Non-emotional eating

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Christovee, 29 November 2007 Social URL.

  1. Christovee

    Christovee Full Member

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    A lot is said in LL and on related forums about emotional eating ie I've had a bad day, someone upset me. However, I think I suffer from the opposite. Non-emotional eating. I completely lose my appetite when I'm really happy, sad, angry etc. However, it's when I've had a dull day at work or when I'm bored that I turn to food. Not just for something to do but because it gives me a rush. It's like a drug to me although not to mask the emotion but rather create one.

    Does this make sense to anyone? Or is it just me?
     
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  3. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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    But isn't the emotion on the dull days boredom and loneliness maybe?

    M.
     
  4. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

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    I do think in LL we try and shove every body in a box. I don't emotion eat - I just make poor choices.

    I must admit to getting a bit fed up early on with the 'your mother made you eat your peas and now you are obese' school of thought. I did this to me and it's all a bit more complex than saying it's because I am happy sad or lonely.

    The real gift from LL for me is that I find the answers within me. I don't want/expect my LLC to 'diagnose' me - and I disagree with some of the stuff she says - quite strongly - but it helps my thought process and discovery of what my food issues are.

    We are all different but LL does help you discover and change bad behaviour - not sure other diets do it as well.
     
  5. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    "Eating Less" by Gillian Riley (I know I bang on about this book, but I LOVE it) really gets to grips with the idea of food addiction - because that is what it is. Whether we are pushed to our addiction by overeating, boredom or a general lack of control, its food addiction that has got us here.

    Yes, we may have learnt bad habits in the past, but we're all adults now, and we need to find a way to move forward, and not backwards to weight gain. I highly recommend this book to any dieters - it'll change the way you think!
     
  6. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

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    Thanks Deb - I will look out for it
     
  7. Musical Missy

    Musical Missy Full Member

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    I agree with Miss Fenella about LL trying to put everyone in 'a box' ie addiction to food.
    I know lots of people do have this problem but I really don't have any food issues. My problem has always been the same - I'm just too lazy!
    Don't get me wrong - I love food but they aren't the reason I got so big - it was just a lifetime of little to no exercise. When I started LL all my friends kept saying (and still do) 'but you don't have a problem with food' - maybe thats how I've got to week 19 without even wavering slightly (or maybe I just have more will power than I previously thought?)
    Oddly I do miss doing LL though (now on CD) but I think thats probably 'cos I miss all the other girls!

    MM x
     
  8. Zomble

    Zomble Full Member

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    I'll definitely confess to being a boredom eater. If there's lots going on I don't think about food much, but looking round at my slim friends and family, they eat when they are bored, too.

    I think LL focuses on this addiction thing because it covers a multitude of different problems with food. I've never binged or had a chocolate habit, but I do eat to excess, even though it is healthy food, so whether or not it's classed as an 'addiction' or not, I must find ways to stop doing it, and I think the counselling does give you tools to address these things.

    They're never going to get it absolutely right for everybody, but I think you just have to forget about the jargon and take out of it what is most useful to your own circumstances.
     
  9. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    I must have seen it mentioned 10 times now, so I have just ordered it.
    Thanks Deb
     
  10. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I don't think my problems were really due to emotional eating. Mine were mainly habitual.

    Better go before I go off on one of my 'addictive desire' lectures :D :D
     
  11. Tiger Girl

    Tiger Girl Full Member

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    Karion - I LOVE your addictive desire lectures!!! :D

    I think anything you over-do habitually, including the good stuff is driven by emotions. I'm not sure you can de-link thoughts and behaviours. :)
     
  12. chunkychicken

    chunkychicken Full Member

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    Lighterlife covers psychological hungers in early foundation - part of which is stimulus and structure hunger and is based how you structure your time and stimulate yourself as opposed to "someone upset me etc etc" emotional hunger.
    It sounds to me Christovee that you have an imbalance somewhere in the structure of your day that you are compensating for with eating. If you feel understimulated most of the time you will try to fill that void with something (possibly food), this can also relate to not having enough intimacy (not just sexual - this is just being open and honest with someone you are close to) or strokes in your day.

    It might help you to cover this exercise in your foundation book again (week 5) and have a go at dividing up your day by the definitions in the book. If one of these areas jumps out as you as unsatisfactory (working too hard, not enough me time, not enough intimacy etc etc) then you might be able to do something about it that will help with "the nibbles".
    Hope this helps Christovee.
    Take care
    Laura
     
  13. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    MM - surely we all have a problem with food if we have got ourselves into the obese category? Whether its quantity or quality doesn't matter, we're obvisouly not doing the right thing. I accept now that I have food addiction (quality and quantity) and have not strayed from LL diet once due to the fact that I am good with "All or nothing". Its when options are available that the trouble comes. That's why I love Gillian Riley's book, because when food DOES return into the equation and I am no longer in the safety of my LL foodpack regime, I will know how to live and eat as a slim person, rather than go back to my old ways and get fat again.

    Alibongo - get the book.....its FABULOUS!!! I really feel that once I finish this I CAN be slilm for the rest of my life!!!
     
  14. Musical Missy

    Musical Missy Full Member

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    No I really don't think thats true - sure I used to eat badly sometimes but so does everyone. As I said, my problems have arisen due to inactivity rather than diet. I also think skipping meals probably didn't help either which I always used to do. My previous diet was pretty healthy in the whole scheme of things - I've always gone along with the thought -'if I don't buy it, I can't eat it' hence me rarely having foods such as crisps, chocolate and biscuits etc in the house!
    Also from reading about other people's lives on this site, a lot of people refer back to 'when they were last a size 10 or 12' ie on their wedding day or at college. I have NEVER been small/slim - its taken me over 27 years to get to this size (or that size as the case was - I think I am currently smaller than I can ever remember!)

    MM x
     
  15. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    I agree....but its how OFTEN you eat badly that is the key. If you eat badly one item per week, it won't make a lot of difference. If you eat one thing badly everyday, then they mount up to lots. People we ASSUME to be 'naturally thin' are actually people who make the healthy choice about 99% of the time, hence they can get away with 'treat's every so often. Whereas if you take the healthy choice 50% of the time, you are not going to be able to keep yourself slim.

    Perhaps (and I don't know you - so I may be wrong, and PLEASE don't take this personally, its just conjecture:confused:) you have made the healthy choice (for example) 90% of the time, which means that over the years you have put on a couple of pound a year (which is hardly noticeable at the time) which adds up in the long term?

    Just a thought.

    There's a lot of info about it in "Thin Secrets" by Dr Lizzie Someoneorother..... her website is Diet free weight loss with Thin Secrets

    Personally, I KNOW that I made unhealthy choices too often:( and that's why I am the size I am (or was!;)). I think I only made slim-choices about 15% of the time. It may not be the truth for all.

    I've decided that I'm living my post-LL life as a thin person, and aiming to think like a thin person and make thin choices for 99% of the rest of my life.:)
     
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  16. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I have to say, I used to agree with you MM, but then I had one of those very annoying lightbulb moments.

    If you take someone who is completely at ease with food around as they are 'issue-less', then they would not worry about having the unhealthy foods around, as they would never eat more than they needed anyway. Nor would they put on weight because of lack of exercise.

    They would automatically eat less.

    I now believe that if you have any non-medical reason to put on weight, then you have at least some food problems.

    Even eating healthily can be a problem. You don't have to necessarily eating unhealthy foods. If you eat too much of the good stuff; more than your body needs, then you have food issues to some degree IMO.

    If you still continue to eat too much food even though you can see that you are damaging yourself, and find it difficult to rectify, then I would say 'one' would be in the addict catagory, ie....someone who finds it difficult to stop doing something that is harmful to themselves.
     
  17. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    Dear All

    This is a great thread; contentious, yes, but there's room for everyone here! And some of the responses are absolutely spot on and insightful.

    I thought you might appreciate this quote that is often used by 12-step programmes (ie addiction) but is also attributed to Einstein:

    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

    I'm not sure that LighterLife does try to squeeze everyone into one box; I think it uses different techniques during Foundation to see what works for you. Some of the chapters I dismissed because they weren't relevant to me; others, were jam-packed with lightbulb moments.

    Fundamentally, being overweight is not being kind to yourself and, in my view, is a result of having an emotional relationship with food ie if you eat for any other reason than genuine physical hunger. In an adult state, you can make rational choices - you know and accept the consequences of eating poorly or not exercising enough. And in an adult state ie when you feel calm and rational, you'll usually find that food is not the answer you are looking for.

    For me, I liked the way that LighterLife opened the door for me to make those connections. Being abstinent gave me the time and space to work some of these things out.

    Anyway, that's just my take on it.

    Good luck with working out what's going to work for you in the long term.

    Mrs Lxxxx
     
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  19. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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  20. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    I never saw the first one, I bought the second one, which they tell me is dispatched so hopefully will arrive tomorrow. (and hopefully is the right one)
     
  21. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

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    if we shouldn't eat because we are not really hungry but are emotional, thirsty, bored or whatever. How does one recognise real hunger and when we should eat? could someone advise?
     
  22. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    real hunger comes on slowly and has no urgency to it. it doesnt involve focusing on one particular food. usually it is deep in the stomach and is not what you could call mouth or head hunger. if i've missed something, someone will be along soon with more to add
     
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