How do I do it?

[_hmelli]

I'm not really here posting much at all, and haven't been on this page for months, but I really need help and need ot turn to someone, or people, who can actually listen and help me out.

I am an almost 23-year-old, I'm only 5'3" and as of this morning I weigh bang on 15 and a half stone.
Over the last six years, I have battled with a chronic neurological disorder that has severely impacted on my earlier years, I didn't go out drinking and having fun with friends - I didn't do anything.
Now, I seem to have fallen into a natural remission, although it could pop up again at any time.

But in January 2014, even when I was poorly, I joined Slimming World weighing 13st6, and lost 3 stone in 30 weeks and I got myself at target. I was 10st5, happy, confident, smiling.
But with target, I lost control, and then in September, I met my boyfriend - he was a result of my new confidence - I joined Tinder, met Matt and I'm still with him two and a half years later. But with that relationship, I became complacent. We both comfort ate, and not only me, he got bigger too. He gained around a stone and a half, whilst I managed to whack on 5 stone in 2 years.

Here I am now. I've rejoined Slimming World three or four times - could not lose weight. Could not stick to it. I've done Cabbage Soup (this did work, I lost 6lb in 6 days) however, it wasn't sustainable obviously. I joined Weight Watchers, thinking something new would be exciting and I'd be able to be successful and drop the weight - but I haven't.

I just can't stop misbehaving, eating and drinking whatever I want, whenever I want. Nothing stops me. No willpower. Nothing.

I've been out drinking alot too, which is good for me to be more sociable and make up for what I've missed out on after I've been ill - but it isn't an excuse.

How do I do it? How do I motivate myself? I know how much I want it, so I don't need to remind myself, I know the pros and cons and I want to get it done - but I can't stop myself from just eating crap no matter how much I want it.

Please help...
What do I do?

 

[Emmaline]

First of all Hmelli I would have to say that your whole attitude needs to change as somehow it seems that you want things around you to change in order for you to be able to take charge of your life.
Nobody can make you stop drinking or being naughty you have to want to do it for yourself and you will only do that when you start to make positive plans about what you are doing with your life .. plan to have some good wholesome meals just for the next day .. plan to arrange for any social event so you won't be drawn into the first thing that will get you into those difficult situations.
I do hope you will be able to make the step towards a better feeling and a happier you.

 

[tipperary]

Hi Hmelli, I am very new here and only a week into my journey but a number of years ago I did lose weight and went from 84 kg to 64kg. Emmaline is right, it is a change in attitude but I really cant explain how that comes about. The last time I did it I had been to a wedding in January and was very upset that I couldn't find anything nice or comfortable to wear, and then was horrified to see my size in the wedding photos and realised this photo would be in existence forever with a big fat me.
This time (fingers crossed it will last) I really don't know what clicked. I have been overweight and kept saying I must lose weight, I was eating and drinking way too much and knew it. I have some minor health problems but nothing really that would shock me enough into getting healthy. I just woke up and the sun was shining and I said to myself that's enough. I bought a pair of walking runners, bought some healthy food and got membership of the leisure centre and here I am.
I find keeping a food diary a great help, I write EVERYTHING down including chewing gum and mints. It is only when 6 glasses of red wine, a packet of crisps and a tub of dip are written down that I saw how much it was.
I don't know what the "dawning" was. Would your boyfriend join you in losing weight, I haven't got my husband slimming but he is coming for the odd walk or swim and as I am cooking for all the family he is eating healthier too and drinking less as I haven't got the wine open when he gets home.

Write down all the negatives about being overweight, how it makes you feel, what it prevents you doing and see if that provides any motivation.