From here to Eternally Slim

[Monkey_Monkey_Underpants]

Wow! You don't come on here for half a day, and stuff happens!

EF, I'm sorry about the job, but more about the home situation. There will always be a job somewhere, but the relationship stuff is obviously really tough.

Just a question though - when you say you can only access the site on his phone, do you mean you can only access HIS profile on it on his phone?

Surely you can use another PC somewhere to access the site, and if you know his profile name, won't you be able to see whether he's using the site? It would buy you some time, so that you get to decide how and when to tackle him, rather than being forced into it by circumstances.

And as MLM (so wisely - as ever) says - it's possible that he WANTED you to find it, and is looking for the confrontation, on his terms.

You could deny him that, if you could play it cool for a couple of days while gathering more information, and sorting out in your own mind what you want to do.

It's worth a thought, at least?

 

[MadameLaMinx]

^^ that what she said right there - especially that bit about me being wise.

Alternatively you could pop his phone into the toilet cistern, and deny all knowledge of having seen it. But that's the naughty ill-advised advice. Don't do that. Promise me. I'll get guilt.

 

[Monkey_Monkey_Underpants]

^^ that what she said right there - especially that bit about me being wise.

Enjoy it. I won't say it often.

 

[pesty]

You say about giving the phone back, why not do the 'copy to a word doc' like you said earlier and keep that to one side until you want to confront him? That way you still have the evidence?

Either way, even if all evidence is gone. You know the truth, you know what he has done. He can deny it as much as he wants but you only need evidence to prove to yourself what he has done, once you have that proof you dont need to keep it or prove it to him as you KNOW its true (of course evidence is always handy) the bottom line is no lie is going to make you believe this hasnt happend, you have seen it for yourself! xx

 

[MadameLaMinx]

I cant shake off this gut feeling that you are about to get stitched up EF. PLEASE dont rush in all guns blazing. This is something that you have admitted you do have a tendency to do, and now of all times, you need to be able to think on your feet.

Why else would he ring, tell your son he had left his phone at home, and check if you were there? He clearly didnt want you to bring it to him. He just wanted to make sure you saw it.

This is horrible. Purely horrible. There is very little any of us can say that will make this any less horrible. Whatever our suspicions, you have the evidence right in front of you of what an absolutely nasty sneaky scabby chap he actually is.

But think before you do anything. You need to have a plan. Dont give him the reaction he is expecting.

 

[MargyParker]

I asked if he knew you used this site as if he has read your posts he would perhaps find a way to get you back?

Even if he doesn't know your name this is the most popular thread and your photo is on your posts.

Perhaps he is just having some 'fun' and seeing if anyone is interested in him - perhaps he is sleeping around - either way you need to get out of there.

Perhaps earlier in the year would have been better?

Fact he is accessing a sex site.
Fact he is either playing mind games with you or arranging to have sex with other women. Neither scenario is a good one for you. Get out and get rid - life is too short for this *****. :sigh:. Sorry to be blunt - tis my way. No offense meant.

 

[MargyParker]

google eternal flame minimins - hey presto there is your mug and your posts.

 

[Eternalflame]

thanks... I'm meeting a couple of friends for a diet coke in a bit, jut finished work and need to talk it through. Can't see if i'd left his phone there that i could have kept the evidence as he'd deny it. Need to think long and hard about this, and was going to leave it til Friday, but as i can't get into his profile, unless i pay £6.99 each month for 12 months, I can't copy it. Not sure how I would copy this from a phone, maybe to send the info as a message, to my phone. Still need to confront him at some point and also he'd want to know why I have his phone. Its a mess.. thats what it is and really don't need it. Do you think he'd left it for me to see? There was also a message from one of his friends (not sure its not female) to a site to speak to chinese women online. hmmm he's going to Korea next week for 2 weeks!!

Margy, he doesn't know i go on to Minimins, so he'll not guess anything with re to that.

right, off to meet some mates now at the pub and will think on this some more.

Thanks again everyone. xxxxx
PS Pesty, thanks for the PM

 

[MadameLaMinx]

I hope you get your mind cleared tonight EF. His previous behaviour was enough to try the patience of a saint, this has to be the final straw?

It is however, easy enough for us to sit here and play armchair agony aunt. But this is your life we are dealing with, and only you can decide how to proceed. I just wish you well however you choose to handle it.

 

[rosiepeace]

EF - don't have any further advice but have some *hugs*

 

[pesty]

EF i hope everything went okay last night, drinks with your friends and seeing OH. I didnt have a chance to get on here last night but really wanted to see how you are.

I went to WI, STS which is good as I wasnt 100%, had a massive jacket potato when i got back and it was yum!!

Today is a massive test for me, i have a meeting in London and its going to be with a sandwich lunch provided, MASSIVE downfall for me last time so i am hoping i can have a bit of will power this time to be better.

Hope other WIs went ok?
xxx

 

[hastalavegan]

Jeez...missed a lot here

EF *massive massive hugs* so sorry about the job, but more importantly about how badly you're being treated by this arsehole. I hope last night went okay, I'm glad you went to see friends and didn't stay alone. I hope they helped you get your head round things a bit.

WI last night wasn't bad, 1lb on but I was constipated AND on my period so that was never going to give me good results. TMI, I know but I'm peeved about it. I was so good! The reason I've not been around is because I'm applying for a job as a cake decorator for a vegan cupcake company and I've been spending the last few days baking and frosting an obscene amount of very fatty, sugary cakes to take photos to send in. Not one drop of frosting touched my lips...NOT ONE...until after WI of course Anyway, I have applied now so should be about a bit more...unless I get the job, then I will be a busy busy bee.

 

[Eternalflame]

Morning

Well done Pesty on the STS and you will make the right choices at the buffet Im sure , and Hasta, that lb will be off by tomorrow .

MLM, Im still shell shocked and didn't end up saying anything yest.. am pleased about that, as I would have blown.

After yesterdays double wammy bammy news, I ended up in the pub with friends, OH called his mobile, which I didn't answer, then called from his sons to my mobile. He asked me where his mobile was and I said with all the rush that morn, after he'd called I'd grabbed his mobile and taken it downstairs and had I left this on the side? Obvioulsy not, so said I would check the car, called back and said I'd found it at the bottom of my bag and that I would bring that back later. I think he knew I knew!!! Didn't ask about if I'd heard from my job at all. So ended up back at my mates that night, drank too much to drive and stayed, hence not being able to drive back with his mobile.

Anyway, long story.. am going to gym tonight and won't be here when he gets back, so will see him after 10. I will be confronting him with his phone and will ask him where he thinks we should go from here, and whether I need to get to the docs to be checked and maybe we should go together.. but I also won't be made a fool of either, as I have been so it seems!

So.. thats my plan.. other then that, diet wise yest, drank miles too much vodka and diet coke so blew it. Line drawn and am home today getting my head together and back on plan (sausage sarnie gone for brekkie). I won't let this affect the work I've done to loose weight and I damn well won't let it control that either.

Thank you all so much once again, for your brilliant moral support
xxxx

 

[hastalavegan]

Anyway, long story.. am going to gym tonight and won't be here when he gets back, so will see him after 10. I will be confronting him with his phone and will ask him where he thinks we should go from here, and whether I need to get to the docs to be checked and maybe we should go together.. but I also won't be made a fool of either, as I have been so it seems!

Whether he admits to anything or not, I definitely think you should go and get tested and insist he does the same. I wouldn't trust a word that comes out of his mouth and you need to make sure you're clean. As I'm sure you know, lots of STDs do not come with obvious side effects. I'm sure it will embarrass him and he might get angry, but perhaps doing this will teach him a lesson and make him see what his actions are doing to you.

I don't know what else to suggest, I wish you all the best of luck, please let us know how it all goes x

 

[Eternalflame]

Thanks HAsta, and yes.. I will go and get tested.. and ask him to go with me as well..if he has nothing to hide,and this was just a male ego moral boost for him.. he'll go..!! xx

 

[constantlydizzy]

EF....Massive hugs hun, not sure what else to say Im not much help at the mo huh but I cant believe what a sneaky low life he has been doing this to you You just look after number 1 now...
x x x

Well done Pesty on the STS

Good luck HLV on the Job application

Im doing my special dance for all wednesday weighers

still feel pretty grotty today, and have got a mega headache but think the tabs are starting to work.....who knows - I may even decide to get dressed today !!

 

[geenie]

EF - Big hugs from me, hope you get things sorted. Don't know what else to say. :sigh:

Good luck to all Wednesday weighers, fingers crossed for you all.

 

[Eternalflame]

Thanks CD and Geenie.

Not sure what to say myself either,lol the more I look at it the more sick I feel. Stayed home today.. need to get some sleep and some strength to do this tonight. xx

 

[MadameLaMinx]

Good to know you got some space away from the whole thing last night. Will be thinking of you tonight. Stay in control, dont lose your rag, and be calm. He is in the wrong. You have the moral high ground here. Dont be dragged into his games, or get baited into losing your rag with him. He is so not worthy of you.

Good luck x

 

[lennis]

EF the guy is a complete snake. I also have to say that he appears to be setting things up. All I can do is send you lots of hugs and hope that everything works out OK for you both professionally and personally.