Moosh's S&S diary
- Thread starter MiniMoosh
- Start date
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Thanks for all the wonderful support, makes me feel so much better knowing you're all out there.
Today has been a bit gross, past indescretions catching up with me. Last night after I spoke to my dad I was feeling so shitty- emotional, and physically- I ate a little bit of fruit and fibre. And a bit more, bit more, then sudddenly half the box is gone. So I realised. I chucked the rest.
Today is a new day. Good news- a nanny friend of mine is having family over and has asked me to babysit next month so theres some money coming in. And payday tomorrow! Bad news- my mum's parcel got there in time for her birthday, but the mirror frame I got was all broken
It's from Camden market so no receipt either, no claim. Dammit.
Had porridge with garam masala, nutmeg and cinnamon at 7 and am now having choc mush. Having a day off Coke Zero, though I did have some boullion earlier. I made a veg and cheese omelette for baby, I even did some of that posh salty bacon to put in it and didn't scoff. Past me would have cooked the whole pack, slice or two for baby, rest for me. Then still eaten a big lunch once baby was sleeping! Need to change, need to be new me not old me!
Am writing off weightloss this week. I've buggered myself around too much all weekend, I think weighing any point this week will just dissapoint so... scales away,going to try to be good this week!
I lookedinto going home next weekend to see my family but no chance, no trains back on sunday at all so I would have to leave before I arrived! What a shame. Maybe over easter, le frenchman was supposed to come but I may put him off.
Today has been a bit gross, past indescretions catching up with me. Last night after I spoke to my dad I was feeling so shitty- emotional, and physically- I ate a little bit of fruit and fibre. And a bit more, bit more, then sudddenly half the box is gone. So I realised. I chucked the rest.
Today is a new day. Good news- a nanny friend of mine is having family over and has asked me to babysit next month so theres some money coming in. And payday tomorrow! Bad news- my mum's parcel got there in time for her birthday, but the mirror frame I got was all broken
It's from Camden market so no receipt either, no claim. Dammit.Had porridge with garam masala, nutmeg and cinnamon at 7 and am now having choc mush. Having a day off Coke Zero, though I did have some boullion earlier. I made a veg and cheese omelette for baby, I even did some of that posh salty bacon to put in it and didn't scoff. Past me would have cooked the whole pack, slice or two for baby, rest for me. Then still eaten a big lunch once baby was sleeping! Need to change, need to be new me not old me!
Am writing off weightloss this week. I've buggered myself around too much all weekend, I think weighing any point this week will just dissapoint so... scales away,going to try to be good this week!
I lookedinto going home next weekend to see my family but no chance, no trains back on sunday at all so I would have to leave before I arrived! What a shame. Maybe over easter, le frenchman was supposed to come but I may put him off.
Well done for getting right back on track after a very difficult day. U didn't eat anything bad which is amazing. If it had been me I would have been straight to the Chinese and topped that off with crisps and wine. That's why I am in this position.
I finally tried ur moosh tonight with the crispy choc shake it was lovely and very filling but I am now dying of thirst no matter how much I drink. At least I am finally full after days of being ravenous.
I finally tried ur moosh tonight with the crispy choc shake it was lovely and very filling but I am now dying of thirst no matter how much I drink. At least I am finally full after days of being ravenous.
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Sorry to hear your news hun xxxx
Well done for gettin back on track.
And as for lefrenchman lol awwww let him visit, that might just be what u need
Oh I do want to see him but I need the Easter weekend to go home to see my family. He understands.
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Right, day whatever it is. Week 7? I think so. Yesterday started off well then went downhill.... I had an extra 100g or so of celery. Not too bad, but I had it with about a tbs of salad cream to dip. And then had an extra bar. Boo, idiot me but I really needed it.
New dawn, new day etc. Strawberry mush for breakie as was in a hurry, I wanted porridge but no time to cook, stir, wait to settle etc. Maybe have some at lunch if I've any left at work.
I'm undecided on the fizzy drink issue. I know that when I get to goal and start just eating 'normally'- thats a new normal, not going back to old ways- I don't want to be having fizzy everyday. I don't really want to be having it now but it helps. I did the day without any fizzy or flavoured water yesterday, I had a couple of cups of tea and two boullions and water. Probably only had about 5l so thats good. Today I went and bought a bottle of strawberry tesco water to drink on the way home, and I got some cans of coke zero which are at home now, not bringing them work or I'll drink them all today!
I think.... fizzy helps me not to crave, it fills a hole and I think I need to keep it up. I need that to be a wee little treat, rather than just having another pack to look forward to. So sticking to it.
I just realised that if I had actually done this week properly I could have gotten to a 2 stone loss on S&S, thats only 3lb away. Stupid me! Oh well, maybe next week. Still not weighed this week, don't dare!
New dawn, new day etc. Strawberry mush for breakie as was in a hurry, I wanted porridge but no time to cook, stir, wait to settle etc. Maybe have some at lunch if I've any left at work.
I'm undecided on the fizzy drink issue. I know that when I get to goal and start just eating 'normally'- thats a new normal, not going back to old ways- I don't want to be having fizzy everyday. I don't really want to be having it now but it helps. I did the day without any fizzy or flavoured water yesterday, I had a couple of cups of tea and two boullions and water. Probably only had about 5l so thats good. Today I went and bought a bottle of strawberry tesco water to drink on the way home, and I got some cans of coke zero which are at home now, not bringing them work or I'll drink them all today!
I think.... fizzy helps me not to crave, it fills a hole and I think I need to keep it up. I need that to be a wee little treat, rather than just having another pack to look forward to. So sticking to it.
I just realised that if I had actually done this week properly I could have gotten to a 2 stone loss on S&S, thats only 3lb away. Stupid me! Oh well, maybe next week. Still not weighed this week, don't dare!
stef2009
Gold Member
Cant believe ur on week 7 uve done so well, cant wait till i get that far, your bound to have ups and downs, i know i will be!!
Im the same with fizzy pop i use it to fill me up, although i think im having it too much as im getting to full for my last shake!!!
Heres to maybe a 2 stone loss next week!!!! xxxxx
Im the same with fizzy pop i use it to fill me up, although i think im having it too much as im getting to full for my last shake!!!
Heres to maybe a 2 stone loss next week!!!!
xxxxx
Pinklady1911
serial dieter!!!
Good luck for this next week Moosh, just stick last week behind you, it happens!!! im very close to going off plan myself but im not yet going to attempt to stick it out although i think i took myself out of ketosis by having two bars one day last week, i didnt realise till i got home and wrote down what id eaten! fortunately they were SnS ones rather than BL, i reckon id of been screwed if it was the big BL ones. by the way yum friggin yum - the BL break fast bars are delish!!!!!! defo my favs
Anyway heres to a good week for all of us, keep up the positive spirit its hard at times but hey ho thats just life!
Anyway heres to a good week for all of us, keep up the positive spirit its hard at times but hey ho thats just life!
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Oooh, today was good! I finally erm.... went. Properly. Phew, in my mind thats all the manky crud I've been eating this week gone. Actually it's not that bad, on any other diet tinned fruit and fruit n fibre would hardly be off-plan! But now it feels like a new start
I have this thing I do on a Tuesday. Basically I use an Oyster card for work, I use it once a day on the school run and take the money from the float. On a Tuesday I take the wee one to playgroup so use it three times- which takes you up to the daily limit. So.... I usually jump on the bus after work and go to the huge out of town Asda and go nuts, essentially. Buy any choc bars on offer, the biggest cheapest multi-pack of crisps, a ton of sugary cereal, packed meats, cakes.... and live off it for the next few days, no 'real' food at all. Haven't been since I started S&S, but today I did. I bought.....
box of cans of coke zero
herb shaker to put on salad
mixed spice
9 BL bars
And nothing else! Sounds sooo stupid but I'm oddly proud of myself. I tried on lots of tops too, I've only bought jeans since I started losing but seriously, what happened to fashion? I was very happy to fit into a size 16 and a few size 18 tops, but none of them were worth buying. There were a few dresses I liked the look of, as 'incentive' buys, but I honestly don't know what size I will feel best at, nor what my body shape will be. I need to get there and try stuff on! I do know I want some really colourful jeans, orange or burnt red or something.
Today gerkins happened. Very odd, but a nice change. I got pickled ones, am I being very thick when I say- can you get them not pickled, or are they a different veg when not pickled? Hmm.
Also tried shallots for the first time, sweeter than I thought! I was sooo blooming hungry by 12 that I had a bag of rocket salad- 70g, and a shallot chopped and sprinkled over making it 100g. VERY VERY HOT! My goodness, rocket is very fiery. Took my tastebuds away! I then had lunch, a choc shake mush, and I could barely taste it! Hadn'e anticipated that! Def doing it again though, yummy.
I saw pickled shallots in Asda, may be my next purchase!
Today was- choc mush, 100g rocket and shallot, choc mush, Tesco bar, 100g gerkins, choc shake. Actually didn't realise today was a choc day till I wrote that! For anyone counting that is 4 packs and veg. JUST 4! I'm really taking my time writing this diary so am not tempted by other packs! I could go a BL bar!
Also had- 1 cup of tea, 3l flavoured water, about 1-2l water, 4 cans coke zero.
I sat on the bus and saw myself in the window- always the worst view of me, hair all over the place after a hard day, shiny glasses and fat chin. Still gross, but a lot less gross than it was. I want to see myself accidentally and not mind what I see!
My copy of Wheat Belly came last night, very very interesting so far and a bit easier to read than Escape the Diet Trap which I'm still wading through! Might start a thread about diet/non-diet books when I've read them, like some kind of diety bookclub!
I have this thing I do on a Tuesday. Basically I use an Oyster card for work, I use it once a day on the school run and take the money from the float. On a Tuesday I take the wee one to playgroup so use it three times- which takes you up to the daily limit. So.... I usually jump on the bus after work and go to the huge out of town Asda and go nuts, essentially. Buy any choc bars on offer, the biggest cheapest multi-pack of crisps, a ton of sugary cereal, packed meats, cakes.... and live off it for the next few days, no 'real' food at all. Haven't been since I started S&S, but today I did. I bought.....
box of cans of coke zero
herb shaker to put on salad
mixed spice
9 BL bars
And nothing else! Sounds sooo stupid but I'm oddly proud of myself. I tried on lots of tops too, I've only bought jeans since I started losing but seriously, what happened to fashion? I was very happy to fit into a size 16 and a few size 18 tops, but none of them were worth buying. There were a few dresses I liked the look of, as 'incentive' buys, but I honestly don't know what size I will feel best at, nor what my body shape will be. I need to get there and try stuff on! I do know I want some really colourful jeans, orange or burnt red or something.
Today gerkins happened. Very odd, but a nice change. I got pickled ones, am I being very thick when I say- can you get them not pickled, or are they a different veg when not pickled? Hmm.
Also tried shallots for the first time, sweeter than I thought! I was sooo blooming hungry by 12 that I had a bag of rocket salad- 70g, and a shallot chopped and sprinkled over making it 100g. VERY VERY HOT! My goodness, rocket is very fiery. Took my tastebuds away! I then had lunch, a choc shake mush, and I could barely taste it! Hadn'e anticipated that! Def doing it again though, yummy.
I saw pickled shallots in Asda, may be my next purchase!
Today was- choc mush, 100g rocket and shallot, choc mush, Tesco bar, 100g gerkins, choc shake. Actually didn't realise today was a choc day till I wrote that! For anyone counting that is 4 packs and veg. JUST 4! I'm really taking my time writing this diary so am not tempted by other packs! I could go a BL bar!
Also had- 1 cup of tea, 3l flavoured water, about 1-2l water, 4 cans coke zero.
I sat on the bus and saw myself in the window- always the worst view of me, hair all over the place after a hard day, shiny glasses and fat chin. Still gross, but a lot less gross than it was. I want to see myself accidentally and not mind what I see!
My copy of Wheat Belly came last night, very very interesting so far and a bit easier to read than Escape the Diet Trap which I'm still wading through! Might start a thread about diet/non-diet books when I've read them, like some kind of diety bookclub!
TaraTeal
Silver Member
I love your diary moosh, you always put a smile on my face. It's just some of the things you say really remind me of myself. The bus window reflection moment was one of them. I can relate but I am sure it isn't as bad as you feel it is. We always critisise ourselves too much!
I had a similar moment in next the other day, they have the lovely changing rooms with mirrors at every angle and lighting that shows every lump and bump, mmm flattering. Everywhere I turned I was bombarded with an image I wanted to bleach from my memory! I hate the profile of my face and saw it too many times that day to be able to forget, also when I turn to the side slightly, the tops of my arms resemble a cavemans club, I remind myself of a wrestler!
Good to hear you are still going strong anyway moosh! my day wasn't very good, but will be back on track tomorrow! x
I had a similar moment in next the other day, they have the lovely changing rooms with mirrors at every angle and lighting that shows every lump and bump, mmm flattering. Everywhere I turned I was bombarded with an image I wanted to bleach from my memory! I hate the profile of my face and saw it too many times that day to be able to forget, also when I turn to the side slightly, the tops of my arms resemble a cavemans club, I remind myself of a wrestler!
Good to hear you are still going strong anyway moosh! my day wasn't very good, but will be back on track tomorrow! x
BordersGirl
Feeling great in 2012!
I love your diary too Moosh. You have a way of writing that always makes me smile . I can relate to seeing my reflection too. One of the things that makes me feel that I have lost weight though is that people want to sit next to me on the train. I think I preferred it when I was fatter and people would sit elsewhere out of choice as I filled the seat. Now I have to pretend to have some horrible lurgy in an attempt to keep them away. Cough or sniff like mad when anyone looks like sitting next to me
. I can relate to seeing my reflection too. One of the things that makes me feel that I have lost weight though is that people want to sit next to me on the train. I think I preferred it when I was fatter and people would sit elsewhere out of choice as I filled the seat. Now I have to pretend to have some horrible lurgy in an attempt to keep them away. Cough or sniff like mad when anyone looks like sitting next to me
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
I know what you mean Tara, I was in Asda looking in the three fold mirror and trying to keep my head up so my neck doesn't fold down all gross.... yuck. I wish I had found a top in 16 that I liked but I'm not paying a tenner for an oddly shaped gypsy top!
I'm going as strong as I can- just as determined, no chance of quitting, but a bit cheaty! Today 100%, hopefully the rest of the week! I'm seeing my best friend on sat for a meal, already got it planned out so I won't go over the chicken/vag allowance. I don't want to have another break, this week was bad enough!
Hope tomorrow is good for you! You're gonna be a gorgeous bride!
I'm going as strong as I can- just as determined, no chance of quitting, but a bit cheaty! Today 100%, hopefully the rest of the week! I'm seeing my best friend on sat for a meal, already got it planned out so I won't go over the chicken/vag allowance. I don't want to have another break, this week was bad enough!
Hope tomorrow is good for you! You're gonna be a gorgeous bride!
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
I love your diary too Moosh. You have a way of writing that always makes me smile
Oh I'm the other way- if I have a seat next to me and someone chooses to sit elsewhere I think oh gods, they think I'm too fat to sit next to! Best advice though- when someone wants to sit next to you, just smile slowely at them and pat the seat. Helps if you look slightly deranged (I've got this down). No more seat-mates!
BordersGirl
Feeling great in 2012!
I reckon I could pull the deranged look off too. In fact I might not even have to try very hard!
TaraTeal
Silver Member
haha I hate having people sit next to me. I always seem to get soap dodgers too!
Yes, 3 fold mirrors, the enemy.
A little off subject, but I also hate photos of me on theme park rides, this is something that haunts me. I love to go on these rides, and thinking back, I would drag my ex bf away from the photo screens, because I knew the photos would be awful, I always looked like a massive fat albino, pulling the most awful faces. We went one year, and there were new rides, that video you on your way round, hmmm wonderful! So not only did I have a photo to contend with, but I had to watch a video of myself being thrashed about in slow motion on a roller coaster! It was the stuff nightmares are made of. Now I kind of look foward to not running away from the photo screens in the future. And being able to actually look in the 3 fold mirrors without throwing up a little in my mouth x
Yes, 3 fold mirrors, the enemy.
A little off subject, but I also hate photos of me on theme park rides, this is something that haunts me. I love to go on these rides, and thinking back, I would drag my ex bf away from the photo screens, because I knew the photos would be awful, I always looked like a massive fat albino, pulling the most awful faces. We went one year, and there were new rides, that video you on your way round, hmmm wonderful! So not only did I have a photo to contend with, but I had to watch a video of myself being thrashed about in slow motion on a roller coaster! It was the stuff nightmares are made of. Now I kind of look foward to not running away from the photo screens in the future. And being able to actually look in the 3 fold mirrors without throwing up a little in my mouth x
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Eeek, I've very rarely been on rides so not an issue- alwasy convinced I wouldn't fit. Once I went on a pirate ship, an adult one not a kiddy one but the restraint was so tight it really hurt. I had my eyes closed and was gritting my teeth, each time it swung I could feel it crushing me. My sisters thought I was scared, I never told them why I never went on a ride again.
My worst worst memory for this kind of thing- I used to work in a hotel nursery, had a lot of roles and one was entertainment. Twice a week I had to stand in the main lounge space with 3 other childcare staff and dance to stuff like S club, Combine Harvester etc. And sooo many parents would film it.... several songs required jumping and I just couldn't do it, I mean I was about 18st at that point no way I could jump! So I'd stand there in the line-up and die a little every time, knowing several hundred parents were looking at us and knowing why I couldn't do it. Awful! I just hate to think of someone popping a tape in to watch and theres me in all my sweaty glory. And I was barely at my beat anyway, the day would run working 8am-6pm, 6-7 the entertainment, then 7.15-11 back to work!
TaraTeal
Silver Member
Bloody hell... Bless you, the thought of having to do anything like that puts the shivers up me anyway, I used to work in a local theme park restaurant where they'd have shows 4 times a day for the kids, well it was soul destroying!
I've avoided cameras my whole life, people have lots of photos of me either caught off guard, which are always very flattering! ahem.. Or ones of me running away, putting my hand up, or awkwardly forcing a smile! I don't like other people taking my photo. My mum has the awful video of us all at xmas wen I was around 17-18 and although I prob weighed what I do now roughly, I just look enormous on it, I am sat cross legged watching my little sisters rummage through gifts, always say I look like a fat buddha sat there! I hope I feel much better at my goal weight for the wedding, otherwise the wedding photos will be interesting to say the least, photos of the bride ducking behind random objects! Diving behind tables and such like!
I've avoided cameras my whole life, people have lots of photos of me either caught off guard, which are always very flattering! ahem.. Or ones of me running away, putting my hand up, or awkwardly forcing a smile! I don't like other people taking my photo. My mum has the awful video of us all at xmas wen I was around 17-18 and although I prob weighed what I do now roughly, I just look enormous on it, I am sat cross legged watching my little sisters rummage through gifts, always say I look like a fat buddha sat there! I hope I feel much better at my goal weight for the wedding, otherwise the wedding photos will be interesting to say the least, photos of the bride ducking behind random objects! Diving behind tables and such like!
MiniMoosh
Mooshing back
Well, very happy to say that yesterday was (finally!) a 100% day. Phew, I can do this. I'm classing a day I have even one little sweetie (damn you percy pig!) as not being 100%. I had 4 packs, 200g of different veg. I think I need to stop having 200g of one type of veg all at once- usually half a cucumber or several bits of celery.
Today breakfast was vanilla mush in a wine glass, don't ask, and lunch was 150g salad made from a mini gem lettuce, 1 stick celery, one shallot and a bit of cucumber all shopped up and mixed. Yum yum, a very nice lunch that I would never in a million years have made before! Plus I saved 50g veg, plan to have another gerkin after tea!
I'm off to school in 15-20 mins when baby wakes up so no opertunity to have that 'missed' pack. Good good, I can have my usual bar at 5, a BL bar as I got some! Then have two packs this evening or maybe even put some tuna in the spag bol, I love a nice tuna pasta bake and thats the closest I'll get!
Read more of Escape the Diet Trap and I really recomend it, making a lot of sense but mainly it described in tiny detail the way they make margarine and YUCK! Hope I never jump on that again, I got through a tub a week of Stork, all on my own!
Got a couple more diet books from the library, secrets of skinny chicks and arabella wier one. All motivation!
Saw a nanny friend, I see her very often and she knows exactly what I'm doing and she said she was noticing it was working. Good!
I'm more motivated today, I'm even rationing my only bottle of flavoured water! I didn't bring any coke zero to work, I'll save that for my treat tonight! I did bring some water flavourings so no excuses to buy coke zero in the day, I have that sweetness if I need it. I have had a cp of tea today but the rest has been water.
Today breakfast was vanilla mush in a wine glass, don't ask, and lunch was 150g salad made from a mini gem lettuce, 1 stick celery, one shallot and a bit of cucumber all shopped up and mixed. Yum yum, a very nice lunch that I would never in a million years have made before! Plus I saved 50g veg, plan to have another gerkin after tea!
I'm off to school in 15-20 mins when baby wakes up so no opertunity to have that 'missed' pack. Good good, I can have my usual bar at 5, a BL bar as I got some! Then have two packs this evening or maybe even put some tuna in the spag bol, I love a nice tuna pasta bake and thats the closest I'll get!
Read more of Escape the Diet Trap and I really recomend it, making a lot of sense but mainly it described in tiny detail the way they make margarine and YUCK! Hope I never jump on that again, I got through a tub a week of Stork, all on my own!
Got a couple more diet books from the library, secrets of skinny chicks and arabella wier one. All motivation!
Saw a nanny friend, I see her very often and she knows exactly what I'm doing and she said she was noticing it was working. Good!
I'm more motivated today, I'm even rationing my only bottle of flavoured water! I didn't bring any coke zero to work, I'll save that for my treat tonight! I did bring some water flavourings so no excuses to buy coke zero in the day, I have that sweetness if I need it. I have had a cp of tea today but the rest has been water.
