Fat Experiences

[Fia]

There's been a few but there are 3 that stick out to me were both when I was quite a bit younger and quite a bit lighter!

The first was when I was about 13 - I used to do basketball every Saturday morning with my sister - as part of an under 14's team - I HATED it! One morning I refused to go and my dad yelled "Fine so fatty".At 13 I wasn't very overweight - maybe just very slightly.
It was also extremely out of character for him to say something like that - never before or after has he ever insulted me.

Another was when I was around 15 and was walking home from school with a friend - we were walking past a lady who had a toddler in a buggy and the toddler said "That girl's so fat!" and pointed at me - my friend carried on talking and pretended she didn't hear but I was mortified!

The last and one that made me feel the worst happened when I was 17 and in my last year of school. We were playing badminton in PE and were in groups of 4 - 2 girls and 2 guys - one of the guys referred to me as "the fat one" - he knew my name so he just said it to be mean. I tried not to take it to heart as this boy had a deformity (sorry, not sure if thats the right thing to say) on his face and seemed to pick on others physical flaws to make himself feel better I guess - so, I tried not to be mad at him, I did understand.

I think I've been extremely lucky that I haven't had any worse ones happen - some in this thread are just awful - people can be so rude!

 

[LittleFlutterby]

Yes, people will always be horrible, but YOU won't always be overweight You can change your weight, they can't change being tw*ts. Congrats on the 4.5 lbs loss btw

This is very true. i dunno why it got to me so much- usually i can just brush it off *sigh*

I should feel sorry for them really- they obviously have nothing good about their lives if they get enjoyment from insulting total strangers

 

[dreamings]

Ugh, I keep thinking of these. This is free therapy in a way though, I guess.

A year or so ago my friend had bumped into 2 friends of hers I hadn't met while we were on our wy back from town. She asked them if they were going to a party at (let's call her B)'s house. B is a friend of theirs, not mine, but I know of her, she's a bigger girl due to medication I believe.
So oe of the guys, who seems quite dippy, went, "who? Oh, B! She's the f..." *looks at me* "oh, never mind". At least he shut up, I guess. But still. I quickly made my excuses and sped off!

 

[dreamings]

Also- massive hugs to you all. We will prove them all wrong!!

 

[Jettica]

These last few have been horrendous. I cannot believe how rude and cruel some people can be. We need to create some sort of shrinking army to go and hunt down there w*nkers.

Who does boxing as part of their weight loss programme? I do.

Screw not stepping to their level. Some people need to be taught manners.

I think I have rage issues.
Love you all. <3 You're all gorgeous.

 

[Morrigan]

Just had a sudden flashback to first year of university. I was with another girl talking to the cleaner there and she mentioned a third girl living in the halls of residence. Let's call her Jenny. Apparently Jenny had mentioned that we needed to dispose of some rubbish or something. When my friend asked who Jenny was (it was still early in the term), the cleaner looked at me and said "Oh she's the OTHER big girl".

It took me a day or so to realise that Jenny was ONE of the big girls and the other one was ME. I couldn't believe that I was defined in that way - I was 'the big girl'. Jenny and I looked totally different yet in the cleaner's mind we were almost exactly the same because of our size.

Poor cleaner. It's just so easy to get confused between us fatties isn't it?

 

[RainbowRose]

Crikey...i too have just thought of another!

At a 40th birthday party, one of my now ex husband's mates, who we hadn't seen for years...came over, shook ex'es hand, hugged me..and said (loudly)

"oh I see you are still as slim" ...in a sarcastic voice..meaning that i was still the huge size, if not bigger than the last time he's met me!

grrr!!!!.. some rude morons out there.

 

[Morrigan]

Wow... I just cannot believe that people can say those kind of things and not feel a horrible guilt on their conscience. I mean, if I see someone with a large nose I don't walk around saying things like "See your nose is as small as ever!". Why is it socially acceptable to mock fat people? In fact, more than socially acceptable - almost funny like a rite of passage.

I was at my cousin's BBQ recently and got tagged in a photo taken by her friend. When I looked at her friend's FB page she had in her info "I hate fat people". Like that is an acceptable statement to make! Replace the word "fat" with anything else "disabled, gay, black, chinese" and it suddenly becomes unspeakable. Disturbingly, in person the girl was absolutely lovely and yet she is totally comfortable with making such a shocking statement. I sometimes struggle to get my head round such hatred.

 

[Fia]

Just had a sudden flashback to first year of university. I was with another girl talking to the cleaner there and she mentioned a third girl living in the halls of residence. Let's call her Jenny. Apparently Jenny had mentioned that we needed to dispose of some rubbish or something. When my friend asked who Jenny was (it was still early in the term), the cleaner looked at me and said "Oh she's the OTHER big girl".

It took me a day or so to realise that Jenny was ONE of the big girls and the other one was ME. I couldn't believe that I was defined in that way - I was 'the big girl'. Jenny and I looked totally different yet in the cleaner's mind we were almost exactly the same because of our size.

Poor cleaner. It's just so easy to get confused between us fatties isn't it?

That made me think of another one.
Was also near the beginning of when I started Uni and not everyone knew names yet. There was this one girl who was quite large - much larger than me (lets call her Alice). This other girl was talking to me for a bit before a lecture and said "you're name is Alice, right?" and it happened again with another person!
I thought I was much much smaller than Alice but obviously not in other peoples eyes
I know it's not half as bad as some of the things others have had happen them but it hurt me a little.

 

[Fia]

I was at my cousin's BBQ recently and got tagged in a photo taken by her friend. When I looked at her friend's FB page she had in her info "I hate fat people". Like that is an acceptable statement to make! Replace the word "fat" with anything else "disabled, gay, black, chinese" and it suddenly becomes unspeakable. Disturbingly, in person the girl was absolutely lovely and yet she is totally comfortable with making such a shocking statement. I sometimes struggle to get my head round such hatred.

That's shocking! People really don't realize how hurtful and mean they can be

 

[Samprand]

Screw not stepping to their level. Some people need to be taught manners.

I think I have rage issues.

lol love it! i think i have rage issues too, i sometimes get an overwhelming desire to punch people in the mouth after they say something horrible, at least they wont be able to talk again for a while.

one day...one day......

 

[Fionat29]

These last few have been horrendous. I cannot believe how rude and cruel some people can be. We need to create some sort of shrinking army to go and hunt down there w*nkers.

Who does boxing as part of their weight loss programme? I do.

Screw not stepping to their level. Some people need to be taught manners.

I think I have rage issues.
Love you all. <3 You're all gorgeous.

I'd pay to see their faces if you punched their lights out! They might learn a valuable life lesson then!!

 

[Jettica]

We'll show 'em!

 

[Christiana]

People can be so cruel. I've decided that from now on, if someone decides to make a comment (either directly or passively) I will give them like for like.

Seriously, this kind of thing is not acceptable at all. We were discussing this in our class yesterday evening - I was once asked to LEAVE a clothing store, moments after I walked in. I was told nothing there would fit me, so there was no point in me coming in. I often get funny looks/giggles/whispers when going to clothes shops with my size 10 friend, but that was the first time anyone had said anything like that to me directly.

The worst part was the woman said it as though it was the most normal thing in the world to say to someone...she was almost very "matter-of-fact" about it!

 

[polly_pepper]

People can be so cruel and rude and there's really no need for it is there?

I went on a blind date once and it went ok - no love connections but he wasn't a pig or anything (or so I thought). I text him after to say thanks and he text back saying he 'didn't do fatties' and about how my appearance was quite disgusting bla bla. I had another guy tell me I'd be so pretty if I just lost weight (I clearly attract the wrong guys). I was asked recently at work if I was pregnant too. Ah the joys.

 

[StepUpFairy]

Polly - thats shocking! What a tosser, he owes you the price of the text message you wasted on being nice to that tool!

 

[icebaby]

I hate how this sort of thing makes us feel like we somehow deserve it, like we should be ashamed for some reason. It's the same as mental health issues, I hate how people think it's normal to make digs at people for that too, so I'm kind of double screwed lol.

 

[Samprand]

omg polly! funny how he said nothing to ur face and hid behind a text! probably thought he would have got a (well deserved) punch in the mouth if he'd have said anything to you. not all men are idiots though.

size shouldnt matter when it comes to love and dating. its all well and good having something/one that looks good (in this case - THIN) but if theres nothing underneath, whats the point?

 

[Samprand]

mental health and weight issues have the same level of stigma attached - some people are so ignorant!

by the way i love ur avatar lol and well done on ur amazing weight loss!

 

[Gemsaic]

Forgive the intrusion , just found this thread...got a couple to add

When I was at my largest I constantly had people hanging out of their cars being observant about my weight...morons! I could ignore most of it as they were just driving past. The worst time was I'd met a friend at the cinema and coming out was walking back to my car alone when this group of young "people" decided it would be fun to harass me and this was after I had lost three stone... " good god look at that!" said one ...and another shouted " you're in the wrong place love, you belong in a tank museum!" I tried to ignore them and kept walking, head held high, but this wasn't good enough..." hey you!" "fat one over there, did ya hear me?" " TANK museum! " ....I was mortified, angry at this being acceptable in such a public place. My struggles felt pointless... I had my long hair cut off the next day as a reaction. Then I cried. I cried and cried cos I let the ******* get to me and I hated my hair!

I've now lost just over 6 and half stone and I don't get harassed so much at a size 18 but I will never forget how that made me feel as long as I live!

I empathise with the anjou comments too, I put a large part of my weight on my families comments. My mum used to hand round choccies or desserts and then say..oh you don't want one do you? Or...I've made fresh fruit for you.....all it made me do was go home and binge eat! My parents also made loud comments about people with obesity in front of me...My dads fav was " blimey, they must eat constantly to get to that size, it's disgusting!"

I had this out with my parents a few years back and asked them to stop making decisions for me and stop trying reverse psychology cos it just made things worse. To their credit, they listened and did not realise how much their little comments hurt so my advice would be to speak up. These people, in the majority, care about you and they think it helps.....try to explain how it makes you feel. It worked for me anyway.

Good luck with your journeys and one more comment if I may, I deliberately compliment people (fat, thin or otherwise). I'm a firm believer in what you give out you get back 10 fold. A colleague of mine who is very overweight wore a new blouse the other day. It was a lovely colour, so I told her so....Her smile lit up the room.

Gem x