If you want a chuckle.......... read what i did!!!!

DaveP

Full Member
In the depths of my hunger I reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of turkey to satisfy my hunger craving.

It tasted poor. It was wet and didn't taste nice, but due to the hunger I stuffed it down. The belly stopped rumbling and everythign was ok. Had a minging burp come up but it was all gravy. I walked back in the lounge to talk to my girlfriend:

Me: That turkey tastes ****
GF: What turkey?
Me: The turkey in the fridge
GF: There is no turkey in the fridge
ME: Yeh there is the one in the red pack
Gf: You mean the raw turkey that i have to cook for breakfast.
Me: Yeh that would be why it didnt taste nice.


Yep, in desperation I chugged down a raw turkey slice.
 
LMFHO!!! I hope it won't make you poorly but it was a great comedy moment!!! LOL
 
I have a simliar story

When I was younger i used to always plague my Nan for Orange Juice, drink half of it, then leave it - my Nam was quiet old fashioned and hated wasted so one day when i asked her she said -

"Yes but you can put the stuff you dont want in the bloody fridge and drink it tomorrow you wasteful cat" (my nan was welsh and a forse to be reconed with

So as order i put my half dran OJ in the fridge - when i came roung the second day pestering her for my OJ she informed me there was some still in the fridge - I picked up the first mug and took a swig - it was warm and not nice at all

"Nannan!! I dont like this......"

"Your just being naughty cause its from yesterday - now bloody drink it" And gave me a "Nan style clip round the ear!!

I obediently drank the rest then proceeded to vomit the lot over her rug - to whick i got a second clip round the ear

Shorty after Nannan came back in looking somewhat appologetic.... Id picked up the wrong cup and Nanna had just forsed me to drink..........................




Warm Lard:eek::eek::eek:
 
In the depths of my hunger I reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of turkey to satisfy my hunger craving.

It tasted poor. It was wet and didn't taste nice, but due to the hunger I stuffed it down. The belly stopped rumbling and everythign was ok. Had a minging burp come up but it was all gravy. I walked back in the lounge to talk to my girlfriend:

Me: That turkey tastes ****
GF: What turkey?
Me: The turkey in the fridge
GF: There is no turkey in the fridge
ME: Yeh there is the one in the red pack
Gf: You mean the raw turkey that i have to cook for breakfast.
Me: Yeh that would be why it didnt taste nice.


Yep, in desperation I chugged down a raw turkey slice.

LOL!!!!! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "MMmmmmm Mattessons" (the RAW turkey rasher people!!)

xxx
 
VERY FUNNY!!!

I have done something similar. After a very drunken night, I went home to my parents house, they were in bed so raided the fridge for something to eat.

they had a puppy at the time so I sat on the kitchedn floor, playing with the puppy munching my way through a plate of something!!

the next morning I went downstairs in a hungover state only to hear my dad asking my mum where the puppy's breakfast had gone..

Rabbit, cooked in a pressure cooker, 3 days before!!!!!!
 
lol these are cracking me up!

i do remember my dad arriving at my house before i got home from work once
he had settled in and had a sandwich and cup of tea while he waited

when i walked in the first thing he said was how good that pate i had in the fridge was and could i get hime some

what pate?

that pate in a roll!

ahhh you mean the dog food!

: )
 
Another one - similar but not the same - my mam was pestering me for my Lip Lock (something you paint over your lipstick to keep it on all night) So after i told her to go get it out of my bag - 10 minutes she came back looking like she had sucked a lemon - "bloody good stuff this" Stings a bit thou..... She'd only used my clear nail varnish
 
Im glad somebody found it funny. I cant repeat the obsecnities my gf threw my way. It wasnt agressive but more along the lines of "How ****ing stupid are you?"
 
hahahahhaha that is hilarious Dave.

All the stories are in fact!

I hope you ok xxx
 
Oh my goodness - wiping tears of laughter out of my eyes...
that made me laugh so much.
I do hope there are no nasty side effects from the raw food though....eeeek!
Thanks for sharing Dave
xx
 
Ha ha these are priceless!!!!

My neighbour's daughter had a habit of coming in from work and tasting everything that her Mum had made.
One afternoon, there was a fork on the table with some "beef chunks in gravy" on it....she ate it and looked around the kitchen to find out where the rest of it was......yup..cat food!!!
 
Very Funny indeed! Humour is such a stress buster, if only we could take the time to laugh a little more. Great idea for a thread!
 
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