Diary of a Newbie - I need your help!

[indiebabe]

I totally agree! It is my bible, I take it shopping and use it to make shopping lists and recipes. I've only just, rather naively, realised that there are little 'HE' symbols next to foods that you can use as healthy extras, and got rather excited! I am looking into buying the book on low syn/syn free snacks - have you had any experience with this?

Charlie xx

Charlie, I didn't know about the HE thing, that's brilliant! I'm going to have a look!
The low syn book sounds excellent - I haven't heard about that. Have you looked through a copy? Sounds so useful!

Do you know whether sw does an eating out guide? I know there is one in the food directory but it's fairly limited. We eat at places like slug & lettuce and pitcher & piano a lot and they're not in it, also the cafe eat and nandos etc just wondered if they'd ever produced one? x x

 

[indiebabe]

It has always affected me when my skinnier friends comment on my portion sizes. Even now my flatmate can see I'm losing weight despite eating more than she does, but still comments. Today she couldn't believe I was hungry at 4pm, even though I'd only had a bowl of noodles at 12. I wish people were a little more sensitive when commenting on others' food habits!

Charlie x x x

Definitely!! I think some of us just hav bigger appetites and need more food, and that doesn't always relate to your size either! I have friends who eat buckets and are totally skinny and I have a mate who is very overweight but she can't finish a macdonalds happy meal as it's 'just too much' she usually takes it home and reheats the rest later! Lol! I think I could eat two of them and still want more! x x

 

[cupcake87]

Morning!

Still off, went to Dr's this morning and have been subscribed more antibiotics as the infection is still there. Also am not allowed to drive on these tablets and so have been given a sick note for another week :-(

Am pleased to not have to rush back to work as don't feel well enough and dont have the energy but just want to feel better!!

Don't worry about what you ate over the weekend, weekends are really tough and its the hardest time to stick to anything. I keep planning 100% weeks in my head but in reality that's so hard to do. Do you fancy having a pact to have 100% days this week until Friday and see how we go?

I hope I have lost this week but after the kfc who knows! I don't know if I'm going to WI tonight, depends if the o/h will take me down as I obv can't drive there myself!

Am starting to feel desperate to do some
Exercise but am so exhausted all the time - tried to Hoover on saturday but felt all dizzy and my mum had to do it - pathetic! Have been doing sit ups but not sure if they help when you're not doing anything else!

Totally agree that the food directory is a bible - I did an online asda shop yesterday as am not able to drive and it was amazing coz I could really take time to look through the book as I was buying things, would highly recommend doing it that way!

Hope you're having a good day and it's warmer where you are than here, I'm frozen today! x x

Yessss! online is so much easier i loved it, o/h wont let me now as we have the car back. . and the fact i kept sneaking things in lol !!!!

Chilly cold here too! but being cold helps you burn calories apparantly. . so im resisting the heater . . for the time being!

Every little helps, few sit ups a day dont seem much when you do them but if you keep doing them they help build a good foundation .. . i used to do them every night, then decided they wernt doing anything and stopped and since then my stomach sticks out more than it used too, i used to only see porky on my hips so i so ive started again, along with 10 press up's (girly ones) each morning might help the arms a bit i figured!

Yesss i am deffo up for that pact! 100% till friday. . .sounds simple, i might try planning meals this week !

Aww more anti botics!! that sucks do you rattle when you walk yet :8855: lol. id be going crazy bored not being able to do anything xxx

 

[*radleygirl*]

Hi Indiebabe,

Have been reading your diary and you have had it rough with your illnesses. I can completely sympathize I struggle a lot with my health and so trying to stick to SW is hard when I sometimes can hardly breath. Just thought I would reply to this so that it is in my subscriptions.

Adelle x

 

[indiebabe]

Yessss! online is so much easier i loved it, o/h wont let me now as we have the car back. . and the fact i kept sneaking things in lol !!!!

Chilly cold here too! but being cold helps you burn calories apparantly. . so im resisting the heater . . for the time being!

Every little helps, few sit ups a day dont seem much when you do them but if you keep doing them they help build a good foundation .. . i used to do them every night, then decided they wernt doing anything and stopped and since then my stomach sticks out more than it used too, i used to only see porky on my hips so i so ive started again, along with 10 press up's (girly ones) each morning might help the arms a bit i figured!

Yesss i am deffo up for that pact! 100% till friday. . .sounds simple, i might try planning meals this week !

Aww more anti botics!! that sucks do you rattle when you walk yet :8855: lol. id be going crazy bored not being able to do anything xxx

Haha, ooh they're so bossy aren't they! I've persuade my oh about the joys of online since I said we'd have to go together on a Saturday - he got ao annoyed with all the other shoppers that he's now quite happy to have it delivered!

I've heard that about cold making you burn calories, but I'm so grumpy when I'm cold that I've turned the heater up! Oops!

Have just had a gorgeous big bowl of pasta and veg for lunch, not great for WI later as it was massive! But very lovely! Gammon, egg and jacket potatoes for dinner - as long as the asda shop comes in time!

Well impressed with you doing girly press ups - I can't even do them! I might resort to liftin baked bean cans to try and tone my arms though - they are rather wobbly!

Definitely rattling, and totally fed up! x x

 

[cupcake87]

Awww! tell you what im really impressed your sticking to it so well while ill... when im ill i see it as a total excuse to eat what i want. . if i feel up to eating lol ! so just think how much better you will feel about the whole thing when your better!! ooh im liking the baked bean tin idea!!! gradually moving up to bags of sugar?! home made weights very creative

Haha i do that the heater got clicked on a few minutes ago my back was knotting up from shivering. . i used to have a desk by the rad but the boss moved me so more heat got in the room which is actually appearing to be true lol

Haha my o.h tried to send me on a sat morning without him, so i took him one day and he agreed we would both go one weekday after work he puts sooo much junk in tho, this week he put in, cookies (two bags), angel cake slices, bakewell cake slices, wotsits, bisucits, tesco mint choc chip cornettos (my favorites ) , pizza, gateaux and bagels and moaned when i suggested a melon as well as the pinapple he wanted. . . cheeky bugger when it was all layed on the till he did admit he had gone a bit crazy . . . i aked him if he felt guilty at all . . his response. . im trying to gain weight its equally as harsh for you to ban junk food as it is for me to have it lol - kind of true but i did point out he will appreciate the weight loss as much as i will whereas i couldnt give a monkeys uncle if he changed so i think he listened lol !

Im sure this lots of tablets will sort you out!!!! x

 

[indiebabe]

Awww! tell you what im really impressed your sticking to it so well while ill... when im ill i see it as a total excuse to eat what i want. . if i feel up to eating lol ! so just think how much better you will feel about the whole thing when your better!! ooh im liking the baked bean tin idea!!! gradually moving up to bags of sugar?! home made weights very creative

Haha i do that the heater got clicked on a few minutes ago my back was knotting up from shivering. . i used to have a desk by the rad but the boss moved me so more heat got in the room which is actually appearing to be true lol

Haha my o.h tried to send me on a sat morning without him, so i took him one day and he agreed we would both go one weekday after work he puts sooo much junk in tho, this week he put in, cookies (two bags), angel cake slices, bakewell cake slices, wotsits, bisucits, tesco mint choc chip cornettos (my favorites ) , pizza, gateaux and bagels and moaned when i suggested a melon as well as the pinapple he wanted. . . cheeky bugger when it was all layed on the till he did admit he had gone a bit crazy . . . i aked him if he felt guilty at all . . his response. . im trying to gain weight its equally as harsh for you to ban junk food as it is for me to have it lol - kind of true but i did point out he will appreciate the weight loss as much as i will whereas i couldnt give a monkeys uncle if he changed so i think he listened lol !

Im sure this lots of tablets will sort you out!!!! x

Well I weighed in last night and have lost 2Ibs! So pleased!

Def feel like eating junk coz I'm off I'll but keep thinking that if I stick to it now and get used to the plan while I'm at home and can prepare nice foods it will be easier when I get back to work. Plus it would be nice to go back to work a bit thinner than when I went off!

I like the idea of moving upto bags of sugar after my tins of beans - skinny arms before you know it . I keep lying in bed at night and planning all my exercises for the next day - today I planned to do davinas DVD, but then I wake up and feel so crappy that I lay on the sofa all day! Maybe the psychological effect of planning exercise will burn some cals anyway? Haha!

I can't believe how much your o/h bought! That's insane!! My o/h isn't a massive chocolate fan which means we dont have much in, he loves custard creams but I'm not that keen so they don't bother me. He does like nice puddings though and that bothers me, and he keeps saying - 'you could just have one bit though, it won't matter' which is exactly how I've ended up the size I have!

How did yesterday go? Did you manage 100%? I did, but only used 5.5 syns, I seemed to lose better last week using 10 so I'm going to try and aim for 10 today.

Have you done your WI? Fingers crossed for you x x

 

[cupcake87]

Oooh 2lbs well done!!!
Ahem yes i did do my weigh in i gained 3lbs. . . still not quite sure how this has happened, im getting a bit disheartened i nearly picked up the slim fast this morning but thought ill give it a good solid week, with exercise and a full on attack and see what happens, am finding it hard to keep going though! did go for a run this morning tho so im hoping that will have done something, im also trying to blame it on "heavy" food yesterday lol ! so lots of light salads for the next few days lol !

Haha yeaahh i love it when they do that mine had a maccy d's and a usa chicken at the weekend and both times offered me some lol.

Im sure planning exercise helps to burn calories!! I dunno if its true but they recon the less you do the more tired you feel, so maybe doing a few little bits of something might help you feel a bit better get the blood pumping lol i brought myself a re bounder last year meant to be really good exercise, but the o/h put laminate flooring down at xmas so im not allowed to bounce on that anymore, kitchen is vynal so cant use it in there and im not alllowed upstairs coz ill weaken the floor boards. . . cheeky! so im gunna have to do it outside when the sun starts shining again!!

I know, i told him im going to do the shop at lunch that way he doesnt get a choice coz he wont be there lol! plus means i can replace the angel cake slice i almost ate on sunday (unwrapped put in mouth chewed thought oh no and ran to bin to spit out lol!) so i need to replace that before he finds out lol!

Yeah i managed 100% yesterday had 6 syns i think in total xx

 

[indiebabe]

Oooh 2lbs well done!!!
Ahem yes i did do my weigh in i gained 3lbs. . . still not quite sure how this has happened, im getting a bit disheartened i nearly picked up the slim fast this morning but thought ill give it a good solid week, with exercise and a full on attack and see what happens, am finding it hard to keep going though! did go for a run this morning tho so im hoping that will have done something, im also trying to blame it on "heavy" food yesterday lol ! so lots of light salads for the next few days lol !

Haha yeaahh i love it when they do that mine had a maccy d's and a usa chicken at the weekend and both times offered me some lol.

Im sure planning exercise helps to burn calories!! I dunno if its true but they recon the less you do the more tired you feel, so maybe doing a few little bits of something might help you feel a bit better get the blood pumping lol i brought myself a re bounder last year meant to be really good exercise, but the o/h put laminate flooring down at xmas so im not allowed to bounce on that anymore, kitchen is vynal so cant use it in there and im not alllowed upstairs coz ill weaken the floor boards. . . cheeky! so im gunna have to do it outside when the sun starts shining again!!

I know, i told him im going to do the shop at lunch that way he doesnt get a choice coz he wont be there lol! plus means i can replace the angel cake slice i almost ate on sunday (unwrapped put in mouth chewed thought oh no and ran to bin to spit out lol!) so i need to replace that before he finds out lol!

Yeah i managed 100% yesterday had 6 syns i think in total xx

Oh I'm sorry you've put on. That's really rubbish. Have just weighed myself on my home scales and am 2lbs heavier on them today than yesterday so weight does fluctuate ridiculously.(am a bit if a serial home weigher) Am not surprised you feel a bit disheartened though. Def have a 100% week, do what exercise you can and then review it. It's a horrible feeling when you're trying and it's not coming off!

I would love a rebounder, my mum lent hers to a friend and never got it back and she had said I could have it - gutted! They're not expensive though are they so maybe I should invest! Oh that's so annoying that you have nowhere to do it, couldn't you put a big mat down to protect the floor an do it on that or something?

I think you're right about the less you do the less you want to do, I'm just struggling with having so little energy. Might try something little like going up and down the stairs a few times and see how I feel. Plus anything that works on my wobbly thighs has to be a good thing!

Haha-love the idea of you spitting out the cake with a guilty look! I honestly think if I'd got that far I'd have just eaten it. Well done you!!

Quite focused for another 100% day although not sure whether to have milk or cheese as my hexa today - fancy a bowl of cereal and a cheesy omelette...hmm, decisions! x x

 

[cupcake87]

Yeah i think it can massivly depend on how much water as well, lol im a serial weigher as well, took a lot of effort to keep off them this week.

Haha i just did the same with a pack of reeces peanut butter peices . . i couldnt control myself buying them or opening them but once i had a good chew i spat them out horrified lol! the rest got chucked in the work wheely bin its weird tho im fine to spit the stuff out (sounds gross !) but all i kept thinking was think of the syns think of the syns !!!!!! lol i may have no restraint in buying or opening but somehow its only the taste i need lol ! weird huh!

Seriously the guilty look was bad the cat was watching me munch it, thing was i thought it would be lush but it was al soggy from the icing and just didnt taste that great and all i could think was think how much damage your gunna do for something thats not even that nice lol!!!

Hmmm i allways end up doing green coz i struggle with only one hex mmmm cereal. . . have to say i loooovve cereal so i would hit that up lol buuutt the amounts your allowed for cereal are pitifull and youl still be hungry the omlette will be more filling. . and lower carbs ! and more protein!!! lol

yeah up and down the stairs is a good idea, ive started doing squats at work everytime i have to visit the filing cabinet (provided there is no one around) i figure the odd 5 here and there are bound to do something!!

off to tesco now . . wish me luck so i dont buy anything naughty lol! x

 

[indiebabe]

Hi Indiebabe,

Have been reading your diary and you have had it rough with your illnesses. I can completely sympathize I struggle a lot with my health and so trying to stick to SW is hard when I sometimes can hardly breath. Just thought I would reply to this so that it is in my subscriptions.

Adelle x

Hi Adelle!

Thanks so much for your post, I have only just spotted it so I'm sorry to have not replied sooner.

I'm sorry you struggle with your health, I can totally appreciate how hard it is to follow a diet when you feel unwell. I think it makes you feel that you can't be bothered to make anything and so makes it much easier to just go for what ever is easy rather than healthy. Medication side effects don't help either - the latest tablets they've got me on have caused my gums to become inflamed and so eating nice fruits just hurts! :cry:

Thanks for following my diary and if you need any support you know where to find me

Claire x x

 

[indiebabe]

Yeah i think it can massivly depend on how much water as well, lol im a serial weigher as well, took a lot of effort to keep off them this week.

Haha i just did the same with a pack of reeces peanut butter peices . . i couldnt control myself buying them or opening them but once i had a good chew i spat them out horrified lol! the rest got chucked in the work wheely bin its weird tho im fine to spit the stuff out (sounds gross !) but all i kept thinking was think of the syns think of the syns !!!!!! lol i may have no restraint in buying or opening but somehow its only the taste i need lol ! weird huh!

Seriously the guilty look was bad the cat was watching me munch it, thing was i thought it would be lush but it was al soggy from the icing and just didnt taste that great and all i could think was think how much damage your gunna do for something thats not even that nice lol!!!

Hmmm i allways end up doing green coz i struggle with only one hex mmmm cereal. . . have to say i loooovve cereal so i would hit that up lol buuutt the amounts your allowed for cereal are pitifull and youl still be hungry the omlette will be more filling. . and lower carbs ! and more protein!!! lol

yeah up and down the stairs is a good idea, ive started doing squats at work everytime i have to visit the filing cabinet (provided there is no one around) i figure the odd 5 here and there are bound to do something!!

off to tesco now . . wish me luck so i dont buy anything naughty lol! x

Hope you made it round tesco without buying anything off plan!

I ended up sorting paperwork this morning and so had a banana and didn't eat any cereal, have decided to attempt the sw quiche for lunch and have used my cheese on that so I hope it's lovely - otherwise I'll be licking the cheese off the top!

I haven't tried the green or red plan - I just love ee coz I feel like I don't really have to think about it, I just eat a lot!

Loving the idea of sneaking round the corner and squatting by the filing cabinet - then spitting peanut butter pieces in the bin. I hope no-one saw you! you could be getting some very funny looks I think 5 squats here and there will def do something though, just keep at it!

Do you not have enough syns left to actually swallow some of the things you enjoy? I feel like you're so deprived! Otherwise you're just going to keep feeling guilty which is awful - you shouldn't! x x

 

[cupcake87]

Yay made it round tesco's with no junk. . o/h wont appreciate it but i figure he has enough to keep him going lol !

I ddoooo technicaly have the syns but the problem for me is massively once i allow myself one thing i then cant stop, im ok with syns as far as butter/mayo/ketchup etc go or a ryvita or something but as soon as i hit actual chocolate/cake/naughty stuff once i start i have a MASSIVE craving for it and cant leave alone so when ive ended up with something in my mouth i know will lead to this i tend to try and spit it out lol if at all possible coz i know if i eat that one i wont have the will power to resist the next one and the next one lol !

I know i have to make sure no one is coming luckily its pretty quiet down here so im fairly safe .

I know if anyone saw me they would think im very strange, one guy came the room when i was doing the squats the other day but i was already "squatted" so to speak so just made out i was looking for extra paper for the photo copier. . think i got away with it lol!

Hahah i have a great image of you licking the cheese off . . hope it turned out nice?! x

 

[indiebabe]

Totally sympathise with your binge eating of sweet stuff once you have some - I have a mate like that, she eats so well and then she only has to have one biscuit and before she knows it shes eaten a pack of biscuits and half a cake or a load of chocolate bars, she once rang me crying as shed eaten 3 mars bars, a milky way, a pack of chocolate hob nobs and 6 packs of doritos. it's like her brain just stops thinking and she just eats. I guess it shows a bit of a difficult r'ship with food really?

Had another 100% day yesterday but feeling fat and crap today. Don't know why, just don't feel right. Am really hungry too so planning hard for today to
Make sure I don't fall off the wagon!

Going to put the wii on now, even if i only manage 10 minutes at least I will have done something! x x

Ps - the sw quiche was lovely so i got to eat it all, not just the cheese! x x

 

[charliemm]

I'm not sure if there's an eating out guide, although it would be very handy if there was! Perhaps you could ask next time you are at group? Or if you are an online member, have a look at the book section? From browsing the threads on here, it seems lots of people have a stab at making their own syn values for food they eat out, by counting syns of all the individual components. Not sure if this is very accurate, but if there is no alternative it would be a good way of trying to keep track!

Charlie x

 

[cupcake87]

Oooh glad the quiche was nice, i was giggling over the image of licking cheese off the top lol!

Im terrible, i cant eat one thing out of a pack. . i brought a pack of those kinder choc bars. . admiteddly they are small ish 8 in a pack. . tho whole lot were gone before lunch not smart so now im working on training myself not to buy it in the first place lol. I know i once got so carried away when the o/h went off on a stag do and the girls came over we ate soo much junk food, i actually ended up being sick purely through having eaten so much i was fine then me and my friend sat there going over what we had eaten. . between three of us. . dorito big bags x2 pringles x3 (tins ) ben & jerrys 1 tub . . . 99 flakes - 8 , fox's party rings 1 box, matchmakers 1 box , cadburys hero's 1 box , 1 takeaway pizza plus chips plus salad and that was just for tea not including the two litres of pepsi, the pannini's for lunch and pancakes for breakfast .. . .we sat there wrote it down and all felt soooo ill we went to tidy up the pizza box and the sight of the last greasy slice of pizze resulted in me running to the loo lol not pleaseant i hate being sick, it is a very very bad relationship with food, and i know its entirely mental state with me, it is with mum, she thinks sw might be a bit "dangerous" for me so to speak so shes given me an extra rule. . i am allowed to syn but im not allowed to use syns on chocolate, crisps, buscuits or cakes more than once a week, that way hopefully ill not go soo ott when let loose, plus shes going to check my food diary for me make sure im behaving lol!

yeah i manage 100% yday, also scales claim i have lost a pound over night. . . this cheered me up considerably, i think i may need to be carefull re having a light meal for tea rather than something big maybe hmm!

How did the wii go? x

 

[indiebabe]

I'm not sure if there's an eating out guide, although it would be very handy if there was! Perhaps you could ask next time you are at group? Or if you are an online member, have a look at the book section? From browsing the threads on here, it seems lots of people have a stab at making their own syn values for food they eat out, by counting syns of all the individual components. Not sure if this is very accurate, but if there is no alternative it would be a good way of trying to keep track!

Charlie x

Yeah I'll have a hunt for one, I think you're right though, if you try and syn each bit of a meal at least you have some kind of idea!

Feel like eating out will be a big challenge though, not sure if I feel ready to try yet as I think I'm just going to go over, I get a very kind of 'f*** it' head on when I go out for food and it's not helpful when dieting!

Hows you weight loss going Charlie? x x

 

[indiebabe]

Oooh glad the quiche was nice, i was giggling over the image of licking cheese off the top lol!

Im terrible, i cant eat one thing out of a pack. . i brought a pack of those kinder choc bars. . admiteddly they are small ish 8 in a pack. . tho whole lot were gone before lunch not smart so now im working on training myself not to buy it in the first place lol. I know i once got so carried away when the o/h went off on a stag do and the girls came over we ate soo much junk food, i actually ended up being sick purely through having eaten so much i was fine then me and my friend sat there going over what we had eaten. . between three of us. . dorito big bags x2 pringles x3 (tins ) ben & jerrys 1 tub . . . 99 flakes - 8 , fox's party rings 1 box, matchmakers 1 box , cadburys hero's 1 box , 1 takeaway pizza plus chips plus salad and that was just for tea not including the two litres of pepsi, the pannini's for lunch and pancakes for breakfast .. . .we sat there wrote it down and all felt soooo ill we went to tidy up the pizza box and the sight of the last greasy slice of pizze resulted in me running to the loo lol not pleaseant i hate being sick, it is a very very bad relationship with food, and i know its entirely mental state with me, it is with mum, she thinks sw might be a bit "dangerous" for me so to speak so shes given me an extra rule. . i am allowed to syn but im not allowed to use syns on chocolate, crisps, buscuits or cakes more than once a week, that way hopefully ill not go soo ott when let loose, plus shes going to check my food diary for me make sure im behaving lol!

yeah i manage 100% yday, also scales claim i have lost a pound over night. . . this cheered me up considerably, i think i may need to be carefull re having a light meal for tea rather than something big maybe hmm!

How did the wii go? x

Whoop whoop! 1lb off sounds good to me! Well done! Just stick with 100% day and don't worry too much what you eat, as long as it's on plan you should still lose . I'm having another portion of last nights chilli tonight, can't wait!

Your feast sounds immense, I'm quite jealous! I'm having a massive chocolate craving today, don't know why. Am just about to have a cuppa and a kit kat and see if that satisfies the craving. I think I don't like using syns on chocolate for different reason to you, I just feel like it uses them all up on something not very satsisfying!

My friend that I mentioned is doing ww coz she thought sw might be a bit dangerous for her too, but I think ww is worse as she just uses her weekly points up on snacks and then she's hungry and then breaks the diet.

I think a lot of us are probably following sw due to unhealthy relationships with food. I have recently realised that mine is that I reward/console myself with food and wine. I work in a pretty emotional job with stroke survivors...when I lose a patient or they re-stroke I will console myself with wine and ice cream. If I have a great day for whatever reason or I'm just happy, out with friends, doing something nice with o/h I reward myself by eating something nice (usually olives and wine and walkers sweet chilli sensations!) and I think it's just a really unhealthy association to have. I guess we need to break that cycle as well or we'll just put the weight straight back on!!

I didn't do the wii, but I did go for a walk to the postbox at the top of the road and did 100 sit ups. Was only out 15 mins but I felt exhausted when I got in, can tell I'm still unwell coz a fifteen min walk should not make me ache this much! Pleased I did it though, the fresh air must have done me good really!

x x x

 

[cupcake87]

Sounds like quite a tough job, must be rewarding when people improve though.

Yeah im gunna try and stay positive, another 100% day under the belt

Yeah i must admit when you use the syns on choc or anything, they do seem to have dissapeared really quickly and you dont feel your left with much.

Ooh a walk outside thats good, its something.

Yeah i guess it is all association im trying to break the, "i eat as soon as i walk through door" association atm, i hadnt noticed it before but atm i currently have the invisilign braces (removable retainers basically) and you have to take them out to eat, and its becoming more apparant where the problems lie, coz as soon as i get home i walk into the kitchen, weather im going to cook tea or not and take them out and i feel as soon as ive done that its admitting im going to eat, so i made a concious effort not to take them out till dinner was on a plate at the table yesterday .

I also massivly associate falling out with o/h with eating chocolate out of revenge. . its weird but when he annoys me i eat chocolate and im thinking "hah" the whole time then after i wonder why, he would like me slim again so i dont keep whining but apart from that hes not bothered so im only damaging myself !

wierd our associations! xx

 

[indiebabe]

Sounds like quite a tough job, must be rewarding when people improve though.

Yeah im gunna try and stay positive, another 100% day under the belt

Yeah i must admit when you use the syns on choc or anything, they do seem to have dissapeared really quickly and you dont feel your left with much.

Ooh a walk outside thats good, its
something.

Yeah i guess it is all association im trying to break the, "i eat as soon as i walk through door" association atm, i hadnt noticed it before but atm i currently have the invisilign braces (removable retainers basically) and you have to take them out to eat, and its becoming more apparant where the problems lie, coz as soon as i get home i walk into the kitchen, weather im going to cook tea or not and take them out and i feel as soon as ive done that its admitting im going to eat, so i made a concious effort not to take them out till dinner was on a plate at the table yesterday .

I also massivly associate falling out with o/h with eating chocolate out of revenge. . its weird but when he annoys me i eat chocolate and im thinking "hah" the whole time then after i wonder why, he would like me slim again so i dont keep whining but apart from that hes not bothered so im only damaging myself !

wierd our associations! xx

I had another 100% day too although hugely struggled yesterday - am due on and just want crap!!! O/h is taking me out to cinema and for dinner tonight as I'm starting to feel a bit better and he wants to spoil me, adorable but will be my first major test of picking something sw friendly off a menu. Fingers crossed!!

That's a good idea to leave your retainer in until dinner - what a great psychological thing to break! Associations definitely are weird but I guess everyone has them with something, it's just a shame when it's food as it becomes so visible! I used to do the same as you years ago when falling out with an ex, but mine was smoking. I've never been a smoker but he did and he used to say that he would hate for me to start. My housemate was a smoker and so when me and him rowed I would have a cig with her! I hated it and he never knew but it was still really satisfying! Def a bit crazy!! We split up about 6 years ago and I never touched another one!

I think it's hard to keep motivated when you know your oh isn't desperate for you to lose it. I wouldnt want mine to hate my body bit it might motivate me more if I knew he was desperate for a skinnier model! I just keep clinging onto the fact that I know I am more attractive slimmer and that even if he doesn't say anything it must be nicer putting your arms around a slim gf than a fat one!

Nearly the weekend! Hope you have done lovely plans! x x