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DQ in 2007!

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DQ

Queen of the Damned
#1
Someone just sent me this. Wow! I think this is incredible. Long, but worth it!

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I have a friend who keeps walking into brick walls. Each time she does it, she hurts herself a little bit more. She is convinced that she doesn't know how to stop. She won't talk about why she keeps walking into the walls. She won't talk about anything but actually walking into the brick walls and the injuries it causes. She isn't even sure she wants to stop, but she knows she is hurting herself, at least on some level.

She knows she's different than other people who aren't always walking into brick walls.

My friend is convinced that stopping isn't possible, and even if possible, not something SHE could attain.

All my friend ever talks about is brick walls, walking into them, how to stop, how she can't stop. There is always some crisis about it. Every e-mail, every phone call, or at least the majority of them, are just so negative and filled with brick-walking descriptions and stone-wall obsessions.

I try to encourage my friend to enjoy life... to talk about other things... to tell me WHY she thinks she has to walk into brick walls. She fights me every time. Once in a while I get a peak at something deeper, at some emotion or problem she has, but as soon as it shows, it's back to walking into walls and talking about walking into walls.

I can't imagine that living a life like this is fulfilling to her. She isn't happy. She'll go out of her way to avoid people just so she can walk into walls. She says her therapist can't understand because HE has NEVER walked into a wall in his life, so he can't possibly help her. She gets mad if people put up cushioning so she can't get hurt. She gets mad if people get in her way of walking into a wall. She gets really angry if someone tries to hug her instead of letting her bash her head on brick. And she just won't talk about anything but walking into brick walls and gets annoyed when people encourage her to talk about what's bothering her.

It's really been quite impossible to help her because she won't let anyone help her. She won't listen to anyone's advice. She never considers that she's making a choice to walk into a wall each time she does. I've even heard her blame the wall, like she has no control over whether she walks into it or not. There are people all around us, every day, NOT walking into walls, yet she doesn't consider it's an option.

My friend knows that someday she could walk into a wall and have it kill her. She's convinced she'll never go that far.

I think she wants people to see her bruises, scrapes and lumps. I think she thinks it's like a badge of honor, displaying her inner pain, displaying how unique she is, showing the world she can do whatever the hell she wants. She also gets a lot of attention for it, using it as an excuse why people don't "get" her or that people just feel sorry for her.

It's hard to see anything else but a person who walks into brick walls because that is all she ever shows anyone. I'm even starting to forget who she was BEFORE she started all this.

I have already told her that I will never stop telling her it's not okay to hurt herself this way. She gets mad. She tells me I don't understand. I ask her to make me. She won't. If a day goes by and I don't mention it, she thinks I don't care. Either way, she uses it as an excuse to walk into more walls. It's a no win situation.

I can't help my friend stop this until she wants to stop.
I can't support someone to stop walking into walls if I don't know why they do it.
I don't want it to ruin our friendship, but as you see, it already has. She blames me. She blames the stupid walls. She blames people who don't understand. She blames people who try to.

I think she could stop walking into brick walls if she really wanted to. Matter of fact, I KNOW she could that's how much faith I have in her. I'm angry that she would rather walk into walls than anything else. I'm sad it's consumed her. She doesn't seem to care that I worry. She doesn't want me walking into walls myself, but she's mad that I don't understand. She wants me to tell her it's okay, but we both know it's not. She wants me to stop harping on it, but she won't stop harping on it.

- - - - -

I got a phone call today.

She finally did it. It sounds so sad... that someone actually did this to themselves to the point of death. I can't believe it. I cannot believe she's gone.

I hear the hush-hush whispering of our friends. Can you believe she did this to herself? If only she had asked for help... if only she had told us why maybe we could have done something... if only she had been willing to help herself...

I did everything I could for my friend, but in the end, whether I'd been there or not, it wouldn't have made a difference. To her, anything I said was wrong, because really, she needed to take responsibility for herself. She needed me to be wrong. The more she convinced herself I was, the more she convinced herself she was right. She wasn't willing to challenge her thinking, even though she KNEW it was hurting her in every way possible.

She wasn't willing to say "I'm going to do everything I can to stop walking into brick walls." She wasn't willing to say "I'm going to do as much as I can to stop walking into brick walls. She wasn't even willing to say "I'm going to take some tiny little steps away from walking into brick walls."

She was too quick to blame everyone else, even herself, when blame was never the answer.

All she needed was to give a little and she could have received a lot.

All she needed was to give to herself the same gifts she felt everyone else deserved.

Take care of YOU

We ready then peeps?! :cool: Kids are back at school this week, and it's time to apply apply some effort to ourselves
 
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DQ

Queen of the Damned
#2
DQ - this is where to check in on the Drama Queen!

Another weekend over and done with. Had Friday off work cos Sophia had torticolis :boohoo: Basically when she woke up and stretched, her neck muscles went into spasm. She's been on diazepam all weekend but is much better.

I have done my hair. Dyed the grey bright purple and put in purple braids. It's just a short bob, nothing special, but it's neat and tidy and I always feel better for doing something with my hair :queen:

Back to work tomorrow and looking forward to us all being in a routine. The girls are back at school, Nina is potty training, and I am using my tens machine to help with the pain from the slipped discs. :clap:

The holiday seems a long time ago, but I did find it refreshing so can't complain too much. :p

Anyway, recommitting as mentioned before going on holiday - let's get cracking on being the best that we can be, whatever it takes!! :D
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#3
Another weekend over and done with. Had Friday off work cos Sophia had torticolis :huh: Basically when she woke up and stretched, her neck muscles went into spasm. She's been on diazepam all weekend but is much better.

I have done my hair. Dyed the grey bright purple and put in purple braids. It's just a short bob, nothing special, but it's neat and tidy and I always feel better for doing something with my hair :D

Back to work tomorrow and looking forward to us all being in a routine. The girls are back at school, Nina is potty training, and I am using my tens machine to help with the pain from the slipped discs.

The holiday seems a long time ago, but I did find it refreshing so can't complain too much. :p

Anyway, recommitting as mentioned before going on holiday - let's get cracking on being the best that we can be, whatever it takes!! :D
  • Hair sounds gorgeous :D
  • Let's get cracking!!!...2008 is looming.....:scale:
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#4
You said it baby!! Just checking out your signature - you are doing fab!!! :clap: :cool:
 

Isis

Ancient Egypt Nut!
C: 18st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 39.9
#5
You said it baby!! Just checking out your signature - you are doing fab!!! :clap: :cool:
Thank u honey :D...DESPITE everything!!!!! Me thinks I may have turned a corner here with the "head stuff"....or is it that I have the big 40 looming in 9 days!!!!! Arghh...:eek::eek::eek::eek:
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#7
Where the heck did the time go?!!! :eek: I was aiming to be in bed for 11 p.m.!!! Ah well, nite nite :nightf:
 

sonban

Addicted to Minimins
#8
Hi D_Q glad your getting in to a routine. Your hair sounds lovely. I have not had my hair done for ages I think I will have it done as a treat when I have lost another 2 stone to celebrate losing half of what I need to lose. Glad your daughter is feeling better and how is the potty training going?
 
S: 21st12lb C: 21st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 50.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#9
Hey you! :wavey:

How was the holiday? Where abouts in Spain did you go & would you recommend it?

Glad to hear you're feeling ok & that Sophia's on the mend. Sounds very painful, poor girl.

How's Nina's potty training going? Daniel had his 1st encounter with his potty last Wednesday - managed a bit of poop in there - :wow:
I'm under no illusions that he's going to potty train just yet though - just wanted to get him used to sitting on it etc.

Well, we're off to Tumble Tots this morning, so I'd best move myself!

Have a good day - Oh, and you ought to post a pic of your hair :D

xx
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#10
Potty training going well - have just returned from Asda where we purchased 10 pairs of pants (5 Peppa Pig, 5 Dora the Explorer) in celeration for stickers earned so far :cool: :cool:

Looks like my lil madam will be getting her scooter this weekend as she hasn't 'used' her nappies even overnight since we started :D To say I am proud of her is an understatement, although we have yet to do the 'rush to loo whilst out and about'!! :p

We went to Ametlla de Mar in Spain Reus, Spain - Google Maps and it was lovely. The villa was big enough for the five of us (3 double bedrooms), with a pool. We hired a car and drove from Barcelona airport, although we could have flown into Reus. Gorgeous week - just wish we could afford to do it again :sigh:
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#11
Well tis weigh in tomorrow. Done 7 days of CD1000/1200 and hopeful for a loss. :) So I've got my 7 days star, and am pleased with how things have gone. I need an early night - will let you know how the weigh in goes tomorrow. :nightf:
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#12
Lost 12 lbs :cool: Very pleased, and even more determined. Need to up the water though :)
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#14
Thanks Fiona :D Was a bit of surprise tbh, and definitely not expecting that every week but a good start :D :cool:
 
#17
Anyway, recommitting as mentioned before going on holiday - let's get cracking on being the best that we can be, whatever it takes!! :D
Can't argue with that honey!

By the way your hair sounds fab. Any chance of a pic? :)

:hug99:

cc xxx
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#18
Hiya D_Q :wow:Well done fantastic wow I wish I could lose that in a week.:talk017:
Yeah, but remember first week losses are always good - it's keeping things going that is important :)

Blimey DQ, that's fab, that is :wow: Good on ya:clap:

Thanks KD - I am pleased! :clap:
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#19
Can't argue with that honey!

By the way your hair sounds fab. Any chance of a pic? :)

:hug99:

cc xxx
Well someone today told me it makes my head look like a football so I'm not sure now.....
 
S: 21st10lb C: 21st0lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.2 Loss: 0st10lb(3.29%)
#20
:wow:, That's a fantastic start, you must be so pleased. And your little girl must be feeling very grown up in her new knickers!!! Hope your back not too painful and DQ your hair always looks fabulous...bet it's nothing like a football!

:talk017:
 
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