Spanglymum
Gold Member
Still 100% !! I will do this. I AM doing this!
My spangly low carb odyssey
- Thread starter Spanglymum
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Spanglymum
Gold Member
Day four (in Big Brother VoiceOver stylee). I've got loads of meetings today. The early morning was a bit fraught as hubby needed to get youngest to nursery before hospital transport arrived. I took our eldest to my mum's before heading to the station (London today). Turns out that transport arrived while he was out!!! Gah! So now he has to pay for a taxi.
This is his monthly Tysabri infusion. It's great that he's registered for transport, and it's fab that it's free, but it's a bit much that for a 10:30 appt he has to be free from 8am and then they turn up at a quarter to!
I'm really glad/relieved to be back on packs. Packed my shaker for today and it's such a relief to be stopping the endless conversations about what to eat not eat etc etc. I'm still planning on transitioning back to Paleo/low carb eventually, but I know that being overweight is a big trigger for me, as is being glucose-burning, so I thought I'd get back to goal and off the carbs roller coaster first. I still think its the best route for me for long-term maintenance.
This is his monthly Tysabri infusion. It's great that he's registered for transport, and it's fab that it's free, but it's a bit much that for a 10:30 appt he has to be free from 8am and then they turn up at a quarter to!
I'm really glad/relieved to be back on packs. Packed my shaker for today and it's such a relief to be stopping the endless conversations about what to eat not eat etc etc. I'm still planning on transitioning back to Paleo/low carb eventually, but I know that being overweight is a big trigger for me, as is being glucose-burning, so I thought I'd get back to goal and off the carbs roller coaster first. I still think its the best route for me for long-term maintenance.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Lol at 'siren song'. How apt!
Can I just say I hate black tea without milk? But I hate being overweight more!
Can I just say I hate black tea without milk? But I hate being overweight more!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Ah yes I used to! I'd forgotten. Thanks for the suggestion!
Been busy today, which is good, as I've not had much time to miss food lol. There was a leaving do at work and I found it easy to turn down the cake. Hurrah! I'm hoping the next few weeks pass quicker than the last few days, pack-wise. I seem to remember they do, once you're in the swing of it. At the moment each day seems very long. But I'm doing it. Blimey I'm determined. Want to know my spur?
One of the clergy at our church asked me the week before last (to be fair, I was wearing a shalwar kameez at the time - quite loose and floaty - from my business trip to Inda earlier this year)... Asked me if I was expecting!!!
Oh. My. God!!
Can you imagine? I know I've chunked out a bit, but steady on a minute! This week I made certain to wear something fitted lol.
He did realise his error pretty fast - my expression of horror must have said it all - and it was v embarassing as he tried to apologise etc.
But still. It's positive, as it gave me a much-needed kick up the behookie (as they say in Edinburgh).
Been busy today, which is good, as I've not had much time to miss food lol. There was a leaving do at work and I found it easy to turn down the cake. Hurrah! I'm hoping the next few weeks pass quicker than the last few days, pack-wise. I seem to remember they do, once you're in the swing of it. At the moment each day seems very long. But I'm doing it. Blimey I'm determined. Want to know my spur?
One of the clergy at our church asked me the week before last (to be fair, I was wearing a shalwar kameez at the time - quite loose and floaty - from my business trip to Inda earlier this year)... Asked me if I was expecting!!!
Oh. My. God!!
Can you imagine? I know I've chunked out a bit, but steady on a minute! This week I made certain to wear something fitted lol.
He did realise his error pretty fast - my expression of horror must have said it all - and it was v embarassing as he tried to apologise etc.
But still. It's positive, as it gave me a much-needed kick up the behookie (as they say in Edinburgh).
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Sleep seems a lot better with this low dose amitriptyline, which is fantastic. Only thing is I'm v groggy when I wake up and my joints are as sore as ever. Patience! Oh, and I'm having spectacularly vivid dreams/nightmares. Last nights was really horrible...
Anyway. I can cope with a few scary dreams if the trade off is a full night of sleep.
Big day today. My quarterly departmental meeting and lots of preparation for the annual budget forecasts. Joy!
Anyway. I can cope with a few scary dreams if the trade off is a full night of sleep.
Big day today. My quarterly departmental meeting and lots of preparation for the annual budget forecasts. Joy!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Not sure what's happening to my mood right now but I feel all over the place. Really stressed about budget meetings and convinced I'm rubbish at my job. What's that about? It was triggered by someone I find difficult yet again going to my boss about something instead of asking me directly. Ugh. Fed up. Also triggered by doing my tedious monthly report, which as usual is causing lots of headaches (figuratively).
On a good note, I haven't wavered, packs-wise. Still on track. I will do this. It's one thing I have complete control over right now, which is strangely comforting. I keep telling myself that this time next week all the budget meetings will be over, for good or ill, and things will look very different.
On a good note, I haven't wavered, packs-wise. Still on track. I will do this. It's one thing I have complete control over right now, which is strangely comforting. I keep telling myself that this time next week all the budget meetings will be over, for good or ill, and things will look very different.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Well, another day successfully done. I hadn't realised how much I'd gone back to using food to dampen emotions again. Eye-opening stuff.
Which came first: the mood swings or the carb cravings?!
I am doing this.
Which came first: the mood swings or the carb cravings?!
I am doing this.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Dreading today. Big big meetings. Really hope I've prepared enough. Joints really bad this morning. Oh well. I will keep going! I'm not going to let work stress derail me. I will be slim again!!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Really nervous. Now waiting to be called to the meeting. Aaargh! Will be glad when it's over. (Only another four days like this to get through!)
Spanglymum
Gold Member
One down! Three more to go! It was very intense, but because I'd done the preparation, I had the answers. Phew. Very glad I didn't use the stress as an excuse to go off plan.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Survived today as well. It's hard though. Been v tempted to go off plan but have resisted as I know it's not worth it.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Still hanging in there! Had a four hour meeting over lunchtime today and apart from getting thirsty (they'd forgotten to book catering!) I didn't miss my pack too much. Had it later. So two more packs left for the day. Reckon I must be in ketosis as very chilled about food/packs!
Haven't weighed myself yet. I'm scared to, in case it triggers me because I decide I'm not losing fast enough. I know I know! But it's the way my mind works. Am happier not knowing and waiting for my clothes to get looser.
Haven't weighed myself yet. I'm scared to, in case it triggers me because I decide I'm not losing fast enough. I know I know! But it's the way my mind works. Am happier not knowing and waiting for my clothes to get looser.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Been sooo busy today. In a good way! Done loads. Ketosis energy rush, anyone? Cleared the back end of our garden. Done masses of tidying and other bits as well. And loads of oil painting over the weekend. Lovely!
Back to reality tomorrow and another busy week of work. Am putting fun/enjoyment/play first at the weekends. Trying to make them feel as good as my 'staycation' did. Have succeeded this weekend
Back to reality tomorrow and another busy week of work. Am putting fun/enjoyment/play first at the weekends. Trying to make them feel as good as my 'staycation' did. Have succeeded this weekend
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Two more days of bigggggg meetings. Gah! But then a "normal" week for the rest of the time, which will be great. Have promised myself a black Americano from the Starbucks on the way into work tomorrow, for surviving today!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
I hate this being 'on call' for the meeting. I don't know when I'm going to be needed, which makes it difficult to settle to anything. It's also not doing my anxiety levels any favours! Hey ho.
Still 100% with the packs, water, black tea and coffee and peppermint tea. Go me! Feel really bloated today though, which seems unfair given that I've stuck to it 100% for a week now. Anyway, onwards and downwards!
By the way, with all this waiting around, I had a look at my old LL weight loss chart (yes I know - I'm sad and keep these things). I've been doing myself a disservice. I actually lost a total of 82lb from my starting point - almost six stone! Crikey. So this little "blip" isn't going to take that long to sort really, right? And at least I've nipped it in the bud and am knuckling down to get it SORTED OUT. Too much faffing this year, methinks!
(And I'm still in size 12 so I've not "failed"... am trying to persuade myself here! I'm just a big 12 whereas before I was a 10 to 12... (having been a size 22 or thereabouts, depending on the shop, for years...)
Still 100% with the packs, water, black tea and coffee and peppermint tea. Go me! Feel really bloated today though, which seems unfair given that I've stuck to it 100% for a week now. Anyway, onwards and downwards!
By the way, with all this waiting around, I had a look at my old LL weight loss chart (yes I know - I'm sad and keep these things). I've been doing myself a disservice. I actually lost a total of 82lb from my starting point - almost six stone! Crikey. So this little "blip" isn't going to take that long to sort really, right? And at least I've nipped it in the bud and am knuckling down to get it SORTED OUT. Too much faffing this year, methinks!
(And I'm still in size 12 so I've not "failed"... am trying to persuade myself here! I'm just a big 12 whereas before I was a 10 to 12... (having been a size 22 or thereabouts, depending on the shop, for years...)
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Spanglymum
Gold Member
Weighed myself this morning. 75.9kg. Good that it's going in the right direction but I feel quite low about it because I've really let things slip the past six months or so. I always said before that if I hit 70kg I would do something about it - but lately I've been in denial and not wanting to weigh myself. At least I'm getting it sorted!
I know intellectually that maintaining is a matter of nipping small gains in the bud straightaway, so it doesn't become a big deal and take weeks or months to get back to normal. But in reality any gain and any amount of trigger foods seems to start me on a "who cares?" rollercoaster back upwards.
I know intellectually that maintaining is a matter of nipping small gains in the bud straightaway, so it doesn't become a big deal and take weeks or months to get back to normal. But in reality any gain and any amount of trigger foods seems to start me on a "who cares?" rollercoaster back upwards.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Thanks! I didn't feel very cheery about it, to be honest. I think because I finally faced up to the number on the scales and felt like a failure. I'm not though, am I? I'm learning!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Well, a new day dawns and all that. I'm feeling low today and can't put my finger on why. I suppose a mixture of tiredness (my youngest was up twice last night) and also berating myself for being back here again. Still, on the positive side I AM DOING THIS!! I have to keep reminding myself it's one day at a time, and next week will come whether I stick to it or not, and how much better will I feel if I've stuck to it 100%? Got a slightly less manic day today that usual, meetings-wise, so hoping to get quite a lot done, which will be good.
Just realised that if I've lost 25% of my target already! There. That's better!
Just realised that if I've lost 25% of my target already! There. That's better!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Well, quite! Except that I don't very often feel any of those things (esp the "relaxed" one). Over the past year or so I've been making relaxation/mental health more of a priority but it's a work in progress. I do very much still judge myself constantly in unhelpfully black and white terms. Food for thought. Thanks!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
It's really cool being back on packs and stilling the incessant food-related chatter in my head. I waste so much energy on it! I'm planning to go back on Paleo when I'm down to goal - actually going to aim for 2kg under goal so I have "space" for glycogen and water when I start carbs again. (Otherwise the inevitable immediate 5lb gain makes me so depressed, even though I know why it happens physically (go figure! ) that I end up in a bad place mentally before I've even started and start sabotaging myself.)
Last time I went on Atkins, and although it was yummy, I made the mistake of at the same time reading a few Gary Taubes books which gave me the impression that calories don't matter at all. What he doesn't account for is (a) being a woman and (b) having a very very very high satiety level as far as protein is concerned. (Most of these low-carb proponents seem to think it's almost impossible to overeat on low carb. Er. Hello?! :wave_cry Hey ho. All part of life's rich tapestry. In some ways, though a few pounds heavier, I'm in a better place than this time last year because I've been out in the big bad world of food and survived post Lighter Life. One thing I'm still learning (and probably still will be when I'm ninety, let's be honest) is that making mistakes is OK. Gasp! Did I just say that?!!!
Anyway. Back to the food-related chatter. The thing is that for any of us who have issues with food/weight/carbs (and I believe these are all inter-related), it's never a matter of "just treating food like fuel", is it? That's what's such a relief in ketosis: the packs are literally "just fuel", and you find you have mental space for so many other things in your life (like putting together plans for how you will handle things differently next time).
) that I end up in a bad place mentally before I've even started and start sabotaging myself.)Last time I went on Atkins, and although it was yummy, I made the mistake of at the same time reading a few Gary Taubes books which gave me the impression that calories don't matter at all. What he doesn't account for is (a) being a woman and (b) having a very very very high satiety level as far as protein is concerned. (Most of these low-carb proponents seem to think it's almost impossible to overeat on low carb. Er. Hello?! :wave_cry
Hey ho. All part of life's rich tapestry. In some ways, though a few pounds heavier, I'm in a better place than this time last year because I've been out in the big bad world of food and survived post Lighter Life. One thing I'm still learning (and probably still will be when I'm ninety, let's be honest) is that making mistakes is OK. Gasp! Did I just say that?!!!Anyway. Back to the food-related chatter. The thing is that for any of us who have issues with food/weight/carbs (and I believe these are all inter-related), it's never a matter of "just treating food like fuel", is it? That's what's such a relief in ketosis: the packs are literally "just fuel", and you find you have mental space for so many other things in your life (like putting together plans for how you will handle things differently next time).
