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Compliment FAIL

KnitNat

Full Member
I just saw a friend of mine for some coffee and knitting this afternoon and she said I looked like I'd lost weight (already? I'm only on day 5)

My response? Nah, it's just because I'm not wearing my bulky cardigan I always wear at work.

Seriously, why can I not accept a compliment about losing weight? If my hair looks nice, or I'm wearing something nice, then yes. But whenever anyone says I look like I've lost weight, I deny it!
 
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Getslimquick

Been liberated by Exante!
KnitNat said:
I just saw a friend of mine for some coffee and knitting this afternoon and she said I looked like I'd lost weight (already? I'm only on day 5)

My response? Nah, it's just because I'm not wearing my bulky cardigan I always wear at work.

Seriously, why can I not accept a compliment about losing weight? If my hair looks nice, or I'm wearing something nice, then yes. But whenever anyone says I look like I've lost weight, I deny it!

Practice just saying "thank you". - it gets easier and you are going to have to get into gear soon - the compliments are going to roll in.

I have a different challenge - some old very fat friends are getting decidedly waspish. I have more negative swipes in the past twenty four hours than ever before.
It's the new clothes I think - or the brimming enthusiasm or the ongoing positive thinking.

Anyway - just practice and you will get better at it.

GSQ
 

SammyE

Silver Member
I cant take compliments very well either, and if people ask how much ive lost i lie lol and say less then i actually have, crazy isnt it! Ive gone from a size 20 to a size 14 and still cant admit to people how much weight ive lost!
 

Getslimquick

Been liberated by Exante!
SammyE said:
I cant take compliments very well either, and if people ask how much ive lost i lie lol and say less then i actually have, crazy isnt it! Ive gone from a size 20 to a size 14 and still cant admit to people how much weight ive lost!

It's linked to low self esteem I think. Most overweight people have learnt to think they are not valuable or even 'good' - so taking praise or compliments contradicts the story they have constructed in their head. Most are just used to frequent rude comments and they learn to ignore any personal remarks - even positive ones.

Well done Sammy you have done amazingly well. I don't like saying how much I have lost either - it prompts comments such as 'how on earth did you get that big in the first place? '
So now I say - quite a lot and leave it at that. Then I say I feel great - saves them saving 'have you been ill!

Embrace it Sammy you are a success - well done.


GSQ.
 

KnitNat

Full Member
My parents keep all our graduation photos on the mantle. Mine was taken when I must have been about 28st (I started WW at 26 after doing a bit of diet and exercise, but didn't have scales that would weigh me).

The other day, one of my brother's friend's was looking and asking who that was. My brother replied 'that was my sister'. Friend looked at me and her face dropped. She thought that my bro had another sister!
 

SammyE

Silver Member
Thank you, still got a way to go yet though, I want to be a size 10 - 12 really, Ive bought myself three pairs of skinny jeans from primarnie, in a 14, a 12 and a 10, I fit fine in the 14s and can get the 12s pulled up but cant get them done up yet... hopefully another stone and i'll get them done up!
 

Getslimquick

Been liberated by Exante!
SammyE said:
Thank you, still got a way to go yet though, I want to be a size 10 - 12 really, Ive bought myself three pairs of skinny jeans from primarnie, in a 14, a 12 and a 10, I fit fine in the 14s and can get the 12s pulled up but cant get them done up yet... hopefully another stone and i'll get them done up!

Good plan - I found it was about a stone a size on jeans. You are doing well.
You will soon be in those 10s

GSQ
 

spottydoris

Determined to succeed!
It's so tough I know... as mentioned above, just practice saying 'Thank you'.

People like to give compliments, and if you refuse it you are 'discounting' them (buzz word alert!)... we did loads in the LL group counselling sessions about this. Accept the compliment and try giving more out too - it will make you and other people feel better :)

Spots xx
 

Thetrigos

Silver Member
I'm about halfway there with accepting compliments - i'll initially say thank you right off the bat, but then i always follow it with either an excuse (like you with the chunky cardie) or a derogatory comment about myself. I always think to myself after i say thank you that they must think i'm a right bighead, so i try and backpeddle - must work on that :)
 




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