Jezebella's Journey Forward
- Thread starter Jezebella
- Start date
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Maintenance Day 7
Well yesterday's post posted today, last night was taken up with much tree decorating! And it looks beaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayooooooooootiful!! Now I really do feel Xmas is getting close. We put the carols on and sung like a choir of angels (lol make that cats!!) Well worth it though.
Food yesterday was quite simple because of the over indulgence of the night before, and I will admit to having a bit of a stomach ache at about 2am on Sunday morning... too much good stuff that I am so not used to! Breakfast middayish of some yoghurt with fresh peach, banana, sprinkle of raisins and pecan crumbles and a scattering of special K for a bit of crunch!
Lots of black coffee to keep me warm all day and a whole lot of doing nothing - I really needed a day of nothingness. Lunch was at about 5pm. I was starving when I woke up from my nap and had a lovely bowl with some chicken, roasted root veg, swede mash and gravy. The winter weather makes me crave warm and hearty foods. Dinner was a light and late evening affair. Tuna nicoise made with some tinned tuna, a few boiled new potatoes of which I ate only 1. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, 3 gorgeous black olives some hard boiled egg and a superb creme fraiche and dill dressing. Pud was a real treat, some muller rice with a bit of apple compote - wow wow wow!!! It tasted so Christmasy and good!. Weight still stable this morning and because of the being busy I have not logged my food on food focus for a few days. Something I wanted to try as I don't want the calorie counting to become an obsession, it is no real way to live.
So all in all a good day.. very festive and very happy!
Jez
xx
Well yesterday's post posted today, last night was taken up with much tree decorating! And it looks beaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayooooooooootiful!! Now I really do feel Xmas is getting close. We put the carols on and sung like a choir of angels (lol make that cats!!) Well worth it though.
Food yesterday was quite simple because of the over indulgence of the night before, and I will admit to having a bit of a stomach ache at about 2am on Sunday morning... too much good stuff that I am so not used to! Breakfast middayish of some yoghurt with fresh peach, banana, sprinkle of raisins and pecan crumbles and a scattering of special K for a bit of crunch!
Lots of black coffee to keep me warm all day and a whole lot of doing nothing - I really needed a day of nothingness. Lunch was at about 5pm. I was starving when I woke up from my nap and had a lovely bowl with some chicken, roasted root veg, swede mash and gravy. The winter weather makes me crave warm and hearty foods. Dinner was a light and late evening affair. Tuna nicoise made with some tinned tuna, a few boiled new potatoes of which I ate only 1. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, 3 gorgeous black olives some hard boiled egg and a superb creme fraiche and dill dressing. Pud was a real treat, some muller rice with a bit of apple compote - wow wow wow!!! It tasted so Christmasy and good!. Weight still stable this morning and because of the being busy I have not logged my food on food focus for a few days. Something I wanted to try as I don't want the calorie counting to become an obsession, it is no real way to live.
So all in all a good day.. very festive and very happy!
Jez
xx
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
good going jez 
doing fabulous hun on maintenance
doing fabulous hun on maintenance
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Maintenance Day 8
So today's entry..... My goodness, how damn cold is it out there, and I am feeling it worse than ever - it is literally the only downside I can think of to being thin!!! I had a meeting in Glyndebourne today for the wedding on Saturday so a bit of a travel. I had a porridge with banana, raisin, pecan sprinkle of berries and yoghurt on my way out the door, wasn't sure how forthcoming food would be and it was a good thing I did eat breakkie. Met my boss in Victoria and we had a skinny lattes... my real morning treat. Off to Lewes then a lift to Glyndebourne. The meeting went on for hours and hours.. I suppose wedding meetings do...and this is a very VIP wedding!!! A famous opera singer and one of the Glyndebourne family. I had 1 teaspoon of the banoffi pie at the tasting, and sat there playing headgames with myself for the rest of the meeting. I was freezing, and hungry and it was sat infront of me. I had had one taste and knew it was good. It would have been oh so easy to just eat it and be done with it. I nearly wavered, but YAY me!!! I did not give in... Tempting it was so tempting but the force was strong in this one! By 4pm I was still starving and no offer of food or coffee. The next meeting started and I managed to grab a cuppa java - thank god it was something warm as I could not feel a thing in my hands or feet by that point and it is not like I didn't have many, many layers on! The only offer of food forthcoming was crisps or biscuits, both of which I declined. Eventually when this meeting seemed to be going on for hours I rootled about in my bag and found a very mangy toffee bar all squashed and an apple. Devoured the apple and decided to save the bar for the train back to London. Evenutally made it in to the house by 7:30pm and thought I could have eaten my own arm off!! Had a quick banana to stave off the hunger pangs until we could get dinner sorted. Thank god for pre prep and organisation. Salmon quickly popped in the oven with mustard, dill and lemon, some of the pre done root veg and swede mash, and some pan spinach! Very satisfying. Think compote is absoulutely on the agenda for pud tonight and I think I might make a bit of proper pukka crumble for sometime over the weekend to have with a bit of BGTY custard.
Weight is still stable, so obviously I am not overdoing things even with Saturday nights little party. I will start logging the food agian as of tomorrow but feel quite impressed that I seem to be able at this stage to manage on my own.
Tomorrow we have the concert - yaaaaaay sooo looking forward to seeing Depeche Mode. I really want to wear the spangly mini skirt but if I have to go on public transport there is no way as it is far too cold!
Tomorrow nights entry will be a late one or will be posted on Wednesday evening. Sorry about the delays in posts, I always feel a bit guilty about it, but after the rush is over, things will return to normal.
Re the before pics, I will post them over the weekend, sadly every time I look at them I hate myself and want to cry for all the wasted years, but it will be a good comparison and I need to learn to accept the me that I was, to start to understand the me that I am becoming!
With Christmassy wishes for you all
Jez
xx
So today's entry..... My goodness, how damn cold is it out there, and I am feeling it worse than ever - it is literally the only downside I can think of to being thin!!! I had a meeting in Glyndebourne today for the wedding on Saturday so a bit of a travel. I had a porridge with banana, raisin, pecan sprinkle of berries and yoghurt on my way out the door, wasn't sure how forthcoming food would be and it was a good thing I did eat breakkie. Met my boss in Victoria and we had a skinny lattes... my real morning treat. Off to Lewes then a lift to Glyndebourne. The meeting went on for hours and hours.. I suppose wedding meetings do...and this is a very VIP wedding!!! A famous opera singer and one of the Glyndebourne family. I had 1 teaspoon of the banoffi pie at the tasting, and sat there playing headgames with myself for the rest of the meeting. I was freezing, and hungry and it was sat infront of me. I had had one taste and knew it was good. It would have been oh so easy to just eat it and be done with it. I nearly wavered, but YAY me!!! I did not give in... Tempting it was so tempting but the force was strong in this one! By 4pm I was still starving and no offer of food or coffee. The next meeting started and I managed to grab a cuppa java - thank god it was something warm as I could not feel a thing in my hands or feet by that point and it is not like I didn't have many, many layers on! The only offer of food forthcoming was crisps or biscuits, both of which I declined. Eventually when this meeting seemed to be going on for hours I rootled about in my bag and found a very mangy toffee bar all squashed and an apple. Devoured the apple and decided to save the bar for the train back to London. Evenutally made it in to the house by 7:30pm and thought I could have eaten my own arm off!! Had a quick banana to stave off the hunger pangs until we could get dinner sorted. Thank god for pre prep and organisation. Salmon quickly popped in the oven with mustard, dill and lemon, some of the pre done root veg and swede mash, and some pan spinach! Very satisfying. Think compote is absoulutely on the agenda for pud tonight and I think I might make a bit of proper pukka crumble for sometime over the weekend to have with a bit of BGTY custard.
Weight is still stable, so obviously I am not overdoing things even with Saturday nights little party. I will start logging the food agian as of tomorrow but feel quite impressed that I seem to be able at this stage to manage on my own.
Tomorrow we have the concert - yaaaaaay sooo looking forward to seeing Depeche Mode. I really want to wear the spangly mini skirt but if I have to go on public transport there is no way as it is far too cold!
Tomorrow nights entry will be a late one or will be posted on Wednesday evening. Sorry about the delays in posts, I always feel a bit guilty about it, but after the rush is over, things will return to normal.
Re the before pics, I will post them over the weekend, sadly every time I look at them I hate myself and want to cry for all the wasted years, but it will be a good comparison and I need to learn to accept the me that I was, to start to understand the me that I am becoming!
With Christmassy wishes for you all
Jez
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Fantastic Jez
You are doing so well and making some excellent food choices.
Well done on resisting diving into the banoffee.
Glyndebourne/Lewes - not very far from us. Lewes is a lovely interesting little town with some excellent foody places and pubs - picturesque, historical.
Well worth a visit if you don't know it.
Have a fabuloous time at Depeche Mode.
You could still wear the spangly skirt, but with leggings, boots etc. Anything goes and layers are still in. xx
You are doing so well and making some excellent food choices.
Well done on resisting diving into the banoffee.
Glyndebourne/Lewes - not very far from us. Lewes is a lovely interesting little town with some excellent foody places and pubs - picturesque, historical.
Well worth a visit if you don't know it.
Have a fabuloous time at Depeche Mode.
You could still wear the spangly skirt, but with leggings, boots etc. Anything goes and layers are still in. xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Good call SB, you are always fantastic for fashion advice !!!! Lewes was lovely, wish I could have seen more of it than the station and the quick drive up to Glyndebourne... I felt quite proud of resisting... Just proves to me I can do it, and there is no need to loose control. I find it is also helping to have healthy things in the fridge, thus I am never tempted to snack on the bad stuff! A bite of root veg or a piece of fruit etc is not going to hurt, a bite on biscuits will!!! I am thrilled not to be putting on weight and to have worked out my little head panic of last week, when I felt so fat all by myself. Some stuff from LLC is obviously sinking in and today I feel very confident about a slim me in a year's time.
Jez
xx
Jez
xx
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
jez your such a inspiring individual must say
and christmassy wishes are with you and sis bliss
have a wonderful xmas hun
and keep posting some wonderful recipes
and christmassy wishes are with you and sis bliss
have a wonderful xmas hun
and keep posting some wonderful recipes
Morticia
Happy in my own skin
Just doing a quick catch up Jez. Wow pics look fab....you look amazing, no wonder you felt it.
Reminds me I must go sort out some pics, and do a little journal entry about my first Christmas night out in years where I felt amazing. It's been quite an emotional time all this looking and feeling glam again...I need to go lie down...lol.
Reminds me I must go sort out some pics, and do a little journal entry about my first Christmas night out in years where I felt amazing. It's been quite an emotional time all this looking and feeling glam again...I need to go lie down...lol.
slendablenda
Gold Member
Good for you Mort - can't wait to see the pictures. xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Maintenance Day 10
Well a very late night last night, hence no posting from me, but for once it was not work related <G> I had the most fabulous night out at The O2 watching Depeche Mode. A bit of background. I had the tickets, just regular ones but my friend has access to a VIP box and called me yesterday morning to say he had 4 tickets for that. So I tried my best to hawk the other 2 - no joy..... Still they were paid for ages ago so the money is long gone. Back to the day in hand though.... then more concert talk later...
Freezing cold yesterday at work, we took some extra heaters in just to try and keep warm!! Breakfast of porridge with compote and raisin at about 10 - about the warmest I felt all day!!! Lunch was at about 2 a grilled chicken breast with some salad. Eventually managed to get away from work just after 4 and raced home to change. I had a complete wardrobe malfunction.... nothing looked right, what I really wanted to wear I felt was too skimpy for the weather... lol I was cursing the damn cold!!! After about 10 changes of outfit I went back to the first outfit and damn the skimpy!!!!
James picked us up at 6:30ish and off we drove to The O2 - luckily his posh car has heated seats so we soon warmed up!! Got a great parking really close to the entrance and in we went. Obviously was totally seduced by the merchandise so we queued for T shirts and I was soooo proud to ask for a small !! (tried it on today and it fits fantastically) I also ordered the concert CD. DM always does this great thing with LiveNation whereby you can buy a cd of the gig. I love it and everytime I listen to my previous DM cd from Hyde Park I get totally overexcited thinking that one of those screaming voices is mine!!!!! A very wonderful personal momento of a gig. We trotted into the VIP bar (all these lovely private entrances and vip treatment I could so get used to this) I immediately spotted Tom the Exec Chef who is a mate of mine. He was more than complimentary about how great I was looking as were the other chefs who I hadn't seen for a while. He kindly offered us drinks and then gave us a tab and told us to order what we liked food and drink wise for the evening as it was on him!!! Lol like I said I really could get used to this. Up to the box after a bit of mingling. We ordered a bottle of champagne which we shared during the concert and a further glass of wine. It was amazing!!! The concert was phenomenal, I danced, I sang I knew I looked great and it showed!! For the first time in my life I am starting to think my outside reflects who I really am on the inside too!!! I was overwhelmed by it all. These 2 little outings this week have really given me a massive confidence boost. Some of the other guys in the box were actually looking at me in a pretty appreciative way too!! I felt more confident, more flirty and more female than I have in years. Sadly all good things must come to an end so as a last gasp we had a latte from the bar on the way out.. and eventually gave into some form of temptation and had a german bratwurst on the way out with mustard (binned the bread roll). So 2 observations. I am ok with wine if I am out socialising, it is just not something that I do at home upon an evening anymore, also 2 glasses is more than enough to get me feeling a bit plonkered!!! When plonkered one tends to feel hungry and makes less than good food choices. I don't feel too bad as I had not eaten much that day I had a thin slice of sourdough with tomato, onion, ham and a sprinkle of cheese before going out apart from the breakfast and lunch. As my sister said, we were now awake and active for about 18 hours at that point so food was needed. Headed home and had some compote with a bit of yoghurt. Scales are still fine today, up about 200g which in the greater scheme of things is not too bad.
Was tired this morning as it was the usual 4 hours kip. Scraping the frost off the car was a right pain too!!! Work was busy and I found myself very frustrated that I could never finish a task as the phone kept ringing, people arrived, others needed questions answering etc... Just cannot wait for the break. We did cooked breakfast this morning. Bliss did a fat free version for us so grilled lean bacon, a dry fried egg, flat mushroom, grilled tomato, grilled banana, tablespoon of baked beans and a slice of toast. Fantastic stuff!!! Again nice to feel ok enough to eat with the rest of the team. Lunch was very late - after 3. The boys made Lasagne. I scraped the mince out of the pasta and just had one sheet of it and loads of salad. It is interesting that I am so aware of the choices I am making and trying to make allowances where possible by saying things like ok I can have some but I need to restrict something else - lasagne no pasta kind of thing.
Dinner was yum, some sirloin with savoy cabbage, bit of roast roots, some french lentil ragout, cauli puree and jus. I really was in the mood for loads of veg. I find I start to crave them. Am still freezing even though I have had a bath, will pop into bed soon to warm up. Skinny hot chocolate is on the cards for later.
I still haven't logged my food but so far so good. I really want to make an attempt to log agian to see where I am, but I just need to get over the next few days.... Time to rest is fast approaching!
Tomorrow won't get posted till Friday probably as I am doing an event for 200 odd down at the Science Museum. We have made the cutest little Xmas desert canapes, will try and take some pics. Speaking of the 500 Xmas pud cupcakes with brandy buttercream for our clients are done, so will take pix of those too. There are also pics up on here of the concert last night.
Have a great Thursday, keep warm and enjoy the snow!! Wow we had a fair bit in London and more due!!!
Jez
xx
Well a very late night last night, hence no posting from me, but for once it was not work related <G> I had the most fabulous night out at The O2 watching Depeche Mode. A bit of background. I had the tickets, just regular ones but my friend has access to a VIP box and called me yesterday morning to say he had 4 tickets for that. So I tried my best to hawk the other 2 - no joy..... Still they were paid for ages ago so the money is long gone. Back to the day in hand though.... then more concert talk later...
Freezing cold yesterday at work, we took some extra heaters in just to try and keep warm!! Breakfast of porridge with compote and raisin at about 10 - about the warmest I felt all day!!! Lunch was at about 2 a grilled chicken breast with some salad. Eventually managed to get away from work just after 4 and raced home to change. I had a complete wardrobe malfunction.... nothing looked right, what I really wanted to wear I felt was too skimpy for the weather... lol I was cursing the damn cold!!! After about 10 changes of outfit I went back to the first outfit and damn the skimpy!!!!
James picked us up at 6:30ish and off we drove to The O2 - luckily his posh car has heated seats so we soon warmed up!! Got a great parking really close to the entrance and in we went. Obviously was totally seduced by the merchandise so we queued for T shirts and I was soooo proud to ask for a small !! (tried it on today and it fits fantastically) I also ordered the concert CD. DM always does this great thing with LiveNation whereby you can buy a cd of the gig. I love it and everytime I listen to my previous DM cd from Hyde Park I get totally overexcited thinking that one of those screaming voices is mine!!!!! A very wonderful personal momento of a gig. We trotted into the VIP bar (all these lovely private entrances and vip treatment I could so get used to this) I immediately spotted Tom the Exec Chef who is a mate of mine. He was more than complimentary about how great I was looking as were the other chefs who I hadn't seen for a while. He kindly offered us drinks and then gave us a tab and told us to order what we liked food and drink wise for the evening as it was on him!!! Lol like I said I really could get used to this. Up to the box after a bit of mingling. We ordered a bottle of champagne which we shared during the concert and a further glass of wine. It was amazing!!! The concert was phenomenal, I danced, I sang I knew I looked great and it showed!! For the first time in my life I am starting to think my outside reflects who I really am on the inside too!!! I was overwhelmed by it all. These 2 little outings this week have really given me a massive confidence boost. Some of the other guys in the box were actually looking at me in a pretty appreciative way too!! I felt more confident, more flirty and more female than I have in years. Sadly all good things must come to an end so as a last gasp we had a latte from the bar on the way out.. and eventually gave into some form of temptation and had a german bratwurst on the way out with mustard (binned the bread roll). So 2 observations. I am ok with wine if I am out socialising, it is just not something that I do at home upon an evening anymore, also 2 glasses is more than enough to get me feeling a bit plonkered!!! When plonkered one tends to feel hungry and makes less than good food choices. I don't feel too bad as I had not eaten much that day I had a thin slice of sourdough with tomato, onion, ham and a sprinkle of cheese before going out apart from the breakfast and lunch. As my sister said, we were now awake and active for about 18 hours at that point so food was needed. Headed home and had some compote with a bit of yoghurt. Scales are still fine today, up about 200g which in the greater scheme of things is not too bad.
Was tired this morning as it was the usual 4 hours kip. Scraping the frost off the car was a right pain too!!! Work was busy and I found myself very frustrated that I could never finish a task as the phone kept ringing, people arrived, others needed questions answering etc... Just cannot wait for the break. We did cooked breakfast this morning. Bliss did a fat free version for us so grilled lean bacon, a dry fried egg, flat mushroom, grilled tomato, grilled banana, tablespoon of baked beans and a slice of toast. Fantastic stuff!!! Again nice to feel ok enough to eat with the rest of the team. Lunch was very late - after 3. The boys made Lasagne. I scraped the mince out of the pasta and just had one sheet of it and loads of salad. It is interesting that I am so aware of the choices I am making and trying to make allowances where possible by saying things like ok I can have some but I need to restrict something else - lasagne no pasta kind of thing.
Dinner was yum, some sirloin with savoy cabbage, bit of roast roots, some french lentil ragout, cauli puree and jus. I really was in the mood for loads of veg. I find I start to crave them. Am still freezing even though I have had a bath, will pop into bed soon to warm up. Skinny hot chocolate is on the cards for later.
I still haven't logged my food but so far so good. I really want to make an attempt to log agian to see where I am, but I just need to get over the next few days.... Time to rest is fast approaching!
Tomorrow won't get posted till Friday probably as I am doing an event for 200 odd down at the Science Museum. We have made the cutest little Xmas desert canapes, will try and take some pics. Speaking of the 500 Xmas pud cupcakes with brandy buttercream for our clients are done, so will take pix of those too. There are also pics up on here of the concert last night.
Have a great Thursday, keep warm and enjoy the snow!! Wow we had a fair bit in London and more due!!!
Jez
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Powerful post Jez.
Great that you enjoyed the gig - but so much more in there.
Changes to your life, confidence, clothes, food choices, femininity, reaction from other people.
If you and Bliss weren't so sassy you probably wouldn't have been plied with alcohol, food, upgrades, lifts, appreciative looks etc.
This LL journey has given us back our lives.
Well done girls xxx
Great that you enjoyed the gig - but so much more in there.
Changes to your life, confidence, clothes, food choices, femininity, reaction from other people.
If you and Bliss weren't so sassy you probably wouldn't have been plied with alcohol, food, upgrades, lifts, appreciative looks etc.
This LL journey has given us back our lives.
Well done girls xxx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
What a fantastic night that sounds like JEz!!! So glad you hard working ladies got to kick up your heels a bit for a change - you deserve it!!!
Great post!!!
xx
Great post!!!
xx
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
well done jez
the concert shots look good
and well done on keeping strong with food and all
i think we are used to this healthy lifestyle now
the concert shots look good
and well done on keeping strong with food and all
i think we are used to this healthy lifestyle now
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Maintenance Day 11
Wow, got home in time to do a post!!! Thank you so much everyone for your very kind and insightful comments. It gives me hope that I am getting it somewhat right at least some of the time. I still have huge moments of feeling out of control with it all and feeling like I am over eating. And every time I have something that is not a pack/salad or something very light I am pushing the limits somewhat. Realistically, I am probably doing ok, but it does not stop the out of control feelings. Each time I take a new step, like having wine or something I get a little bit scared that it will all go back to the way it was. I guess I still need to build up more evidence that I can control this. It is probably also not helping that I have not logged my calories so have no real idea and that I am just eating as I think I need to.
I am not making especially bad choices, but I do not think they are always perfect. The cold is also not helping much, because I really want warming hearty food. Breakfast today was porridge with banana, raisin, a sprinkle of almonds and honey with a spoon of vanilla yoghurt. Was a bit pissy because the phone rang 5 times whilst I was trying to eat and I had to sign in one delivery. So a very disturbed breakfast and quite cold by the time I got to finish it. Lunch was at about 2 and it wasn't a bad meal, some lamb rump, broccoli and roast root veg with gravy. Felt very full after that, but I had, had about 10 cups of coffee by that point of the day in an attempt to try and keep warm! I also had a cup of tea with milk later in the afternoon and I did have a nibble on one of Bliss's angel shortbreads - about half a biscuit. I also had an apple mid afternoon, because they were the prettiest apples I have ever seen!! Exactly like the one in Snow White!! It was totally sweet and juicy too!! We have made loads of gorgeous Xmas bits, more cherries in marzipan and chocolate. Bitter chocolate dipped candied lemon peel, marzipan, pistachio and orange candies. Loads of iced xmas shortbreads and ginger breads. Mini Yule logs, mini rum and raisin truffles iced to look like xmas puds. Lol not all of these are for us, in fact they are for work, and some to bring home to put out for visitors and other family. Oooh forgot the mince pies!!!! We are certainly feeling festive. It snowed and hailed today, and was absolutely bitter cold. We headed off to Science Museum for the job at about 5pm, parked up and went into the warmth!!! The function, although big was pretty easy and we were all served by 9pm. Decided to eat there as the food was ok for us and saved on cooking when we got home. So dinner was Lemon Thyme grilled chicken, with some ratatouille, a bit of cous cous, some of the tagine sauce and cabbage. I think because I had 2 hot meals of meat and veg, I feel like I have over eaten. I think another thing that scares me, is that I realistically eat more now than I did in my fat days, even though it is better, healthier choices. I used to often only have 1 meal a day pre LL. Now I eat 3 times a day and have snacks.
Off to have a hot bath now to warm up and then have a yoghurt and something else warm to drink.
Hope you have all had a fantastic day and enjoyed the snow. Part of me wishes I could get snowed in tomorrow, but no matter what I have to make it in to work, there is too much to do. I also have a few gifts to deliver to clients, so might try to leave a bit early to do that, because the roads will be a nightmare if the snow is especially heavy.
Bliss is off to an Xmas do with our friend James. I was invited but declined as I quite fancy an early night in. On hearing how fab it was I should probably have gone. Night in a hotel with free spa etc. But she deserves a treat and I am thrilled she will go out and have a good time.
Nighty nite good people. More tomorrow!
Jez
xx
Wow, got home in time to do a post!!! Thank you so much everyone for your very kind and insightful comments. It gives me hope that I am getting it somewhat right at least some of the time. I still have huge moments of feeling out of control with it all and feeling like I am over eating. And every time I have something that is not a pack/salad or something very light I am pushing the limits somewhat. Realistically, I am probably doing ok, but it does not stop the out of control feelings. Each time I take a new step, like having wine or something I get a little bit scared that it will all go back to the way it was. I guess I still need to build up more evidence that I can control this. It is probably also not helping that I have not logged my calories so have no real idea and that I am just eating as I think I need to.
I am not making especially bad choices, but I do not think they are always perfect. The cold is also not helping much, because I really want warming hearty food. Breakfast today was porridge with banana, raisin, a sprinkle of almonds and honey with a spoon of vanilla yoghurt. Was a bit pissy because the phone rang 5 times whilst I was trying to eat and I had to sign in one delivery. So a very disturbed breakfast and quite cold by the time I got to finish it. Lunch was at about 2 and it wasn't a bad meal, some lamb rump, broccoli and roast root veg with gravy. Felt very full after that, but I had, had about 10 cups of coffee by that point of the day in an attempt to try and keep warm! I also had a cup of tea with milk later in the afternoon and I did have a nibble on one of Bliss's angel shortbreads - about half a biscuit. I also had an apple mid afternoon, because they were the prettiest apples I have ever seen!! Exactly like the one in Snow White!! It was totally sweet and juicy too!! We have made loads of gorgeous Xmas bits, more cherries in marzipan and chocolate. Bitter chocolate dipped candied lemon peel, marzipan, pistachio and orange candies. Loads of iced xmas shortbreads and ginger breads. Mini Yule logs, mini rum and raisin truffles iced to look like xmas puds. Lol not all of these are for us, in fact they are for work, and some to bring home to put out for visitors and other family. Oooh forgot the mince pies!!!! We are certainly feeling festive. It snowed and hailed today, and was absolutely bitter cold. We headed off to Science Museum for the job at about 5pm, parked up and went into the warmth!!! The function, although big was pretty easy and we were all served by 9pm. Decided to eat there as the food was ok for us and saved on cooking when we got home. So dinner was Lemon Thyme grilled chicken, with some ratatouille, a bit of cous cous, some of the tagine sauce and cabbage. I think because I had 2 hot meals of meat and veg, I feel like I have over eaten. I think another thing that scares me, is that I realistically eat more now than I did in my fat days, even though it is better, healthier choices. I used to often only have 1 meal a day pre LL. Now I eat 3 times a day and have snacks.
Off to have a hot bath now to warm up and then have a yoghurt and something else warm to drink.
Hope you have all had a fantastic day and enjoyed the snow. Part of me wishes I could get snowed in tomorrow, but no matter what I have to make it in to work, there is too much to do. I also have a few gifts to deliver to clients, so might try to leave a bit early to do that, because the roads will be a nightmare if the snow is especially heavy.
Bliss is off to an Xmas do with our friend James. I was invited but declined as I quite fancy an early night in. On hearing how fab it was I should probably have gone. Night in a hotel with free spa etc. But she deserves a treat and I am thrilled she will go out and have a good time.
Nighty nite good people. More tomorrow!
Jez
xx
Foxtrot
Is back in the saddle!
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Maintenance Day 14
Well, it is done!!! Finally the last event out the way and final clean down at work tomorrow and it is over for me for the year!!! I am absolutely shattered!
I got home Friday and actually fell asleep on the couch 3 times!!! Food wise friday was fine, Porridge for breakfast with banana, pecan and raisin and teaspoon honey. I actually ate really early for me, at about 8:30, but I was hungry. Lunch at about 2pm of Green salad with some tomato and cucumber and chicken breast with a bbq gravy, really spicy and good. The cold weather and being in that freezing kitchen of mine I am sure is helping with calorie burn, as it is taking everything I have to just keep warm!!! We had fabulous snow on Thursday evening which is still on the ground so it is feeling really Christmassy. I have always dreamed of a white Christmas, so hope it sticks for a bit longer. Growing up in the sunshine makes a White Christmas seem like a fantasy come true! I got home and got stuck into the cleaning and sorting then ended up having a little nap on the couch. Bliss was off at the Xmas party so I only had to worry about dinner for me. Some salmon fillet with philly light filling. Ratatouille, some left over cabbage and lentils. It seemed a massive portion but it was 90% veg. Had another nap after dinner then woke myself up with the alarm clock to watch Heston's Christmas Feast. I am in total awe of him and the whole meal was spectacular. True food porn in every sense of the word. The third nap then I fancied a bit of pud, so had some baked apple and berry compote with yoghurt, raisin and almond. I took out a jelly too, but was too full to eat more than half of it. Woke up at about 1am on the couch and dragged my sorry self to bed.
Yesterday, being Saturday was a good and not so good day. I woke up late, and Bliss got home safely. We had porridgey goodness with banana for breakfast at about midday, quick baths and then headed out in the bitter cold for the wedding. I have seriously never been so cold. We were in a marquee on the side of the Thames, there was loads of ice on the ground and some snow, the floor of the marquee was concrete, you cannot believe the cold!! To sum up I was wearing 2 pairs thermal socks, winter stockings, thermal leggings, cords and my chefs pants over that. On top I had thermal shirt, long sleved tshirt, wooly jumper, chefs jacket and a fleece, also gloves and a hat!! I still had to put my feet into the hot cupboard to thaw them out. I took some soup along to have for our lunch which we got at about 4pm, but had to share with some other freezing people. I didn't really manage to get anything else to eat, but had 1 cheese straw with the soup, a piece of bacon, a taste of fillet, a taste of the home made bread, and about 1 tbs of the banoffi!!! Not very good at all
We drank loads of coffee to try and keep warm, and had to walk miles to a loo with no light, water on the floor, no toilet seats or toilet paper!!! Quite a shocker!! Got home just after midnight and had a bowl of vanilla yoghurt with a banana and raisins. Crawled into bed and just died until this morning.
Breakfast again at about midday of porridge, with banana, raisin, almond and honey today with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Then headed out in the cold to brave the shops. Not my best shopping day as I could not find all the things I wanted. Tuesday will be better!!! Got home and had some pea and ham covent garden soup with some sliced baguette and a little butter. I was very proud of being able to just have a little bread and then stop. Mentally I wanted loads, but I ate it slowly and I knew that in my head I wasn't hungry for it it was just wanting for the sake of wanting. Wrapped the rest up and put it away!!!!!! Another nap followed!! God it seems all I have done is sleep, but I desperately need to catch up on some sleep before the Xmas festivities start. I feel a bit overwhelmed as there is still so much to do!
Dinner has just been consumed and it was fab, some left over fillet from last night, ratatouille, fine beans and some butternut puree. I certainly do not miss having potato or rice or other carbs with every single meal. Milk wise today, mostly black coffee but 2 cups of tea with milk, so might have a hot choc later. Pud wise not sure maybe another round of apple compote, but actually I could skip the hot choc entirely and have a low fat chocolate mousse from the fridge! That will be another first for me to try. So I think I am doing ok, was about 800g up on my scale for the last 2 days so making an effort to try and eat better. I am really nervous now what with the festivities almost upon us.
Any hints, tips and suggestions would be welcome.
Have a wonderful Monday!!!
Jez
xx
Well, it is done!!! Finally the last event out the way and final clean down at work tomorrow and it is over for me for the year!!! I am absolutely shattered!
I got home Friday and actually fell asleep on the couch 3 times!!! Food wise friday was fine, Porridge for breakfast with banana, pecan and raisin and teaspoon honey. I actually ate really early for me, at about 8:30, but I was hungry. Lunch at about 2pm of Green salad with some tomato and cucumber and chicken breast with a bbq gravy, really spicy and good. The cold weather and being in that freezing kitchen of mine I am sure is helping with calorie burn, as it is taking everything I have to just keep warm!!! We had fabulous snow on Thursday evening which is still on the ground so it is feeling really Christmassy. I have always dreamed of a white Christmas, so hope it sticks for a bit longer. Growing up in the sunshine makes a White Christmas seem like a fantasy come true! I got home and got stuck into the cleaning and sorting then ended up having a little nap on the couch. Bliss was off at the Xmas party so I only had to worry about dinner for me. Some salmon fillet with philly light filling. Ratatouille, some left over cabbage and lentils. It seemed a massive portion but it was 90% veg. Had another nap after dinner then woke myself up with the alarm clock to watch Heston's Christmas Feast. I am in total awe of him and the whole meal was spectacular. True food porn in every sense of the word. The third nap then I fancied a bit of pud, so had some baked apple and berry compote with yoghurt, raisin and almond. I took out a jelly too, but was too full to eat more than half of it. Woke up at about 1am on the couch and dragged my sorry self to bed.
Yesterday, being Saturday was a good and not so good day. I woke up late, and Bliss got home safely. We had porridgey goodness with banana for breakfast at about midday, quick baths and then headed out in the bitter cold for the wedding. I have seriously never been so cold. We were in a marquee on the side of the Thames, there was loads of ice on the ground and some snow, the floor of the marquee was concrete, you cannot believe the cold!! To sum up I was wearing 2 pairs thermal socks, winter stockings, thermal leggings, cords and my chefs pants over that. On top I had thermal shirt, long sleved tshirt, wooly jumper, chefs jacket and a fleece, also gloves and a hat!! I still had to put my feet into the hot cupboard to thaw them out. I took some soup along to have for our lunch which we got at about 4pm, but had to share with some other freezing people. I didn't really manage to get anything else to eat, but had 1 cheese straw with the soup, a piece of bacon, a taste of fillet, a taste of the home made bread, and about 1 tbs of the banoffi!!! Not very good at all
We drank loads of coffee to try and keep warm, and had to walk miles to a loo with no light, water on the floor, no toilet seats or toilet paper!!! Quite a shocker!! Got home just after midnight and had a bowl of vanilla yoghurt with a banana and raisins. Crawled into bed and just died until this morning.
Breakfast again at about midday of porridge, with banana, raisin, almond and honey today with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Then headed out in the cold to brave the shops. Not my best shopping day as I could not find all the things I wanted. Tuesday will be better!!! Got home and had some pea and ham covent garden soup with some sliced baguette and a little butter. I was very proud of being able to just have a little bread and then stop. Mentally I wanted loads, but I ate it slowly and I knew that in my head I wasn't hungry for it it was just wanting for the sake of wanting. Wrapped the rest up and put it away!!!!!! Another nap followed!! God it seems all I have done is sleep, but I desperately need to catch up on some sleep before the Xmas festivities start. I feel a bit overwhelmed as there is still so much to do!
Dinner has just been consumed and it was fab, some left over fillet from last night, ratatouille, fine beans and some butternut puree. I certainly do not miss having potato or rice or other carbs with every single meal. Milk wise today, mostly black coffee but 2 cups of tea with milk, so might have a hot choc later. Pud wise not sure maybe another round of apple compote, but actually I could skip the hot choc entirely and have a low fat chocolate mousse from the fridge! That will be another first for me to try. So I think I am doing ok, was about 800g up on my scale for the last 2 days so making an effort to try and eat better. I am really nervous now what with the festivities almost upon us.
Any hints, tips and suggestions would be welcome.
Have a wonderful Monday!!!
Jez
xx
Last edited:
daisydoll
Gold Member
blimey Jez
your freezing cold day sounds a nightmare!
you are doing so well food wise, i can't give any advice as i'm useless at the moment - even bought myself a bottle of baileys yesterday which no doubt will be finished by tomorrow???
hope you get the rest of your shopping done
daisy x
your freezing cold day sounds a nightmare!
you are doing so well food wise, i can't give any advice as i'm useless at the moment - even bought myself a bottle of baileys yesterday which no doubt will be finished by tomorrow???
hope you get the rest of your shopping done
daisy x
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
Daisy can't beat a bottle of baileys sublime it is
i bought a few for xmas day
but jez your doing fine no need to worry your food intake seems fine to me
i bought a few for xmas day
but jez your doing fine
no need to worry your food intake seems fine to me
