CuddlePaws - Just you wait and see!

[CuddlePaws]

Month 2 - Day 22

Oh dear. It's not going to be good again I'm afraid! Yesterday was the beginning of yet another awful weekend. Third stuffed up weekend in a row to be precise!!

We took our poor old dog up to her vet appointment at 10am and the vet said it would be kinder to put her to sleep as she was just too old and not in good state of health. So thats what happened, although I couldn't stay with her (wish I had but I was a bit hysterical) so I paced around outside feeling quite sick while OH took over.

When that was all done OH and I staggered off to a nearby cafe for coffee, both red-eyed and miserable. We just both sat there silently crying our eyes out. People must have thought we were mad lol. After a bit, he said we should eat something to keep our energy up and even though I had felt a bit of a tummy ache that morning too, I stupidly ignored it and ate a egg/sausage baguette with COFFEE.

Got home 1/2 hour later only to begin suffering BAD with tummy cramps. THEN came the shotgun diarrhea (can anyone ever spell that word?) which kicked in so bad last night, I was up nearly the whole night staggering to the loo with OH standing there helping me clean up (hmm how romantic?) Thought that I was going to die on the toilet, it just would NOT STOP!! And poor OH also kept having to get up for the little one as he must have sensed something wrong and kept tetching most of the night. He was running around the two of us last night, I'm surprised he has not run away by now lol.

Today I feel just a little more alive. Just toast again for me at the moment as I really can't bear the thought of anything else! OH has taken the little one to the park so I can get some more rest.Bless him. So have had all this to contend with plus hearing my teenage son sobbing in his room over the dog all night, and not having the strength/energy to go and console him. It sucks!

Well if there is anything GOOD to come out of this story it is the fact that the scales showed 5lbs weight loss this morning, but I know that that is loss of fluids not fat. Oh well teeny consolation considering the terrible day. When I come out of the other end of this drama i'll be straight back on the wii and back into gear with the diet!

 

[Lind]

CP, you poor thing :cry:, if that was me I would have gone straight to the pub and drunk and ate my own body weight I think.

Why is it that once something bad happens there seems to be a snowball effect and everything is messed up for a little while?

I think if you even stick to your diet just a little bit you'll be doing fantastic.

Things will be ok.

 

[Georgiestar]

aww, I've read most of your diary, i just hope things get better soon, your doing great, you have been a star with the excersise, unlike me i havent been to the gym all last week and only went once the week before.

 

[CuddlePaws]

Aw thank you ladies, so nice to have your support. xx

Yeah Linds, the only reason I probably didn't stuff my face yesterday, is because I couldn't get off the toilet, plus if I did I would probably end up in hospital getting the junk pumped out! OMG still can't face more than a bit of toast at the minute!

Thanks Georgiestar, it really does feel like asnowball effect since the New Year. I'm really praying that after today things will ease up a bit, cos it's ridiculous.

I think the dieting/exercise has sustained me in many ways, I've felt stronger physically than I think I might have been a stone and a half ago! At the very least all that exercise made me strong enough to keep getting up and going to the loo all night lol.

It's funny I sort of miss the wii exercise after 2 days now. Am I becoming addicted??? I never thought it was possible, but people say it is!

Tomorrow I must ease myself gently back into my diet and keep on fighting on! I think if all the last few weeks haven't thrown me off the rails completely, I can really achieve this without any doubts.

I know my weight will fluctuate and I will get some iffy days too, but overall I think I am mostly on the straight and narrow. It took a whole lot of mental struggle but I feel I may finally be getting there after over 20 years battling with food!!

 

[CuddlePaws]

Month 2 - Day 23

Right! Got myself sorted today. Ate a little more than yesterday (which was just toast!) and bought 'My Fitness Coach' for the wii! Ok I love the wii fit but I was thinking I could do with a little variation now and again so I went ahead and got this one after reading so many good reviews.

Well it took me half an hour to input all my stats, not sure I wanted to know most of them lol.. but anyway I guess its all geared towards a more 'personal' workout. My fitness levels still came out a bit below ideal, and when Maya the workout trainer put me through my paces, I realised I could hardly keep up at all!!! Even though she was meant to devise it according to my fitness level!! Oh dear, must still be a bit iffy after that sickness I just had. :O

Anyway I pushed right on and did 30 mins cardio training. Love exercise now and really feel horrible without doing it for a few days. Feeling much more positive too and hoping that this Thursday will see a little more weight drop pleaseeeeeee, i think i deserve it this week!!

 

[Barb]

I think you deserve it too!Poor CP, so sorry to hear about your dog and then you being so poorly, what a rotten time you have had.

Hope you continue to feel better and looking forward to your results on Thursday!

Love

 

[Georgiestar]

yay go you, im back into my excersise too.

 

[CuddlePaws]

Month 2 - Day 25

So here we are again!

Tomorrow is my weigh day. 'Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free' lol

Had a good day overall! Did 30 mins of My Fitness Coach. That Maya is a reallllllllllll slave driver!! Found myself face down on the couch panting like a mad woman after 15 minutes of cardio exercise, but I'm really in the zone again!

I think my tummy bug helped me throw some lbs down the toilet this week, so im hoping I didnt gain too much back. Haven't checked the scales since so I have no idea where I am at. I'm a little worried though, because I started the mini-pill this week under my doctors suggestion, and one of the side effects of that is weight gain. Noooooo!! That would just be totally mean after all my efforts lol

Anyhow, I'm feeling positive about tomorrow morning as I really would like to get the offending lbs moving. Good luck me!!

 

[Georgiestar]

oh great, wow i really want a wii fit!

 

[CuddlePaws]

4lb off this week again!! Woohoo..

:bliss:

 

[Lind]

Yay 4lb that is fabulous!!!
I have pulled my back and haven't exercised all week and I feel so lazy and lifeless. I'm going swimming this afternoon on my GP's suggestion and maybe that will wake me up a bit.

 

[Georgiestar]

wow!

 

[Barb]

4lbs is flipping brilliant - you are doing soooooooooo well CP!

You are now my inspiration - seriously, seeing you doing so well really makes me think ' CP, she is so good, doing so well, I want to do what she's doing'.

Well done CP, keep going, your dream is really getting nearer every day.

Love

 

[CuddlePaws]

Thank you Barb...my goodness I'm humbled to think I can inspire anyone. What a lovely thing to say! If it helps you then I am honoured.

I seem to be on a loop of +1 lb, -4 lbs at the moment which is a bit odd! But looking at it from an overall perspective doesn't seem quite so bad!

I tried in vain to get some exercise done last night but I was just too tired after a busy day. Managed only 10 mins before crashing to the sofa with fatigue. OH has let me sleep in today, so feel much better now, and just had a sachet of oats-so-simple plus toast.

I'm really fired up to not make the scales a +1 lb this week, so I'm going to try and be more aware of any tiny nibbles that blindly slip in!

 

[Barb]

It is your 'average' that counts CP and the 'trend'; you average is good and your trend is downwards, it doesn't get any better than that!

Love

 

[CuddlePaws]

Month 3 - Day 1

So we are into March and I'm still raring to go with all things health related

Today I landed back in that marina-side Italian restaurant, and again chose salad as a starter accompanied with lasagne for a main course. I was feeling quite bloated after this and only managed a weight watchers chocolate brownie for tea followed by a banana for some energy

I had bran flakes for breakfast so I don't really mind this odd combination today. I did 15 mins of My Fitness Coach, and today it was a core body workout. It really is quite tough and she packs a punch into those 15 mins I can tell you I was panting away! The only thing I can't seem to do is the jumping jacks, a) because I have heavy milk-filled boobs which feel like they are going to bash into my chin and explode into my face b) I just find jumping way too high-intensity for me right now. I am ok with jogging on the spot because I can do it sort of 'lightly' but hey, I guess we can't have it all!

Ah well, today has been goodish overall. I am learning to compromise with my desires and faults, and I feel quite positive about this month!

 

[Georgiestar]

wow, well done on your choice at the restraunt I've had a few blips this weekend, not much damage though, but ill be back on the wagon tomorrow.

reading your post, I've just realised its march!

 

[CuddlePaws]

Month 3 - Day 4

Okay guys, I don't know whether this post is more of little whinge or a cry for a big kick up the butt. I feel my resolve slipping (a bit). I had a burger king chicken meal last night and one of those icecreams that come with sauce and bits in :break_diet:

I didn't do any exercise either, but mostly that was due to the little one not settling till after 10pm and by that point I'd had enough and went to bed.

Today I thought to myself 'RIGHT thats it' back to my usual disciplinary measures! Don't know what happened then, before I know it I was having steak and veg and a chocolate ice cream crepe in town. :sigh:

I feel terrible now. I want to think that its just an off day (or 2 lol) but somethings nagging me that my resolve might be slipping a little. Its not totm time, but I fear my mood could be the result of sneaky weigh ins and seeing so much fluctuation. My weight has gone up a pound or two this week and its not going to have gone down by tomorrow weigh in :cry:

I'm also getting a bit fed up of Wii Fit telling me I'm obese at every session so I'm trying to concentrate on doing My Fitness Coach instead which is much harder and I can only manage 15 mins!! I just think I might be feeling a little 'low' cos of all this and not realising it, is that possible? Every day I pass those lovely clothes shops in town and I still can't fit into anything below a size 20.

I fully intend to exercise tonight btw. Please girls kick me up the butt.

 

[Lind]

CP consider this a kick up the bum!! lol
You are doing absouletly fine, and staek and veg isn't like having another Buger King is it?
Just concerntrate on the good stuff, look at how far you have come already. Not just weight but your mind set and the exercise you have included into your life.
Nobody would blame you for not exercising at 10pm at night, let alon after a restless little person to deal with on top of that. Think of all the calories you probably burned just running up and down stairs half the evening.
And sneaky weigh ins?..... We are all guilty of that!!
So lovely lady don't worry and don't be so hard on yourself, things happen that sometimes you don't plan for but you just have to climb back on the wagon and keep going.
:gen126:

 

[CuddlePaws]

Lind your words are a gentle pat on my heart xx And thank you for that kick up the butt; great emoticon lol!!

After showing hubby my post, he also thinks I'm being a bit hard on myself. I mean I could have gone off the rails all day/night and it was only a meal or two.

I wish that I wasn't so hard on myself. I just want so desperately to not FAIL this year. Don't think I could cope with the disappointment! Funny how that can sort of pressure can put you in the mood to over-eat, ironically!