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Ever wish the ground would open up and swallow you?

#1
I could have died!!!!!

I have a friend that lives in Bury, Manchester, and this week I drove over there, picked her up and brought her through to Yorkshire for a few days. We had a lovely week catching up and then on Friday I took her back home. My mum came along with us for the ride and also to vist Bury Market, where my hubby and I used to have a stall for about 6 yrs. When we got to the market we were a bit disappointed cos most of the stalls were closed due to the royal wedding but one that was open was the fruit & veg stall run by an Asian family so they have lots of what I would consider to be unusual foods.

As I currently have such dedication to the SW plan :D lol, I was in the mood to try something new and picked up 2 different veg that I'd never seen before. The first was a white raddish - they're shaped like a smooth cucumber but this one was bigger, and white - which I was told to peel then either cook like turnip or swede or I could eat it raw in salads.

The second I was told was a "longy doody" and the English girl that I was talking to told me to ask one of the Asian guys how to prepare it as she didn't know.

So . . . . . at the top of my voice (cos the guy was at the other end of the stall) I shouted "Hey, Korsa, I've got a longy doody here but don't know what to do with it"

:ashamed0005: :ashamed0005: :hide: :ashamed0005: :ashamed0005:​

Turns out the veg is called a "long dudhi" and you peel it and add it to stews, currys etc. And NO!!!!! I won't be repeating any of the comments I recieved from several customers and staff that were there at the time.
 
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#2
:eek: :D Cringe!

LOL! Something you'll never forget though!
 
#3
Lol!

My worst moment ever...

I was about 19 and standing in a completely packed out pub with my ex husband and a load of his friends. Someone asked for a pen so I rooted round in my handbag and pulled one out with great gusto and raised my arm.
Unfortunately I failed to notice that a random tampon, which had wriggled free of its wrapper, had got its string wrapped around the clip that holds the pen in yr pocket.
Well...you could have heard a pin drop as that damn tampon sailed over everyones heads like some sort of flying mouse...

I was absolutely mortified!

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 

auntynet

Full Member
#4
LMAO - now that's one to deffo make you cringe . . . . along with everyone else that witnessed it. lol.

Come on pepes - lets here some more stories.
 
#6
Not strictly on topic but it made me laugh to read on a money saving site about random substitutions in online shopping orders, where somebody had ordered Tampax and they were sent a packet of Twix!
 
#7
Lol!

My worst moment ever...

I was about 19 and standing in a completely packed out pub with my ex husband and a load of his friends. Someone asked for a pen so I rooted round in my handbag and pulled one out with great gusto and raised my arm.
Unfortunately I failed to notice that a random tampon, which had wriggled free of its wrapper, had got its string wrapped around the clip that holds the pen in yr pocket.
Well...you could have heard a pin drop as that damn tampon sailed over everyones heads like some sort of flying mouse...

I was absolutely mortified!

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
OH LOL! You just reminded me of a time when I was on a training course and one of the other girls and I had gone out to buy some lunch, we only just really knew each other because we were all employed to work in a new unit that was opening and so we had all been freshly taken on.

Anyhoo, long story short, the girl I was with picked a few things up to have for lunch, took them to the counter and went in her bag to get out her purse to pay. Along with the purse came a sanitary towel that had lost its protective strip and adhered itself to her purse. (This was in the days before they came delicately folded up in "plastic gift wrapping.") Quick as a flash she looked the shop assistant in the eye and with a completely straight face said "Do you take Kotex?"

:8855:
 
#8
PMSL!!! :rotflmao:

Wish I'd thought of something witty to say instead of standing there with my face burning like a flipping beacon! :ashamed0005:
 

GothGoddess

Time to start again!
#9
Tampon/towel moments seem to be the bane of every girls existence, mine was my five year old nephew rooting through my bag at a family gathering, finding said item waving it over his head and shouting loudly "Look Mummy, Auntie Chelle keeps mice in her bag like you!" Out of the mouth of babes so they say... Cringe...

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
#10
Oh dear...we seem to have a theme developing lol!!!
 
#11
i was in tesco shopping with my mum and v boldly (was about 18) went up to the guy in the fruit bit and asked him if he had any syphalis :doh:

yep i wanted physalis the fruit :D
 

fillymum

synful soul
#12
I had a few here in Spain in the early days and I think this one was probably the most cringe making.

I was a guide for a Spanish company and returning from a trip to Malaga we had reached my village when I saw a friend walking along. I shouted to Antonio in my best Spanish, "blow your horn, oh please blow your horn". He went scarlet, then roared with laughter. I had only shouted, " touch your willie, oh please touch your willie!"

He never allowed me to forget it.
 
#13
Oh Fillymum - that's the best ever! I'm in stitches!

A friend of mine is a maths teacher. She was doing probability. She said "If I put 10 red discs and 7 yellow discs in bag, what is the likelihood of pulling out a red dick?" You can imagine in a class of 14 year olds...

As for me, I was teaching a class who were really into the lesson I was teaching. Questions about what was on the board were coming ten to the dozen, all on the one piece on the board, then fits of giggles. Turns out I'd split my trousers, so when I reached up to the board, I bared my thong and ass to the whole class:eek::eek::eek:. And I still had to walk to the staffroom knowing what was going on.:eek:
 

kingleds

Gold Member
#14
Lol! These are all very funny!
I once did a presentation at work to my team of 20 odd people. Was very new & very nervous. Part of the preso involved drawing a diagram on the white board. Part of my drawing was rather, phalic shall we say ( was not supposed to be - was drawing a network diagram ) . Everyone was giggling & i had no idea why at first. When i realised i thought i was going to die of enbarrassment, but managed to make a joke out of it by adding a few hairs etc :). One of my colleagues admitted to me the other day that his wife still refers to me as 'p&nis girl' as a result of this - it happened 5 years ago!!!
 

kingleds

Gold Member
#15
Oh! And once sat in a meeting with a customer for a whole hour without realising 2 buttons on my shirt were undone and i was flashing a fair amount of boob and red lacy ann summer bra at him!!
 

Lukasmummy

Former SW Target Member
#17
I think the majority of mine have been to do with my kids. One I remember really well was when I was pregnant with my youngest and took the oldest to the hospital shop. He saw a guy in a wheelchair with no legs and i was just waiting for the inevitable questions, he started with "Mummy look at that man" was not expecting the next part at all, "he's so lucky he gets to ride around all the time and doesn't get sore feet", I thought I was going to die of embarassment but the guy in the chair was laughing so hard he had tears rolling down his face. Hugs Crystal xx
 
#18
Lukasmummy said:
I think the majority of mine have been to do with my kids. One I remember really well was when I was pregnant with my youngest and took the oldest to the hospital shop. He saw a guy in a wheelchair with no legs and i was just waiting for the inevitable questions, he started with "Mummy look at that man" was not expecting the next part at all, "he's so lucky he gets to ride around all the time and doesn't get sore feet", I thought I was going to die of embarassment but the guy in the chair was laughing so hard he had tears rolling down his face. Hugs Crystal xx
How lovely that your son has such a positive outlook, and that the gent in question had a sense of humour !
 

Trefoil

Gold Member
#19
My Mum Brother and I were on a non stop train down to Somerset/Devon area and my mum and brother were doing a crossword. The carriage was full but very quiet. My mum asked a question about the human eye- for which the answer was retina. However my then 14 year old brother shouted "CERVIX" in a sort of "Yes, got it way" and looked really chuffed with himself whilst my mum and I cried with laughter :')

My Brother was in a REALLY BAD mood and our 84 year old Grandma-like extremely religious neighbour had come round. Im not sure he knew she was there because my mum said "Sam, whats wrong with you?" and he shouted back "Im on my period!!!!!!" in a very loud voice.

My Dad told me when I was 8 that Spiders Growled. I related this back to my boss and several other members at work only 2 months ago to a lot of laughing :( Also up until last month I thought a female sheep was called an eeeweee :(

Ruth
x
 
#20
My most embarrassing time must have been when my eldest was 3 (a very long time ago!). We were walking round Superdrug and I was 7 months pregnant and she was dawdling behind me when she suddenly shouted "Mum, what are these for?", when I turned round to look she was holding up a pack of D*rex. The woman standing next to me said "Looks like it's a bit late for you luv!" Talk about wishing the floor would open up and swallow you!!!

Denise
 


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