Diary of a Bikini Bride

Discussion in 'CD Weight Loss Diaries' started by KatieBoo, 11 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Hi All,

    Ok its Day 1 of Cambridge and I'm feeling excited, happy and hopeful!!

    I am getting married next year on the beach and I'm determined to look AMAZING!

    My weight affects every part of my life. My self-esteem is zero even though everyone thinks I'm a confident person, it's all an act. I hate myself and it affects my job - look awful in all clothes so hide and never dress properly for my job - it affects my love life - we have a wonderful relationship but I feel unworthy of his love and the abundance of affection he showers on me - and it affects my family - I feel like the loser, fat, runt of the litter.

    I know it's not going to be easy but I'm sick of taking the easy way out as it only leaves me more depressed and fatter! :cry:I love this forum as everyone is so supportive! :)

    It's time to make a change and stop making excuses! I'm doing this for me - to allow me to appreciate life and stop hiding under the duvet, not wanting to go out until its dark and people can't see how big I am.

    This is it! I'm ready!! Bring. It. On!!! :D
     
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  3. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    I am starting today too, let me know how you are getting on! So far I have had my porridge which I didnt make very well! Very runny oops!

    I feel the same as you and I am going to be a bridesmaid in February so want to look amazing by then! Maybe we can provide support to each other. Good luck hunxx
     
  4. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Hi C-L,

    Had my porridge too but did the opposite and didn't put in enough water and it turned to concrete in the microwave!! Ha! Added a bit more hot water though and it actually wasn't that bad. Given that I hate porridge due to the texture, I did quite enjoy it! :) Which one did you have? I had the apple one - it was good! This is meal one day one though so trying to keep up the enthusiasm as long as possible!! :)

    Would love to have someone to do this with! Keep me posted on how you're getting on especially as the first few days are supposed to be hardest till we get in ketosis.

    I started the day with half a litre of water while in bed watching gossip girl - didn't want to go to work! Now have a large water bottle on my desk I'm working through plus on my 2nd cup of green tea - supposed to be very helpful.

    Good luck for today!! xxx
     
  5. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    that sounds good already! I have had only half a litre so far - so need to keep going! I went and bought some 2 litre bottles for my desk too! I just had an email about our xmas party and all the yummy food on it! ha ha not good!

    I had the maple one was quite sweet but ok considering it was runny!
    I have Oriental soup for lunch so will see how that goes....

    Yes i think the first 3-5 days are meant to be the worst! I really hope I can stick with this until xmas at least!

    where are you from?
     
  6. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Yeah I was going to have a soup but thought I'd leave it for dinner and have a banana shake instead - we'll see what it's like! Tell me what you think of the soup.

    You don't have much to lose at all and I'm sure you'll succeed - just keep to your goals!

    I have over twice as much to get rid of and am determined to do it! :)

    I live in London hun - you?
    xxx
     
  7. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    I live in London too! Im in East but and from West originally. I think its all the pie and mash i eat! lol

    Im hungry so will let you know soon! I have a choc mint shake for later and then can have a small dinner! Are you doing SS or SS+?

    Lets stay positive!
     
  8. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    SS all the way for me. Go hard or go home! Haha!

    As I have so much to lose I need to do this to get the majority of it off. It's better for me anyway as removing the food element completely will make it easier in a way. Worrying about what I can and can't have, then having a little extra or something "bad" all inevitably leads to more bad!

    As I comfort eat I need to re-educate myself on how to eat properly and not rush to those go-to foods to make me feel better.

    Plus its usually the hangovers that are the worst - hello Dominos!! - so no alcohol is a big part of it for me!

    Drink more water if hungry! It really helps curb your appetite, plus will make your skin glow! Skinny bod and glowing skin - bonus! :) xxx
     
  9. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    very strong well done!

    I know what you mean, I think you are right about the alcohol and the hangovers.

    I feel bad for my boyfriend as we usually sit and have dinner in the evening so at least if I do the SS+ we can still do that.

    Sitting in the office is bad for me with everyone snacking on crisps, cakes and Biscuits!
     
  10. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    I know the office is tough but thankfully they're all quite health conscious here so its only birthday really that the cakes come out to play!

    Don't you worry about the boyfriend - it's your time to be selfish and do this for you - I'm sure he will thank you for it when you feel super sexy and confident at Xmas!!

    I told mine that this is what I'm doing, I need full and total support no matter what and he has to eat tuna every day for dinner as I hate it!! Hahaha! He said he'll eat while I'm in the shower then we can snuggle and watch a movie together - perfect! :)
     
  11. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    Very supportive...bless him :)

    I had the soup but picked up Leek and Potato instead of Oriental Chilli! It was quite nice. A lady at work said that the tast of the soups etc stay with you so she has advised me to drinking sparling water as this helps get rid of the taste! It wasn't lumpy and had an ok flavour :)n I am still peckish though!
     
  12. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Argh wrote a response to this the my computer crashed! The joy of technology! :)

    Umm think I said I had the banana shake which was good and had it as late as possible to shorten the gap to dinner.

    Am feeling a bit acidy since this morning which sucks but is hopefully a temporary side effect as don't want to take anything to get in the way of ketosis.

    Nearly one day down - yay us!!! xxx
     
  13. spangles

    spangles Bouncy Castle

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    welcome!

    i dunno, been wondering for ages where the other londoners must be, and then two come along at once. ;)

    The enthusiasm that comes across in your opening post, miss boo, is brilliant. re-read it to yourself in tempting times. you will be a beach-babe bride. and enjoy the holiday from all that conflicting stuff you feel about food. I wish i'd done this years ago, and i bet you will too. :)
     
  14. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    ha ha how strange - what part of London are you from Spangles?

    just tried half a pack of the choc mint shake - saving the other half for a hot choc later as im working late. Today has been surpisingly good!
     
  15. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Thanks Spangles!! Will try to keep positive but I know it's not an easy road paved with chocolate so am ready for a fight to get this flab off!

    Defo wish I have done this a long time ago! You are doing brilliantly, I'm very jealous you are already in week 10 but I'll get there no matter what! xxx
     
  16. emsiem

    emsiem Full Member

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    Wow what positive posts, this forum is brilliant for making you smile when you need it :)

    Keep it all up girls and shout anytime you need xx
     
  17. spangles

    spangles Bouncy Castle

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    charlie - i'm from herne hill (between brixton and dulwich).
     
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  19. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    Good luck Katie day two.....

    Thanks emsiem! :)

    Oh I know where that is my friend lived there-keep up the good work xx
     
  20. KatieBoo

    KatieBoo Full Member

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    Yes Day 2 - Hurrah!

    All fine so far! Had a bit of a cry last night - self-pity for getting my self into this stupid situation in the first place. Lovely fiance snuggle solved it quickly though!

    Ended up drinking 4 1/2 litres of water yesterday and 4 cups of green tea as well as my packs. And joy of joys they are refurbing the toilets on my office block so don't have the luxury of one on my floor anymore so have to race upstairs every two minutes! At least it gets a bit more exercise in :)

    I'm more missing the idea of food rather than being actually hungry. Smells are getting to me so find myself walking around breathing through my mouth!! Am sure I look crazy!!

    Quite tired this morning, but no more than a usual work day. I think I was excited yesterday morning so was up early watching Gossip Girl on tv and drinking my water with vigour! This morning - not so much :) Slept until the last second before dragging my weary bones to the tube.

    Same apple porridge again today but crazy busy work means I didn't have it until half an hour ago. Will endeavour to eat brekkie earlier to kick start my metabolism.

    I know its stupid but was quite hoping for that "thin" feeling this morning. You know the one you get when you haven't eaten in ages? I think the water is filling me up massively so need to keep that up. Only a litre down so far.

    Still feel elephantine but enthusiastic! :)

    How's everyone else doing this morning??
    xxxxxxx
     
  21. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    Amazing.....So much water! Well done!

    Dont cry - at least you are on the right track now :)

    I managed 2 litres of sparkling water, 1 500ml bottle of evian and about 3 glasses! No idea what that makes.

    I managed to make the apple porridge today actually look like porridge! It was ok but think i preferred the maple.
    Looking forqrd to trying the Oriental Chilli for lunch!

    Off to Zumba tonight - never been before as I usually do street dance so here goes nothing!

    Let me know how you get on today.

    Hopefully this forum will help us a long the way x
     
  22. charlie-lauren

    charlie-lauren Full Member

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    by the way are you feeling freezing as well as peeing loads! i had to get up at 5:20am for a wee!!! sorry to be gross!
     
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