JO'S PREGNANCY JOURNEY!

Thanks guys for your advice, I really appreciate it

I'll keep you updated.....venting on here along with your support really helps
 
AnnieAnnie said:
How are you today? Hope lots of hubby & doggy cuddles are on the cards today :)
Click to expand...

Hey Annie, I havnt cried since last night. I think my reaction to it all is numbing myself to it which isnt great as it just means at some point i'll crack

I just dont understand why I cant get pregnant and have everything go ok

I guess everyones reactions are different. Last time I just cried a lot and stayed at home...this time it seems my automatic reaction is to bottle it all up/not think about it. It seems really surreal, like it isnt really happening again and i'll wake up soon
 
Sometimes you do what you have to just to get through the day. My sister died in May in a tragic & unexpected accident. She was young. I find I've bottled it up & it seeps out bit by bit. But it's not ideal & has made me quite hard. However, we can't choose how we handle it &, like you, I'm expecting some sort of monstrous breakdown probably prompted by the smallest thing. However, it's a survival thing, you do what you can to make it through the day & if you don't cry or deal with it there or then so be it. Don't force it, keep talking to your hubby & I'm sure you'll deal with it in your own way.

I'm sure the anger & unfairness if it all makes it worse, it does for me. But take heart from Mrs S & others who've been through it & come out the other side with children :)
 
Thanks Annie. Im really sorry to hear about your sister.

I thinks its as you say above..my body has kicked into survival mode and im bottling everything up. I know it'll hit me soon though

Despite everything, I still have hope. I wont stop until Im a mum
 
Hi hun I have just read this and I wanted to say how sorry I am that you got bad news I was really hoping that this was your time make sure you take things easy and cry scream vent as much as you need to and when you feel ready then hopefully you can try again. My sister has had 3 miscarriages and she is certain that she can't carry boys and my partners mum couldn't carry girls so maybe it might be that. Take care of yourself big hugs [[[[HUGS]]]] xx
 
Thanks Kellie. Its just annoying that if there is a reason thats making me miscarry..they wont do any tests until ive miscarried one more time. Horrible

Ive got another scan this Friday afternoon so we'll see what happens then i guess. I honestly dont hold out much hope
 
Well my appointment is tomorrow afternoon and Im already lightly bleeding and getting very very mild cramps. Im guessing its all going to happen naturally. I am dreading the pain. :(
 
Sorry hun :( I had started bleeding with one of mine and they still did the op, it was already booked though. Just make sure they give you loads of pain killers and don't let them fob you off you want to be as comfortable as you can xxx
 
Hi everyone

It was a long afternoon at the hospital. They confirmed no change and no heartbeat still. Im starting to bleed heavily now and just waiting for the inevitable. I filled out forms and the surgicentre will contact me in 10-14 days but I think its going to happen naturally before then

I fought with the consultant about painkillers with her just saying that paracetamol etc should do the trick and me saying it did nothing last time. Managed to get some Codeine Phosphate out of them and Im hoping that it will be strong enough.

At the moment Im just sitting around waiting for the pain and for it all to start. Just trying to keep myself comfortable and not moving around too much

Its a horrible end to the year.

I have so much going through my head. The consultant said they definitely wont do any tests until 3 miscarriages. Hubby is keen to try again as soon as we can, however..im very nervous. I guess I am lucky that I seem to be able to fall pregnant with relevant ease...the problem with me seems to be staying pregnant.

Im worried about the same happening again next time. I wonder why so many women have perfect pregnancies with no problems and yet there are women who struggle to fall pregnant and/or lose their babies time and time again. It seems so unfair and it breaks my heart.

I also feel like the NHS could do so much more to care for women who lose babies. I had my scan yesterday where it was confirmed and then me and hubby were just left for about an hour on chairs in the corridor with other women all of us having just been told the same thing. All of us sitting there listening to a girl in one of the beds crying out in pain as she is going through her miscarriage. There was no private area..and I felt like I couldnt cry and let out any of the pain. After about 45 minutes i said out loud 'THIS IS A JOKE' to which a nurse came and said I am second on the list to see the consultant. I mean...I feel it may have been that slightly bit easier for me and I was prepared for what I had just heard. However, what about women/girls who had just heard for the first time that their baby has died *sigh*

Anyways - Im done. At least I suppose thats got some stuff off my chest. Thank you girls for your ongoing support/concern, it really does help. I do wonder whether I should start a different thread somewhere else on the forum now as I cant really stay in the pregnancy part. Shame there isnt a miscarriage support part where women who have all gone through or are going through this can discuss. I dont really fit into the pregnancy without the pounds or TTC parts at the moment
 
That sounds awful Hun. I hope it happens sooner rather than later for you. I know what you mean it's an awful end to the year and also a horrible time of year for it to happen. Sounds like the hospital are less than sensitive too. If you stop posting on here I will miss you but understand why. Have you tried the community forums on the babycentre website? They seem quite supportive.

I hope your pain eases soon and I wish you all the luck in the world for future pregnancies. I'm thinking of you and your other half.

Xxxxxxx
 
So sorry hun :( remember you can take ibroprofen and paracetamol with your codeine so keep yourself topped up and warm bath might help too with the cramps and hot water bottles xx

Hope it happens quickly and you arnt waiting around as I know that's worst part, and hope it isn't too bad for you, thinking of you xxx
 
Thanks guys. I believe that within the last hour its happened but still getting cramps so just sitting in my living room about to watch a DVD so I dont disturb hubby. Trying not to say too much because TMI :)

I think I will continue to post on this thread for a while and then move back to TTC (even if I wait a month or two).

X
 
You'll always be welcome in here don't stop posting and who knows you might not even end moving back eh xx

I hope it's the worst is over now Hun and you can start to look forward, sounds blunt I know but I know for me once it was over you can kind of close the door and look forward abit in a way you can't while your still carrying the baby. It gives an ending and a new start, xxx
 
Post wherever you want Jo, don't worry, we are just glad to be able to support you. Yes I agree re TMI & men. My bf looks confused by even normal af stuff at the best of times! Glad it's happened now as at least it's one step over with. Hope it wasn't too painful & you got some sleep x
 
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