Getting my mojo back!

Hello
Sorry to just jump in....
SpanglyMum......Well done on your first week..........Congrats....I have read your earlier posts and they have really resonated.....I read strength and focus and wanting to do a good job and determination and a lust for life in your posts.........
My own cockamamie theory is that I think that we might be happy slimmer because we are congruent.....our outsides reflect more closely who we really are......its why I have a mid life crisis every five years to try and reign myself back in (not doing so well hence the diet)......I refuse to be invisible and fade into the background as another fat, middle aged woman....I watched the new movie about Alfred Hitchcock the other day and was thinking why his characterisation was so good and then it hit me.......he was the right shape.....little legs, boulder of a body and his head too far forward on sloping shoulders....and I hate to say it....that's me.....so when people see me they don't see the rock concerts I've been to or the clubs (not any more I haven't got the knees for it) or the romances they see a dumpy little woman pulling a cardie across a far too ample bosom and believe that that is who I have always been.....
Sorry for going on on your diary.......your story has been an inspiration and thanks for recording it.....
Now I'm off to wee on a stick.......

Cheers
cakeordeath
 
Thanks, cake and Kira (though cake, your use if the word 'cockamamie' really spooked me with images of Misery lol.)

Weird last night. I was going to my counselling session and had had a bit of a 'meh' day at work. I got a huge urge to binge. Weird weird weird. Anyway, I bought sugar snap peas and a bag of rocket and had my munchies without the carbs. (sugar snap peas aren't the best choice but better than what i was craving.) Bravo, me! Am getting to some unsettling places with the counselling... But I'm not going to spoil my diet!

Very proud of myself for not letting my feelings dictate what I eat. I am doing this (determined face).

Oh and by the way, two cheery updates from the weekend: went to see Despicable Me 2, which was fab - and also (drum roll) my first-ever tomato has appeared on one of my plants. It's teeny tiny, like a little green bead, but I'm so chuffed!
 
Congrats on the first grown tomato! That is exciting and something I should try. I'm really pleased you didn't cave in and used the sugar snap peas and rocket to deal with your munchies. I use green beans just raw and sometimes salad leaves or odd bit of celery now and again and it really helps just take that wavering feeling of caving in.

Have another great day and remember we are in control. I have managed to get to day 4 and I just don't know how I got through the first 3 days especially since I've in thunderstorm of stress! I think I used the stress to focus on staying in control.
 
I'm so glad I didn't cave. Then this evening I was just getting things ready for the drive home and found a bag of snacks from Holland & Barrett in my rucksack. I'm not even marginally tempted - and chocolate combined with nuts is (in general) my nemesis. Result! I AM DOING THIS!! YAY!

What a feeling of relief to finally get back in control again. I've been so scared that I was "never" going to get back to my goal, and I was a "failure" etc etc. When in actual fact I had the answer all along, I just had to want it badly enough to get through the first week and into ketosis. It's making me wonder all over again about me and carbs and how to manage my weight long-term. What worked for me was a very low carb regime - and in fact most of my colleagues think of that as my "normal" because I was in the middle of learning to maintain when I started at this company and explained that "I don't eat many carbs" when I started. (Feel like a bit of a fraud having been all over the place the last six months or so - but that's the addictive nature of refined carbs, isn't it? I also had a low carb blog which I've been neglecting... must get back to it!)

Thing is, I feel so much better without the carbs. Calm and centred and peaceful. Not agonising over meals or craving things. The only thing is that carbs (and wine and gin!) taste so damn good at the time!!
 
Spanglymum said:
I'm so glad I didn't cave. Then this evening I was just getting things ready for the drive home and found a bag of snacks from Holland & Barrett in my rucksack. I'm not even marginally tempted - and chocolate combined with nuts is (in general) my nemesis. Result! I AM DOING THIS!! YAY!

What a feeling of relief to finally get back in control again. I've been so scared that I was "never" going to get back to my goal, and I was a "failure" etc etc. When in actual fact I had the answer all along, I just had to want it badly enough to get through the first week and into ketosis. It's making me wonder all over again about me and carbs and how to manage my weight long-term. What worked for me was a very low carb regime - and in fact most of my colleagues think of that as my "normal" because I was in the middle of learning to maintain when I started at this company and explained that "I don't eat many carbs" when I started. (Feel like a bit of a fraud having been all over the place the last six months or so - but that's the addictive nature of refined carbs, isn't it? I also had a low carb blog which I've been neglecting... must get back to it!)

Thing is, I feel so much better without the carbs. Calm and centred and peaceful. Not agonising over meals or craving things. The only thing is that carbs (and wine and gin!) taste so damn good at the time!!
Click to expand...
Hello Spanglymum
Glad the cravings have gone and you feel better.
Well done for resisting the snacks....

Cheers
 
Thanks! Right - another day dawns. Last commute of the week as I'm working from home tomorrow - yay!

Really enjoying waking up feeling GOOD about myself!
 
Morning Spangly! You're close to the end of week 2 now! I'm on day 5 (re-started Sunday) but weigh in for me is Monday. I resisted a whiskey last night but decided that turning to alcohol for comfort was far worse than turning to food for comfort! So I had neither! Mind you didn't particularly feel hungry yesterday so ketosis much have kicked in.
 
Good for you, resisting the whisky! You've almost done your first week! :) You've got less than a stone to go as well - very envious!!
 
AWh! Thanks Spangly! I'm exhausted from PT session this morning. Trainer worked me hard. He knows I'm doing S&S but has suggested I consume a larger protein meal than what is suggested on S&S. Hopefully, 2 weeks of this should have me back in control and then I can start re-feed but still use some of the S&S. I have been struggling to lose this last stone for a few months now! At one point I only had 8 and a half pounds to goal but last few weeks I over ate with a few binges! Had been doing so well!

Anyhow, don't be envious! You will reach goal and I'll be pushing to get shot of the last stone!! Anyhow you have "under" 2 stones to lose now! That few pounds make such a difference and makes it feel so much more doable!

Hope the rest of the day goes well! I am sure it will now you are deep into ketosis!
 
Well, weirdly the rest of yesterday and all of today were quite difficult. I didn't seem to be able to stop thinking about when my next pack would be and the day seemed lonnnnnnng. I got through it but it was strangely challenging. Anyway, perhaps I'll find tomorrow easier? Trousers are getting loose everywhere except the waistband, which is also weird. After all, it's the belly fat that causes the most health problems, so I do hope I can get rid of it again!

Well I guess it's still early days really. Only part-way through week two after all. Patience!

I went to my first art group last night. They were a friendly enough bunch but a totally different demographic, shall we say? Hilarious to find myself feeling like the young one in the room for once lol. Pity they all seem to think 'all modern art is rubbish' and don't get them started on abstraction! I have much to learn from them though, so I'm keeping my opinions to myself (for now, anyway).
 
Hubby is SNORING so am wide awake. Gah! Feeling positive again though (despite it being 3am). I actually believe I'm going to do this, which is brilliant after so many months of despairing and feeling down on myself. Can't wait to get my lovely clothes back down out of the attic!
 
Spangly you are doing this and you will continue too. Start thinking about long term maintenance soon so it gives you a sense of vlcd will come to end end. That will help to remind yourself it's temporary and get you through challenging days like yesterday.

The art class sounds great even with the different demograph! It's a great way to not be thinking about food! A hobby that's what I need!
 
Good point, to remember that this is temporary. Yes. It's easy to lose sight of that and get quite low about how far there is to go.

My Mum's 85th tomorrow! She's planned a buffet after church at a local inn. I will be (a) driving and (b) busy getting food organised for my daughters and husband - so I doubt anyone will notice me only having coffee and mineral water! ;-)

Mum told me today she was expecting me to make small talk with anyone who looks left out. She forgets I'm actually quite shy in these situations, especially with people I don't know.

Also she's caused a lot of bad feeling by not inviting anyone from my husband's side of the family.

Families, eh?! Who'd have em?!
 
So I took me and my grumpy mood to bed early last night and have woken up in a much better place lol. I always forget how grouchy I get when I'm tired. I'm sure part of my carb cravings in the evening (when I'm not on a vlcd or low-carbing) are to do with tiredness. It sounds so simple but I always forget. I'm just like my children saying, 'I'm not tired!' indignantly, when they quite patently are.

Ah, the joys of self-awareness lol.

Weigh-in two tomorrow. I had a sneaky peek yesterday and know I've lost a wee bit more this week... Fingers crossed it will be good (by which I mean over 2lb).
 
Spangly that's looking like a good loss! You'll be fine at the buffet and like you say no one will notice as they will all be busy eating! Try and enjoy and hopefully your mum won't notice you not making chit chat as she'll be busy having agood time chatting with her mates!
 
Hmm. Today went a bit awry. Not going to be down on self. Mum presses all my buttons! Back on it tomorrow.
 
Good attitude. It really is a tightrope doing a vlcd. I was doing so fine last week upto day and 5 and bam! Off plan when I'd ding really think I wanted to be off plan. A knock I the routine can just make the difference. New week new day and it will get off to a good start.

Btw the way I love my mum but boy she can press my buttons and I'm a grown up .. Almost!
 
It is what it is, I guess! Haven't weighed today as I expect I will have some glycogen weight back on which would depress me (and then be an excuse to carry on etc etc). Foolish of me to choose to "off-road" in response to a minorly irksome day. Oh well. I need to find strategies other than carbs for days like that. (It was fun at the time though!)

I'm meeting up with a group of local mums this evening who are doing the Race for Life on the 21st and asked me to join them. I am sooooooo unfit and it's very late for me to have signed up for it (only three weeks to go!) but I've been assured I can walk if I need to rather than jogging the whole 5k (eek)...

Edited to add - I've been wondering what triggered me and realise it was that I had my photo taken by my (very slim) cousin and my arms looked fat (when I was slim I liked my arms a lot) :( trivial of me, but it bothered me more than I realised at the time. Daft to think that eating carbs would make me feel better though. I started on food because there weren't as many people at the party as I'd expected so it was difficult to be subtle about not eating... and then I carried on in the evening. Sigh. Oh well. Lessons learned and all that.

It's my birthday this coming weekend as well. I need to NOT use this as an excuse to spoil my diet again!
 
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It's good you have thought about what triggered you to go off plan. I analysed why I went off plan last week and it was good understand why so that I can tackle that feeling again. Mind you it has taken me to today to get back on track! Sigh! Just have to keep having another bash at this and not give up.
 
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