Thanks hon
i feel quite messy in my head, but everything else is going fine.. works got alot better and im even starting my own art classes in september which im doing lots of training for and very much looking fowards to doin, but the last three weeks has just been awful food wise. I have no will power, self confidence or motivation and can easily be swayed.. but it feels like the worse its getting, its just spiraling and so theres a part of me thats desperate to rein it in, and another part that just doesnt want to care anymore.
Day 1 on special k today and it sucks ass. I cant decide whether this constant sick stomach ache i have is because i have overeaten so much the last few days its recovering, or because the diet is 'hurting' me.. but its only been one day and i cant throw in the towel yet. I know even just a week will make a difference, i hope. Theres a part of me that thinks itl all be a wasted effort. I am concerned, but wont know untill iv given it a honest shot. As i said before when i was 13 (dont judge me lol) i gave it a go for 3 weeks because my mum put me on itl and i lost 10lbs.. and i know i wasnt being 100%.. constantly sneaking treats when i could.
I hope by giving it an honest shot it'l give me a decent loss and then i can begin appreciating slimmingworld a bit better.
im so angry with myself for geting myself in a mess with it all im determined to stick it out even if i hate every minute, but i'm also finding it hard to stop feeling sorry for myself and giving in. Deep down i know this is my first real test, i know if i dont do it now i will loose it forever and i cant do that. I have to be strong.
Todays eating
breakfast: 40g special k, 125 mls semi skimmed milk
snack: 5 cubes of melon.
lunch: 40 special k sustain, 125 ml semi skimmed milk
snack: 1 apple.
tea: 1 small jacket pot, little bit of flora light, small individual can of baked beans, salad leaves and 4 cherry tomatoes.
diet lemonade and water.
:cry:
1 day down 5 days to go till WI
