Pinklady1911
serial dieter!!!
Well done moosh 
hope your shopping for pension plans goes well!!
hope your shopping for pension plans goes well!!
Moosh's S&S diary
- Thread starter MiniMoosh
- Start date
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
I'vefeeling so weird this weekend. I don't know if the gym class was a mistake or if it's something else but I don't feel myself at all. I keep falling, I'm dizzy and my hands won't work properly. I feel so stupid! Yesterday I was in a good mood, I actually made a weekend pland and kept to it- went to drop of a parcel, went to the gym, went to town for a bank meeting. I had porridge before the gym, came home and had a strawberry shake, went bank. That's when it got all weird, a bit 'out of body' and I fell over. Shakey hands and suddenly my mouth doesn't belong to me.
I got home and had something, can't remember. Vanilla pack maybe. I couldn't sit down, I couldn't walk and I just felt so spacey and weird.
I had an extra bar, honey one. Then I had more stuff, I can't remember. Nothing tasted right, I can't chew. Water tasting funny too. Cup of tea made my feel sick. I tried watching a film all snuggled up on the sofa but I felt so jittery I was walking round the room every few seconds. Freaking out. I had food, I had to. I had some beans and they made my mouth feel gross, I threw them away. Had two small boxes of raisins, I must have done but I can't remember but the boxes are here. I opened a tin of apricots and had one and they tasted savoury. Really freaking out then, forget the diet I just want to feel normal.
I had some cucumber, it tasted like rubber so I threw it but I know it was fine as had had some already, I remember weighing it. Ended the day feeling starving hungry, crying hungry, needing to chew but I can't swallow? I had some crackers but I was chewing them and spitting out! There may have been more food, I have no idea.
Today- got up 11ish, weighed for some reason. 2lb up, or 4lb, or 10 I now can't remember. Sat in the bath for a while. Had vanilla mush, didn't feel up to actual making. Tasted metallic. Have drank water today, I don't know how much but it tastes odd. Tried tap water, bottled, and tried adding water flavour but it all tastes wrong!
I had a bar at 2ish, tesco one, then had two tins of veg soup and some branston but nothing tastes right. I threw away the rest of the crackers. I just had a chilli, that's 3 packs today plus the extra crap but it was difficult to eat and all the while I kept thinking I want something sweet. I'm thinking what can I eat what can I eat, my head is floaty and I'm not sure I'm writing this.
I made 4 drawers for my cupboard but I've made all holes in them, they look TERRIBLE but I don't care. I only put 5 handles on I tried to do the rest- there are 8 altogether- but I can't.
I don't feel like me and I don't know why. My mouth wants to eat but the rest of me doesn't. I'M SCARED. I have work tomorrow I can't be like this. I want to get back on track but nothing works! My body is against me.
My driving force is there, my goal in sight and suddenly everything is crap. I have a meal next weekend with my best friend, something we've done for years and I want go and be happy, have a goss. I wanted to lose a couple more lb before I saw her. Mini-goal. Frenchman is coming here for the Easter weekend, knows I'm dieting but I haven't seen him for 3 stone so hope it will be a suprise. Plus long term goals of BFs wedding and seeing my family. ALL IN MY MIND! Why do I feel this funny. This isn't a blip, it isn't me being unable to resist. I'm actually thinking of food that I could eat to make myself feel more like me- in a physical way, not emotional. I can't go dr, I can't even describe my feelings. I don't want to take a day off work, work days are so much easier for me. Plus need the money!
Aaargh. Will post this drivel then go and sigh at my shitty DIY skills and rearrange my stuff, then come back and delete. Am suffering madness crapbags.
Confession- took orlistat after going mad with food yesterday. Took 2 laxitives too, though that was also cos I aint pood in DAYS. Not since before big blip earlier in week. All that stuff, all my packs, is still in me. Today, hurrah, tiny poo but where is all the stuff from the packs going. Is it rotting in me and killing me. Also have started on benefibre again.
I really really want to chew but the idea of putting anything in my mouth makes me want to cry. I don't even want to drink water.
I got home and had something, can't remember. Vanilla pack maybe. I couldn't sit down, I couldn't walk and I just felt so spacey and weird.
I had an extra bar, honey one. Then I had more stuff, I can't remember. Nothing tasted right, I can't chew. Water tasting funny too. Cup of tea made my feel sick. I tried watching a film all snuggled up on the sofa but I felt so jittery I was walking round the room every few seconds. Freaking out. I had food, I had to. I had some beans and they made my mouth feel gross, I threw them away. Had two small boxes of raisins, I must have done but I can't remember but the boxes are here. I opened a tin of apricots and had one and they tasted savoury. Really freaking out then, forget the diet I just want to feel normal.
I had some cucumber, it tasted like rubber so I threw it but I know it was fine as had had some already, I remember weighing it. Ended the day feeling starving hungry, crying hungry, needing to chew but I can't swallow? I had some crackers but I was chewing them and spitting out! There may have been more food, I have no idea.
Today- got up 11ish, weighed for some reason. 2lb up, or 4lb, or 10 I now can't remember. Sat in the bath for a while. Had vanilla mush, didn't feel up to actual making. Tasted metallic. Have drank water today, I don't know how much but it tastes odd. Tried tap water, bottled, and tried adding water flavour but it all tastes wrong!
I had a bar at 2ish, tesco one, then had two tins of veg soup and some branston but nothing tastes right. I threw away the rest of the crackers. I just had a chilli, that's 3 packs today plus the extra crap but it was difficult to eat and all the while I kept thinking I want something sweet. I'm thinking what can I eat what can I eat, my head is floaty and I'm not sure I'm writing this.
I made 4 drawers for my cupboard but I've made all holes in them, they look TERRIBLE but I don't care. I only put 5 handles on I tried to do the rest- there are 8 altogether- but I can't.
I don't feel like me and I don't know why. My mouth wants to eat but the rest of me doesn't. I'M SCARED. I have work tomorrow I can't be like this. I want to get back on track but nothing works! My body is against me.
My driving force is there, my goal in sight and suddenly everything is crap. I have a meal next weekend with my best friend, something we've done for years and I want go and be happy, have a goss. I wanted to lose a couple more lb before I saw her. Mini-goal. Frenchman is coming here for the Easter weekend, knows I'm dieting but I haven't seen him for 3 stone so hope it will be a suprise. Plus long term goals of BFs wedding and seeing my family. ALL IN MY MIND! Why do I feel this funny. This isn't a blip, it isn't me being unable to resist. I'm actually thinking of food that I could eat to make myself feel more like me- in a physical way, not emotional. I can't go dr, I can't even describe my feelings. I don't want to take a day off work, work days are so much easier for me. Plus need the money!
Aaargh. Will post this drivel then go and sigh at my shitty DIY skills and rearrange my stuff, then come back and delete. Am suffering madness crapbags.
Confession- took orlistat after going mad with food yesterday. Took 2 laxitives too, though that was also cos I aint pood in DAYS. Not since before big blip earlier in week. All that stuff, all my packs, is still in me. Today, hurrah, tiny poo but where is all the stuff from the packs going. Is it rotting in me and killing me. Also have started on benefibre again.
I really really want to chew but the idea of putting anything in my mouth makes me want to cry. I don't even want to drink water.
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Oh and one decidedly odd thing- my TOTM. Ok I started my periods at age 9, was very regular- every 30 days, started in the morning, lasted maybe a week, first few days very heavy. Then I got heavier and heavier.... they stopped when I was 18 or so. Tests, blah blah, told it was due to weight. Diagnosed with PCOS at 16 or so.
Anyway they came back when I got below about 17st, when I was 24 or something. Not regular, very very heavy (changing every hour or even more frequently, days off work etc) Have got more regular as weight went away, every 5 weeks ish, still very heavy.
Arrgh I'm writing bollux aint it...... so last sunday I came on, boo, cos I know first day is lightish (for me) then the nest two days are hell, like 3 or 4 pads, super massive tampons and 3 spare pairs of trews at work just in case. But this time..... lighter, monday still heavy but ok, lasted a few days getting lighter.... I used yellow tampons! Never needed them before, goes from heavy to stopping!
So it's been years and years since I've finished less than a week before starting. On day one I bought four 14-packs of tampons, about 5 packs of towels.... have only opened one of each?!>?!!> I'm going mad, this is a big thing for me but writing about it is a bit sordid!
Anyway maybe stupid-head is due to hormones going hay wire. Is that even a phrase? Don't care. Maybe losing weight is making my hormonal changes all confused and weepy and it's not the exercise at all. I really hope not, I want to continue going for 1. to tone all this skin 2. boost metabolism, get all fat-burny 3. I forgot how much I love aerobics! I get it all wrong and look very confused but once I got a thing going I'm ok.
Anyway they came back when I got below about 17st, when I was 24 or something. Not regular, very very heavy (changing every hour or even more frequently, days off work etc) Have got more regular as weight went away, every 5 weeks ish, still very heavy.
Arrgh I'm writing bollux aint it...... so last sunday I came on, boo, cos I know first day is lightish (for me) then the nest two days are hell, like 3 or 4 pads, super massive tampons and 3 spare pairs of trews at work just in case. But this time..... lighter, monday still heavy but ok, lasted a few days getting lighter.... I used yellow tampons! Never needed them before, goes from heavy to stopping!
So it's been years and years since I've finished less than a week before starting. On day one I bought four 14-packs of tampons, about 5 packs of towels.... have only opened one of each?!>?!!> I'm going mad, this is a big thing for me but writing about it is a bit sordid!
Anyway maybe stupid-head is due to hormones going hay wire. Is that even a phrase? Don't care. Maybe losing weight is making my hormonal changes all confused and weepy and it's not the exercise at all. I really hope not, I want to continue going for 1. to tone all this skin 2. boost metabolism, get all fat-burny 3. I forgot how much I love aerobics! I get it all wrong and look very confused but once I got a thing going I'm ok.
From Here to Eaternity
Full Member
Thanks..
Thanks for directing me 'home'... now in rightful place!
Thanks for directing me 'home'... now in rightful place!
Pinklady1911
serial dieter!!!
Yikes i know that feeling! when i was on LT i did the same thing, i went to the gym as normal i did aqua aerobics, felt fab afterwards and for quite some time! but as the day went on, i could clench a fist, my fingers felt numb but tingly at the same time! so odd, plus i felt dizzy and starving hungry all day and bad tempered! havent done it since, well not that intense! i too am wanting to speed my motabolism as i know it naturally slows when your on a vlcd but i feel that if i build muscle it will help speed it up. i just dont want to weigh heavier but then on the other hand, no one knows what you weigh unless you tell them! theres slim, toned people out there who weight 11/12 stone! who are a size 10/12!
I know how you feel, i do hope you feel better tomorrow for work
I know how you feel, i do hope you feel better tomorrow for work
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Yikes i know that feeling! when i was on LT i did the same thing, i went to the gym as normal i did aqua aerobics, felt fab afterwards and for quite some time! but as the day went on, i could clench a fist, my fingers felt numb but tingly at the same time! so odd, plus i felt dizzy and starving hungry all day and bad tempered! havent done it since, well not that intense! i too am wanting to speed my motabolism as i know it naturally slows when your on a vlcd but i feel that if i build muscle it will help speed it up. i just dont want to weigh heavier but then on the other hand, no one knows what you weigh unless you tell them! theres slim, toned people out there who weight 11/12 stone! who are a size 10/12!
I know how you feel, i do hope you feel better tomorrow for work
Thanks for that, it's good to know that someone felt the same too. And it makes sense, maybe it was just too much. I won't do that class again, I think I'll stick to a DVD cos I can set my own limits.
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
I just don't know, I feel so odd. This was introducing new exercise, not continuing so I think was a mistake.
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
I've been feeling so bad and sorry for myself all weekend. Just bleating like a baby. My dad just called and told me my uncle had passed away. I can't even be with my dad, they live 300 miles away, I just feel for him as this was his closest brother (family of 10 siblings) and my dad has to deal with the guilt of not seeing him, it was very sudden although the cancer was terminal. Dad was going to see him next weekend. I just want to be there for him.
Puts all my bullcrap in perspective. I need to buck my ideas up and do my best to be healthy for my family. I never told them but when I was at my largest, 21st, I was told by my gynea that I was putting my life at risk. I don't want to eat myself to death, nor do I want the associated health risks that go hand in hand with obesity.
Puts all my bullcrap in perspective. I need to buck my ideas up and do my best to be healthy for my family. I never told them but when I was at my largest, 21st, I was told by my gynea that I was putting my life at risk. I don't want to eat myself to death, nor do I want the associated health risks that go hand in hand with obesity.
BordersGirl
Feeling great in 2012!
Sounds like that class was too much for you on this diet Moosh. Burning off 700 calories when you're only consuming 600 is a bad idea I think. Something less strenuous would probably be just the ticket.
Sorry for your loss too. Sounds like your stress levels are all up the swanny, and what with the exercise issue too that didn't help. None of us want to endanger our lives by being obese, which is why we're all here. To be healthy and happy. You are doing really well and you will get to where you want to be. Just focus on that. Hope you have a good night's sleep and feel ok at work tomorrow hun xx
Sorry for your loss too. Sounds like your stress levels are all up the swanny, and what with the exercise issue too that didn't help. None of us want to endanger our lives by being obese, which is why we're all here. To be healthy and happy. You are doing really well and you will get to where you want to be. Just focus on that. Hope you have a good night's sleep and feel ok at work tomorrow hun xx
tinkerblonde
Full Member
Sorry to read your bad news moosh.
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
