was running late so we discussed food and I dropped into Tesco on my way back and picked up provisions. Very excited about seeing her. Home, floors washed and all vac’d and polished… then she arrived!!!! It was SO fantastic to see her again. We hugged for ages and then started the next 78 hours of talking and setting the world to rights! Lol She took one look at my study/office and told me that , as the weather forecast was bad, she was going to make sure that we cleared some of it out!! I was dreading it… my floor was covered in boxes under the desk and in front of my bookcase… not a lot of leg room! Lol

So… that was the plan for Saturday.. in the meantime we sorted out all her camping stuff and got it in the tent. We prepared the veggies and salad for dinner later and then had a call from Zoe to say ‘come and get me!’ lol So… off we went… 2 and a half hours later we were back home again and Zoe’s washing in the machine, her with her fella, and us desperate to eat! We lit the BBQ and yes, waited the 20 full minutes! lmao, and talked and giggled and shared our lives since last seeing one another.

My friend is highly allergic to animal fur so we had to sit in the kitchen with the doors open all the time – I was freezing and put more and more layers on, but SSing and leading up to TOTM I feel the cold bitterly… we ate very late and talked on… we finally went to bed at 1.30am ish… very very tired…. So glad to see her though and so pleased to have her company… (not looking forward to Saturday’s task though!) Blueeyes had been sending texts AND calling too… I was beginning to feel a bit pressured again… I think it must be me…

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Saturday - smothering, parties and friends

Saturday 18th August

Woken up by a text from Blueeyes and then a call… earlier than I would have liked but he wasn’t to know that and it is nice to talk to him. I got up then and pottered around until my mate got up.. then she said we should start on the study… lol.. she is even more determined than I am!! Sarah rang then (saved by the bell!) to ask if we could buy her some leggings and bring them to the party with us when we collected her later… so off we went! Lol Wandering along Rushden High Street we managed to avoid the charity shops, got the desired leggings and then decided to nip into Argos to see if we could get some archive boxes for my stuff!! We got some at a great price, loaded them into the car with the knowledge that once we got in I would have to confront the contents of the boxes laying on my office floor! I had no idea what was in them – they’d lain undisturbed for a long long time!

During our trip I had 2 more phone calls and texts from Blueeyes, I reminded him that my friend was with me this weekend and I thought he took the hint… I was wrong..

We made a start on the study/office… let’s just say… 4 balck sacks and 2 of them full of shredding later… my floor was cleared but so many memories stirred up seeing photos and legal papers and all sorts of memorabilia from the past…. It was with very mixed feelings that I was throwing some things out… but I knew she was right and there really was no point in holding on to them any more…

The photos weren’t discarded, they have been put into a box to be sorted and scrap booked another time… but oh my … the memories.. pictures of both of my ex husbands,.. the girls when they were little… me as a child… my late grandparents… friends.. family… all kinds of things… artwork the girls did some 15 years ago… certificates for Ballet.. cycling… etc… CD’s and Tapes.. we were just about to call it a day when the phone rang – again! It was Blueeyes… he asked if I was ok and I told him, no, it had been quite emotional as we had been sorting out my things.. he was very very insensitive and said ‘oh, lots of bad memories then and loads of crap to sort out and throw away then?’… and I said no… not all bad memories, just memories and not just crap, but things from my life! He said he felt he had been a pain all day and was smothering me… I agreed wholeheartedly and told him that I wanted to spend the time with my friend…this was MY space and I had told him before that it was important for me to have my own space and my friends,… he apologized (this is becoming a habit) and said he was sorry he had been a pain and would leave me alone the rest of the evening… (Bear in mind, we were due to go out within 2 hours!!)… I told him that would be a very good idea and yes he was smothering me and I didn’t like it! He was the one who said he knew he’d been a pain and was smothering me, I didn’t say it… I just agreed!!! He was right – loads of calls and texts and interruptions… bad manners I would say too and not endearing!

We wrapped up the cleaning session and my friend went for her shower whilst I straightened things up a bit downstairs… then I got ready and then Zoe arrived home to get ready too! Lol So… all of us shiny, squeaky clean and raring to go! THEN the red rag came… a text from Blueeyes!!!! I was incensed… I KNOW it was supposed to be an apology but really! It began with ‘just a text to apologise for the texts… hope I haven’t blown it… sorry for all the calls…. Blah blah de blah blah’!!! WTF!!! Can he not tell the IRONY in that??? Argh!!! He also suggested that we watch a dvd together at his place in the evening after the BBQ!! I fired off a reply… “Do NOT contact me again tonight, I will see you tomorrow afternoon at 3. After the BBQ I am coming home and spending an evening ALL alone!” I was fuming! This was not funny! I just felt as if he was keeping tabs on me! (He had left messages on my house phone too whilst we were out shopping in the morning saying there was a problem with my mobile… there wasn’t – I’d chosen to ignore his calls!!!)

THEN (and this didn’t help my mood at all either.. lol) came a text from a number I didn’t recognize… it turned out to be a chap I dated way back at the very start of the diet… asking how it was going (he had been on it too)… well, as the last I had heard from him was an email that said ‘Do not contact me by any means whatsoever…’ I was somewhat surprised to say the least! So… I said he could call me and he did… bet he wished he hadn’t… I let him have it! Lol Told him he had been very rude to me the last communication and it had been unnecessary and that no, I would never meet him again, and yes, I had done the diet and lost the weight. He said he would like to see what I look like so I told him to email me and I’d send him a photo… lol.. but that I have no contact information for him any more and would not be meeting him ever again. I can’t believe the nerve of some men!! He only rang coz him and his new girl had split up and he was clearly trawling through his little black book.. lol… I’m not THAT naïve!! Lol

So… his timing sucked! Lol Thanks to Blueeyes peeing me off I gave it to him straight that he should be more polite to people who are just friends and that he had some front contacting me again! Lol Somehow I don’t think it’s a mistake he will repeat – at least, not with me!! LMAO

So, in a fairly bad mood and very nervous and excited too, we set off for Luton and the birthday party. Got to the train station exactly on time and it was SO ace to see my gorgeous daughter again… we went straight to the party and the girls went in first… me and my mate followed… I got very nervous and my mate gave me a big hug… then we went in… first up was my mates ex hubby who I’ve not seen in 4 years… I said hello and introduced my friend from Wales.. and he said hi and we moved on.. then I saw the boys (the 3 lads had grown up with my 2 girls… we had lived opposite for 14 years and known them for over 20!)… they were lovely and didn’t recognize me to begin with.. THEN the penny dropped with my mates ex… LMAO He grabbed my arm and pretty much hysterically apologized for not recognizing me… and babbled incoherently for ages… lol… simultaneously hugging me… lol… TOO funny… it was a riot! THEN the biggest comic thing happened ever… he hit on me!!!!! Now, if just say this… he is the VERY last man on this planet I would ever want to spend more than 15 minutes with… you get the idea how ridiculous it is!

Even funnier though was one of Zoë’s old school friends and he was a neighbour too… he’s just 18 and didn’t believe it was me and kept coming up to me throughout the evening telling me how amazed he was etc etc.. and at the end of the night came up to me gave me a huge hug and yelled in my ear… “I know I’m young Jennie but you are F***ing gorgeous – I so want to kiss you!!!” LMAO Then he tried to kiss me!! Lol lol Bless him.. I’ll put it down to the copious amounts of lager he had consumed during the evening and just hope he doesn’t remember… although I think Zoë shall never forget it!

Me any my mate danced loads throughout the evening as did my friend from Wales… and.. there was the food.. now, I don’t know whether it was my mood, the high, the compliments, the nerves, the bad mood, whatever… I ate loads! I had all the chicken on skewers I could manage first… (in dribs and drabs… ) and then I had a couple of baby spring rolls and a couple of sausage rolls.. then there were the peanuts.. and finally the chocolate crispie cake… OMG… what was I thinking!!! I would have been better off getting a plate and just doing what I did at Cheryl’s party - take a plate, have one of everything and not go back!!! Instead I grazed… felt most uncomfortable but confess I did enjoy every morsel!! Promised that I wouldn’t do it again on Sunday at the BBQ I was going to with Blueeyes…

Pleased to report that Blueeyes took the hint and did NOT contact me again that evening! Lol Think there would have been a Hiroshima effect over Luton if he had!! I know… I’m a nightmare!!!

I helped clear up after the party and we loaded all the leftovers into my car (I told her no way could I take ANY of it home as I would sit and trough my way through the lot!!!) So, I dropped her ex home and then her and all the food and Sarah’s stuff (she went on to a club with the lads) as she was staying in Luton overnight and catching a train home in the morning.

By this time I was already shattered… way past midnight and over an hours drive to face… we were all tired.. I still had to take Zoe to her fella’s on the way and we (my friend from Wales) and I , got in around 2am. We sat and talked more and I started clearing more stuff and in fact, was still shredding old papers at 3am and then decided to call it a night. Crawled into bed and the dulcet tones of Paul

I've attached a couple of pics from the night - all 5 of our kids together and one of me and my girls - I adore my babies (Even though they are all grown up now!)

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Sunday - BBQ, tension, tiredness - I'm so stroppy!!!

Sunday August 19th

Well, you might be forgiven for thinking I would lay in awhile and yes, I sort of did…but I woke up fairly early and started sorting out my bedroom!! It’s like a switch has been flicked in my brain that says I need to get rid of all the junk in my life and that means the physical as well as the emotional. The emotional is far more difficult… but it will come eventually I’m sure… so… there I am up and sorting out boxes and piles of stuff on my bureau… another sack full of stuff done and more items in the British Heart Foundation bag that will be collected on Wednesday… well, you know, they do supply me with wicked clothes so least I can do is give them stuff to sell too!! Also got a leaflet from them about taking away furniture so… will call them next week and offer the double bed and single bed from downstairs as I need to clear those rooms for my business venture! Showered and dressed and downstairs and dishwasher and washing machine all up and running and floors vac’d (trying to reduce animal fur levels) and my friend still sleeping soundly in the tent in the garden – she slept really well all weekend actually and was lovely and warm too so that was ace!!

Cooked her some mushroom omelettes in the George Foreman… they looked delicious and she assured me they were – so that’s something to remember for maintenance! We sat and talked more, very aware that she would be leaving in the afternoon and it’s always really hard to part… I love her to bits. Lucy turned up out of the blue… and as she knows my mate too she came in and had a natter for a few minutes… I told her about my concerns about Blueeyes and his enthusiastic zeal!! She suggested that I drive to the BBQ myself and meet him there.. I liked her thinking.. but compromised and called him up to say I would drive to his place and we could go from there to the BBQ.

HE was cool with that – to be fair I think if I’d suggested anything he would have been cool with it… he sounded very worried indeed. I said I’d text him when I was leaving.

My friend and I agreed this was by far the best move as it meant I was in control of being able to come home after the BBQ when I wanted to, especially as I had felt so uncomfortable in his house the last time…

We carried on chatting (me and my lovely friend) and started loading her car up with her stuff… always the worst part of stays… the leaving…

I got ready for the BBQ, denim skirt, pink top and hair clipped up… felt nervous as not sure what I was going to say to Blueeyes.

We (my friend and I ) said our goodbyes and both left the house at the same time.. I hate saying goodbye to her… but at least we shall see each other again in a few weeks at the motorbike rally up in Yorkshire! I’m REALLY looking forward to that!!

Texted Blueeyes to tell him I was on my way… we met, I parked on his driveway and got into his car.. it was very awkward. I felt most odd and couldn’t look at him. On the way there I told him I was nervous about meeting his friends and asked him if he had said anything about my weight loss to them and he said no, he hadn’t. I told him I was glad as I didn’t want that to be the first thing they knew about me and it is only a part of my life and not the most important either.

We got to the BBQ and went in… it was pouring with rain and immediately I was plonked on a chair and surrounded by screaming kids and a whole host of strangers all of whom knew each other.. he went to get me a drink and was gone ages… then there were the speeches.. I felt privileged to be there and it was all very moving. They were very nice people. After the toasts were done I told him I needed the loo (we had been there quite a while and he had not introduced me to a single soul..) . I escaped to the bathroom and afterwards introduced myself to his friends… well, the way I saw it was that here I was, a total stranger in their home and never been introduced! They were really lovely.
I went into the kitchen to top up my glass and spotted the scrummy looking puds! I commented to a girl about how yummy they looked and she replied ‘ well, you can’t have any can you, you’ve got to be good, ***** said so’!!!! I was appalled!!!! I asked her what he had told them – she said he’d said that I’d lost lots of weight and was still dieting and had to be good!! I was absolutely livid!!! I sought him out and hissed the conversation in his ear – his face dropped… he shot off like a scalded rabbit to check with his friends and came back shame-faced and admitted that he had told them and had forgotten.

Boy was I mad! I told him straight – we need to talk but this is neither the time nor the place…. And I pursed my lips and headed for the food… retorting.. ‘If I want to eat I damn well will!!’ and then went on to cut my nose off to spite my face!! I had a mountain of carrot sticks and low-fat dip, cucumber strips and a couple of bits of breaded chicken and a sausage roll (which wasn’t nice so only had the one) and then went for the puds… well.. a stash of pineapple pieces with chocolate fudge sauce and 2 slices of cheesecake and 2 marshmallow teacakes and a slice of birthday cake later… I was in agony!! My belly was so swollen and I was physically in so much pain!! I was fuming with myself but I just KNOW what I’m like… tell me I can’t and I damn well will – never mind the consequences!! I was just in SUCH a foul mood too!! BAH!!!

He came up to me a couple of times and tried to start ‘the’ discussion and I told him again, not the time and the place,

Having said that… no-one there (except for Blueeyes) knew my mood… lol.. I did the washing up and mingled with people and got chatting to some of the youngsters there (it was an 18th Birthday celebration) and ended up comparing tattoos and talking about music and travel… also had a lovely chat with an Octogenarian who was celebrating her birthday the next day with a trip oop north and with a couple who are planning a cruise across the Atlantic to the states to visit friends…

I was ready to go after about 3 hours and told him so. We said goodbye to his friends and left. On the way to his house I said we had to talk.. he said he knew what I was going to say (which again irritated me!- poor sod can’t win!! Lol) … so I told him he was very clever then as I hadn’t got a clue what I was going to say!! Lol

We got there and sat in his living room and he apologized profusely for his behaviour on Thursday and over the weekend… asked for a second chance… said he was convinced I was going to say I wasn’t going to see him again… I told him that I had said I was going to be at the BBQ and I knew it meant a lot to him so went. I told him that his behaviour had not only freaked me out but seriously p**sed me off too and if he remembered my profile he would have seen my comments about pressure!! (It said I would head for the hills at great speed!!) I again told him I wasn’t looking to live with anyone, nor marry, but to just go out and date and enjoy myself but not be pressured. He kept apologizing and asked if we could put it behind us, I said yes, of course we could and that I wouldn’t mention it again. I then told him I was going home as I was very tired and needed some peace and quiet. He said he wouldn’t contact me when I was busy – so I told him, it’s not a case of ignore or suffocate – it’s about getting a balance... and that was the key.

After our chat he said that as he was already in the doghouse… and then presented me with some more clothes! I had already told him that I appreciated the other items but no more as I like to choose my own clothes and can’t accept so many gifts… I was amazed… having spent the previous hour going over how I had felt pressure, smothered, that he was controlling… (pot kettle black I know!!)… and here he was with clothes.. I told him flat out I didn’t like any of them and to take them back and no more!!!!

He tried to give me money for the ticket for Friday nights gig in Bedford that we were going to and I said no need as I’d arranged to pay on the door... he said he didn’t have to be at work until 10am on the Saturday and I said that was nice but he wasn’t to expect to stay at my place Friday! He said he would come to me straight from work to get ready and I said no, I wanted to get ready in peace and we would meet up and go together. (I didn’t want a repeat of the dog on heat routine!!!) I meant it too. He needs to listen. I mean what I say!

We were saying goodbye and I said, we’ll talk before Friday and sort out the details to which he replied ‘yeah, but not too much eh?’ and I just sighed inside and out! I didn’t mention it but he was going to… Said I’d tell him how my weigh in went on Monday and goodnight, kissed goodbye and drove off.

We’d previously arranged to meet for a drink on Monday after my weigh in and I told him that I would let him know on the day how I felt as I was very tired and thought I was coming down with something.

I got home and spent some time with Zoë and her fella and they put my push bike together for me.. now all I need is sunshine and a cycle helmet! I got stuck into more sorting and shredding… did go to bed early though (10pm) and Paul sent me to sleep in double quick time

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Monday 20th August... early night??

Monday 20th August

Woke up feeling really grotty – cough, snuffles, TOTM due on Friday… really feeling naff. Woke up at 3am to go to the loo and was wide awake so got on with even MORE sorting out! Lol My bureau is lovely now and my bedroom is looking a lot better although loads more to do… came downstairs and put out all the rubbish and filled up the recycling boxes and threw even more music cassette tapes into the Heart Foundation bag… by 7am I was dead on my feet again! Up again and off to work then B&Q and got a piece of MDF to do some improvements in the little spare room – that will take me an evening as it will be drilling and cutting to size and I will need to really focus on it carefully – also stocked up on disposable BBQ’s for the rally as me and my Welsh friend have agreed to feed our families with BBQs whilst there… lol.. she’s providing chicken I’ll provide veggie kebabs and the marinade

Got text from Blueeyes asking how I was and told him I wasn’t feeling well… he immediately attributed it to having eaten too much on Sunday – I shall leave you to decide my thoughts on that!!!!

Study looking better but I still have loads of stuff to sort through and I will do.. in time… I also bought some more loft flooring as I intend to floor the downstairs loft first and then all the upstairs one once the downstairs is sorted out.

Weigh in was at 4,30pm and afterwards I texted him to say I was going to meet him for the drink and I did. I pulled into the car park and all of a sudden he was there.. lol Made me jump! Lol

It was really nice to see him although when I told him I had lost 2.4lbs he said I was dead jammy considering how much I had stuffed my face on Sunday!! We had one drink and it was ok – sort of - until he started to apologise again and tell me that he thought I was very special and the lyrics to 10cc’s song ‘I’m Not In Love’ are spot on for us… (I have to google them I think.. but I have a vague recollection of them… hmmm…) I also got ANOTHER card in the post, telling me how wonderful I am… that one he had posted on Friday!!

I was ok until the lyrics comment and more profuse apologies.. I just don’t know any more… I thought there was something very special about him, and I still think there is, but I can’t be constantly telling him off and telling him how to behave – ya know?

Perhaps I’m just impossible to have as a girlfriend, lol… me and my mate agreed that I may well NEVER want to share my house with a man again if this is anything to go by… I really felt my space was invaded BIG time… even with the answerphone messages each day…. *sigh… blimey.. no wonder men say women are impossible to please… I certainly am at the moment!! As we parted we kissed and I said I was looking forward to Friday and we’d talk again about it soon, he once more said., yes but not too much… I just shook my head… I’d let it go… why couldn’t he???

Got home and pottered about in the house, jumped online very briefly for the first time since Thursday and then cleaned the kitchen (Zoë’s home remember!) and then went up to bed… read my book awhile and then good old Paul lulled me to oblivious slumber….

Oooh…. Forgot to say… S texted me!!!! Said he would call me in the week!!!! MEN!

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Tuesday 21st August... snuffles and more stroppiness!

Tuesday August 21st

Wow, woke up dead early and got up and went straight to work! Felt crappy - defo have a cold and cough and sniffly snuffly… headachey and achy bones thing going on… got heaps done at work, brought loads home, dealt with some visitors and enquiries and all the post and spoke to boss and agreed I could work from home the rest of the week and I have Friday and Tuesday off so lovely long weekend ahead…

Blueeyes texted and I told him how yuk I felt and he said he was lacking motivation for some reason today. Told him I hope he hasn’t got this! Then I got on with things… after work it was into town and banking, gifts for some friends, new Yankee Candle tarts for burners around the house… took all my newspaper recycling to the local box and got rid of all that so boxes all empty now in readiness for more sorting out! Lol

Have wanted to eat everything in sight today and have had chicken and salad and 2 packs and 2 truffles that Zoë’s made this afternoon.. have told her no more food this week now.. I need to put the brakes on again as I certainly do feel like I ‘got away with it’ this week and all that party food… but it has to stop - she goes back to work tomorrow so no more tempting foods in the house will make it FAR easier!!

Amongst all the sorting out I came across the watch my mother bought me a couple of years ago (I never wear a watch) and I have to say, now I can get it on (elasticated strap) and it’s lovely and loose, I AM wearing it! I took it to a jewelers and got a new battery put in it and I love it! It’s all marcasite and mother of pearl face and silver metal strap … and very pretty . Really glad I came across it!

Couldn’t resist the charity shops but instead of clothes I got some photo albums as I am going to sort out my huge albums and condense the years into smaller batches… since coming home all I’ve done is sit in the study and catch up with emails and sit and write War and Peace (my version!)… so… it’s almost 9pm already and I think I will head for bed now… may have a radox bubble bath and read my book awhile and then dedicate my evening to Paul … hee hee…

Blyeeyes rang me… and has texted me again too… it’s ok., sort of… when he heard how rough I sound he actually believed me that it wasn’t food related illness… lol… and told me I had to stay in tomorrow night and not go to the Bike club! Grrr… lol I know he is just being caring… but I am a big girl… and will make up my own mind!

Also – last night I got an email to say the Bedford gig has been cancelled!!! I let him know and suggested we go bowling or to the pics instead… wanted to let him see that I wasn’t trying to avoid him.. lol.. when he rang earlier he said why don’t we go out on Sat instead to the BBQ my friends in Langford had asked me to. I told him no. I couldn’t go out Sat, Sun AND Mon… so it was Friday or nothing.. he said if I wasn’t better that we can go out another time… lol… perhaps he is going off me eh? (and let's face it, I wouldn't blame him!! lol)

After he rang yesterday (lunchtime) Zoe (who had heard my side of the conversation) said to me… was that *****? When I said yes, she said… ‘and you speak to him like that???’ yep… she then asked me.. “Why on earth does he like you!!!!!??” and I said I hadn’t got a clue!! Lol

To be honest, I just don’t know what to do with/about him… when I see him I do want to be with him, but when I’m not and he is the way he is I find him inordinately irritating… it would be all to easy for him to get very comfortable with me and my house… know what I mean??

I decided (with my friend) that I am just a right nasty hard-face mare at the moment and probably a real nightmare of a girlfriend because I am so defensive… lol.. but in my defence your honour… lol… I DID warn him!!!! (and any other potential suitor!!)

So… at last… diary up to date… eating desperately needing to be dragged back into control so SSing again 100% for remainder of week… tomorrow I have to see the Dr as the nurse was worried coz my resting pulse rate is (apparently) very low… 48… so.. got that to look forward to, but it does give me a chance to discuss the other stuff too… after that I have to take Zoë back to Hatfield, then it’s home and possibly the Bike club, possibly not as if my cold is no better then I would be better keeping it to myself!!

Can’t believe the drive inside me to clear my house out of clutter and old stuff but also the memories are really hard to deal with.. I think I have a long way to go on the old emotional front before I am ‘there’… wonder if I shall ever let the barriers down fully again… at the moment I would say nope… but then.. ever the optimist, lol… perhaps it’s a case of time and the right person

Oh… AND… tonight S rang!!!! Very chatty, said he will call again later in the week!
I give up!

Right… off to bath, bed and book now and tomorrow will try and catch up with everyone else’s news!

 

[deb4321]

Hi FFF, your posts are brill, really enjoy them and relate a lot to what you say, thanks for the laughs

 

[Redpam]

Wow what a marathon, Jennie.

You dont do things by halves. I just wish I had your energy.

I know how you feel about sorting through things. I am doing this at the moment because I cant take everything to Portugal and I am a great hoarder. It all brings back so many memories both happy and sad.

I still think your diary would make a best seller.

 

[westiegirl]

Blummin eck woman, slow down again would ya and let me catch up lol.

Love ya xxx

 

[Karen1972]

Well well well!! What on earth are you like young Jennifer!!!

I have to say your behaviour towards Blueeyes is absolutely appalling - but you already know that. I think he is not the one for you, being irritated is not a nice feeling for you or him. So put him out of his misery and let him find someone that will appreciate his full on attention.

Jen you seem a difficult girl to please at the moment, and just after i lost my weight i was exactly the same. So just have some Jen time until you get used to the new gorgeous you, it's exaclty what you need.

You look absolutely stunning and radiant in your new pic - i love it, it's the best one yet and your hair looks gorgeous too!

Lovely to catch up on your goings on....

 

[kittykat]

Hi jennie just enjoyed reasing all your antics such avid reading

btw how the hell do you make omlettes on the george foreman ??????

 

[Karen1972]

Hi jennie just enjoyed reasing all your antics such avid reading

btw how the hell do you make omlettes on the george foreman ??????

LOL LOL LOL that's exactly what i was thinking!

 

[KateF]

Hello!

Great updates.

I've just come back from a lovely therapist who made me cry when I realised how much I gave in to things I wasn't comfortable with with a bloke because he seemed (and probably is) nice.
I still have the old habits of low self esteem and poor boundaries though so had put up with things that didn't feel right.
Blueeyes with his dressing gown and his controlling and his constant texting and his not listening sounds like he's stepping over lots of boundaries- no wonder you're irritated.
If he can listen to you properly and change, fair enough, if not, it sounds like you have great chemistry but he's not an ideal bloke for a proper intimate relationship.

There- by proxy of my great therapist-who made me realise how much I still need to look after myself!

 

[KittyB]

LOL LOL LOL that's exactly what i was thinking!

ROFL me three

K xxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Good morning all

Right... the George Foreman thing... it is a fabby piece of kit - it had some special omelettee trays that came with it... and they work a treat! I think Zoe bought the top model or something... I'll attach pics for you to show what I mean.. in fact... I think I will have a mushroom and onion omlette! Hmm... nope... that's not SSing... argh! Ok... will just take the pics and whack them on here to show you. They really work though and my friend said they were scrummy... will come back to you on the other comments... (esp. Karen's about how I treat Blueeyes... )

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Pics of omlette doobry whatsits attached... make SERIOUSLY good looking (and tasting apparantly) omelettes!

Update on Blueeyes later - SSing today and feeling lousy with this rotten cold, Dr's appt at 4.30pm so will talk about the ops thing as well as me super duper low heart rate (which I reckon is fine anyhoo).

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

So much for an early night! Grrr!~ KIDS!

Well well well!! What on earth are you like young Jennifer!!!

I have to say your behaviour towards Blueeyes is absolutely appalling - but you already know that. I think he is not the one for you, being irritated is not a nice feeling for you or him. So put him out of his misery and let him find someone that will appreciate his full on attention.

I know, I was a prize beeyatch to him, but you will pleased (or not mebbe) to hear that we had an hour long conversation this afternoon and have resolved a whole shed load of stuff - will expand tomorrow - but are seeing each other Friday and both looking forward to it too

Jen you seem a difficult girl to please at the moment, and just after i lost my weight i was exactly the same. So just have some Jen time until you get used to the new gorgeous you, it's exaclty what you need.

I am a nightmare to please at the moment - let's not kid ourselves!! A total nightmare! I need another holiday! lol

You look absolutely stunning and radiant in your new pic - i love it, it's the best one yet and your hair looks gorgeous too!

Aw thanks..

Lovely to catch up on your goings on....

Hello!

Great updates.

I've just come back from a lovely therapist who made me cry when I realised how much I gave in to things I wasn't comfortable with with a bloke because he seemed (and probably is) nice.

aww, ((((((Hugs)))))))

I still have the old habits of low self esteem and poor boundaries though so had put up with things that didn't feel right.

I think the thing with me is I am setting the boundaries very forcibly right now and that's not necessarily the best way either... got to find a middle ground mebbe...

Blueeyes with his dressing gown and his controlling and his constant texting and his not listening sounds like he's stepping over lots of boundaries- no wonder you're irritated.

He did and I was...

If he can listen to you properly and change, fair enough, if not, it sounds like you have great chemistry but he's not an ideal bloke for a proper intimate relationship.

I really have no idea what will happen, time will tell I guess but we did have a very long talk today and resolved loads (at least I hope we did!).. will know more Friday when I see him next... lots of thinking to do!

There- by proxy of my great therapist-who made me realise how much I still need to look after myself!

Bless you, I really appreciate it


Well, so much for an early night (it's almost midnight) - Sarah (my elder daughter) rang as I was driving back from dropping other daughter (Zoe) off in hatfield and convinced me that it was essential to get online and put some rotten programme on the pc to enable her to access her files on her desktop on my pc ... needless to say, I got in, shattered, wanting my bed but did as requested. Here I am almost 3 hours later - totally whacked out and cross because it all went pear-shaped and I have to parcel up stuff and send it by courier in the morning! So... 3 hours sleep lost, grotty mood now (no change there then I hear you cry!!) and eyes feeling like sand filled sacks of cottage cheese!!

I was hoping to update but to be honest am so pooped... will do so tomorrow... (after said parcelling up is done and gone!! Grrr - kids!!) It's essential stuff for her uni course (which she has just told me she is changing... )

 

[Summerskye]

So glad to see you seem to have sorted things out with Blueeyes, honey .. and if you think you're a mardy cow you should be living with me!! I'm a right blinking nightmare at the moment

I can't wait for my holiday now (4 weeks today! Yeehaw!) - and of course to chill out with all you lovelies in Brum in 2 weeks' time.

If the weather's good I might decide to go to the Notting Hill Carnival on Monday .. so maybe bump into you there

 

[kazbro]

hi jen
how i have missed reading your diary
well firstly well doen for getting to BMI of 27
blooming amazing hun xx

brown eyes = definetly agree he wasn`t for you

motorbike man = lucky escape me thinks especially when he has smelly breathe

blue eyes= well he does sound nice and i do think he is strying his best
like all men he sounds a bit amorous but hey you are a stunner so what man wouldn`t want to try it on with you
only you know what feels right so just keep doing what ay doing and if blue eyes is the one it will all work out

can in ask where ya got your bra from
being top heavy myself i really need a good support one and no amount of shops seem to be able to cope with my bountiful cleavage
did they come to your house or did you gat fitted in a shop?

well i hope i haven`t mised anything in your diary
well done again yet again you inspire me to carry on

kaz

 

[pandora]

Hi all,
message from Jennie,
she is having PC problems, she wants you all to know she is ok & has lots to tell us.
She txt me earlier but i was down the beach at the time
xx

 

[KittyB]

Hi all,
message from Jennie,
she is having PC problems, she wants you all to know she is ok & has lots to tell us.
She txt me earlier but i was down the beach at the time
xx

Thanks for letting us know Cheryl...

Had been watching out for the update

Jennie, hope all ok, and looking forward to reading the updates

K xxxx