OK... Day 6. Scales have not moved again, no loss for the 2nd day running, but it doesn't dent my resolve - if 8lbs remains my loss on Thursday morning, I am still more than pleased with that. I know that things are going well, can feel it. The birdcage mouth and death-breath (OH gave me a look last night, must get more chewing gum!). The lack of real hunger, the fact that I am wide awake at 5am and planning my day (like that bit... the alertness, energy). The empty feeling... I like that too, weirdly. My lovely dad once said to me that if you want to lose weight (he would try now & then to be slimmer/fitter) you have to get to like 'that empty feeing'. I never really understood that till CD.
So... feeling good, but trying to keep it real. Had a look in long mirror last night, and though tummy may be slightly smaller, I have a long way to go. The weight seems to pack on around my hips, thighs, bum, but also rolls of fat on my body. I ordered a lovely size 14 dress in the sales, up until Dec a 14 fit me fine, in fact up until Oct some 12s did too... it went on, but the arms were tight! The ARMS? It may just be the style, but I want that dress to feel good, the arms to be loose and lovely, the skirt to fall nicely and not have to navigate its way over a mountain of lard.
It won't be a quick fix, no matter how impatient I am. A great incentive is the wardrobe full of dresses I wore at goal and afterwards, lots of them vintage, dresses I love. I have been hiding away in Dec in a big long coat, one I wore in 2009 when losing the weight. When i started wearing it back then I had to wear it open as it is 'waisted' and was too tight. Then it fastened, then it was loose, then way too loose. It was one of the few things I didn't give away, as I do love it, and wearing it again and feeling it get tighter was a warning sign I chose to ignore. (Well, I knew what I was doing... wasn't going to let a little thing like no clothes to wear get in the way of the urge to binge.) Yesterday the coat buttoned easily again, without feeling tight. It's a start.
Really hope the books I ordered to help with the 'head-work' arrive soon. Otherwise, I'd say I am... content. Calm. That's a good place to be.
Have a brilliant Tuesday, everyone...
xxx