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If you want a chuckle.......... read what i did!!!!

DaveP

Full Member
S: 24st7lb C: 19st4lb G: 15st0lb BMI: 37.7 Loss: 5st3lb(21.28%)
#1
In the depths of my hunger I reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of turkey to satisfy my hunger craving.

It tasted poor. It was wet and didn't taste nice, but due to the hunger I stuffed it down. The belly stopped rumbling and everythign was ok. Had a minging burp come up but it was all gravy. I walked back in the lounge to talk to my girlfriend:

Me: That turkey tastes ****
GF: What turkey?
Me: The turkey in the fridge
GF: There is no turkey in the fridge
ME: Yeh there is the one in the red pack
Gf: You mean the raw turkey that i have to cook for breakfast.
Me: Yeh that would be why it didnt taste nice.


Yep, in desperation I chugged down a raw turkey slice.
 
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DQ

Queen of the Damned
#2
Absolutely PMSL!!! :rotflmao: Oh dear, I hope it doesn't make you ill but that did make me laugh!! :giggle:
 

Vicx

Reduction!!!!
S: 15st2lb C: 13st0lb BMI: 28.5 Loss: 2st2lb(14.15%)
#3
LMFHO!!! I hope it won't make you poorly but it was a great comedy moment!!! LOL
 
#4
I have a simliar story

When I was younger i used to always plague my Nan for Orange Juice, drink half of it, then leave it - my Nam was quiet old fashioned and hated wasted so one day when i asked her she said -

"Yes but you can put the stuff you dont want in the bloody fridge and drink it tomorrow you wasteful cat" (my nan was welsh and a forse to be reconed with

So as order i put my half dran OJ in the fridge - when i came roung the second day pestering her for my OJ she informed me there was some still in the fridge - I picked up the first mug and took a swig - it was warm and not nice at all

"Nannan!! I dont like this......"

"Your just being naughty cause its from yesterday - now bloody drink it" And gave me a "Nan style clip round the ear!!

I obediently drank the rest then proceeded to vomit the lot over her rug - to whick i got a second clip round the ear

Shorty after Nannan came back in looking somewhat appologetic.... Id picked up the wrong cup and Nanna had just forsed me to drink..........................




Warm Lard:eek::eek::eek:
 
#7
In the depths of my hunger I reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of turkey to satisfy my hunger craving.

It tasted poor. It was wet and didn't taste nice, but due to the hunger I stuffed it down. The belly stopped rumbling and everythign was ok. Had a minging burp come up but it was all gravy. I walked back in the lounge to talk to my girlfriend:

Me: That turkey tastes ****
GF: What turkey?
Me: The turkey in the fridge
GF: There is no turkey in the fridge
ME: Yeh there is the one in the red pack
Gf: You mean the raw turkey that i have to cook for breakfast.
Me: Yeh that would be why it didnt taste nice.


Yep, in desperation I chugged down a raw turkey slice.
LOL!!!!! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "MMmmmmm Mattessons" (the RAW turkey rasher people!!)

xxx
 
#8
VERY FUNNY!!!

I have done something similar. After a very drunken night, I went home to my parents house, they were in bed so raided the fridge for something to eat.

they had a puppy at the time so I sat on the kitchedn floor, playing with the puppy munching my way through a plate of something!!

the next morning I went downstairs in a hungover state only to hear my dad asking my mum where the puppy's breakfast had gone..

Rabbit, cooked in a pressure cooker, 3 days before!!!!!!
 

slushy

Silver Member
S: 12st9lb C: 12st9lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#9
lol these are cracking me up!

i do remember my dad arriving at my house before i got home from work once
he had settled in and had a sandwich and cup of tea while he waited

when i walked in the first thing he said was how good that pate i had in the fridge was and could i get hime some

what pate?

that pate in a roll!

ahhh you mean the dog food!

: )
 
#10
Another one - similar but not the same - my mam was pestering me for my Lip Lock (something you paint over your lipstick to keep it on all night) So after i told her to go get it out of my bag - 10 minutes she came back looking like she had sucked a lemon - "bloody good stuff this" Stings a bit thou..... She'd only used my clear nail varnish
 

DaveP

Full Member
S: 24st7lb C: 19st4lb G: 15st0lb BMI: 37.7 Loss: 5st3lb(21.28%)
#13
Im glad somebody found it funny. I cant repeat the obsecnities my gf threw my way. It wasnt agressive but more along the lines of "How ****ing stupid are you?"
 
#14
hahahahhaha that is hilarious Dave.

All the stories are in fact!

I hope you ok xxx
 

Mrs V

Loves Life!
S: 21st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 9st2lb(42.52%)
#17
Ha ha these are priceless!!!!

My neighbour's daughter had a habit of coming in from work and tasting everything that her Mum had made.
One afternoon, there was a fork on the table with some "beef chunks in gravy" on it....she ate it and looked around the kitchen to find out where the rest of it was......yup..cat food!!!
 
#20
Very Funny indeed! Humour is such a stress buster, if only we could take the time to laugh a little more. Great idea for a thread!
 


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