Fat birds can't fly

I'm getting a bit sick of this broodyness now! I feel annoyed and just bleh! Obsessed with anything baby related too, it's pathetic lol I need a hobby! Haha
X

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Just focus on the weightloss hun.... Baby making can happen then :p have you weighed in yet? X
 
I haven't started the weight loss :-/ can't get into it! I'm wondering if its because Im feeling a bit lost at the moment with job wise and PGCE, and what I'm going to do with my life? I want someone to tell me! Lol
X

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So I'm laid in bed, just watched that episode of supersize on my iPad while boyfriend sleeps :)


I'm feeling cack! Diet is mainly about what you shove down your pie hole, right. I get that fatty foods will make you fat etc but why don't I GET it, why can't I get a grip? My relationship with food is really bad, but the route of the problem is really unknown to me? Does anyone else know why they eat and eat and make wrong decisions?

Before I went to Florida, I went from 14.7 - 13.5! And I said to myself, '***** I can't imagine being back up in the 14's' I'm now 14st10! Even my 'fat' clothes are tight, for as long as I can remember ive always had weight problems, and saying 'oh I'll start the diet tomorrow', well tomorrow never comes, and now I'm 22 nearly 23 and I've never had the body I've always wanted, never worn a bikini and looked in the mirror and gone, woah I look good in this! Instead I feel and look like shamu! It's sad really isn't it, pathetic sad not upsetting, well both really :-/ before I know it, I'll be bigger older and have some form of major health issue,

I think the problem with me is, sticking to things is hard, and I don't get motivated by things. It's the same with 'hobbies' they fizzle out after a day, even doing my degree, I got a 2:1, and yeh I did work hard, but I didn't go to many lectures, I never saw the inside of my library, and I want to be a primary school teacher now? Am I having a laugh! The reason I can't pass this aptitude test is really I'm quite crap at tests and I just don't know the answers because in school or uni I either had time to look stuff up, or assessments were coursework based!

Anyhow, I'm beginning to sound INSANE lol I am really quite a happy little chunk, but I am quite rubbish at seeing things through at the level I'd like them them to be, (not putting the effort in when I should to get the better results,) I'm a settler is what I am, I could of got a 1st if I wasn't too lazy.



So diet wise. What is the plan fat bird,

I've set up my mini gym in the spare bedroom, my poor cocker spaniel desperately wants walkies, so dusting off her lead would be a start. Boyfriend has bought fresh veggies and fruit in every few days now so I should take advantage of that as I have a slight compost bin going on in the bottom of my fruit bowl lol I've just planned tomorrows food so lets see if I can stick to it,

Pgce wise, I need some practise in to re jig my gcse science maths and English, I've hopefully got a placement with a primary school one day a week and scouts starts next Monday, I ideally need to have a chat with a teacher about a 'day in the life of a teacher' as knowing the background on paper work etc was my let downs,

As for babies, well I need to be healthy and if I don't loose this weight then I'm a fool,

X
 
Oh that post started off sad but the end you have addressed everything and made a plan to tackle it which is great.

I honestly think once you get that "click" in your head you will be flying with the weight loss. Your bf is onto a good thing with the fruit and veg- pile up your plate with it and start having smaller carb portions, I promise if you have enough of the veg you won't feel hungry.

And brill idea with walking the pooch- do you have a pedometer? Something like that helps as it gives you an actual number to track and compete against yourself. If not even choosing one route and then putting the timer on your phone and power walking it each morning/evening every day for 2 weeks and see how much you can cut down the time.

You can do it!!!!!!! x p.s. I always crack up when you mention shamu
 
So I'm laid in bed, just watched that episode of supersize on my iPad while boyfriend sleeps :)

I'm feeling cack! Diet is mainly about what you shove down your pie hole, right. I get that fatty foods will make you fat etc but why don't I GET it, why can't I get a grip? My relationship with food is really bad, but the route of the problem is really unknown to me? Does anyone else know why they eat and eat and make wrong decisions?

Before I went to Florida, I went from 14.7 - 13.5! And I said to myself, '***** I can't imagine being back up in the 14's' I'm now 14st10! Even my 'fat' clothes are tight, for as long as I can remember ive always had weight problems, and saying 'oh I'll start the diet tomorrow', well tomorrow never comes, and now I'm 22 nearly 23 and I've never had the body I've always wanted, never worn a bikini and looked in the mirror and gone, woah I look good in this! Instead I feel and look like shamu! It's sad really isn't it, pathetic sad not upsetting, well both really :-/ before I know it, I'll be bigger older and have some form of major health issue,

I think the problem with me is, sticking to things is hard, and I don't get motivated by things. It's the same with 'hobbies' they fizzle out after a day, even doing my degree, I got a 2:1, and yeh I did work hard, but I didn't go to many lectures, I never saw the inside of my library, and I want to be a primary school teacher now? Am I having a laugh! The reason I can't pass this aptitude test is really I'm quite crap at tests and I just don't know the answers because in school or uni I either had time to look stuff up, or assessments were coursework based!

Anyhow, I'm beginning to sound INSANE lol I am really quite a happy little chunk, but I am quite rubbish at seeing things through at the level I'd like them them to be, (not putting the effort in when I should to get the better results,) I'm a settler is what I am, I could of got a 1st if I wasn't too lazy.

So diet wise. What is the plan fat bird,

I've set up my mini gym in the spare bedroom, my poor cocker spaniel desperately wants walkies, so dusting off her lead would be a start. Boyfriend has bought fresh veggies and fruit in every few days now so I should take advantage of that as I have a slight compost bin going on in the bottom of my fruit bowl lol I've just planned tomorrows food so lets see if I can stick to it,

Pgce wise, I need some practise in to re jig my gcse science maths and English, I've hopefully got a placement with a primary school one day a week and scouts starts next Monday, I ideally need to have a chat with a teacher about a 'day in the life of a teacher' as knowing the background on paper work etc was my let downs,

As for babies, well I need to be healthy and if I don't loose this weight then I'm a fool,

X

Oh bless you :)
I agree when it all clicks you will fly x
Do you have an iPhone ..?? You can download run meter or other apps and it tells you how far your walked .. Your calories lost ... Etc ... A great motivator to see it all in numbers :)
Good luck Hun x

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Food was ok today, I haven't logged but I will start doing tomorrow,
Just been looking through my 'skinny' pictures, and it starts when I was at uni, I went proper 'thin' for me anyhow, it was the slimmest I have ever been, at 10st5, I was dead happy, had a routine which was the same daily, my gym was below me in my halls, literally! Lol I didn't have a stupid job with stupid hours like I do now, and me and boyfriend were still a year in so things were 'fresh' lol

All last year and year before there's barely any pictures of myself, I really can't stand to see myself :-/ pretty bad that really, I'm wondering if I got on my PGCE and out of the crappy job I'm in now so I'm in a routine again with something I enjoy, it will boost weight loss, I hate my job really :-/ colleagues are nice, job is dead end and I'm better than that really! I guess you don't go all the way through the education system to quit right at the end and 'settle' taking utter **** off a boss who's 40, and lives in a poxy flat with no husband or kids because she's too much of a control freak to keep a man happy (I do actually like her but she is indeed Hitler as a boss! Lol)

Anyhow, I think I need to keep living a little, maybe buying a house at a young age and 'playing out the norms of society' is hanging over my head too much and I need to lighten up!

I need to take more pictures :) go out on nights out, make sure I've ticked off a few to do's before embarking on this career prospect, I really need to get out of this job, doesn't help when the county is in turmoil, I'm thinking of teaching abroad for 2 weeks in June, anyone else done this?
X

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Oh yes,

Btw, I have a pedometer, but I've been looking at them fitbits, my sister got one for Xmas and they look interesting, I do find seeing the numbers helps too,

Scout got walked today, she very much enjoyed it lol

X

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Weighed in this am, 14.7

I was expecting to be 15stone lol x

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We saw a deer!

And scout was intrigued lol
I did about 15mins or so walking, x

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awwwww cute doggy! how old is he? xxx
 
Sheeee is one lol she's a show type MENTAL cocker spaniel, my first pooch, she's really clever I find it really weird lol
X

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aww she is gorgeous! i thought she was a he because of the name (boy scout?) lol bet she was expensive! oh wants a puppy sooo bad xxxx
 
Haha she's named after scout finch out of to kill a mockingbird, one of my fave books lol if I had a boy I would of called him Atticus or chewbacca haha I pestered for a tan or brown boy so I could call him chewwy :-D she was only £450
She's full pedigree, but she's a pet dog not for breeding so we bought her not KC'd, her parents are though, she's lovely, but crafty! Haha x

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she sounds great!! 450 isnt too bad for a pedigree! i bet she was the most stunning puppy xxxx
 
Puppies are hard work lol don't get one! I wouldn't get another, 6 months of pure pooping and peeing on my floors! Chewing up my settee, and slippers! It was hell lol she's lovely now except she howls when no attention is being shown to her proper brat lol x

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The baby lol

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omg she was such a cute puppy!! i keep telling oh that a puppy is such hard work, especially since we're trying for a baby now i just cant handle the responsibility of both at the same time id go crazy! shes so lovely tho youre lucky xxxxx
 
Aw thank you :)


10/1/13

Breakfast
Oats so simple 135
Skimmed milk 61
Banana 105

Dinner
2 weight watcher pitta 212
Houmous 186

Tea
Pasta and sauce 511
Skimmed milk 61

Snacks
Hot choc 40
Mini jammy dodger 101
Grapes 67


1485 cals

15 under

Not a bad day! I'm gonna be lowering to 1200 next month

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Hey hun, been reading through your diary.
I'm starting CC today, first days good.

My diary is Pandas Calorie World... Will be reading yours :D
 
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