Licking the Lid of Life....my esoteric diary

I'm actually looking forward to it, never in a million years did I ever think I'd say I'm goin to a diet group.

You've done it before, you can do it again. 'Normal' people have time off+don't beat themselves up so don't be too hard on yourself. We're your support network so make sure you log on :)

Keep us posted on what it's like? I'm not totally discounting the possibility for the future. My membership now runs to 9th may so that will be a whole year and a few days past my 32nd birthday so I want to see what a full year brings. Like you say other people have blow ours and just carry on. Maybe I'm just normal!!! X
 
Keep us posted on what it's like? I'm not totally discounting the possibility for the future. My membership now runs to 9th may so that will be a whole year and a few days past my 32nd birthday so I want to see what a full year brings. Like you say other people have blow ours and just carry on. Maybe I'm just normal!!! X

Welcome back. I had a terrible start to the week - 4 days when my syns just skyrocketed for no apparent reason, I just kept stuffing my face on autopilot. Back on it today so hopefully fresh start for both of us!
 
Keep us posted on what it's like? I'm not totally discounting the possibility for the future. My membership now runs to 9th may so that will be a whole year and a few days past my 32nd birthday so I want to see what a full year brings. Like you say other people have blow ours and just carry on. Maybe I'm just normal!!! X

You're committed and CAN do this plus you're normal :)
 
Weird how it's a relief to just be normal :) x
 
Welcome back ltd! Have to say u works struggle with online let alone on my own. But horses for courses. Good luck for this week
 
Hi Sam!

I feel the same as you, I really didn't want to renew my membership as I barely go on the site other than to update my stats but I know that if I even stop doing that I will lapse into my old ways so I finally paid for the renewal, but since I did that I have made another decision, I am away on holiday soon and I know I will easily put on half a stone or more, so I am going to join a group when I get back. It will be my first time to a group but I think I am ready. So I will be paying twice now :doh:

I figure that all the time it works I can justify the expense, the reason I am going to go to group is that I want the benefit of the free membership for maintaining, I really don't trust myself to be good once I have reached my target and accept now that this will be my way of life if I want to stay slim (when I eventually get there!)

We all need some sort of extra support whether we pay for it or not, if we didn't we wouldn't be here in the first place! :)
 
Pretty sure I have heard that you can e mail sw and say you want to change to group and they will send you vouchers
 
Hi, welcome back (though I've been away so I can hardly say welcome back...). Anyway, we all do it, all have those days (see my own 'pig-dog' diary post for details....) , and we all have different methods of support which get us through it. If the SW online membership is what does it for you, then it's worth the money. Also, if it helps - I think I gained 10 lbs in the last 10 days... seriously :-(
 
Ahh thanks. :)

ill be 'fessing up this wed and then back to business. Hopefully whatever goes on comes off quick!!! X
 
Feel ok today actually. Definitely feel better for being on track. Hopefully the damage tomorrow morning isn't too great and I can recapture my losing juju.

Plus I had scan bran for lunch so am hoping for the poo fairy before tomorrow!

Whats that you say? Too much information? Well go find a less expressive diarist.... ;)
 
Scan bran smoothie should do the trick.........

1 scan bran, 1 cup syrup of figs, 1 cup prune juice, 1 tbsp chilli!! Liquidise and put the loo roll in the freezer on standby... :7834: :sign0131:

(*please - for those who may even contemplate the faintest belief that this is a real recipe DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)
 
Scan bran smoothie should do the trick.........

1 scan bran, 1 cup syrup of figs, 1 cup prune juice, 1 tbsp chilli!! Liquidise and put the loo roll in the freezer on standby... :7834: :sign0131:

(*please - for those who may even contemplate the faintest belief that this is a real recipe DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)

I might actually try this - it may actually work where all else fails. The mix doesn't even sound too vile to me!
 
Scan bran smoothie should do the trick.........

1 scan bran, 1 cup syrup of figs, 1 cup prune juice, 1 tbsp chilli!! Liquidise and put the loo roll in the freezer on standby... :7834: :sign0131:

(*please - for those who may even contemplate the faintest belief that this is a real recipe DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)

Its a sign of desperation that I looked at that and went "right, well Id need to get some prunes..." :eek:
 
Wednesday 19th February

Reassessment

I spent a sizeable sum on hypnotherapy, further money on my SW membership and have totally overhauled my and my family's eating habits. So it's no wonder that I can't figure out why I STILL self sabotage (although nothing like I used to thank goodness!!) sometimes. I try and justify it by putting it into context with other addictions. Alcohol or drugs you can avoid. Food, its essential. We have to have it and so the will power is constantly being tested. No going cold turkey on cold turkey. Mmm turkey....

anyhoo...so I have three months and its been a year since I joined. Although may/June of that period was a waste. Really it all came together at the end of July, beginning of August when I had the therapy. I want to see where I can get to by my birthday (early may). But I can tell I still lack the determination. I am hoping that the realisation that I am happier on plan, with the limits and the controls, than I am off plan where I permanently feel guilty about everything that goes in my mouth (easy tiger) will help. But despite all this I feel a bit resentful. I need to work out why or if its just a lull.

On the plus side it was a maintain this week and I really don't deserve it. At all. I'm hoping to drop the 2lb gain from last week this coming week and then start from there. I've got a back catalogue of magazines bought from eBay that I am going to read for inspiration and I'm going to look at some of the success pics on here too for an added boost. I might even post some of my own to record what I have managed so far. That might spur me on too!!

Its testament to SW that I haven't contemplated changing plan, not once. In the past I would have blamed the weight watchers/ Atkins / Dukan / low gi for not being sustainable and manageable long term. This time I know its me!! Only I can fix it!
 
Wednesday 19th February

Reassessment

I spent a sizeable sum on hypnotherapy, further money on my SW membership and have totally overhauled my and my family's eating habits. So it's no wonder that I can't figure out why I STILL self sabotage (although nothing like I used to thank goodness!!) sometimes. I try and justify it by putting it into context with other addictions. Alcohol or drugs you can avoid. Food, its essential. We have to have it and so the will power is constantly being tested. No going cold turkey on cold turkey. Mmm turkey....

anyhoo...so I have three months and its been a year since I joined. Although may/June of that period was a waste. Really it all came together at the end of July, beginning of August when I had the therapy. I want to see where I can get to by my birthday (early may). But I can tell I still lack the determination. I am hoping that the realisation that I am happier on plan, with the limits and the controls, than I am off plan where I permanently feel guilty about everything that goes in my mouth (easy tiger) will help. But despite all this I feel a bit resentful. I need to work out why or if its just a lull.

On the plus side it was a maintain this week and I really don't deserve it. At all. I'm hoping to drop the 2lb gain from last week this coming week and then start from there. I've got a back catalogue of magazines bought from eBay that I am going to read for inspiration and I'm going to look at some of the success pics on here too for an added boost. I might even post some of my own to record what I have managed so far. That might spur me on too!!

Its testament to SW that I haven't contemplated changing plan, not once. In the past I would have blamed the weight watchers/ Atkins / Dukan / low gi for not being sustainable and manageable long term. This time I know its me!! Only I can fix it!

Well done on the sts,and also the plan that you have in place. I find that sometime sts worth doing a for and against list, so why you are wanting to lose weight and why you don't, normally you find that you actually overcome your donts yourselves. Good luck for this week
 
I like the list idea. Even mentally it's easy to see the benefits...healthier, nice clothes, more energy, not feeling out of place versus being a greedy cow as really there is no other reason to NOT lose weight. That and saggy skin (baggy body on C4 scared me somewhat!!)
 
I think you're right that SW is probably the best plan not only to continue losing weight, but probably also to develop healthier attitudes to food too.

How far did the help you got with the hypnotherapy go into all the reasons for bingeing and how to address those fully?

Til recently I'd never called myself a 'binger', but the roots of it were there (that and drinking too much alcohol to cope with life). I've been reading a few books on the psychology behind weight loss - Paul McKenna, the Beck Diet Solution, and Orbach's 'Fat is a Feminist Issue'. The last one is quite dated now, but it encourages you to think about whether there is truly anything about being fat that appeals to you, as she found in her work with a lot of women that binge eaters and compulsive eaters often had ambiguous feelings about 'fat' and 'thin'. I was quite surprised to find that for me, being 'fat' isn't just negative - it also signifies being able to not push myself so hard, to relax, to not have to be a career success in the same way. I feel like if I'm thin I'll put more pressure on myself in many ways. I wonder if recognising this will help to overcome my remaining mindless-eating episodes... Rambling a bit here but I am intrigued to see how far going into the psychology of it all can help people change for good. Of course some people might find it makes it worse!

Anyway keep at it for now, you're in it for the long-haul and are determined so change will come.
 
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