Emotional Eaters... Any Advice?

[Serena A]

Okay, so right now, you probably think I'm being difficult

I suppose I really want everyone to be so very sure that they are looking in the right place.

Okay if you are, but you can waste an awful lot of time labelling yourself, finding out all the answers to that problem, just to find emotional eating wasn't the problem in the first place.

I've seen people go off to therapy, drag all their background problems up, spent months doing it...become extremely depressed about the whole thing, only to find that they weren't totally emotional eaters.

I did have a good think about this one, and found it difficult to reach a conclusion as to how one defines "emotion" in the context of overeating as it's such a personal interpretation. I don't think emotional eating has to necessarily stem from background problems therefore therapy would not always be appropriate.

I think it can sometimes be as much about unlearning our initial reactions/bad habits in the way that we respond to certain situations, rather than true emotion. Having said that I know that I eat emotionally too.

I suppose we just have to be careful that the tag of emotional eating does not become a "one size fits all" answer for all people/to all occasions when we overeat when not hungry. In my eyes the problem lies in successfully identifying what actually applies to us so that we can take the appropriate action, but not to keep on delving deeper than necessary just so that we have an answer, any answer, regardless of whether or not it's correct for us.

There is so much to learn on this journey...I sometimes feel like I have a treasure map with X marks the spot, and after much digging it turns out that the X is in the wrong place :sigh:

 

[Porgeous]

I did have a good think about this one, and found it difficult to reach a conclusion as to how one defines "emotion" in the context of overeating as it's such a personal interpretation. I don't think emotional eating has to necessarily stem from background problems therefore therapy would not always be appropriate.

I think it can sometimes be as much about unlearning our initial reactions/bad habits in the way that we respond to certain situations, rather than true emotion. Having said that I know that I eat emotionally too.

I suppose we just have to be careful that the tag of emotional eating does not become a "one size fits all" answer for all people/to all occasions when we overeat when not hungry. In my eyes the problem lies in identifying what actually applies to us so that we can take the appropriate action, but not to keep on delving deeper than necessary just so that we have an answer, any answer, regardless of whether or not it's correct for us.

There is so much to learn on this journey...I sometimes feel like I have a treasure map with X marks the spot, and after much digging it turns out that the X is in the wrong place :sigh:

Great post!

What are people's thoughts on "any excuse" eating - I know this is something I have suffered from. I ate because just because I wanted to and then would find an excuse for it!

 

[KD]

I think it can sometimes be as much about unlearning our initial reactions/bad habits in the way that we respond to certain situations, rather than true emotion.

That's how it worked for me in the end.

In my eyes the problem lies in successfully identifying what actually applies to us so that we can take the appropriate action, but not to keep on delving deeper than necessary just so that we have an answer, any answer, regardless of whether or not it's correct for us.

Yep.

There is so much to learn on this journey...I sometimes feel like I have a treasure map with X marks the spot, and after much digging it turns out that the X is in the wrong place :sigh:

Yep, which is why I wanted to point out that people need to really explore, rather than decide they were emotional eaters without reading up about other issues there may be.

Wasn't trying to tell them they weren't emotional eaters, just decide when you are sure you know what else might be going on

It's been a fascinating thread, and so good to see people exploring why they overeat rather than just focusing on the food issue

 

[Serena A]

Great post!

What are people's thoughts on "any excuse" eating - I know this is something I have suffered from. I ate because just because I wanted to and then would find an excuse for it!

Thanks x

Hmmmn, not sure about the "any excuse" eating. Maybe it's a similar thing to having repeated "last suppers" in preparation for the Monday restart that never comes? As in feeling the need to justify the eating to yourself with a "reason"?

 

[Serena A]

It's been a fascinating thread, and so good to see people exploring why they overeat rather than just focusing on the food issue

Yes it's a great thread isn't it.

All these different opinions have made me clearer in my mind that yes, I am predominantly an emotional eater. And I do think that therapy definitely does a lot of good when applied under the right circumstances - I just get all mine on here!

 

[KD]

Great post!

What are people's thoughts on "any excuse" eating - I know this is something I have suffered from. I ate because just because I wanted to and then would find an excuse for it!

Ahh yes, and it's absolutely fantastic what I could come up with!

It'll only go off
Somebody else might eat it
It was calling my name (yeah, food in this house speaks LOL)
Everyone elses is eating. Okay....they may not have eaten all day, and I might have not stopped eating all day...but it was dinner time. Must have my dinner...it's healthy...I'll be ill if I don't.
It's a special occassion.
I deserve it. Huh? Did I really believe that?
Nobody is here. I'm alone. What else would you do if you were alone?
It's my parents fault.
I'm just greedy
I have no willpower. Eeek, damn nuisance when I found out that you don't actually need willpower. D'oh.
I love food too much. Hey...happen to love it even more, cos I taste it now LOL
I'm a failure anyway.
It's weigh day! I've lost, not lost, gained. Delete as needed, then binge.
This is me. I'm fat.
I had to have something to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth
There's so much food around!
She'll be offended if I don't eat it.
Bad food is more filling. LOL

I could go on

 

[Serena A]

It's weigh day! I've lost, not lost, gained. Delete as needed, then binge.

LOL that's a classic - nearly everyone I've ever known who goes to WW classes saves up points to pick up a takeaway on the way home from their meeting

 

[KD]

LOL that's a classic - nearly everyone I've ever known who goes to WW classes saves up points to pick up a takeaway on the way home from their meeting

They do. I see them come out of the hall down the road, and straight into the chip shop.

Down the other end, the SW people go to the kebab shop.

(Not blaming WW or SW!) it's just typical dieting behaviour.

And you can justify it that you saved up your points/syns, but they are eating for the wrong reason.

 

[Porgeous]

Ahh yes, and it's absolutely fantastic what I could come up with!

It'll only go off
Somebody else might eat it
It was calling my name (yeah, food in this house speaks LOL)
Everyone elses is eating. Okay....they may not have eaten all day, and I might have not stopped eating all day...but it was dinner time. Must have my dinner...it's healthy...I'll be ill if I don't.
It's a special occassion.
I deserve it. Huh? Did I really believe that?
Nobody is here. I'm alone. What else would you do if you were alone?
It's my parents fault.
I'm just greedy
I have no willpower. Eeek, damn nuisance when I found out that you don't actually need willpower. D'oh.
I love food too much. Hey...happen to love it even more, cos I taste it now LOL
I'm a failure anyway.
It's weigh day! I've lost, not lost, gained. Delete as needed, then binge.
This is me. I'm fat.
I had to have something to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth
There's so much food around!
She'll be offended if I don't eat it.
Bad food is more filling. LOL

I could go on

See I'm not alone , I had particularly chatty food problem was it only had one topic of conversation "eat me"!

 

[Serena A]

See I'm not alone , I had particularly chatty food problem was it only had one topic of conversation "eat me"!

:8855::8855:

 

[Isis]

I think the part of you that would say, you've had enough, leave it would be the part that is responding to hunger. Unfortunately emotional eating is not related to hunger and therefore no switch. The key for me was asking myself if I was hungry and if I wasn't what was it that I needed as it clearly wasn't food, if that makes any sense.

xx

Total sense to me G after just reading this! Emotional eating to me = situation> thoughts >feelings>stuff the feelings down with food. No switch goes on ...yet :sigh:....but it will if I persevere

 

[Kira]

Hi Ladies read your posts from yesterday evening and feel head in in right place to get through another day today. I printed off some of the posts yesterday afternoon but unbelievably you all posted so much more good stuff I will also have to print those off too! I will be using them is night time reading or reading when I a have doubtful moments. Read a good article in the Times yesterday by India Knight about new year resolutions and them failing because we set ourselves unachievable resolutions because we see perfection and see imperfection as weakness. Interesting reading but one either loves or hates India Knight columns.

 

[Katycakes]

Defintely identify with the list of excuses for eating... but in my case, the real 'excuse' was the one I couldn't say, even to myself... trust me, those excuses apply just as much to emotional eaters! We have so much in common, whatever the reasons we may overeat, & this thread is helping me to see that that impulse can come from a whole lot of different places.
I do take on KDs point, too, that it's just as dangerous to 'discover' you are an emotional eater and then wallow in that - the point is to use the knowledge to find a way to break the pattern. Gathering lots of strength and support from this thread... here's to another successful day for all of us.
xxx

 

[Smiley_Cat]

Omigod! I want to quote too many of your great replies since I was last on!! Nightmare!

Serena et al - totally agree that it isn't 'one size fits all' and I wouldn't recommend therapy for anyone who doesn't really need it. I however have a history of other self-destruct issues (food being just one...sadly ) and therapy is doing wonders for my self-esteem and confidence, and so I'm certain the emotional eating will be sorted as part of it I suppose it comes down to knowing yourself and your history - if food is your only real issue, then emotion might not be the root of the problem. And even then, it depends, I think, if overeating is a habit, a problem, or a symptom.

KD - I'm only 'acutely emotional' 42% of the time (had to get a HHGG 42 reference in there somewhere! Aside from being obese and emotional, I'm also a bit of a nerd! ) As for relief when feeling 'normal'...hmm...I'll let you know when I do finally feel normal! lol And as for that 'any excuse' list??? :8855:Too funny!

KD/Serena - WW = chippy, SW = kebab shop!?! Stop it! I'm going to wet myself! (I KNEW that last litre of water was too much today!!)

Katycakes - ditto, ditto and more ditto

And to all of you <<HUGS!!>> - this thread has felt like we've been sitting around the coffee table (with all our pint glasses of water) just gabbing away as us girlies tend to do ... sharing, supporting, and making each other laugh.

Great stuff Cxx

 

[KD]

Read a good article in the Times yesterday by India Knight about new year resolutions and them failing because we set ourselves unachievable resolutions because we see perfection and see imperfection as weakness.

Yep, I now aim for imperfection, and make sure that I'm happy with that. Do much better that way.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to do that in other areas of my life :sigh:

 

[Lily]

Bump!

(I like this thread - and it took me ages to find it!)

 

[Katycakes]

I know, feel a bit lost now this thread has gone quiet... it's really been helping me! Wanted to repeat something Kira said very early on in the thread, she mentioned some books she'd seen in Easy Living mag... just bought the mag and there is a really good section on losing weight. Not the usual faddy diet thing but lots of different approaches, including a section on emotional eating, which is where the books Kira described are mentioned. A great feature by Lesley Garner in the mag too, on getting the most out of life and finding the best in things... found the mag really inspirational this month, take a look!

 

[Serena A]

I took it as a good thing that this thread was quiet as it meant we were all doing fabulously!

My MIL gets Easy Living - I will have to check that article out.

 

[Katycakes]

Mmmm, it's not that I'm not doing well (the safety of SS!) more that I was getting so many little light-bulb moments with all the back & forth chat about emotional eating! And feeling like it wasn't just me, I guess! Followed up another lead from the Easy Living features, about a website called beyondchocolate.co.uk (sorry don't know how to make it a link!) and it looks promising... there's a free newsletter and support groups in the south of England with more springing up... will check it out some more. Might be worth a look for other (recovering!) chocolate addicts!

 

[Lily]

http://www.beyondchocolate.co.uk/

There you go