Katalena's RTM thoughts & thingies!

[kenshin112]

Yeah I know the thing is we finally understand where we went wrong and we fix it, whereas before ll we didn't bother on fixing the problems,

 

[katalena]

Week 3, Day 15 continued...

Well I enjoyed my usual breakfast today

I had a measured amount of raspberries & blackberries today - yum!

I enjoyed a small salad at lunctime with my usual bits & pieces and 3 cherry tomatoes mmm spoilt! Had s/f jelly.

Vanilla/coffee shake - I have decided to start reducing the amount of water I have in it if I have it in the evening to approx 750 but in the day I shall still have it with 1000mls.

I had a skinny latte with my Mum this afternoon which was lovely. I also had plenty of soda/st clements today. Have felt my fluid intake really drop off since I started RTM so just checking in on myself with that.

Had a black coffee with my Dad & older sister this afternoon which was nice!

This evening I went to my older sister's house as my younger sister graduates tomorrow My Mum & Dad were both there which is a rarity as they usual have their partners with them so it was nice to have them to ourselves! They all had chinese/indian take away. I had a prawn salad followed by s/f jelly and 0% greek yoghurt! I have to say mine looked much nicer than there's once dished up!

Well I felt much more in control today which was great!

Kat xx

 

[katalena]

Week 3, Day 17

Well another day done and heading towards week 4 - amazing really!

I am enjoying the introduction of fruit but as some of you will have seen I am questioning what you can and can't have.

It is amazing how we question so much now about portion sizes and correct amounts as well as doubting ourselves about so much yet what got us to LL in the first place was our total lack of ability to doubt and question anything and just open our mouths and shovel it right in! Which is why I am not going to stress myself out about it!

I mean for goodness sake, I am questioning having fat free yoghurt, quark, an apple or some raspberries not cheese, crisps or chocolate etc....

I am pleased to some extent that I am this wary and I know from reading other peope's posts it will start to settle down as I adjust.

I spent alot of time today reading through Jez's posts - she has posted such an incredible daily blog I think it should be sticky'd for other people in the future as I have learnt so much from her! (if you don't mind Jez - which I am sure you don't)

Well we are sat watching Children in Need

Just waiting for Rik to make me a skinny latte.

Kat xx

 

[Jezebella]

How great is Children in Need, it always makes me so emotional Sticky away btw, off to eat, will catch up with ya later my sweets

Jez
xx

 

[katalena]

I have no idea how to sticky hun! I have learnt a few things about Minimins tonight! lol

Kat xx

How great is Children in Need, it always makes me so emotional Sticky away btw, off to eat, will catch up with ya later my sweets

Jez
xx

 

[Jezebella]

lol I have no clue either ;P Dinner was fab, but feeling oh so full now :/

Jez
xx

 

[katalena]

I enjoyed my dinner - I had the creamy haddock wrapped in iceburg lettuce leaves with some chopped spring onion, red pepper & cucumber on top.

I am sure it was a LL recipe but can't find it anywhere, fortunately I copied it down!

I question my fruit/yoghurt/jelly intake again today!

I have enjoyed 2 or 3 coffees with skimmed milk which is rare for me!

Kat xx

 

[Morticia]

Kat, I think you've done so well so far not to have freaked out more. You've been so level headed about it all, but if you look back at others bloggs you will see that most people have a freak out, funnily enough around week 2-4. I know I certainly did. So glad you've talked it though with your LLC and are back to your usual self. Head flips get us all but with a bit of support they soon pass.

 

[thin_inside]

I enjoyed my dinner - I had the creamy haddock wrapped in iceburg lettuce leaves with some chopped spring onion, red pepper & cucumber on top.

I am sure it was a LL recipe but can't find it anywhere, fortunately I copied it down!

I question my fruit/yoghurt/jelly intake again today!

I have enjoyed 2 or 3 coffees with skimmed milk which is rare for me!

Kat xx

Kat - I think it's in the week 1-4 recipe book. Does sound lovely.

You are doing fine hon. I think questions are great at this stage. It's also important to remember that there is no right and wrong answers - even for you as your needs will vary daily, weekly and monthly.

xx

 

[katalena]

Week 3, Day 18

Alot of thoughts/questions spinning around in my head today! I have posted about them elsewhere throughout the day, the reason for this is that there are others who are experiencing those same thoughts and feelings which is somewhat a reassurance that it isn't "just you" but it is strange how you dart back and forth between the ego states and convince yourself of different things. I guess it takes time for you to "settle" and I have time, there is no rushing yourself in this situation.

I had my usual day when it comes to food and drinks. Fruit I am enjoying raspberries, kiwi and apples. Yoghurt is still a daily enjoyment for me!

For dinner tonight I had 120g (raw weight) of chicken with shop bought Moroccan style Sundried Tomato & Cinnamon sauce. It was 48cals for a third of the jar and fat was 1.1g per 100g. I have it with 30g (dried weight) of Quinoa and some brocoli & cauliflower which my LLC said I could flash in my steamer to make it warm. It was the first "cooked" meal I have had in 6 months and it was delightful!

I have always enjoyed quinoa and it is such a fabulous alternative to rice, pasta or couscous!

I have just realised that I have not had my 2nd foodpack for 3 days! How I have done this I am not sure. I have just forgotten which I find bizarre as they have ruled my life for 6 months! I will endeavour to rectify this tomorrow and ensure I have them both everyday!

Kat xx

 

[Gemma79]

It's so good to read these threads, makes me all excited about when I'm there, which I know will be here really quickly! You are doing so well Kat, thanks for posting daily so we can learn.
Gemma

 

[katalena]

Week 3, Day 19

<head has woken up freaking out today>

My realisation that I have not had my 2nd foodpack for the last 3 days also has me realising that I have had the calories as I have eaten them - not in anything I shouldn't have!

I got myself so fixated on a calorie allowance and felt satisfied by that that I totally missed 2nd foodpacks for 3 days, 3 days! FFS! These food packs have been my sole source for 6 months how do you just "forget" them! Then I question that those calories will mean too much off something!

I am now concerned this will have "generated" more glycogen which will mean another gain on Wednesday. I am in such a pickle today!

I "still" have concerns about yoghurt/quark/fromage frais/fruit - it amazes me!

I am calm, just questionning so much!

I have sat and thought for a few minutes about whether or not I am enjoying RTM. Not a question I can answer. I just don't feel like I am getting it right even though I am not getting it wrong if that makes sense!

That all sounds like such a big fat jumbled mess but isn't it great that we can come here and write it all down in the hope it will make some sense or someone will make some sense of it all.

I am going to relax today

Kat

 

[kenshin112]

yeah kat i was always finding it hard to get a pack in, i dont know what it was, but sometimes it can be difficult, but your doing wonderfully well how is l4d2 is it good online? and hows the chainsaw

 

[katalena]

Thanks Ken.

We are loving L4D2 - haven't played it online yet. We like the off-line co-op so tend to hammer that. As for the chainsaw! fab! lol

Kat xx

yeah kat i was always finding it hard to get a pack in, i dont know what it was, but sometimes it can be difficult, but your doing wonderfully well how is l4d2 is it good online? and hows the chainsaw

 

[kenshin112]

lol im going to get the game soon, just been busy playing assassins creed 2 its quite good thus far and i love the free running but l4d2 ill pick up later this week

 

[thin_inside]

I got myself so fixated on a calorie allowance and felt satisfied by that that I totally missed 2nd foodpacks for 3 days, 3 days! FFS! These food packs have been my sole source for 6 months how do you just "forget" them! Then I question that those calories will mean too much off something!

I am now concerned this will have "generated" more glycogen which will mean another gain on Wednesday. I am in such a pickle today!

I "still" have concerns about yoghurt/quark/fromage frais/fruit - it amazes me!

I am calm, just questionning so much!

I have sat and thought for a few minutes about whether or not I am enjoying RTM. Not a question I can answer. I just don't feel like I am getting it right even though I am not getting it wrong if that makes sense!

That all sounds like such a big fat jumbled mess but isn't it great that we can come here and write it all down in the hope it will make some sense or someone will make some sense of it all.

I am going to relax today

Kat

OMG Kat - I would love to forget about packs. I spend every minute of every day thinking about packs and trying to make myself wait a while longer before the next one. I hope that by week 3 I too will be forgetting about them .

So long as you are taking in the calories and sticking with the allowed foods I'm sure everything is fine. I don't think it's 'wrong' to skip a pack in RTM.

And the glycogen - it has to restock itself at some point so why not in weeks 2 and 3 instead of weeks 4 and 5, or 5 and 6? We're all going to put glycogen weight back on and I'm sure we all carry different amounts and restock at different rates. It's the long term we're focusing on right?

xx

 

[katalena]

I love it when you respond to my posts. You really know how to make me put it all in perspective which makes me feel more positive.

I agree about the food packs. I also agree about the food choices. I just know that at a stage where I should be having around 800 cals a day I am sometimes having 900-950.

I guess it is true what you say about the glycogen and it does have to come back at some point.

I am so focused on this long term. You are right. It is for life not just for Christmas

Thank you TI.

Hope you got on well today and made time for you. Look forward to reading your blog.

Kat xx

OMG Kat - I would love to forget about packs. I spend every minute of every day thinking about packs and trying to make myself wait a while longer before the next one. I hope that by week 3 I too will be forgetting about them .

So long as you are taking in the calories and sticking with the allowed foods I'm sure everything is fine. I don't think it's 'wrong' to skip a pack in RTM.

And the glycogen - it has to restock itself at some point so why not in weeks 2 and 3 instead of weeks 4 and 5, or 5 and 6? We're all going to put glycogen weight back on and I'm sure we all carry different amounts and restock at different rates. It's the long term we're focusing on right?

xx

 

[Jezebella]

Kat Chicken Licken

TI has put it very well, we all re stock the glycogen at diff times and in diff ways. What my LLC keeps saying is this abstinence was about being 100%, RTM is just about being good enough. So you are doing enough to get it right... It is confusing and hard to know if you are doing the right thing, but you just have to trust yourself and take each day as it comes. You are doing great hunni, trust yourself a bit more.The fact that you have 900 cal on the odd day doesnt mean that you will automatically eat more as the weeks go on, you seem to find a level of enough food I seem to stick now on about 1300 which feels comfortable, I know I have a little leeway to increase but on that amount of food I feel I have enough to sustain me and keep me full with meals and snacks. You will get there hun.

Jez
xx

 

[katalena]

Thank you hun, I know I sound like a deranged moron at times as I freak out in my lil blogger world!

It is funny that through abstinence I was completely calm and collected the entire time and now in only 3 weeks of RTM I am head wobbling like a blancmange! lol Fortunately it is only occasionally, although daily so that isn't too occasional! lol

I hope I will settle down a bit for the time being after group this week. I am moving to the management group so going back to a Wednesday instead of a Tuesday, so an extra day to wait this week!

Kat xx

Kat Chicken Licken

TI has put it very well, we all re stock the glycogen at diff times and in diff ways. What my LLC keeps saying is this abstinence was about being 100%, RTM is just about being good enough. So you are doing enough to get it right... It is confusing and hard to know if you are doing the right thing, but you just have to trust yourself and take each day as it comes. You are doing great hunni, trust yourself a bit more.The fact that you have 900 cal on the odd day doesnt mean that you will automatically eat more as the weeks go on, you seem to find a level of enough food I seem to stick now on about 1300 which feels comfortable, I know I have a little leeway to increase but on that amount of food I feel I have enough to sustain me and keep me full with meals and snacks. You will get there hun.

Jez
xx

 

[katalena]

Week 3, Day 19 continued...

I did not relax in my head and have a calm day today but I have read alot of posts on here and certain people have really helped me put things in perspective and I am feeling somewhat calmer as I sit here now.

I looked at myself in the mirror today and felt sad, I felt like I didn't look any different. I had a couple of tears but soon got my act together. How could I be stood there in size 12 clothes saying that to myself when previously I would have been stood there in a size 20/22 saying I don't look that big! It is as others have said on here:

"I used to think I was a slimmer person in size 20/22 person's body, but now I see myself as a fat person, but I am in a size 12 person's body"

This is such an incredible journey!

I have a busy day with work tomorrow as it is my round, London trip so that should keep me occupied! I am going to take my breakfast with me to have on the train and I will take my shake and some s/f jelly & an apple to have throughout the day. I am planning to have some quorn chicken style pieces in the left over Moroccan Sundried Tomato & Cinnamon sauce in savoy cabbage wraps topped with a "lil" fromage frais!

Onwards and positive as they say!

Kat xx