Having a down day and i'm venting ..

[summergurl]

:cry: :cry: :cry:

Having a shitty shitty day :sigh:

Am trying to search for a 'real' job to no avail ... the only police force taking on right now is the met - not too keen on moving out of plymouth just yet.

No prison officer jobs, anywhere!

I can't even apply to be a special for my police constabulary! A bloomin special!!! A volunteer - you'd think they'd want volunteers but noooooooooo

No jobs in catering, an if there are i need bloody experience - give me a job and i'll get some wont i!! Jeeeezzz

I feel like i've lost no weight this week even though am only on one meal a day and 2 shakes. All i wana do is binge binge binge ... crisps, chocolate, sandwiches you name it i want it!

I've got so much planned this summer and im guessing i'm going to run out of money even though i have a minimal amount of money saved for my 2 trips away general living in august will be tight.

All i wana do is sleep, sleep sleep! But i can't else i wont sleep tonight. Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

And to top it off i've lost £20 .... don't know how don't know where!! I've misplaced it i think but i cant bloody find it

Rant over. Sorry guys!

 

[joy1]

well hope you feel better for the rant, I am sure you will continue to lose weight if you stick to your two shakes and a meal. As far as work goes, keep trying honey, something will turn up. chin up xx

 

[Michillinwoman]

You poor thing you are having a bad one !!!!!!!. It must be very frustrating after working so hard at your degree and the exams and now find it hard to get a job . I suppose the current downturn isnt helping either. Have you thought about trying to get a part time job just to tide you over (or are you still in the mail office) . Hopefully the economy wil turn again soon and there will be more jobs.But in the meantime you are better off for your CV to be getting work experience somewhere.Also it would keep you buzy and less time to dwell on things and FOOD!!!!!!!!!!

Dont let this stress lead you back to bad habits. You want to look your best for interviews and overeating will only give you another problem to battle .

Hope you find your £20 .Ill say a prayer to saint Anthony !!!!!!!!

You are a strong lady and as my mother used to say "its always darkest before the dawn".

 

[positivgal]

Tanya just look at your before and after pictures you look amazin girly keep your chin up as negativity will block your progress just go and take a long bath and take some deep breaths and repeat " I am a wonderful lady whos done fantastic and all good things are coming to me now " youll see! it will all turn around for you we all have bad days and we all want to get to the top of our own personal mountain but what people forget is most of the fun occurs whilst climbing it!!! xxxx Keep on Keeping on My msn is [email protected] feel free to add me for a buddy I have just lost 12 pound in my first week so im delighted xxx

 

[JanD]

****quivers in the corner and bites nails hoping Tanya feels better soon coz she's so lovely and doesn't deserve to feel down**** xxx

 

[summergurl]

I had a nap in the end, woke up feeling ok but my day just gets f***ing better dunnit!

Just had a blazing row with the bf - he's not coming to my graduation. Of all things, an important day for me and he's not coming. After 5 and a half years together you'd think he'd care enough right?

He wants to cancel the meal at Jamie's restaurant too and its his birthday this weekend and has said he is spending it alone. He's ignoring me now which is horrible, plain horrible.

I just wana reach for the food .... but think i will get into bed and watch a cooking programme! lol

 

[JanD]

Oh dear ...... who's beginning to see how much more confident and happy you are and feeling threatened then????????

Oh dear ....

They do say that when big changes happen in your life there must be consequences. At least one big area of your life will change... Relationship, home or work ...... and who knows how many things within these headings ....... ?? ....

Love & hugs Tan while you figure out what's going on and what you want to do about it ..... xxx

 

[nicolas]

ah pet, it will get better he will come around, as for the job something will turn up , u have done fantastastic and should be oozzing with confidance, u will get tru this

 

[summergurl]

I think you may be right Jan I love him to pieces but to be perfectly honest i cant take much more of being at the brunt of his silly mood swings and i certainly dont deserve to be ignored!

I'm trying to sleep but cant - i'll let off my anger at the gym tomorrow - tear it up! :giggle:

 

[summergurl]

Thanks nicolas - i doubt he'll come round - last time he did this he ignored me for just over a week! It's bloody petty and im damn sure i am not in the wrong here! - bloody men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nicolas]

well u obv kno better than i do missus, maybe jan is right and he's finding it hard to get used to the new u, hope u get tru the night ok pet

 

[JanD]

RIGHT!!!!

SO!!!!!

You're sure you're not in the the wrong ...... you don't know for sure what's going on BUT - you know you are in a place you really want to be and if he's not happy with that place that's his problem ....... SO!!! .....

....... Do what you want to do ..... be how you want to be ...... see what happens and if he doesn't like any of these things .... ???? Then you'll have to decide whether he is worth re-evaluating your status .....

You KNOW you owe it to yourself to be who and what you KNOW you can be ......

..... much love and lots of hugs .....

Jan xxx

 

[nicolas]

hope you have a good day today missus

 

[Michillinwoman]

What is the problem with him going to your graduation . Is it difficult for him to get off work? . Just wondering at his reasoning here. As for ignoring you on his birthday that is just a petty way at fighting back just to get at you . I would say ignore it and see who comes running back on his birthday for some TLC.

But at the end of the day Tanya , you know him better and I am just reading between the lines. Hopefully he will ring and apologise today :wave_cry:

 

[Aoife]

Sometimes people say things in anger that they don't really mean. But hold steady girl you are not in the wrong. Can understand why you are upset that he cannot attend your graduation. So let him come crawling back.

Catch up with your girlie friends and have a couple of chick flick dvd nights in - if going out if too expensive. Enjoy your time and let the situation calm down.

Good luck and by the way well done on not bingeing, you are doing briliantly, with all life's frustrations.

 

[Scotsmist]

Hi Tanya

Only read your post now.....hope things are going a bit better today.

Can I ask; what were you like before you lost weight? Did you give into his moods, etc....as I know when we are bigger, we tend to think that is what we deserve? Just wondering if it is the fact that you have gained in confidence, and he is worried that you will look elsewhere??? Sometimes this comes out in such wierd insecure ways.

You deserve only the best now and I think your mindset has probably changed over the past year. Dont give him sweetie, because that only leads to you giving in every time.

I do hope everything works out for you; dont reach for that old crutch sweetie...you are worth more than that now!!!!!!! You are incredibly strong and things will turn out for the better for you.

Take care and thinking of you.

 

[summergurl]

Thanks for all your replies! Means alot that you guys on here care I still havnt heard from him he's playing the ignore tanya game but i rang him this morning as we usually speak everymorning before i go to work and when he has just finished (he works nights) and he didnt answer so i sent him a message telling him he has untill 7pm tonight (the time he goes to work) to speak to me. And if not thats the end of it. I'm not being made a fool of again, as he has done this ignoring me buisness before for about a week and i constantly rang him, texted him etc and i'm not doing it again.

So we shall see. If not, i'll just have the cool dvd player i bought him for his birthday for my room! :giggle:

You KNOW you owe it to yourself to be who and what you KNOW you can be ......

..... much love and lots of hugs .....

Jan xxx

Awww fankyou Jan :hug99: You always say the right words!

What is the problem with him going to your graduation . Is it difficult for him to get off work? . Just wondering at his reasoning here. As for ignoring you on his birthday that is just a petty way at fighting back just to get at you . I would say ignore it and see who comes running back on his birthday for some TLC.

But at the end of the day Tanya , you know him better and I am just reading between the lines. Hopefully he will ring and apologise today :wave_cry:

He works nights chick, my graduation is at 4pm so he will be up for it and doesnt start work that day untill 10pm, plenty of time. He has even asked for holiday that day but now im guessing he has changed his mind!

Hi Tanya

Only read your post now.....hope things are going a bit better today.

Can I ask; what were you like before you lost weight? Did you give into his moods, etc....as I know when we are bigger, we tend to think that is what we deserve? Just wondering if it is the fact that you have gained in confidence, and he is worried that you will look elsewhere??? Sometimes this comes out in such wierd insecure ways.

You deserve only the best now and I think your mindset has probably changed over the past year. Dont give him sweetie, because that only leads to you giving in every time.

I do hope everything works out for you; dont reach for that old crutch sweetie...you are worth more than that now!!!!!!! You are incredibly strong and things will turn out for the better for you.

Take care and thinking of you.

Scots, like i said above, yeah i pretty much gave into his moods all the time. Everything was always my fault and i always agreed, but not this time. I'm not doing it. If he wants to play silly games let him, but he is not going to play them with me!

I swear sometimes, men have worse PMT than us girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, i am hoping :fingerscrossed: he speaks to me tonight, if not i will be strong and will face a 'lonely' summer and 'lonely' birthday for the first time in 6 years

 

[Scotsmist]

Will be thinking of ya.......

 

[summergurl]

I hate waiting ..... lol

 

[Michillinwoman]

Dont worry about being lonely . A pretty girl like you wont be alone for long . Hope things work out for you . Breda