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is it wrong that i'm cross with my mate?

LizzMB

WILL be Slim!
S: 14st0lb C: 13st7lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st7lb(3.57%)
#1
i dont quite know where to start...my mate is getting married in sept, DH best mate, DD bridesmaid....she was doing CD and i saw how much she was losing so started on CD myself. She has since fallen off the wagon......

I have always been ultra supportive, peptalks when needed, hyper texts congratulating on losses, really excited about changes in clothes sizes etc....

for me....i get sweet f all!

If i lose 2lb or 7lb....i get the same text..."well done thats great"
I have bought 2 dresses to choose from for her wedding...al my other friends have been so excitable about me getting size 12's (Oasis and Karen Millen) but she just says they look "nice".....

She shows me pics of dresses she has bought and i coo over them.....but jack sh&t in return!

She is now a size 16 and looks lovely....very beautiful....she is happy with her figure now and come off CD...

I'm a size 10/12 and determined to get to my 10 st 5 goal.....

Both at different stages of our weight loss journey, but the support and friendship between us both just come across as being light years difference!

I always thought she would be so happy about me losing the weight....as i am with her....as she spurred me on...but all it smells of at the moment is jealousy and bitterness....and thats so sad comsidering we've been friends for 7 years!

Dont know what i'm supposed to say/do!?!?!?

HELP!
 
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LizS

Shut up Ethel
S: 14st13lb C: 12st9lb G: 10st13lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 2st4lb(15.31%)
#2
Say/do? Nowt. Nothing different, anyhow. You can't change how she behaves but you can choose how you react to her! She may well have a lot on her mind with the wedding, god knows how many women turn into total bridezillas and unless its specifically wedding-related (eg, about her) she's just not interested.

If you are really hurt by this then tell her that her lack of support for your progress is disappointing....she might be mortified, but equally you run the risk of alienating her and upsetting her at a stressy time in her life.....

just mho but four weeks before my own wedding I wasn't really entirely 'with the programme' - every waking thought was focused on the wedding. I kinda woke up after it was all over.
 

catb1979

2nd time's a charm!!
S: 14st4lb C: 13st7lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st11lb(5.5%)
#3
By the sounds of it, it's a typical bride not wanting anyone to steal her limelight. I've had a similar problem with a friend who started CD at the same time as me and has also quit as she says she can't stick to it. She seems very bitter towards me and always makes comments on how surprised she is that I've stuck to it as she thought I couldn't "stay off the booze".
Your friend sounds jealous of your success and probably isn't actually happy with where she's at and begrudges the fact you've stuck to it! It's amazing how much this diet affects those around us and how we are now perceived by them. You aren't their "fat mate" anymore and it can throw up a lot of insecurities in others. I have noticed that men at work who didn't usually give me the time of day now tell me how "well" I look and are now happy to converse. Luckily, i can see straight through them. (not tarring all guys with the same brush btw!!)
If you can, try and rise above it. I've smiled through gritted teeth as I know that if my friend and I end up having words, I'll be "rubbing my weight loss in her face", etc.
You've lost this weight for you - no one else, so be proud of the fact you have the determination to do it and succeed to your goal.

I used to work in hotels and remember all too well the "Bridezillas". The world has to revolve around them. Let her have her special day and you can strut around in your new dress feeling just as special x
 

sbridge7

Silver Member
#4
She could be stressed at the moment because her wedding is coming up. I also think that as it is her big day she may be worried about you stealing the limelight. Don't worry about it, just be proud of your own achievements; it is only the one person doesn't want to acknowledge how well you've done.
 

devilishandsweet

100% all the way!
S: 26st0lb C: 21st6lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 43 Loss: 4st8lb(17.58%)
#5
Yeah, me thinks classic signs of jealousy. Unfortunatley this if just a fact of life. People just don't like other poeple would can suceed more or do better than themselves!

But take it as a compliment....although weird, but does it not feel good that you've done so well to the extent that people do get jealous of you! xx
 
#6
I also think that she may be slightly embarressed by your losses - don't forget she started CD first as it were - you followed - she's fallen off the wagon & with every lb you lose she's reminded that she couldn't/wouldn't do it ..she's probably sending those 'WELL DONE' texts the whole time sighing & thinking 'That coulda been me'...:eek:

Dont be too hard on her - weddings do the strangest of things to people! :eek:


CONGRATUALTIONS on your losses - continue losing & feeling proud of yourself - you're losing the weight for you not for anyone else hun! ;)



debs xx
 


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