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I feel ashamed and disgusted in myself, lost motorvation

#1
Been on SW for two weeks and lost 4lb. Before then I wasn't on a proper diet but had been doing more excercise and making healthier choices. Tonight I went for a few drinks with my brother in a local pub (I took syn value for all of them). I was feeling positive until a off duty barman made a comment about me being a "fat mess" as I was going to the toilet. I pointed out to him that I was only there to have a few drinks with my brother, not on the pull (I was dressed smart/casual as I do most days, I wasn't dressing tarty or anything) and who did he think he was commenting on others appearances anyway? Although I'm glad I had my say, I feel really disgusted in myself and feel very tempted to give up now. Anyone got any tips to stay on track after situations like this?
 
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#2
What an arsehole. Don't take notice of what he says, who the hell is he to comment on what other people look like? You should report him to the manager, he may have been off duty but he shouldn't be talking to anyone like that.

Well done for giving him a piece of your mind. Try to remember, you're losing weight for you. Don't let some nasty little sod put you off making this positive change for yourself. You've done fantastically well, stick to plan and you'll see even more good results :)

*hugs*
 
#3
Sund like he really has a problem and a attitude. T way you have to think about it is it was him bein and idiot! If you were there eating doughnuts in a miniskirt I still wouldn't see ow anyone could be so cruel!

I was in a pub last year wth 2 female friends of mine this lad behind behind me said " wow look at the state of that huge blobby *****! Don't go near hr or she may eat you" I was furious by then and starting having a go at him, only to find out it was my friends new boyfriend! Jesus! I tore him off a strip! (most hilarious bit was when he tried to make a move on me later on I usheed him away and then he fell down the stairs in the pub drunk and broke his nose! haha)

Atleast your doing something about your weight! you shouldbe proud that you want to change your life! screw him! he's a nobody who works in a pub!
 

eye6769

Vegetarian who lives2eat
#4
Cheeky bloke. do you really care what he thinks?, you can never change other people you can only change yourself, for yourself. You have made the decision to lose somw weight and you are succeeding so far, so dont let some dickhead make you give up, dont use this as an excuse to give in and eat, you are better than that x x
 
#5
Thanks for replies. I did make a complaint to the landlord, who did try to convience me that the barman was making a joke about someone else (although a few minutes later he took the barman to the side and saying "thats the second time you've done that now"). The barman in question is overweight himself too.
 
#6
Forget him. If you heard him say it about anyone else you'd just think he was a muppet (to put it politely) and you wouldn't give two hoots for his opinion. So don't listen to his opinion on you either!

Just hold your head high and rise above it. He's got his own issues, and he obviously isn't dealing with them very well. Whereas you are making a positive change in your life, and you've already lost 4lb. You rock! Turn comments like his to your advantage. Channel that anger into a more constructive energy :)
 
#7
Oh honey, what a horrible thing to happen! He's the one who should be ashamed of himself, not you! Well done for speaking to the landlord about it - it sounds like the barman in question might be a bit insecure about his own weight and has developed a nasty habit of pulling others down to make himself feel better...

You've done amazingly well so far, its easier said than done but try to ignore his stupid comment and don't let it affect the hard work you've already put in :) xxx
 
#8
I always like the old reply back "I may be fat, but I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly"
Ignore what that one person says and don't let it destroy your efforts but spur you on so that no-one will ever be able to say it to you again. Let it make you more determined as in "I'll show you!". Then the day you reach your goal you could go in there again and he won't recognise you and may chat you up and you could say "No your far too ugly!" lol.
All in all don't give up...... show the b**g**s what you can do! Good luck and keep smiling. xxx
 
#10
Sund like he really has a problem and a attitude. T way you have to think about it is it was him bein and idiot! If you were there eating doughnuts in a miniskirt I still wouldn't see ow anyone could be so cruel!

I was in a pub last year wth 2 female friends of mine this lad behind behind me said " wow look at the state of that huge blobby *****! Don't go near hr or she may eat you" I was furious by then and starting having a go at him, only to find out it was my friends new boyfriend! Jesus! I tore him off a strip! (most hilarious bit was when he tried to make a move on me later on I usheed him away and then he fell down the stairs in the pub drunk and broke his nose! haha)

Atleast your doing something about your weight! you shouldbe proud that you want to change your life! screw him! he's a nobody who works in a pub!
And therein lies the real truth that while many men may not want to be seen out with a 'fat bird' or publically express that they fancy them, plenty of them secretly prefer some curves in the bedroom. ;)

As for the OP's barman - what a twonk. Probably expressing his own insecurities - he is to be pitied.
 
#12
What a vile man! I have never understood some people's need to put other people down like that.

You are doing something about your weight, you are making changes and already losing and very soon will be able to see and feel those lbs dropping off. Don't let a horrible, insecure idiot ruin your plans and future success.

Turn the feeling around into determination to stick with this plan and revel in your success as he wallows in his pit.

You can do it! :) x
 
#13
Well, as lisaluyelastic said, in a few months, you'll be slim and he'll still be a rude arse

You can do this - don't let him be responsible for you falling off the wagon, you're worth much MUCH more than that
 
#14
What a vile rude man. I would have just strutted over and looked him up and down and said something like - 'talking about yourself again?'

Men like that are bullies and end up lonely and unhappy. I feel sorry you had to be spoken to like that - i thought comments like that went out years ago!!! shame there are still some neanderthal men left on the earth.

x
 
#17
Thanks for replies. Even though I've never had bad experiences in that pub before I'm very relucant to be going back, even if I do end up losing a lot of weight, I wouldn't feel comfortable going somewhere where the staff make nasty comments about the customers.
 
#19
I have no words to express my opinion of that man.. well, that's a lie- I do but they're nearly all swear words!

If you don't feel comfortable going back in there- then don't but I would go in with my head held high every week.

And it does sound like he is attacking other people as a way to distract from his own issues.

What a **** (insert swear of your choice)

Do NOT give up! :D Onwards and downwards!
 


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