If you want a chuckle.......... read what i did!!!!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by DaveP, 22 November 2007 Social URL.

  1. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

    Posts:
    380
    Likes Received:
    17
    Start Weight:
    24st7lb
    Current Weight:
    19st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st3lb(21.28%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    In the depths of my hunger I reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of turkey to satisfy my hunger craving.

    It tasted poor. It was wet and didn't taste nice, but due to the hunger I stuffed it down. The belly stopped rumbling and everythign was ok. Had a minging burp come up but it was all gravy. I walked back in the lounge to talk to my girlfriend:

    Me: That turkey tastes ****
    GF: What turkey?
    Me: The turkey in the fridge
    GF: There is no turkey in the fridge
    ME: Yeh there is the one in the red pack
    Gf: You mean the raw turkey that i have to cook for breakfast.
    Me: Yeh that would be why it didnt taste nice.


    Yep, in desperation I chugged down a raw turkey slice.
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    Posts:
    23,285
    Likes Received:
    588
    Absolutely PMSL!!! :rotflmao: Oh dear, I hope it doesn't make you ill but that did make me laugh!! :giggle:
     
  4. Vicx

    Vicx Reduction!!!!

    Posts:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    60
    Start Weight:
    15st2lb
    Current Weight:
    13st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st2lb(14.15%)
    Diet:
    CD
    LMFHO!!! I hope it won't make you poorly but it was a great comedy moment!!! LOL
     
  5. TIFFERS

    TIFFERS Full Member

    Posts:
    259
    Likes Received:
    2
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    I have a simliar story

    When I was younger i used to always plague my Nan for Orange Juice, drink half of it, then leave it - my Nam was quiet old fashioned and hated wasted so one day when i asked her she said -

    "Yes but you can put the stuff you dont want in the bloody fridge and drink it tomorrow you wasteful cat" (my nan was welsh and a forse to be reconed with

    So as order i put my half dran OJ in the fridge - when i came roung the second day pestering her for my OJ she informed me there was some still in the fridge - I picked up the first mug and took a swig - it was warm and not nice at all

    "Nannan!! I dont like this......"

    "Your just being naughty cause its from yesterday - now bloody drink it" And gave me a "Nan style clip round the ear!!

    I obediently drank the rest then proceeded to vomit the lot over her rug - to whick i got a second clip round the ear

    Shorty after Nannan came back in looking somewhat appologetic.... Id picked up the wrong cup and Nanna had just forsed me to drink..........................




    Warm Lard:eek::eek::eek:
     
  6. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,529
    Likes Received:
    139
  7. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    Posts:
    23,285
    Likes Received:
    588
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rotflmao:
     
  8. cah-ching

    cah-ching Gold Member

    Posts:
    11,948
    Likes Received:
    494
    LOL!!!!! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "MMmmmmm Mattessons" (the RAW turkey rasher people!!)

    xxx
     
  9. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

    Posts:
    517
    Likes Received:
    29
    Diet:
    LL
    VERY FUNNY!!!

    I have done something similar. After a very drunken night, I went home to my parents house, they were in bed so raided the fridge for something to eat.

    they had a puppy at the time so I sat on the kitchedn floor, playing with the puppy munching my way through a plate of something!!

    the next morning I went downstairs in a hungover state only to hear my dad asking my mum where the puppy's breakfast had gone..

    Rabbit, cooked in a pressure cooker, 3 days before!!!!!!
     
  10. slushy

    slushy Silver Member

    Posts:
    755
    Likes Received:
    33
    Start Weight:
    12st12lb
    Current Weight:
    12st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st8lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    lol these are cracking me up!

    i do remember my dad arriving at my house before i got home from work once
    he had settled in and had a sandwich and cup of tea while he waited

    when i walked in the first thing he said was how good that pate i had in the fridge was and could i get hime some

    what pate?

    that pate in a roll!

    ahhh you mean the dog food!

    : )
     
  11. TIFFERS

    TIFFERS Full Member

    Posts:
    259
    Likes Received:
    2
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    Another one - similar but not the same - my mam was pestering me for my Lip Lock (something you paint over your lipstick to keep it on all night) So after i told her to go get it out of my bag - 10 minutes she came back looking like she had sucked a lemon - "bloody good stuff this" Stings a bit thou..... She'd only used my clear nail varnish
     
  12. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

    Posts:
    380
    Likes Received:
    17
    Start Weight:
    24st7lb
    Current Weight:
    19st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st3lb(21.28%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life


    It was actually a mattesons! Shame I didnt know they did raw turkey.
     
  13. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

    Posts:
    1,143
    Likes Received:
    41
    Start Weight:
    16st7lb
    Current Weight:
    16st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    :rotflmao:
    OMG, you lot are cracking me up.
     
  14. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

    Posts:
    380
    Likes Received:
    17
    Start Weight:
    24st7lb
    Current Weight:
    19st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st3lb(21.28%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    Im glad somebody found it funny. I cant repeat the obsecnities my gf threw my way. It wasnt agressive but more along the lines of "How ****ing stupid are you?"
     
  15. peanut

    peanut Full Member

    Posts:
    186
    Likes Received:
    3
    Diet:
    lighterlife
    hahahahhaha that is hilarious Dave.

    All the stories are in fact!

    I hope you ok xxx
     
  16. chunkychicken

    chunkychicken Full Member

    Posts:
    365
    Likes Received:
    58
    Oh my goodness - wiping tears of laughter out of my eyes...
    that made me laugh so much.
    I do hope there are no nasty side effects from the raw food though....eeeek!
    Thanks for sharing Dave
    xx
     
  17. DaveP

    DaveP Full Member

    Posts:
    380
    Likes Received:
    17
    Start Weight:
    24st7lb
    Current Weight:
    19st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st3lb(21.28%)
    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    Yeh sorry folks I forgot to mentiont hat this was monday and I wasnt ill. So its all good now.
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

    Posts:
    7,607
    Likes Received:
    281
    Start Weight:
    21st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    9st2lb(42.52%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Ha ha these are priceless!!!!

    My neighbour's daughter had a habit of coming in from work and tasting everything that her Mum had made.
    One afternoon, there was a fork on the table with some "beef chunks in gravy" on it....she ate it and looked around the kitchen to find out where the rest of it was......yup..cat food!!!
     
  20. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

    Posts:
    445
    Likes Received:
    28
    perhaps someone is trying to convince you to stay abstinent Dave :D:sign0007:
     
  21. Russian Doll

    Russian Doll Member

    Posts:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Diet:
    Lipotrim
    Dave and eveyone I have been laughing out loud for ages they are classic.
     
  22. cocojo123

    cocojo123 Full Member

    Posts:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very Funny indeed! Humour is such a stress buster, if only we could take the time to laugh a little more. Great idea for a thread!
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...