I think the bit in bold may be your answer tbh - there is only so long you can only be half on plan and still expect to lose.
If you genuinely want to lose, you need to get on plan properly, I'm sure a lot of people will agree you need the motivation and determination to make it work.
Read thru different people's diaries on here - if they don't give you the motivation I'm not sure what will!! Good luck with it xxx
Hardly eating will also mean you either maintain or gain as your body goes into starvation. Maybe trying to eat more as it should help to get the weight off (I know its an unusal thing to say but it does work )