Full on binge (no food talk)

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Happydays, 8 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    :cry:Hi I've been on Lighterlife for 13 weeks and am doing absolutely great. Had a huge amount of stress the last few days and have lapsed pretty badly over 2 days. I am really frightened in case I go right off the programme with the inevitable effect. I've been yo yoing up and down for 40 years. Is there no end to it?
     
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  3. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Happy Days

    will be here again.
    Don't look on this as failure.
    Congratulate yourself on doing so well fro 13weeks. Well done.
    If you have had emotional stuff to deal with is it surprising you slip into your old behaviours of 40 years?
    No, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and
    keep going.
    Can you discuss it with your LLC?
    If you want it enough you can do it.
    Good luck Happy Days xxxx:wave_cry:
     
  4. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi
    how are you feeling about things today? hope you are back on track
    daisy x
     
  5. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    Thank you so much for responding. I have had a severe wobble. The stress levels have lowered due to some family decisions and I slept this morning until 11.30am which I think was necessary for health. One of my emotional issues I have learned is that I want to be perfect and I'm not!!! I have restarted today. I certainly do not have that "1st" day feeling at all but just intend to get through the day somehow. Part of the bad feelings are due to feeling as if I have put on half a stonen Anyway the main thing is not to give up. Stress comes up in life and I need to learn to deal with it without stuffing my face with rubbish.
    Also I feel physically "yuk", sore tummy etc. No wonder when I have been in abstinance for 13 weeks and then have a free for all.
    The really odd thing is that I did not in any way enjoy what I ate. The stuff didn't even taste nice!
    Basically I feel like a pile of poo today but come what may I shall have my food packs and my water and get back on track.
    I find the thought records great but was so stressed that I was not doing them. Lesson learned.
    I am determined :rolleyes:
     
  6. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    Really don't worry too much. You are not alone in how you are feeling. That happened to me the other week, like you I just stuffed my face but did not enjoy it.

    For me it was self-sabotage. I have not been this size and weight in 7 years and I think deep down I am scared to be smaller. I am at the smae size now that I was when I met my OH and I know he is worried that I will leave him when I am thin. So I think that sabotaging this diet is my subconcious self trying to stop me from getting smaller.

    I know this sounds ridiculous but the more that I think about it the more i believe it to be true. I am working through things and finally getting back on track as I still have another 3 stone to loose.
     
  7. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    If you want to talk more privately, feel free to PM me if you like x x
     
  8. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    Hi Becky. Snap! I also have 3 stones to lose. I think I am frightened of being thin and I already look so much different and thinner. When I pass a mirror I do a double take. It looks great but doesn't look like me, if this makes any sense.
    When I started on abstinance I was totally determined never to come off it (until RTM obviously!) and I do know that those who lapse find the process much harder. Odd though it sounds I intend to get into ketosis again and to try to take my focus off what I look like and how "different" I am becoming and just get on with taking the packs and the water. I do not have my weight loss disclosed to me every week because I would react emotionally to that and also because I have learned that Lighterlife is not about the weight loss, more about everything else. At the end of the day I will just HAVE to get used to the new me! Everyone else in my foundation group gets so excited about the weight loss but I can't cos I've always put any losses back on again. I'm a great slimmer but unable to maintain!!!!
    I feel rubbish today but feel sure that 3 or 4 days from now I will feel better.
     
  9. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Hi Happydays. I'm in week 13 and have been having some severe wobbles, although not fallen off the wagon yet it has been very tough. :devilangel:

    Well done on getting back on track. With 6 stone still to lose, lapsing is my biggest fear. In a wierd way this is helping me stick with it. xx
     
  10. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Hey Happy

    Stick with it. There is a lot of adjusting to do, but it is worth it.
    I had been hiding under my fat for a quarter of a Century. Can you imagine how scary it was "coming out"?and with everyone watching and now they are all waiting to see if I put it all back on again,
    NO WAY.
    Now I'm ,loving it and so proud of my achievement.
    Life goes on whether we are fat or thin. None of us is perfect and never will be. All we can do is the best we are able to with our lives.
    I heard Whoopi Goldberg the other day saying she caught sight of herself in a mirror, thought she was being stalked, realised it was her own arse !!!

    :8855::8855::8855::8855:
    Good luck.
     
  11. lucylastic

    lucylastic Silver Member

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    That SOOOOOOOO made me laugh!! Thanks SB :D
     
  12. loula

    loula Full Member

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    Oh Happy Days, sorry to hear you've had a little struggle. But remember, it is only a TINY little part of your weight loss journey, and having acheived 13 weeks of abstinence, you have done amazingly well. You CAN get back on track - stay focused on your goal.

    And slendablenda - LOVE the Whoopi Goldberg comment!!
     
  13. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    Feeling a lot better. Almost finished day 2 back on the foodpacks. Not huge fun, but I know I will feel better in a day or two. Also I will feel that I am on my way to goal. Yippee! This is all part of the learning curve. Nobody is perfect :eek:
     
  14. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Well done!! It's going to take us time to unlearn habits we have been following for years. You can do this! :)
     
  15. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    Thanks everyone. I am now on day 3 of foodpacks. Physically still grotty but mentally and emotionally a lot stronger. Crooked thinking has been kicked out! This is new for me. Before Lighterlife I would have been on the way back up. It DOES change your thinking. I'm not bad, rubbish and a failure as a person because a barrowload of stress turned my focus off the foodpacks. I will win and lose all my excess weight. This morning I fitted into size 14 jeans. OK breathing was difficult and I could barely sit down!!!!!!! but they were on.
    At class I do not have my weight disclosed (emotional issues with scales) but I am going to find out on Tuesday the grand total for the 14 weeks and shall keep you posted.
    This is just a blip. NO WAY am I on the way back up.:D
     
  16. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    That's great news happy. I'm really pleased for you.

    That's it, take one day at a time. That's the best way to do it.

    I bet you have lost a lot more than you could have ever imagined.

    Keep us updated x x
     
  17. tictac

    tictac Member

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    Hi there - when I read this I nearly did a double take - you could be talking about me!! Have also had a really stressful couple of days with family life and lapsed really badly. Binged etc and now really regret it big time but am feeling really down on myself this morning. I think I will have put on weight this week and feel so frustrated with myself as this too has been a 30 year battle with food. Am trying desperately to keep it in context and be positive - but its hard. Great reading this thread and people telling me not to be too hard on myself and that we are only human. Its hard to break 30+ years of habit when food has been used as my comforter. Lets dig deep and help each other. Good luck guys.
     
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  19. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Happy, I'm sooo glad to hear that you are back on track. Just remember, no one is perfect!! Even Kate Moss has to be airbrushed!!

    B x
     
  20. Happydays

    Happydays Member

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    Had final foundation weigh-in and didn't admit to my lapse. Well.... I've lost 3st 9lbs 2oz. in Foundation. I am well pleased and going smoothly forward. I freely admit that my lapse had a drastic effect on me and I have no wish to repeat the experience. I am so grateful to be losing again. :D
    I start Developers next week...looking forward to it.
     
  21. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    Wow, that's brilliant. Really glad you got yourself back on track. At least you know about lapsing now and won't do it again. I am in my last week now. It's all going great.

    How much more do you want to loose happy?
     
  22. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

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    A 30 year battle with food....isnt it a shame that we have allowed ourselves to let food direct our lives. But dont be down on yourselves anymore Happydays and Tictac because a little bit of this year and then the next 30 years are gonna be fantastic and we will be in control of our food and not the other way round. It literally will be a weight off of our shoulders so to speak :p.
    xx
     
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