Fran's Diary - 2012 To Get To Target

[frannie]

Well, have a bit of a confession to make. Had a somewhat stressful day a couple of days back and dont ask me why, but I just felt I needed a glass of wine. Now I know this is absolute madness and reading my previous posts, I honsestly dont know why I succumbed. But I did - and downed 3 glasses!

I have to say, thankfully I am not one of those people who normally hit the bottle in a crisis which is probably just as well because with my former complulsive eating habits, it is most likely that my liver would be pickled if I compulsively drank alcohol!

Anyway, did I stop there...did I heck! Had the full whack - ciabatta bread and cheese, packet of crisps followed by a toffee crisp.
I am not really sure why I went so badly off the rails, but I just felt I needed to have a bit of a blow out. I did however go straight back on to mealpacks the following day.

So I have been ruminating ever since. I have not really felt deprived since starting my weight loss journey. Due to holidays, days off plan, Christmas, etc, I have had plenty of opportunity to indulge in carbs and alcohol. So why did I do it? Hormones perhaps...I sort of ruled that one out because I have managed to get through TOTM with no problems before, however due to my being in the premenopausal age, hormones could be all over the place...so that is a possibility.

Then I considered emotional crisis, but had plenty of those in the past 12 months and I have managed to stay strong.

So I am putting it down to 'just one of those things'. I had a blow out and am back on track. Does this happen to 'normal' people (and by that, I mean people who are in the normal healthy weight range)? It probably does, except it's not a major drama for them. Truthfully I have been overweight for over 25 years, so I forget what it's like to have a normal relationship with food.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, hope everyone having a good week so far. Going to be another busy one for me but hope to catch up with all your diaries at the weekend.

 

[frannie]

I decided to weigh-in and measure myself today rather than tomorrow as I am up and out early tomorrow so may not get the chance.

Despite my blow out, I have still thankfully managed to lose 2lbs this week. I think this is in the main, due to upping my exercise levels a bit.
I hope to continue on this till I get to my Easter Challenge target (to get to BMI of 25 or below).

Whilst out shopping last week, I was browsing through the Tesco sales racks as I am needing some more 'interim' clothes. From starting out at size 22, I have been reluctant to spend much on clothes which will and have become too big.

I saw a little sleeveless dress in size 14 which was reduced to £10 and whilst I thought I may never actually wear it (bingo wings self conciousness!), I thought it might be a good gauge as to how my weight loss is progressing. My weight loss journey has included a weekly ritual of trying on clothes and taking delight in them not only fitting me, but eventually becoming too big.

So this morning I tried on the little Tesco sale dress and the zip at the side went up about half way. Mmm...still a good bit to go then....!! However on putting it away, imagine my delight when I saw that it was on the wrong hanger and is actually only a size 12!!! It actually went over my head and partly zipped up!

Don't get me wrong, I know its a bit of a way to go, but I am actually considering a size 12 might be a possibility - yikes, I have NEVER been near to that before (with the exception of primary school).

Anyway, still aiming for a size 14 top to be comfortable but who knows, I can always dream.

Off to the shops now followed by a gym session - I am truly motivated, here's hoping it continues.:bliss:

 

[BordersGirl]

Fran, just catching up on some diaries and just read about your off track day. I think that people at a healthy weight must have them but they don't stress about them, and just go back to normal eating the next day. After all in terms of consumption of food it's probably no different to having a holiday blow out or something. We can absolutely allow ourselves to overindulge and overeat, but we can't do it every day (like I did pre diet for instance). Good to see you're now back on track and have lost some pounds. I too am totally motivated by clothes fitting nicely. Feeling great in a smaller size outfit is definitely a better motivator for me than a number on the scales.

 

[frannie]

Too true BG, but after being overweight for the biggest part of my life:sigh:, I wonder how long it will take for me to accept that I CAN have an off track day without feeling guilty.
It's like when I still automatically look for the big sizes and then remind myself that I do not need to fight to get to the back of the clothes rack to see if a particular item of clothing goes up to a size that fits me!

I will hopefully be joining you and Pheonix (and anyone else who is nearing the end of their weight loss journey) in the maintenance section because it will be a first for me, never having been close to target before.

 

[BordersGirl]

Ha, I'm the same with the clothes. Automatically still look down the end of the rail for the biggest sizes before realising that I need to be looking somewhere in the middle. It's a good feeling though, that, and looking at clothes without thinking that someone is wondering why I'm looking at clothes for normal sized people.

I'm most scared about reintroducing alcohol and I know that I will introduce it because I love wine and I want to be able to enjoy that at goal. It's much easier without alcohol though because when I'm not drinking it means that I'm not about to go on a carbs binge.

 

[alison55]

Just wondering how you are? Is your life still as hectic?
Have you tried the new porridge? Much more like what we were used to before........and more filling than the oatmeal, I may have to go back to having 2 a day again!! New spag bol and mac cheese are good too and I will try the chilli later.
Look forward to a catch up on how you are doing!

 

[TaraTeal]

Hi Fran,

Good to hear you are back on track and still had a loss so that's good news! Sometimes we just do these things, and people of all weights absolutely do it. My friend is a size 8 and she has movie nights with lots of treats, enjoys calorie laden meals out, nights out drinking etc But she goes to the gym a couple of times a week and for the other days she eats well. It's all about balance, and you may gain or lose lbs during maintenence but hopefully with balancing it out you can pretty much STS overall.

I had the same thing recently when I bought a dress, automatically went for the 18, but the 16 fit well, and to be honest was a little large in parts. I am still an 18 really but can't wait for the day I am a 14! I also find that sizing is different everywhere, My work trousers are 18-20s and I seemed to be buying that size before, but they still fit in shops, but I know that I've lost 6inches from my waist and 7 from my hips, so I got home and thought how the hell am I still buying a 20 in work trousers!?? I too am struggling with clothing at the moment, we are sinking every penny into the wedding so don't have much disposable income right now, but I am serious need of some interim clothes! xx

 

[frannie]

Haven't had a chance to post for a while due to a very busy work schedule. So after being all fired up and motivated last week, I have had a pretty bad week as regards sticking to the diet.

I wasn't all bad, but had a few days where I was out of my usual routine (working lunches)and rather than taking a bar with me, I ended up ordering sandwiches. I also indulged in one of the worst carb sins ever - crisps! Still in confession mode, I have to admit to having chocolate too! So I have blown myself out of ketosis again!

When I think of all the weeks and months last year that I religiously stuck to mealpacks, I cannot believe I am falling at the final hurdle!

So back on the straight and narrow once again. I have not been on the scales and my clothes dont feel any tighter, so I am hoping that my exercise level is once again providing damage limitation! I may not weigh in again till I am back in ketosis. I dont want to disillusion myself too much!

Anyway, to keep me focused, I am vowing to come on here every day (even if its late at night, lying in bed with my iPad) and I will hopefully gain inspiration from all who are managing to stay on track!

I MUST get to a BMI of 25!!!! Off now to catch up with all the diaries (that should keep me out of trouble AND out of the kitchen!).

 

[TaraTeal]

I have had a difficult week getting back on it after bday treats so know how you feel. Sometimes you just wonder why you do it. Keep yourself busy and just remind yourself of how far you've come, what you want to ahcieve and the fact that you know you can stick to it religiously, because you've done it before. That's what I am telling myself, I know I am capable of it. And the scales will keep dropping if we stick to it xxx

 

[frannie]

Wise words Tara. On reflection, I think we sort of give ourselves a bit of an unconcious pat on the back and knowing that we have come this far, a little treat wont hurt and we can make it up by getting back on track the following day and sticking to plan.

However, we didn't put on weight in the first place by just having little treats now and again, so I think the fact that we are still here seeking support and encouragement shows that we are determined not to step back too far and instead keep persevering and moving forward.

We ARE capable of getting to where we want to be and we will get there

 

[frannie]

Been pretty busy at work, so just popping in to say hi.

Have been reasonably ok the past few days but not 100%. I have started to track things on My Fitness Pal (as used by a few folk on here). I think it is emphasising to me exactly how off track I can go. I thought I knew it all as well..!!

Not holding out too much hope for Sunday's weigh in but it would be great if I STS or even lost, BUT building myself up for the worst case scenario - a gain

Anyway, trying to keep up the exercise so off to hit the tennis court now - hopefully that will burn a few cals.

Hope everyone doing ok this week.

 

[frannie]

Only a pound lost this week which is actually better than it could have been. I have been tracking my food on My Fitness Pal and it is truly amazing how much the calories/carbs can pile up even with just a few indiscretions!

However, even though I did not lose too much weight, I have lost some cms. That really is reassuring as my main goal is to comfortably fit into any size 14 top (no matter where purchased) and I think I am getting there.

To try to keep motivated, I had a wee look at what my measurements were at this time last year when I started and do a compare of what they are now:-

March 2011 .............March 2012
128cms................... 98cms (Bust)
109cms................... 80cms (Waist)
121cms.................. 96cms (Hips)

So I know I have come a long way and clearly the exercise is helping to reduce the measurements. Just need to keep pushing forward!

 

[alison55]

Wow what a difference in those measurements! I agree that its the size and how you look and feel that is more important that what the scales say! You must feel and look so different now and should be really proud of your achievements! Keep it going with the exercise and the 'new you' will keep on changing in the mirror!

 

[frannie]

After my blow out last weekend, I have been reasonably ok this week. Although not 100%, I have been tracking everything and have made sure I stayed below 1000 calories every day. That said, I have tried to keep the carbs down below 60g although I got caught out a couple of times with foods that were higher than I expected.

I am going to try to keep on track this weekend and next week. If I do, I will reward myself next Sunday (keeping it reasonable of course). My son will be home after 6 weeks away, and as it was his birthday during that time, we will be having a belated celebration on either Saturday or Sunday. All I need to do is resist temptation for 7 days, it's not that difficult. is it...!!!!!???

 

[frannie]

Another 1lb off this morning. Finding it more difficult to keep motivated though as I am only 4 lbs away from a BMI below 25. I have had an eat what I like day today (naughty, naughty). I know that it is great to be at a healthy weight, but I know by the muffin top that I still have a bit more than 4lbs to lose to get to a weight at which I feel comfortable. Oh well - onwards and downwards and noting everything on MFP. Hope this keeps me on track.....

 

[frannie]

Why, oh why did I eat 3 digestive biscuits today..????? Just logged them in MFP and they contain 213 calories and 28g of fat. Still under 1000 calories for the day, but yet again I have taken myself out of ketosis:sigh:. My lovely daughter had just left the opened packet lying there and I just couldn't resist. Tomorrow is another day.......

 

[Maka]

Hey Frannie, I struggle with temptation when a planned break is coming up so I can imagine that it's harder when you've come such a long way and you are rather close to goal. Maybe look into something that could inspire and motivate you at this stage. e.g. last month I kept a daily log of exercise and meals and that kept me on track.

 

[frannie]

Yep, Maka, you are not wrong there. I think I will give myself a bit of a break from the packs this weekend and go back with a vengeance on Monday. Plan to do a fair bit of gym and walking too so hopefully that will keep me on an even keel. I am also tracking my food and exercise on My Fitness Pal (although I have to admit, there are days when I wished I hadn't when I see how many carbs/calories I have consumed!)

Onwards and downwards!

 

[alison55]

Hi Fran,
Have a couple of days off and enjoy time with the family and then get back on track next week. Hope this week has gone well at work! Keep up with the exercise and the weight will be fine for you!

 

[Maka]

Monday draws nigh Frannie...hope you've enjoyed the weekend and good luck with the gym and walking. I'm aching cos of the stationery bike...really pushed myself today...but all worth it, eh?