I'll prove I can do it!!

Fairy hope you got through yesterday hon?


Christy how are you doing? Hope your. Olleagues have stopped brining in all those pastries?! It just sounds like hell!
 
I must have been still pissed when I wrote that last message ha ha. X
 
Hmmmmm well here is me skulking in with my head hung low.....just been to see my CDC and climbed on the scales and I am back up to 15st2

Had a chat with my CDC and I am now SS for the first time, I've decided me and food are not friends at the moment so I am just eating the space food.

So what had messed it up??? Well I've been dating again, he is lovely and it had been going well. I'm taking it slowly. He had bad news last week that his Dad's MS is aggressive and he is receiving palliative care for the final stage - docs are advising DNR which had broken J's heart. So the relationship is already under pressure and I've been comfort eating. I had a bit of a revelation 3 days ago and realised I can't do anything to change the situation, I'll just be there as light relief for him and keep my emotions totally out of it - he retreats to his man cave quite a lot as needs space and I am getting on with my life as normal.

Also faced up to some financial worries that have been playing on my mind so basically I am getting my **** back together.

Hope u r all well!!! xxxx
 
Hi Christy! That's not a huge gain really and you can have that gone pretty quickly.

Good to hear you are dating again but keeping emotions out of it as it must be a very tough time for him. Can't be that easy for you either!

Good to have you back! X
 
6lbs is nothing - that just means you've maintained (I can very easily gain 6lbs of glycogen and water when I topple face first into donuts (love that, GG ;)). It'll be off with maybe a couple more pounds too if you stick to SS this week. :clap:

Sorry to read about new date's rough time. For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you're playing things exactly right, though it must be tricky.
 
Hi Christy! That's not a huge gain really and you can have that gone pretty quickly.

Good to hear you are dating again but keeping emotions out of it as it must be a very tough time for him. Can't be that easy for you either!

Good to have you back! X

Thanks Kira, it's not easy as its bringing back a lot of painful memories of when we lost mum but there is no room for self pity - I just need to not think about me and be there when he needs me to be there. To be fair he's not asking much, he Is spending a lot of time with his parents and having time alone which is without doubt the right thing to do.

I was 100% yesterday! Here's to day 2 :) xxx
 
6lbs is nothing - that just means you've maintained (I can very easily gain 6lbs of glycogen and water when I topple face first into donuts (love that, GG ;)). It'll be off with maybe a couple more pounds too if you stick to SS this week. :clap:

Sorry to read about new date's rough time. For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you're playing things exactly right, though it must be tricky.

Thanks lily! I am very determined to shift the extra pounds ASAP and get myself back on target - I was relieved I wasn't heavier as I have been eating large portions. I am going to have to do some work with myself on learning portion control if I am going to keep the weight off after CD!

It's certainly a tricky one, he is quite detached at the moment but I know he is upset and worried about his Dad and wants to make sure his mum is supported x
 
Almost made it!!! Just been dumped so finding it hard not to hit the wine...I am not going to let my demons ruin this for me though! X
 
Oh! No! Christy! I feel for you but you are right not to turn to the wine. It won't make you feel any different not really. I know us wine drinkers think it does but in the cold light of day it doesn't. Try to get an early night if you can. It will be day 3 tomorrow. Don't undo your hard work. X
 
Early night didn't happen - spent 3 hours on the phone to J talking things through. He's admitted he finished it because he thought I would get frustrated with him not being able to commit loads of time as he's helping his mum care for his dad. I've told him to get a grip - that's my choice to make and as (1) I've been a live in carer whilst holding down a full time job and (2) I have lost a parent too, I know just how hard it is and have no big expectations.

We've decided to cool things down but not split up, I'll see him when he has the time and we'll see how it goes. He's a really lovely person and i think he's worth it.

U'll be glad to know I didn't drink - in fact I didn't even have my 4th product so at least I didn't cheat xxx
 
Scales say 4lbs off since Sunday x
 
Thanks Kira - i dont feel strong!

Day 3 nearly done and really not feeling hungry which seems strange as I am normally starving on day 3 and getting horrific headaches. Starting to get that ketosis feeling in my mouth too...xx
 
You are stronger than you know! Well done on getting through to day 3 which will soon be over! To achieve that on top of last night's night ishows your strength inside!
 
Yay day 3 completed!!! I know that this time I am back in the zone and cannot piddling wait to get into the 13s. The last 4 months have been such a struggle but I'm firmly of the view that it was those winter months. Funny how the sun is out and spring is in the air and I've slipped back into my routine no problem.

The thing I really need to tackle is how I respond to my emotions and turn to comfort eating and drink at the slightest sign of upset. I have come to a decision tonight that I need to get professional help as I know I have deep rooted self esteem issues and I need to learn how to deal with my demons. If I can crack that then I know I will maintain so much easier.

xxx
 
Morning day 4 has arrived! Have a great day and remember halfway to a full week!

I had similar issues of turning to food and drink when stressed for comfort. These can be controlled because I've been a lot better at telling my brain no. But counselling would help. X
 
Day 4 almost done and been 100%...definitely have my mojo back!

I'm missing spending time with J but know this is the right thing to do, we text daily but nowhere near as much as we were before but at least the contact is there and he knows I am there for him. So wish things were different though :( x
 
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