good loss but so sad today

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by clair75, 18 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. clair75

    clair75 Full Member

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    WI this morning lost 4lb git first stone award

    But can’t help think its from stress. Done a lot of crying and not much eating
    Thing is me and other half are planning to marry July 2010.
    But other half is still married, been split 4 years now, and been trying for a divorce for last year or so. His ex will not sign papers.
    Some people may say other half should not have asked me to marry him until divorce but he did and I said yes,
    And the beginning of this year his ex said she would sign papers, she as got on with her life she moved away lives with her man and late last year had a new baby,
    Anyway we sent new forms, she wonted changes so we did that and sent more and she text other half to say had signed and sent back to courts,
    So we started the waiting game, and this week other half solicitor got back to us saying courts have had nothing back from her again, and after she said would .
    Now don’t know what’s happening other half said his solicitor is on to it and will do it with out her consent, but I get the feeling she will do any think to stop it happening,
    With the wedding planned and 17 months away I just don’t know what to do. To carry on with plans and like solicitor says he will sort it and be done this year, or hold wedding till is divorced and can plan knowing all ok.
    But if do that what do I tell people as all families no and I have told my mum other half is divorced already to stop her having a go. I no was wrong now.
    The date we have planned will come along if my wedding day or not and god that will hurt if not
    All I won’t to do is eat chocolate and cry I was only doing this plan to look my best on the wedding day looks like no point now may as well give up now :cry:
     
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  3. starbex

    starbex Member

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    Don't give up your being very brave having to put up with this.
    If you give up now she will win. She's obviously playing a very sick game not letting your other half get on with his life even though she has.
    She is a very petty woman who thinks she has power over you but don't let her. She wants to know she has got to you but don't let it show.
    I'm sure you will look great on your wedding day and congrat on your loss.
    Keep at it it will work out in the end.

    Bex
    xxx :)
     
  4. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Hi Huni.

    Firstly well done on the loss this week.
    Secondly, dont think that you wont have your wedding as planned, because thats just giving in. Be a fighter and keep believing that you will have the wedding.
    Your Solicitor is being paid to do his job and they will, unfortunately it does take time, but it will happen.
    Surely the ex-(or soon to be)'s partner must have something to say about this as well...why is she holding off signing the papers, if she's moved on and had a baby by him?? If that was me, I would be very suspicious!!
    Anyway, dont resign yourself to not having the wedding of your dreams, until you know for definite. I can understand why you havent told your Mum about the divorce due to the aggro, but Im sure she will be there to support you regardless of the outcome.

    Take care

    Kerry-Ann
    xxx
     
  5. Melsy

    Melsy Full Member

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    Hello,

    I'm sure if you have lived apart for 3 years you don't need the other party to sign anything. Check it out. I'm speaking from experience, my ex wouldn't sign, so I had to wait 3 years.

    You should be fine, you have got enough time to sort it.

    Planning your wedding should be so happy, don't let her spoil it.
     
  6. eye6769

    eye6769 Vegetarian who lives2eat

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    might seem silly question but why doesnt your partner divorce his wife for adultery she clearly has had an affair whilst they still married,separated or not,then you dont have to wait for her to sign papers,might seem drastic action but could take the wind out her sails and allow you to move on with your plans even if its only a bluff,hope all goes well,look forward to the photo's
     
  7. LadyHelen

    LadyHelen No Coffee, No Workee

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    It's 5 years - if you've been separated for 5 years then either of you can divorce the other without their permission. (Ex Family Law Paralegal speaking. ;))

    Hang in there lovey - if all else fails you're not very far from the magic 5 year separation point, and then there's nothing she can do about it. Let her play her sick little games for now if it makes her happy - just hang on to the knowledge that in another year there's nothing she can do about it. :hug99:
     
  8. Annie68

    Annie68 Silver Member

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    I also thought that once you'd been separated for a certain amount of time, the divorce could go through as requested even without a signature, especially as she's moved away and has a baby by another man. If she won't sign, I'm sure grounds for divorce can be adultery on her part (even if it wasn't at the time, that's the current situation) and she won't have to sign for that.. I think. Don't quote me as 100% right, but I think it's something along those lines.

    Don't give up!! You say you are losing weight for your wedding.. why not make the reason to lose weight YOU. You want to lose weight for yourself to make yourself feel better. Don't touch the chocolate, but wipe your tears up and get on with the rest of the day. You deserve to be happy and celebrate that 4 pound loss. You've done so well already, don't go an undo it all for something that you only think may or may not happen. Solicitors know what they're doing, but keep on their case to check up what stage their at.. keep pushing and you'll get there :D

    Big hugs to you xxx
     
  9. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    hey honey, i used to work for a solicitors and the more you nag them and ring the more fed up of you they will get and work harder XXXXX plus everytime you call your folder goes to the top of the pile, don't give up on your wedding just yet try the adultery idea on with the solicitor see what he thinks,
     
  10. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    I definately agree with above as I was a legal secretary and thats how it works.

    Keep your chin up, think positive and get phoning.:)
     
  11. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Hi there, sorry you are feeling so low. I can't believe how some people behave, she is just doing it to be aukward (sp?), she prob doesn't want to be with your man but doesn't want him to be happy with someone else either. I agree with what everyone else has said. Don't fall off the wagon due to her, keep at it and see what comes of it. Keep harrasing the solicitor so things are done quickly. Keep your chin up honey xxx
     
  12. clair75

    clair75 Full Member

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    thanks all i feel a bit more posative now,

    he is all ready gone down adultery rote, the court just need to no she as had the papers, she moved 3 times so been hard to just get that.
    but other half solicitor said now she as said in a text as got them and said sent back we can prove she as had them. hope you understand, so now can be done with out sign from her. not sure how long this will all take, the solicitor should be fed up with this case as always ringing him all the time,
    other half going in monday to download text for court,
    ill be so glade when all over she as been a cow,she moved this kids to kent over 250 miles from us, so we cant see them much, and even now after her new baby with her new man she still trying to hurt us.

    well had one pack of crisps which i just needed. now going to have a mug shot and pull myself together 17 months to the wedding it cant possable take that long can it?

    thanks all:grouphugg:
     
    Last edited: 18 February 2009
  13. domino

    domino Full Member

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    As LadyH says, it's 5 years then your OH can divorce without her permission. No signature required. Your solicitor knows that, which is why he/she has said not to worry. So carry on with your plans and look forward to your lovely wedding in 2010 :hug99:
     
  14. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

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    She's obviously a very sick and vindictive woman. You WILL have your lovely wedding! Try not to eat out of frustration, and remember, you and your new fella will be happy ever after! When OH and I got together, his previous GF kept phoneing his mother and even took an overdose, it just showed how desperate she was, and yes I was really upste, BUT I haven't thought about it for years till tonight. This WILL pass and you will be happy. I'll ask my Angels to help you. :gen126:
     
  15. LadyHelen

    LadyHelen No Coffee, No Workee

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    Not always true, the more clients made a pain in the arse of themselves, the less likely I got to take their calls after a while if there was nothing new to tell them!
     
  16. ronniejacobs

    ronniejacobs Gold Member

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    aw honey sending you huge hugs
     
  17. Harrie

    Harrie Silver Member

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    Hey, don't let that cow get you down. Next year, you'll be lovely and slim AND be married to the man you love. Now how great will that be?
     
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