My FIL - RANT!!

Jim

Big Boy
The FIL - It never rains, but it pours
Well here we go.

Last week the Hospital told us they could do no more for Jack, he won't do the physio, he won't do anything they tell him, so they told us they would be discharging him this week. OK, we've had his bed moved downstairs, there is a downstairs toilet and sink, no bath mind, but they have been bed bathing him for ages anyway.

So we said, OK, we'll contact the carers to let them know. Any Tuesday or Thursday would be OK as Colleen doesn't work those days.

Guess what, they phoned last night to say he's coming out today, bugger, OK what time? can't say sorry, sometime today. Sigh. We went round the house last night with some food shopping and to turn the heating up higher. He's got a burst pipe. Marvellous, now we have to try and find a plumber to come round today. I've turned of the stop cock and cleaned up as much of the mess as we can. I called the Hospital to let them know, not their problem it seems. I spoke to his social worker (who I'm sure is convinced we don't want him back home) She said, she'd find sheltered accommodation if we don manage to get a plumber. So that's where we are at the moment.
 
Oh no Jim - what a 'mare! Cant believe the hospital is being like that - then again i suppose they have given up on him. Why is he so stubborn. Sorry to ask but cant he come to you (i know thats probably not an option but just asking in case they say this to you).
Have you had any joy with a plumber?
 
Oh no Jim... its very true it never rains but it pours, hope you manage to get things sorted. xxx
 
We can't have Jack in our house Vicky, wish we could but it's an old house and all the floors are on different levels, when he first went to hospital and then into a care home some 4 years ago now, we got the social worker to come and check our place out, She said that whilst we have plenty of spare rooms, the staircases and steps between the rooms are a danger to old folk? So after a 6 month spell in a remedial care home he came back home. We'd already had a chair lift installed for the MIL and Jack doesn't do much anyway, even before the fall down the stairs, he'd only get up to be washed and fed then go straight back to bed.
 
Yes was just thinking the same Jim - he is obviously unhappy and has given up. very sad - can he go into a home?
 
Jim - I've been through all this in the last few years. It is very difficult. Sometimes you have to put your foot down with a heavy hand and tell the hospital that he can come out when his environment is safe for him to do so and when you are able to support his return - they have a duty of care and the hospital social worker would be failing in her job if she allowed him to come out into an unsafe or inadequate environment with no support. I did many battles over the awful care my mum had, not to mention the battles between Health and Social as to who paid for what part of her care. At one point she went a whole week without the essential cream that had to be put on after her shower every morning because someone wrote a directive that the carers were not to cream her as it was "Health" - the big problem was that they didn't tell us or medical so it went un-noticed until I read her care book on the following Sunday when I visited. I found out that the care workers themselves were upset about it as they could see her skin getting worse (to the extent that she bled when they showered her) and weren't allowed to do anything about it x
 
Yes was just thinking the same Jim - he is obviously unhappy and has given up. very sad - can he go into a home?

we want him too, but he wont Vicky, and you can't make them.

Thanks Gem, yes we read that notes every week to check on what's going on. We found one week that he'd run out of blister packs of meds, no one had informed us or the pharmacy to get more delivered. They told us it was our job to monitor his meds and ensure they had enough to administer. Jeez, even a phone call would have been enough for us to sort it.
 
Oh Jim. its awful - must be very hard for you and colleen xxx
 
I used to have a box made up for Mum, delivered every week then put up in a cupboard out of reach. Sometimes she would "lose" the box and there would be a panic call as she would say it hadn't been delivered. A call to the wonderful Lloyds Pharmacy that delivered would demystify the situation and another box would be delivered pronto. A quick scout around once I got there would usually reveal a sealed box in the paper bag it was delivered in somewhere slightly unusual and under something. Then I had to drive to the pharmacy and return the box. I got to know the girls there really well!!! x
 
Oh Jim so sorry to hear this! It is really dreadful when the different services can't get themselves organised and joined up.

I think Gem is right - put your foot down with the hospital and say his home's not fit for him yet - and threaten to go to the papers if they refuse! As one who works in the media, that can often do the trick! Not nice, but hey they aren't playing fair either...big hugs to you and Colleen x
 
LOL Gem, we are the same with the Pharmacy girls, they are so helpful.

Yay, we have a plumber, £50 call out charge but he's coming out in an hour.

I'm getting ready to go and pick Colleen up and head over there.
 
yes Jim glad you got a plumber - best of luck. x
 
I'm off guys, see you tomorrow.
 
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