New Beginning... Magiclove's Diary

[slendablenda]

For me I felt better almost immediately. About where you are now people started telling me I looked "well" and then from about 2.5 stone they started commenting. Some people say "I thought maybe you weren't well - I didn't like to say" I used to say - "do I look ill ?!!!!!"
It is frustrating I know - then you get the jealous ones who don't want to notice and those who are so wrapped up in themselves they don't give a monkeys about anyone else as well as the ones who can't bear the thought you might end up being slimmer than them.
It certainly turns you into a people watcher. Sit back and enjoy x
You are doing so well.

 

[lucy4loop]

It's funny you should say this now, coz I've just posted on Hanmac's diary that not a single person has mentioned me being 2/3 sizes smaller and 2 stone lighter - NOT ONE!!! It's very obvious on me - I've lost 6" from my waist alone. I guess there are all sorts of reasons people don't want to mention it - like Slenda said people may think we've been ill. Also I suppose as my relationship has just ended they may think it's down to that. I know I look and feel much better anyway.
Mags, have you measured any bits? I'll bet you'll find a reduction there!

 

[MagdaX]

I've had the busiest 2 days in a long time. I've been working very long hours with non stop pressure. It's been hard but physically I feel absolutely fine. No hunger, no headaches, just fine. I found out something amazing about myself though. I discovered how strong minded I can be. Normall in very stressful situations like those I would just stuff my face in with everything and anything just because I would feel sorry for myself. Poor lil old Mags, she is so stressed and has been working so hard. She need to eat something to make her feel better...
What bo****ks!
I don't need to eat all of that crap (we had a big buffet of snacks at work). I am better than this. Is this going to make me less tired? No! It would only make me feel guilty and horrible later on.
There is no greater feeling in the world than waking up in the morning and not feeling guilty. I have felt guilty all my life. Everytime i overeat the next day I would just feel sick with remorse and regret. And then to deal with THAT feeling... I'd eat again. And so on and so on.
This circle stops now!

 

[cerealkiller]

Way to go, Mags!:happy036:

 

[MagdaX]

I'm not having the best start of the weekend
I woke up this morning and thought to myself 'let me weigh myself'.
And now i wish i didn't!!! It looks like I only lost a pound since monday!!!
Why did I do it?! I never weigh myself at home as I know different scales might show a different weight. Now I'm really worried my weight loss is not going to be great this week but most importantly I'm getting really worried that I'm doing something wrong. A pound is nothing! I've been sticking to the program 100%! Been drinking my water etc. Maybe I'm not drinking enough... I have always been able to stick to ca.3 litres a day plus water in shakes, tea, coffee etc. It suits my body and seemed to work well so far.
Am I getting paranoid?!!

 

[lucy4loop]

Am I getting paranoid?!!

Mags - yes you are!!!

You know all about using different scales and fluid levels and all that jazz, but I do know how that sneaky weigh in makes you feel when it doesn't read right!! I did it once or twice early on and really wished I hadn't, and I don't at all now, just my weekly.

Pretend that "event" this morning NEVER HAPPENED. Keep going as you are - you're doing 100% so you are losing weight. Your normal weigh in will be a success.

xx

 

[MagdaX]

(hiding her face in her hands in shame) Thanks Lucy! I know, I know, I should know better. I don't know what possesed me this morning. I NEVER did that before.
Oh well... PROPER weigh in on Monday!

 

[River]

Yes dont weigh at home!! I weighed on my home scales before i went to my weigh in and it said id hadnt lost anything! So id worked myself up into not going but the OH pushed me out the door and turned out id lost 4lbs . So erm yeah stick to their scales..

 

[lucy4loop]

Aw, don't hang your head - you've done nothing wrong remember!! I just didn't want you to give yourself a bad day from it.
It's still my first thought every morning too - "I wonder...?" and I have to actually stop myself from weighing. I've put the scales out of sight so I don't "accidentally" jump on them when I get up !!!

You're doing fantastic Mags, hold your head high girl!

 

[kathryn B]

I weighed myself last week and thought I had only lost 2 pounds but when i got to class I had lost 6 so this week Im trying really hard not to stand on the scales.Im going to get my daughter to hide them so I dont have to look at them every morning!!
I actually find it harder resisting than eating.
So Mags dont stand on your scales!!!

 

[MagdaX]

I'm having a really bad weekend
Sadly, not LL related. I'm on the brink of ending my relationship
It's my weekend off (an extremely rare occasion) and I'm spending it on my own.
It's his birthday today and I can't even celebrate it with him because apparently he's "working". I'm tired of hearing that excuse over and over again. He's never there! It seems to me his job is his first love and then somewhere after there comes me.
I've been having a lot of thoughts about our future lately and I really cannot see us carry on like this for much longer.
The relationship is totally on his terms. We only see each other when HE feels like it. He's never there when I need him
My sister is flying in from Germany on Thursday and of course he can't make it to the airport with me.
It makes me question the fundaments of our relationship more than ever before.
I used to tolerate it because I really love him and I know he loves me too (although he never says it) but as I'm going through massive changes (losing weight etc), it makes me re-evaluate my life and it really brings me to a conclusion that I need to be alone at the moment.
I need all the support I can get and having a partner that makes me sad and depressed is not what I call support
I always used to put others before me, trying my hardest to please the ones I love but what about me?! Who will make ME happy?
It's time for that person to be me! On my own...

 

[lucy4loop]

Mags I can totally understand how you're feeling. I separated from my partner of 9 years in week 4 of abstinence. I realised just how much I'd had my head in the sand about my real feelings and my priorities. Only you know whether things have run their course, but you're right to put yourself first. Remember that whatever other people think is right for you, only you really know. I'll be thinking of you, always here if you want to "talk" or message. Lucy xxx

 

[slendablenda]

Hello Ladies,
So sorry Mags if this is the way things will go for you. Doing LL is empowering. When we start we think it's just a "diet".
Once the head starts working we seem to open up to the thoughts we have been burying beneath the blubber previously.
I know I had a huge re-evaluation and serious discussions with my OH. We had been married about 12 years. We have stayed together, but our relationship is completely different now, much calmer and more pleasant on both sides. I used to be so angry with me, with him, with the world. As I've become more confident in myself and stopped being the doormat everything has improved (not perfect, but so much better).
I think you definitely get back the vibes you give out and as you start to value yourself it has a knock on effect.
Good luck, whatever you decide. Remember - you always have a choice, even if sometimes you don't like the alternative. xx

 

[yoyo-ohno]

Hi Mags,
I hope things work out for you whatever you decide is right.
You are always so positive in your posts & supportive to others on LL. You come across as a really strong women who is capable of whatever she wants to achieve.
You must put yourself first
Take care hun
yoyo
xx

 

[MagdaX]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support ladies.
Unfortunately things are not looking good between me and my OH.
I'm yet to see him to be able to speak to him and tell him what I've decided face to face as he's away working. I have sent him a long email putting all my feelings and thoughts on 'paper' but haven't had a reply yet.
My heart bleeds because I don't want us to split up but the facts speak for themselves and the way I'm feeling at the moment is making me very unhappy.
Yes I need to do what's right for me and if that means being alone, so be it.
He is a silly silly boy to ever let me go but unfortunately it's not up to me. Deep down inside I'm hoping he'll fight for me but I've got a feeling even that is too much to ask.
Damn Americans....

On a different topic. I haven't been able to go to my weigh in tonight as I had to work late so I will pop in first thing tomorrow morning. I have to as after tonight I have no 'food' left. And of course I'm dying to see what their scales will say (esp after I stupidly weighed myself at home a few days ago only to fund out I only lost a pound!).
Suprisingly depite all the shh.. I'm going through I haven't had the urge to eat at all. I'm not even remotely interested which I find just weird as it's a completely new feeling to me! And I kinda like it! If only it lasted in years to come!
Diet wise I'm doing ok. Made some crisps at the weekend which were lovely.

So who knows maybe at the end of this I'll be skinny AND single lol

 

[slendablenda]

Maybe, but not for long ...............!

 

[MagdaX]

lol.. the 'single' bit I hope SB!

 

[cerealkiller]

Hi Mags, sorry to hear you are having trouble in your personal life. You sound like a very positive and determined person, so I am sure whatever you decide; it will be the right thing for you. Maybe hard, but you will see through it.

 

[MagdaX]

Thanks hun xx
I hope so

 

[MagdaX]

New Beginning indeed!
Just had my weigh in and I lost 4lbs! That's 18lbs in 3 weeks! I might even hit my goal of losing 20lbs by the end of September!
I have my sister's visit to look forward too now! She's coming on Thursday and it couldn't have come at a better time! I need my family with me now.
Off to work now (I'm so late lol)