Concerned that I will lose weight but still be ugly.

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by hbb, 6 December 2010 Social URL.

  1. hbb

    hbb Thoroughly Determined

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    I'm sure that losing the weight will totally help your self-esteem - this can't be a bad thing! More confident girl = more desirable! :D Good luck!
    x
     
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  3. sarahlou25

    sarahlou25 Full Member

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    being beautiful is all about being confident... i had the same mindset... but with time i've realised that you just have to live with what your given :) ive grown to love myself and am looking forward to losing more weight, and you've done fantastic so far! Keep positive chuck! :) x
     
  4. Aline

    Aline Gold Member

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    Hun I totally agree with the above advices.

    you have to learn to love and be kind to yourself:) Be confident, be positive;) I'm sure as the time goes on and you meet your weight loss goals you'll feel better.

    And don't compare with others, just be yourself at your best, be your own inspiration :)

    xx
     
  5. syren

    syren from FAT to FIT

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    just the title of this thread made me sad :(

    Jonesy, once you get going and you start to lose weight and notice changes about yourself, your attitude WILL change, you'll start to feel good about yourself and look forward to the person you're going to become and how awesome you are going to look and feel. Get rid of those gloomy thoughts now ! they are only going to get in the way of your progress and you do not want that. I know it must be really hard being surrounded by girls you are constantly comparing yourself to, but remember you've got loads of support on these boards and we can help you get through those dark thoughts and help you persevere through the down times.

    I really appreciate your honesty though.. we've all had these thoughts but not all of us are able to express them. Hang in there :)
     
  6. miss-tri

    miss-tri Full Member

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    Yeah i sometimes feel like that but then i think i cant get any uglier so by losing weight im bound to look abit better and you notice that people who do lose weight do so from their face and so they look better and their features look better too... Also make a decision to treat yourself to a new haircut or new wardrobe or something for when you have lost weight that way you'll better and the change in hair, dress sense or whatever will add to you looking more gorgeous... well thats my opinion anyway :D
     
  7. msblonde

    msblonde a new way of living!

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    I know how you feel, I have lovely boobs at the moment (36DD) but know that they are the first to go!

    But also, the fat around my neck and chin goes too, and gives me a better jaw line.

    but then, I am fairly flat faced (from a profile pic) and would love a bigger nose! (we never love what we have to we! lol)

    my legs are ok at the mo, and quite nice when I am slim, so i try to look at the posistives.

    there is always something we want to change, however, our 'task' really, is to make the most of who we are - we are ment to be this way, its God given, and He loves us even on our most ugly feeling fat day with crazy medusa hair (me on a morning), and we should accept and love ourselves.

    to chill out I have an exercise that I do, I use it for praying too, but if you are not religious you can skip the praying bit:

    sit in a quiet and warm area, breathe deeply, almost like you are sighing for a few mins and drink a hot drink, like tea.

    focus on your mid-chest and solar plexus area feeling warm and calm, keep breathing deeply, and either pray if thats your thing (God, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference) or if you dont want to pray, say comforting things to yourself, 'its ok Jonesy, you are normal, just relax a little, love yourself a little more, its ok' something like that.

    I know some of you may be reaching for the bucket, but this works for me, its a very private thing, so do it alone without announcing your intention to anyone, just take a few mins for you.

    if I am in a busy area I go to the loo, and yes, I have taken tea with me sometimes too ;)

    give your self a love love.

    xx MrsH
     
  8. Greengiraffe

    Greengiraffe Member

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    I know how you feel, I never seem to be enough for me and am really worried that's not going to change when I lose weight. I think the idea that msblonde had about relaxing with yourself and loving yourself is so important. I'm trying to do that myself atm.
     
  9. small steps

    small steps Full Member

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    Jonsey,
    First of all - I love your photo. It shows a really pretty person, so please have more confidence. I hope that you can learn to love yourself. I bet your housemates give you compliments, so accept and believe them.

    Your esteem should not be tied to your weight. Without confidence, what you said in your first posting will happen - you will lose weight and still feel ugly. Sometimes the internal stories we tell ourselves are horrible. You would not dream of saying to your housemates they were ugly - even if they had small boobs, or a walt on their chin. So try showing that level of love to yourself.
     
  10. Katesands8

    Katesands8 Silver Member

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    You know it's a very true saying " First you must love yourself!" You mustn't feel that you're ugly and not wanted and other girls are prettier and thinner, they may very well be but they will in all probability still feel they could be better! It's human nature to rarely be happy with what we've been given!
    First of all you must learn to accept yourself and love yourself for being YOU!! You are UNIQUE and FABULOUS.
    When you accept this about yourself you will find the way you face the world is different!
    You will walk differently, smile more be happier and as you show that confidence it will be returned to you manifold!
    I've never considered myself pretty in anyway but I would say there is something about me I am like you, unique and fabulous! Embrace yourself and face the world because you have a right to it!
     
  11. txgardenia

    txgardenia Full Member

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    Jonesy, i hope you don't take this as being too personal, but I am horrified that you think you are ugly and i wanted to just say: I am a bi woman who thinks your are just gorgeous and i know that my friends would agree with me. Not everyone wants a cookie cutter looking girlfriend, you know! Just because the Daily Mail thinks all women should look like Porn Star Barbie doesn't mean that's what men/women want.


    Did you know that in Brazil, women have breast reductions because having small boobs is the style? And I am sure you'll recall that only 10 years ago, having a tiny bum was the must-have in America and women were starving themselves so their behinds wouldn't make them look "fat". Now having a big bum is the new beautiful. In Africa, girls are sent away once they reach marriageable age, to consume huge amounts of calories and gain a lot of weight so they will be plump enough to land a husband.

    I am sure that big boobs will be out of style in a few years and women with implants will be lining up at the plastic surgeon in a panic to get them sucked out. Frankly it's ridiculous the hoops women are expected to jump through and half the time, looking like Porn Star Barbie is only going to attract the most stupid guys on the planet, not the kind you actually want to be with.

    Anyway, none of that will probably convince you of anything, but seriously... You are not ugly. Please don't let our idiotic, celebrity and plastic surgery obsessed society make you feel inferior. That is what they want. It's a giant marketing machine designed to sell products. Some men buy into it and want girlfriends who look like the current 'ideal', but take a look at those guys. Listen to them talk. They are not anything special themselves and most of them don't even think of women as human beings. A lot of them are just overgrown monkeys. :( Let the monkeys mate with the porn stars and meanwhile, find yourself someone worth your time. Everyone finds a different "look" attractive. You will not be attractive to every man on the planet, any more than every man on the planet will be your ideal. The point isn't to appeal to the most people possible, the point is to appeal to the ones you want to be with. Most people just naturally seek each other out and recognize a mutual attraction.
     
  12. Sonya73

    Sonya73 Full Member

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    you look very attractive to me from your photo! You have an intelligent, sophisticated look to you.

    I'm not 'pretty' in the conventional sense... my oldest, dearest friend (male and gay, for context!) said to me once when I was bemoaning my lack of pretty-ness... 'you are not pretty, pretty is dull and samey anyway - but you are beautiful!' - at the time I wasnt sure whether to be offended or not, but actually I know what he means - I am not sugary, perfect and bland - I have crooked teeth, a cheesy grin, and slightly mad green eyes - but I have character, I am funny, and I like myself better now than I ever have.

    I was reminded of what my friend said when I read Cee-lo Green saying in the guardian... "There was a time when I didn't like myself at all. I thought I was a cruel joke. But now I've come to realise that maybe I am not cute, but I am beautiful.

    He is right - after years of hating the things that make me myself, I now like them, I am what I am!
     
  13. dietgirl24

    dietgirl24 Full Member

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    If you are concerned about your nose, you can try shading the sides with bronzer to make it look smaller-this is just a makeup trick! I think you're nose is fine though :) You have pouty lips so you could play around with different shades of lipstick-I like Lancome lipsticks as they are really moisturising. You have big eyes too so you could use black/brown kohl eyeliner around your eyes, brown eyeshadow, mascara and keep your lips neutral-pink tone lipstick or lipgloss.

    No one looks their best without a lot of hard work (diet, exercise, lots of water) and grooming (dye their hair, straighten it every day, makeup routine, cleanse-tone-moisturise, manicure/pedicure etc) so I wouldn't get too hung up about seeing pretty girls out and about or in magazines. It's not natural, most people don't wake up in the morning looking like Cindy Crawford straight away..

    Also, with clothes, what type of body shape you? I'm guessing hourglass for some reason so you can highlight your waist with belts and cinch in your waist. If you have good arms, show them off etc. Figure out your body type and dress for it. You're pale so cool colours will suit you best :)

    I'd also work on the self-esteem if I were you too. Attractiveness is not solely based on looks tbh. Like if someone is comfortable in their own skin, then they exude a "glow" and a relaxed air and that can be very appealing. Work out your strengths-personality wise and looks wise and maximise them:) Whenever you feel bad, just say "I'm great" to yourself over and over and eventually you will feel great
     
  14. gina_b

    gina_b Les Mills Fitness Freak

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    jonesy, assuming thats you in the icon picture no one can use the word ugly to describe you.

    beauty comes from inside, i classify an ugly person if they have a really bad nasty personality. to me thats ugly.

    what one finds attractive another wont, that will always happen, dont worry about your looks, honestly your incredibly pretty. not everyone looks glamourous and celebrity like, but really how many want to look that fake?
    i dont see why i should have to go out with perfect make up, perfect hair ect, i want someone to accept me as me, not some dolled up barbie.

    your a stunner, embrace your natural beauty girl!
     
  15. Nini89

    Nini89 Full Member

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    I just thought this was an absolutely beautiful piece of advice!! Made me feel better too. Listen to this lady, she's wise. :). And of course, jonesy we all know how you feel. We support you. :-D x
     
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