Had a bit of a glimmer of hope last night...

[AmandaJayne]

Hello, it's me again:wave_cry:,

I haven't been posting, just lurking. Spending time talking myself out of this depression. It's all in the mind after all. I don't want to go back to anti-depressants. Anyway, yesterday I was visualising postive thoughts when I felt a warm glow all over (no, no not THAT type of warm glow). There it was, that feeling of hope, that possibility that I COULD achieve what I wanted.

Well, I grabbed hold of it (no, no not THAT you mucky pups), and tried to develop the vision further. So, today I will see how it affects my food decisions and feelings.

One day at a time. In fact today, one hour at a time will be good.

It is feels great when we can crawl out of the abyss and see the light because sometimes when we are scrabbling around in the dark, we can't see what we're missing.

Anyway, good morning all!:26:

AJ

 

[IreneH]

Love your positive thoughts
Irene x

 

[uglyduck16]

Hi Amanda
PMA can go a long way :happy036::clap:
Keep up the possitive thoughts, and take it day by day or hour by hour if that feels right for you
Xxx Lizzie xxX

 

[SafcGirl31]

Love your honesty and I'm sending you lots of positive vibes. One thing I have found with visualisation is that if you see yourself the way the people in your life who love you see you it helps.
Take care x

PS. I am mainly a lurker stuck in a black hole!

 

[AmandaJayne]

"Love your positive thoughts
Irene x"

Aw thanks hun. I am up and down like a fiddlers elbow (as me mum would say). Lots of turbulance...

"PMA can go a long way :happy036::clap:
Keep up the possitive thoughts, and take it day by day or hour by hour if that feels right for you
Xxx Lizzie xxX "

You're dead right, Lizzie. I think the important thing is not to give myself a hard time all the time. It's so blooming negative and tiring!

"Love your honesty and I'm sending you lots of positive vibes. One thing I have found with visualisation is that if you see yourself the way the people in your life who love you see you it helps.
Take care x

PS. I am mainly a lurker stuck in a black hole! "

Hey there SafcGirl! Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It is much appreciated. I know only too well what it's like to be a 'lurker stuck in a black hole'!

AJ

p.s. Can I join you in your black hole please. It may be more bearable with company.

 

[IreneH]

How are you today?
Irene xx

 

[Happe]

good to see you being so positive. sometimes its too hard to see the good things in our lives isnt it? But there is always hope and as long as we hold onto that glimmer of light everything will work out. Sending some (((hugs))) to help keep that glow alight.

 

[AmandaJayne]

"How are you today?
Irene xx"



Hello there Irene. Snuggled up by the fire just now, trying to keep warm. Using the cat as a hot water bottle, a purry, furry one.

Gearing up for the holidays - five and a half working days left...

I was just thinking the other day while at school that when I am busy concentrating and focused on what whatever task I'm doing (i.e. supporting pupils with maths, designing displays, organising trips) I am fine and think that I do my work well. Yes, even I have to admit that.

Other times I seem to get caught up with dwelling on my physical image, how much I have failed and how angry with myself I am. I have been talking myself out of this sort of negative thinking because I KNOW that it is ridiculous. I know that it is just my warped, distorted opinion (at the moment).

I tell myself to imagine that I feel gorgeous, look fabulous, and am going to have the best day ever because if I can convince myself that that is true, I can probably convince everyone else too.

I am aware that my demeanor prevents people getting too close and that is something I cannot control at the moment. I just don't have the key yet. It is a fear thing. I am terrified of rejection, I expect it and have to put things in place to protect me. It is a blooming nuisance and so limiting. When things get overwhelming it is comforting to eat because for a while I do feel better. Yet at the same time I want to stop this.

It is irritating to hear people say 'just eat less and exercise more'. My hubby said that one day and I am still devastated because I realised that he does not understand. I know he was trying to be helpful and giving me practical advice but it was upsetting. Naturally, I hid my distress (as usual) because supressing my feelings is normal behaviour for me.

Thankfully, he has always loved me whatever size I was and has never complained about the amount of money I have spent in our time together on diets, foods and apparatus. I still feel bad that I have let him down...again.

Well I've had a little cry:cry: while writing this but do feel better for having written it. Thanks hun for your kindness.

I do look forward to seeing you and Cat sometime next year at some town or city somewhere. How are things with you?

:109:AJ

 

[AmandaJayne]

good to see you being so positive. sometimes its too hard to see the good things in our lives isnt it? But there is always hope and as long as we hold onto that glimmer of light everything will work out. Sending some (((hugs))) to help keep that glow alight.

Hia Happe!

You are right, sometimes we DO take things we have for granted, and suddenly when we don't have them, we realise how lucky we were.

Your Perry has certainly learned this lesson recently, hasn't he? But you too have had to have a real long think about what is important in your life. I am delighted that things seem to have sorted themselves out with your family. Thanks to your courage of course. What a brave and wonderful thing you did, Happe.

Have a famtastic and wonderful Christmas this year Happe, you deserve it!

:33:AJ

 

[Lynn8124]

Hi there AJ I'd been wondering how you were getting on. Your post was really positive and trying to incorporate that into your daily life is the way to go I reckon, so nice one, go girl!

 

[AmandaJayne]

Hello there Lyn,

Been thinking (this is getting to be a habit) - what about 'pretending that I am at goal and wanting to stay there'.

How would I behave if I wanted to 'stay slim'? Why not start behaving that way now, as if I am? What can I lose? Well, obviously weight, eventually.

No weighing necessary, just becoming aware of looser clothes from time to time.

No calorie counting necessary, just checking out what's on the plate and 'thinking like the slim person I am'.

It is something to think about, anyway, and certainly beats thinking about what to get my dad for Christmas. An impossible task...

Have a great evening, don't forget Xfactor!

AJ

 

[Lynn8124]

Hi again. That's definately a good idea. I reckon if we can change our thoughts we can change how we act. Just wish I could put it into practice!

I have started listening to my PMK and Marisa Peer cds again in the last few days.

This is the first year I have watched the X Factor right through. I bought my Dad walking boots and underwear lol.

 

[AmandaJayne]

Hi again. That's definately a good idea. I reckon if we can change our thoughts we can change how we act. Just wish I could put it into practice! Me too!

I have started listening to my PMK and Marisa Peer cds again in the last few days.


This is the first year I have watched the X Factor right through. I bought my Dad walking boots and underwear lol.

My dad gets a bit 'bah humbug' at this time of year. I'll just get him a large bottle of malt Whisky, he's appreciate that.

Take care now.

AJ