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I cheated last night.....

#1
Well.............

I cheated last night and I think im already understanding whats goes on in my head.

On sat night I felt starving... i just wanted to eat and eat.. I told my partner and he was really supportive and I didnt. I also text a friend and she (on CD) kept me strong. I realised that I felt that way because sat night usually = takeway/meal out and major snack fest.

Anyway yesterday was diffrent story.... I started to study for my theroy test and did two mock test. I failed both (by 2/3 points) so not much. But my partner passed his (he's doing it the same day) and he passed. Anyway I laid on the sofa feeling crap and then harped on about eating for a hour. Evenually my bloke gave in and said ok have half a pack (id had my four) so i went in the kitchen and ate the whole Raspberry bar (which is really tasty btw) and ate it all with no intention of eating just half. Damn those bars........

I felt awful afterwards and felt teary this morning. Anyway i've been on the scales and they have gone down again. So I might be safe and am going to only have 3 packs today and as much water as I can before weigh in.

But I feel like such a faliure......... I cracked after just 6 days.

Agghhhh so angry with myself. Im just glad it wasnt normal food. My mind is telling me im a idiot and will never last the 100 days.

Peanut
 
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#2
To explain whats going on in my head as I didnt ablve - well I failed and that why I wanted to eat and looking back now makes me feel even more stupid. I mean i've never revised or anything and just had a crack at the test so failing by 2/3 is not bad! It should be seen as good... and then study for it. But as soon as I failed - I was a 'faliure' so no doubt in my head its like well you failed at that.. so why not fail at everything. You are a faliure after all?!

I am sabbotaging myself!
 

Alibongo

Happily pro pointing!
S: 16st7lb C: 16st7lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 39.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#3
Hey peanut, don't beat yourself up.
It is totally recoverable.
Forget about it now, it is done, Today is another day and you are making up for it. I doubt it will show up.
If you have learnt from it then it is a major battle won.

and, you are right, the bars are lovely.
 
#4
YO Bird - Its a minisqule (spelling :S) slip up !! YOu didnt drink and you didnt binge on food you shouldnt - dont let it effect you and DONT do anything silly like Skip Meals:mad:

We can do it chic - Skinny beasts for my Welding Day!!
 
#5
Thank you both.

Thats what I think - move on - it was blip and it could have been so much worse. I was reaching for the pizza menu.

I cant belive either how obvious it was why I ate! mad huh.

Well I have my meeting tonight so I shall have 1 more soup and then one when I get in at 10. I have to learn today from this and as I only have 3 packs for today. Then I wont be rushing to do it again.
 

Ajax

Finally...Life begins
G: 10st0lb
#6
That is certainly not failing!! You chose well, keep strong and you will be fine, you have got past the worst part and it can only get better!
 
#7
haha tiffers yes we will be skinny beasts for your wedding!

Ajax - yes it will get better because my clothes feela bit lose. i have energy and i dont feel like a fat pig thats not doing anything! Because i am doing something!
 
S: 16st6lb C: 10st12lb G: 10st3lb BMI: 26.1 Loss: 5st8lb(33.91%)
#9
Dont beat yourself up Peanut!!!

I saw your title and was expecting a list... MEGA BINGE type!!!!

I know the reason for the extra bar is probably most annoying, but at least you made the right choice!!!

:)

Nas x
 
#10
Hey, Peanut! We're all here because we're learning. It really was only a tiny slip - no harm done, and you've learned about yourself. Now you're stronger.

One more thing - there's someone on here (Cerulean, maybe? Love her posts!) who talks a lot about 'all or nothing' thinking, and you gave a great example of that - if I failed my theory test I might as well go ahead and fail at everything else because I am a failure. Although you've only just started LL, you've already identified this as an issue you want to work on (I think a lot of us are with you on this) so that's another insight you've gained.

Good luck with the weigh in!
 
#11
Hi All,

Have been away studying for my theroy test and passed today! Yipee..
So the bar wasn't even worth it even less now!

I spoke in my meeting about what I said above and it was good to realise and then share that with the group. Didnt realise I would learn so quickly on LL. But do you know what else I learnt today... when I Passed the test and was walking down the road sun shining I thought oh i deserve a treat what shall i have --- the 'have' was food. Didnt even think about what else makeup, clothes or anything else. It was pictures of food in my head.

So to sum up..... one week one day in and I have already realised that I use food as a comfort when i fail and food as a treat when i pass or do well at something.

Hum so i wonder when i dont/didnt use 'food' to help me cope with every aspect of my life from happy to sad - er never by the looks of it..... It was the answer to all.

P x
 
#12
See I wish I had cheated the way you cheated. On Saturday night I had two bites of a burger with all the trimmings, I then immediately felt guilty and it felt like a big weight in my stomach for the next couple of days.
 
#13
Hi All,

Have been away studying for my theroy test and passed today! Yipee..
So the bar wasn't even worth it even less now!

I spoke in my meeting about what I said above and it was good to realise and then share that with the group. Didnt realise I would learn so quickly on LL. But do you know what else I learnt today... when I Passed the test and was walking down the road sun shining I thought oh i deserve a treat what shall i have --- the 'have' was food. Didnt even think about what else makeup, clothes or anything else. It was pictures of food in my head.

So to sum up..... one week one day in and I have already realised that I use food as a comfort when i fail and food as a treat when i pass or do well at something.

Hum so i wonder when i dont/didnt use 'food' to help me cope with every aspect of my life from happy to sad - er never by the looks of it..... It was the answer to all.

P x

Babe thats really insightfull - you've changed...:p:p:rotflmao:
 


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