My spangly low carb odyssey
- Thread starter Spanglymum
- Start date
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Thanks, guys. I'm swimming from time to time, taking the stairs instead of the lift at work, and doing kettle bells sporadically. Oh, and does weeding the allotment count? For once I'm not setting myself unachievable goals... Just trying to move more and do what feels good. And focusing on quality sleep as well!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Omg, green! Made your porridge for tomorrow morning. Blimey it's good!!
Also made big green salad and hard boiled some eggs for during the week. Been busy today: mowed the grass (with my trusty manual mower, which entails randomly retrieving and reinserting bolts from time to time), then this afternoon went lavender picking in the local lavender fields (in between the epic rain).
Feel v bloated. Trying not to let it get to me as otherwise I feel absolutely amazing - but don't like the feeling. Poss pmt although I think a tad early (last month was v late though so maybe evening up? Tmi, sorry!!) have to say I'm loving the energy and well being though. Fab. Fab!
Also made big green salad and hard boiled some eggs for during the week. Been busy today: mowed the grass (with my trusty manual mower, which entails randomly retrieving and reinserting bolts from time to time), then this afternoon went lavender picking in the local lavender fields (in between the epic rain).
Feel v bloated. Trying not to let it get to me as otherwise I feel absolutely amazing - but don't like the feeling. Poss pmt although I think a tad early (last month was v late though so maybe evening up? Tmi, sorry!!) have to say I'm loving the energy and well being though. Fab. Fab!
greeneyedhippychick
Full Member
Brilliant! Glad you enjoyed it. I put some dried fig in mine the other day and it tasted like uncooked cake mixture. Lovely but darn sweet!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Got my "pondering" head on today and not sure how to make sense of stuff, so think I'll brain dump...
Paleo/low carb food = yummy, satisfying, carb cravings starting to fade
Still knackered though :-( (lupus? autoimmune thing? too little sleep? trying to do too much? all of the above?)
Wishlist:
more quality time with family
perform more effectively at work
allotment (peace and quiet and fresh air!)
kettle bells (but too knackered (?) at night)
local choir (never seem to have time)
yoga
Reduce:
Exhaustion/fatigue
Stress
Guilt
aaaaaaargh
I know we all have the same amount of time in a week. The trick is to get the balance right. I'm definitely moving in the right direction with nutrition (and sleep - as focusing more on this and being investigated at the hospital re sleep apnoea and/or autoimmune stuff going on)... but
I beat myself up constantly. Still. Not doing enough with my girls. Not doing enough with my husband. Not performing as well as I "should" (?) at work. Shouldn't complain about the commute - others have it worse, at least I have a job yadda yadda. Moan moan. Want to do XYZ but "I'm too tired"... yawwwwwnnnnnn
I'm boring myself! How do I snap myself out of this? Do I need to?
I think I need a holiday, really - but the awful thing is I know I won't get one, not really. Time "off" from work means much more in the way of "mum" stuff, which, if I'm honest, is a lot more taxing, mentally and emotionally and physically, than my job. It never stops. I never get any down time. So while part of me is looking forward to a break from work and the commute, part of me is dreading it, because I know I'll end up more tired than before I took the time "off". Hmm.
Writing this makes me wonder about booking in to a spa or something for "me"...
Paleo/low carb food = yummy, satisfying, carb cravings starting to fade
Still knackered though :-( (lupus? autoimmune thing? too little sleep? trying to do too much? all of the above?)
Wishlist:
more quality time with family
perform more effectively at work
allotment (peace and quiet and fresh air!)
kettle bells (but too knackered (?) at night)
local choir (never seem to have time)
yoga
Reduce:
Exhaustion/fatigue
Stress
Guilt
aaaaaaargh
I know we all have the same amount of time in a week. The trick is to get the balance right. I'm definitely moving in the right direction with nutrition (and sleep - as focusing more on this and being investigated at the hospital re sleep apnoea and/or autoimmune stuff going on)... but
I beat myself up constantly. Still. Not doing enough with my girls. Not doing enough with my husband. Not performing as well as I "should" (?) at work. Shouldn't complain about the commute - others have it worse, at least I have a job yadda yadda. Moan moan. Want to do XYZ but "I'm too tired"... yawwwwwnnnnnn
I'm boring myself! How do I snap myself out of this? Do I need to?
I think I need a holiday, really - but the awful thing is I know I won't get one, not really. Time "off" from work means much more in the way of "mum" stuff, which, if I'm honest, is a lot more taxing, mentally and emotionally and physically, than my job. It never stops. I never get any down time. So while part of me is looking forward to a break from work and the commute, part of me is dreading it, because I know I'll end up more tired than before I took the time "off". Hmm.
Writing this makes me wonder about booking in to a spa or something for "me"...
greeneyedhippychick
Full Member
Oh bless! I know exactly how you're feeling. Think it's a modern day phenomenon for woman. Sometimes I wonder if women's lib did us any favours. In effect we ended up working as well as taking on all the household/ kid responsibilities. It's no wonder that we can feel overwhelmed by it all.
Now just take a long breath... and stop trying to do everything!
Honestly though Spangly. I think you're probably do a fantastic job just as you are. Look at what you've achieved already. The yoga may be a huge step in the right direction (I'm a bit of a yoga fanatic so maybe biased). It will help you stretch, relax and feel good. Do you already practice?
Sending a bit hug through the ether :bighug:
Now just take a long breath... and stop trying to do everything!
Honestly though Spangly. I think you're probably do a fantastic job just as you are. Look at what you've achieved already. The yoga may be a huge step in the right direction (I'm a bit of a yoga fanatic so maybe biased). It will help you stretch, relax and feel good. Do you already practice?
Sending a bit hug through the ether :bighug:
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Thanks, both
Getting fit, I could go part time, but we'd have to move house, as it's my salary that pays the mortgage. So it would be a real upheaval for the whole family, which I'd prefer to avoid. My husband has relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis and retired last year (he's 38 ).I've always been the main breadwinner, so that doesn't bother me as such, but it's quite a responsibility now that I'm the *only* breadwinner. He gets a small teachers' disability pension, so at least that's something!
In my darker moments I do feel some self-pity creeping in, which is (a) pointless and (b) a bit silly really, given that my life is actually pretty good!!
I'm thinking of booking into an overnight spa thing for a night, if I can find a reasonable deal. Would enable me to recharge my batteries and stop being such a martyr!!
As for yoga - I did practise for a while but am rubbish at it (!). I love it though...
Mutters... Make time! Make time!
Getting fit, I could go part time, but we'd have to move house, as it's my salary that pays the mortgage. So it would be a real upheaval for the whole family, which I'd prefer to avoid. My husband has relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis and retired last year (he's 38 ).I've always been the main breadwinner, so that doesn't bother me as such, but it's quite a responsibility now that I'm the *only* breadwinner. He gets a small teachers' disability pension, so at least that's something!
In my darker moments I do feel some self-pity creeping in, which is (a) pointless and (b) a bit silly really, given that my life is actually pretty good!!
I'm thinking of booking into an overnight spa thing for a night, if I can find a reasonable deal. Would enable me to recharge my batteries and stop being such a martyr!!
As for yoga - I did practise for a while but am rubbish at it (!). I love it though...
Mutters... Make time! Make time!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Arrrgh. Mentioned spa idea to my husband and he's dead set against it because "the benefits won't justify the cost". I was/am sooooooo cross. Oh well.
Phoenyx
Step away from the cake..
Poor you. I know how you feel about needing a break. I'm trying to justify going on a paleo boot camp next week. My ex is supposed to take the kids for a week in the summer, but he doesn't have his own place. He's expecting to come to mine, but that doesn't exactly give me a break. I cant remember the last time i wasnt woken up by my kids!! Dont get me wrong, I love to see them in the morning! But I don't want him turning up late every day and hanging around like a bad smell. What sort of break is that?
I just happened to be browsing online and came across a boot camp that matches my days off exactly. But it's £499 and I just don't know if I can justify that. Hmmm.
I just happened to be browsing online and came across a boot camp that matches my days off exactly. But it's £499 and I just don't know if I can justify that. Hmmm.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
So nice to know you understand (although I kind of wish you didn't, as it means you need a break too!)
Had big heart to heart and looks like I'll be booking into a local (ie inexpensive!) hotel quite soon for a night. Fab. I love my hubby! He's quite right that a spa would be overkill (although I might start saving up for next year!!) I can't wait for the utter bliss of a long bubbly bath followed by trashy telly followed by an UNITERRUPTED NIGHT'S SLEEP!!!
We had a very exciting day today. We went to the rowing at Eton Dorney (our one event) and saw the women get the first team GB gold!! It was a ma zing!!
Had big heart to heart and looks like I'll be booking into a local (ie inexpensive!) hotel quite soon for a night. Fab. I love my hubby! He's quite right that a spa would be overkill (although I might start saving up for next year!!) I can't wait for the utter bliss of a long bubbly bath followed by trashy telly followed by an UNITERRUPTED NIGHT'S SLEEP!!!
We had a very exciting day today. We went to the rowing at Eton Dorney (our one event) and saw the women get the first team GB gold!! It was a ma zing!!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Well... Not a good night, alas. But made myself get up in plenty of time for the drive in as it makes it much easier and less stressful. My younger daughter woke up at midnight and then my husband was snoring from 3:45am. Oh well. Am in a surprisingly equable mood, considering!
Am starting to 'simplify'. First thing to go was the allotment. It was unrealistic to take it on - though the times I spent there were utterly blissful. I would feel guilty afterwards though, because I don't get to spend much time with my family as it is. So back the key goes. I'm sad about it, but also really proud of myself for being able to admit it's too much right now. That's quite a big step for me.
Have to say the biggest revelation for me, even this early on, in being low carb again, is how much better I can manage my appetite, and how much clearer my hunger/satiety signals are - even after a week and a half! When I'm eating carbs (especially refined ones) I just seem to be constantly peckish. Now I can really feel the difference between 'really hungry' and 'satisfied - food can wait'. I can't express how much of a relief this is. I was starting to give up hope. All the constant self battles with packs etc were so knackering and futile. I was scared to eat normal food in case I ballooned. I know it's early days, but this access to 'natural' appetite management really does seem to be key...
Am starting to 'simplify'. First thing to go was the allotment. It was unrealistic to take it on - though the times I spent there were utterly blissful. I would feel guilty afterwards though, because I don't get to spend much time with my family as it is. So back the key goes. I'm sad about it, but also really proud of myself for being able to admit it's too much right now. That's quite a big step for me.
Have to say the biggest revelation for me, even this early on, in being low carb again, is how much better I can manage my appetite, and how much clearer my hunger/satiety signals are - even after a week and a half! When I'm eating carbs (especially refined ones) I just seem to be constantly peckish. Now I can really feel the difference between 'really hungry' and 'satisfied - food can wait'. I can't express how much of a relief this is. I was starting to give up hope. All the constant self battles with packs etc were so knackering and futile. I was scared to eat normal food in case I ballooned. I know it's early days, but this access to 'natural' appetite management really does seem to be key...
Spanglymum
Gold Member
What a difference a few days makes (and not in a good way, alas). Seeeerious pmt then period from hell. Haven't gone totally overboard but still have a sense of having lost my equilibrium foodwise. Feeling very very very bloated and can't seem to eat anything satisfying. Just want more more more of everything. Have kept things reasonably sane (ie no chocolate, alcohol, biscuits or bread) but have eaten too many nuts and quite a lot of unsweetened carob (full of soya). Oh well! Hopefully the bloat will pass...
On a different note I've signed up for a free British military fitness class next week. Am a bit excited!!
On a different note I've signed up for a free British military fitness class next week. Am a bit excited!!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Really struggling at the moment. Having a total crisis of confidence. Mainly with work, but also with weight. I'm failing. Keep trying to do a particular monthly report and every single month I manage to make a mistake. It's a huge report that takes days to compile - a lot of it manually - and I've been trying to computerise and automate it but in the process I've made mistake after mistake, which just isn't good enough. Thing is I find it mind-numbingly tedious to do and I get bored doing it. Then I lose focus. I know its not acceptable but it's the way it is.
Thing is, I'm 'burnt out'. I kind of suspected it some time ago and then was googling it at lunchtime and realised the term fits me to a tee. I did it. I made it. I got the 'big' job I'd always wanted but turns out it's not what I really wanted at all. basically I'm not interested in it enough... It's the same old projects I've done in my last two jobs... So I'm bored. Stressed but also bored. My boss has all the ideas and I end up running around finishing things off. Dull dull dull. And the boredom is making my stress worse because it's so hard to force myself to keep going at an appropriate pace so I know I'm falling behind but it's all my fault.
I want to quit but I can't. I hate leaving home each morning at silly o clock to miss the traffic and the cries of 'mummy please stay with me!' when I come home at night...
Fed up. I used to have talents and abilities and interests. Now I'm just a middle aged frump doing badly at a middle management job dressed up as a directorship. I used to draw and paint - actually have some talent for it. Also creative writing... Really really want to write (have started again a year or so ago in fact)... Life is passing me by, my girls will soon be grown up and I'll be left wondering why I was never home. Why I dried up my talents to pay a mortgage.
Sorry. What a pity party, eh? Guess this is what I used to drown out with alcohol. The unbearable blandness of being...
Thing is, I'm 'burnt out'. I kind of suspected it some time ago and then was googling it at lunchtime and realised the term fits me to a tee. I did it. I made it. I got the 'big' job I'd always wanted but turns out it's not what I really wanted at all. basically I'm not interested in it enough... It's the same old projects I've done in my last two jobs... So I'm bored. Stressed but also bored. My boss has all the ideas and I end up running around finishing things off. Dull dull dull. And the boredom is making my stress worse because it's so hard to force myself to keep going at an appropriate pace so I know I'm falling behind but it's all my fault.
I want to quit but I can't. I hate leaving home each morning at silly o clock to miss the traffic and the cries of 'mummy please stay with me!' when I come home at night...
Fed up. I used to have talents and abilities and interests. Now I'm just a middle aged frump doing badly at a middle management job dressed up as a directorship. I used to draw and paint - actually have some talent for it. Also creative writing... Really really want to write (have started again a year or so ago in fact)... Life is passing me by, my girls will soon be grown up and I'll be left wondering why I was never home. Why I dried up my talents to pay a mortgage.
Sorry. What a pity party, eh? Guess this is what I used to drown out with alcohol. The unbearable blandness of being...
Phoenyx
Step away from the cake..
Okay, now, I don't know anything about your job, but I can say with certainty that your life is nowhere near through. Im in a similar, but different life position to you - I had the middle management frustrating but too well paid to give up job, but change was forced upon me when my husband left. I gave it up to become an underpaid overworked teacher so i could look after my kids in the holidays. I love it. All I needed was a boot up the bum. What about you? Is there an alternative you haven't yet considered?
Thats not to say my lifes without issues - I have to confess, there are times when I wonder if life really is supposed to be this bl**dy hard.
But as mums, we don't really have a choice. Chin up. For me term time is a stressful nightmare trying to handle a full time job & 2 kids, but I'm lucky to have holidays with my kids, and whilst I only have about 1 lie in a year (ex doesn't take the kids overnight ) and not enough money to escape on holiday, I firmly believe my time will come. The kids will fly the nest, and I'll be able to do what I want. Your life isn't stuck or over unless you want it to be. You could go for change now - do something different. I know your family circumstances are limiting, but either work round them now, or believe that you can do so in the future. Your talents have definitely not dried up!
And, honestly, good things will happen to you. How do I know this? Because you are an inspiration. Your support and advice and regular minimins wafflings are the reason I have managed to end a 20 year dieting history that more than a few times bordered eating disorder territory. Im forever in your debt. And if you've touched my life, I bet you have touched others too. You are amazing, and your time will come.
As far as time with your girls go, that's a decision only you can make. But there is no right or wrong decision here. As parents, we'll f*ck them up anyway. If you go out to work, it's because you weren't home enough, if you're at home it's because they didn't have enough independence - there will always be something.
To help it along a bit though, look at what you've written and ask yourself, if someone else had posted that, what would you advise? We often give our best advice to others and not to ourselves.
Sending you lots of love and hugs through the down patch x
Thats not to say my lifes without issues - I have to confess, there are times when I wonder if life really is supposed to be this bl**dy hard.
But as mums, we don't really have a choice. Chin up. For me term time is a stressful nightmare trying to handle a full time job & 2 kids, but I'm lucky to have holidays with my kids, and whilst I only have about 1 lie in a year (ex doesn't take the kids overnight ) and not enough money to escape on holiday, I firmly believe my time will come. The kids will fly the nest, and I'll be able to do what I want. Your life isn't stuck or over unless you want it to be. You could go for change now - do something different. I know your family circumstances are limiting, but either work round them now, or believe that you can do so in the future. Your talents have definitely not dried up!
And, honestly, good things will happen to you. How do I know this? Because you are an inspiration. Your support and advice and regular minimins wafflings are the reason I have managed to end a 20 year dieting history that more than a few times bordered eating disorder territory. Im forever in your debt. And if you've touched my life, I bet you have touched others too. You are amazing, and your time will come.
As far as time with your girls go, that's a decision only you can make. But there is no right or wrong decision here. As parents, we'll f*ck them up anyway. If you go out to work, it's because you weren't home enough, if you're at home it's because they didn't have enough independence - there will always be something.
To help it along a bit though, look at what you've written and ask yourself, if someone else had posted that, what would you advise? We often give our best advice to others and not to ourselves.
Sending you lots of love and hugs through the down patch x
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Spanglymum
Gold Member
Phoenyx, thank you SO MUCH. I read your post yesterday, when I was very very low, and you brought a tear to my eye. I really appreciate what you wrote. I'm trying to dig myself out of my negative hole at the moment. It's difficult - but I won't give up!
I'm thinking of work/life balance stuff. Not giving up working full-time - but making space in the times "off" for things I value: time with my family, drawing, reading, painting, photography, singing, baking, gardening (but low-key, not allotment-tastic!). Making these things a priority.
I'm thinking of work/life balance stuff. Not giving up working full-time - but making space in the times "off" for things I value: time with my family, drawing, reading, painting, photography, singing, baking, gardening (but low-key, not allotment-tastic!). Making these things a priority.
Phoenyx
Step away from the cake..
Spanglymum said:
It's so hard isn't it. I've put nearly a grand on my credit card for a few days in centre parcs. I really wanted to go away with my girls. We'd planned camping but the weather is funny and it's so much hard work camping on your own with 2 kids, I know I'll end up losing my temper or being tired and not doing anything with the girls. So I've booked lots of small activities at centre parc that we can do together (a treasure hunt, a roller disco!, archery etc.) bl**dy expensive but like you, I just don't want this time to slip away.
I hope you find some lovely activities and let me know if there are any particularly good ones!
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Spanglymum
Gold Member
Good for you, phoenyx! I hope you have a wonderful time.
I had a weird day today. I developed a mind-blowing headache (migraine?) at work. Ended up having to go to the sick room to lie down in the dark. Cancelled my meetings and drove home as soon as I felt able. The headache is still there but not quite as bad, though I now have some numbness and pins and needles going on, which isn't much fun. Stress. All down to stress.
I need need need to balance my life. This is such an obvious red flag/warning sign. But what do I do? Am soooooooo tired. And feel like I'm failing at work. Not accomplishing what the company deserves of me. Aargh. And now feel guilty on top of everything else for missing a day's productivity. I'm even more behind now. Bother.
Will try to get some sleep and hope things seem better in the morning.
I had a weird day today. I developed a mind-blowing headache (migraine?) at work. Ended up having to go to the sick room to lie down in the dark. Cancelled my meetings and drove home as soon as I felt able. The headache is still there but not quite as bad, though I now have some numbness and pins and needles going on, which isn't much fun. Stress. All down to stress.
I need need need to balance my life. This is such an obvious red flag/warning sign. But what do I do? Am soooooooo tired. And feel like I'm failing at work. Not accomplishing what the company deserves of me. Aargh. And now feel guilty on top of everything else for missing a day's productivity. I'm even more behind now. Bother.
Will try to get some sleep and hope things seem better in the morning.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Well - things DID look better in the morning, then worse again, then better. Been a bit of a rollercoaster recently to say the least. "just" (inverted commas intentional!) overdoing things, as usual. I went to see the GP yesterday re the migraine and he reckons I need a holiday . He did say though, "easy for me to say" - as he realises how much I've got on my plate. Really sore head again this morning but I reckon it's at least partly psychosomatic (but no less painful for that) as it calms down as soon as I open my inbox and plan my diary for the day. Avoiding work does NOT help. I need to be doing!!
Am trying to be kind to myself at the moment. Trying not to overdo the self-inflicted pressure, and getting through these last few days until my break, whatever way I can. If that means carbs (in moderation), then so be it!
Spent some time at the weeked doing comforting things, like church and cooking and gardening ... planted a wisteria (birthday present from my lovely husband), and some nasturtiums. Next week I have a night in a hotel, on my own. The lengths I go to to get a break, eh? But it will be utter BLISS! I'm taking Lush bath bombs and glossy magazines and will watch total rubbish on telly, and lie in until... ooh... maybe even 7am?!
. He did say though, "easy for me to say" - as he realises how much I've got on my plate. Really sore head again this morning but I reckon it's at least partly psychosomatic (but no less painful for that) as it calms down as soon as I open my inbox and plan my diary for the day. Avoiding work does NOT help. I need to be doing!!Am trying to be kind to myself at the moment. Trying not to overdo the self-inflicted pressure, and getting through these last few days until my break, whatever way I can. If that means carbs (in moderation), then so be it!
Spent some time at the weeked doing comforting things, like church and cooking and gardening ... planted a wisteria (birthday present from my lovely husband), and some nasturtiums. Next week I have a night in a hotel, on my own. The lengths I go to to get a break, eh? But it will be utter BLISS! I'm taking Lush bath bombs and glossy magazines and will watch total rubbish on telly, and lie in until... ooh... maybe even 7am?!
